[Nonpareil]

Which style is more effective? Of course I'm talking about game here.

Background is I have a buddy, very good friend and we also wing for each other when the situation calls for it. We're both in the game and we both do pretty well. I'm more slow, quietly confident and speaking only when I have something to say, while he's more of a life of the party type of guy, loud-talking, ripping jokes and one-liners continually. This is how it is and how its always been.

In five years of friendship and hustling together, I have noticed one thing; while on average the girls I pull are more attractive, he does tend to pull way more girls overall.

We have sort of dissected this and tried to adapt, but one thing is clear; I can do the high energy thing, but only in short bursts, it's too exhausting and its just not me. I know if its not broken then you shouldn't fix it, but there's nothing wrong with adding a few more tools to the toolbox.

So my question is this; which of these two game skillsets is better? And not only that, which would you say you fall under?

Chill: Mysterious, deep, actions speak for you, aloof.
High Energy: Likable, center of attention, outgoing, fun.

Obviously traits that girls like, though for different reasons.

NP

[young_money]

My style is definitely more chill than high energy but I would say a variation of both. I would describe it as very confident, chilled, VIP game. Not looking for approval from anyone, really enjoying my surroundings, talking whatever shit I want to, not trying to be the center of attention (but not really being able to control it), and keeping the energy level nice. If she comes out with that uppity shit, I neg her back into place. Just playful fun humor while I'm smiling and prodding her ego a little bit. Secretly that's what she wants anyways and I'm glad to oblige. If she wants to "play" then I will gladly go back and forth, taking her mind and emotions for a ride. If she's into me without playing games, I escalate the intimacy and just continue to display high social value.

I'm a firm believer that non-stop chatter should be left to women and that it displays neediness that women pick up on. That being said, I definitely know how to make girls laugh and keep their attention, but I do it in an interesting and selective way. I don't fear pauses in the conversation and I make no excuses for being obviously interested in having her sexually from the start. I use a lot of body language and touching. Why else would I even be talking to her? To go shopping later?? Yeah, right. She will normally ask me questions to try to figure me out and usually I keep my personal info to myself. Where do I work? Around. What do I do? Make money. How? I own a few businesses/ or It's complicated/ or Money is boring, don't worry about that..
The key is to smile and keep it flirty and a bit mysterious. She does not want you to let her figure you out. The key is not crossing the line into being "a dick" as girls would say. This is def not a beginner style bc it can backfire if you aren't coming from a very natural place with it. Think Daniel Craig style from Casino Royale.

[OSL]

(08-30-2010 02:48 AM)young_money Wrote:  

My style is definitely more chill than high energy but I would say a variation of both. I would describe it as very confident, chilled, VIP game. Not looking for approval from anyone, really enjoying my surroundings, talking whatever shit I want to, not trying to be the center of attention (but not really being able to control it), and keeping the energy level nice. If she comes out with that uppity shit, I neg her back into place. Just playful fun humor while I'm smiling and prodding her ego a little bit. Secretly that's what she wants anyways and I'm glad to oblige. If she wants to "play" then I will gladly go back and forth, taking her mind and emotions for a ride. If she's into me without playing games, I escalate the intimacy and just continue to display high social value.

I'm a firm believer that non-stop chatter should be left to women and that it displays neediness that women pick up on. That being said, I definitely know how to make girls laugh and keep their attention, but I do it in an interesting and selective way. I don't fear pauses in the conversation and I make no excuses for being obviously interested in having her sexually from the start. I use a lot of body language and touching. Why else would I even be talking to her? To go shopping later?? Yeah, right. She will normally ask me questions to try to figure me out and usually I keep my personal info to myself. Where do I work? Around. What do I do? Make money. How? I own a few businesses/ or It's complicated/ or Money is boring, don't worry about that..
The key is to smile and keep it flirty and a bit mysterious. She does not want you to let her figure you out. The key is not crossing the line into being "a dick" as girls would say. This is def not a beginner style bc it can backfire if you aren't coming from a very natural place with it. Think Daniel Craig style from Casino Royale.

Yeah I agree with everything said above.

I'm naturally more high energy and flirty. Also I'm a pretty good dancer, which lends to my high energy persona.

However, on the nights when I am beat and just quiet, I get a lot more attention than my buddies who chatter themselves out of getting laid.

Ironic that on the nights when I have everything else on my mind but getting laid, or have a girl at the pad waiting for me, girls want to bang.

Simultaneously, when I want to bang and don't have a chick at the crib, they are nowhere to be found.

[speakeasy]

I'm a lot like the OP. Pretty chill with an occasional burst of high energy that doesn't last long before I feel fatigued. That's the hallmark of introverts. Sometimes they can catch a wind and act like extroverts, but it drains their batteries quick.

We live in an extrovert's world so extroverts have the advantage. Women like guys that can bring them out of their shell and make them do things they didn't think they would do. It's more difficult to play that angle as an introvert. I guess the best model for introverts would be the James Bond archetype. Confident, mysterious, interesting, smooth, not looking to impress anyone with gift of gab.

[Quasi]

I think its depends both of personality, mood and the scenario. If you can see her more times, might be better not to be too hyper entusiastic fun and entertaining, since you wont be able to keep that up easy.. on the other hand, being mysteries in a mist of other guys requires that your skills in that venue is keen, or that you are in an environment where you are the exotic beauty..me in Colombia... Mix in Slovenia.. etc

Also depends on how she allready looks at you ignore you etc.. her overall self perceived value and such.. cute more insecure girls there in no need to go all out and scare them.. but for the bitch shielded bimbos a really high energy game is more appropriate in my mind.

[Nonpareil]

(08-30-2010 04:53 AM)speakeasy Wrote:  

I'm a lot like the OP. Pretty chill with an occasional burst of high energy that doesn't last long before I feel fatigued. That's the hallmark of introverts. Sometimes they can catch a wind and act like extroverts, but it drains their batteries quick.

We live in an extrovert's world so extroverts have the advantage. Women like guys that can bring them out of their shell and make them do things they didn't think they would do. It's more difficult to play that angle as an introvert. I guess the best model for introverts would be the James Bond archetype. Confident, mysterious, interesting, smooth, not looking to impress anyone with gift of gab.

Very true. I look at James Bond and (more recently) Don Draper as fictional game role models. The problem with being an introvert and giving game advice is that it's really hard to give game advice to people about how you do what you do, even if they share a similar personality. I don't like giving my 'secrets' away (even if they aren't really secrets), but if someone asks for my help I like to try and do my best.

I think because of a market oversaturation that chill game is making a comeback. Every guy who learns game tries to be a high energy player, which is fine and I have nothing against it, but both are beneficial for different reasons. High energy game is easier to learn and will get you results quicker, and chill game is harder to master but will in the long run serve you better (ever see a 45 year old high energy player with a hot 27 year old on his arm?)

I'd just like to mention though, there is a difference between being 'introverted, quiet and smooth' and being a creepy wallflower. There are a few very important things that you can do to up your appeal to women if you're naturally quite; have great style, have good body language, have tangible class, strut around with supreme confidence, surprisingly have a great sense of humor, open girls but don't reveal too much about who you are etc, pretty much exactly how I operate.

Just like there is a difference between a fun, high-energy player and a dancing monkey; be unapologetic, always maintain the idea that you're right, always be in character without seeming like a charicature, always get the last word (buddy is one of those guys who when you're talking its near impossible to get a word in...I can't stand it, but I can guess that girls like it).

I've accepted that I'm a pretty quiet, chill guy, but as I said I can turn on the high-energy when I need to. One time I do this is when I go clubbing, which I admit is only about 6 or 7 times a year; I can dance, joke, be hyper aggresive and be the center of attention fine. There's a time and a place for both chill and high energy game, while you want to be chill gaming a cute girl you work with, the club is a definite high energy spot.

[MiXX]

Depends on location. Sitting aloof at a high energy dance club is not what I recommend. Women will feel your fun vibe, just balance yourself out. Don't be a clown/joker, just be playful and social with good energy.

However, if you are day gaming at a cafe, don't go running around like you are on x. This is where chill kicks in.


Mixx

[thegmanifesto]

Combo of both.

[InternationPlayboy]

Def. depends on venue. At a loungy place or the beach, I'll play chill vibe. At a big club or wild houseparty maybe high energy. You just have to feel it out.

[gringoed]

Good advice above, and don't forget to be as congruent as possible with your natural personality if you'd like to develop a relationship from it. You can't fake it forever.

[InternationPlayboy]

^Exactly man^. I take most advice on picking up with a grain of salt, because I just do what works for me. Not to say there aren't some pretty key rules to follow (I.E. don't over call, don't only hang out with her, don't be a beta fag). But when it comes down to it, do what works for you, because like you said, you can't fake it. Find your nitch.

[Quasi]

I think the major difference is, that when I girl/women decides she wanna game you, due to she is drawn towards you when chilling the bond is alot stronger, than when you get her attention, bust her balls, so I think that you land more % when you let them decide and do the male " scarcity panic mindset" deal.

If she starts approaching etc. you can usually blow her away with being interesting, having balls and intelligent. My problem is sometimes I have a crazy humor and I forget it only work on intelligent women, that cost me some "oh you are weird" and is also maybe because I get too hyper entusiastic and just forget the mission

I dont have to try to be funny, because frankly most women dont get humor.

[kerouac]

I would go with "Chill Energy".

[zanetti]

when i think about all the guys i've known who were naturally good with women, i'd describe them more as chill but they had smth under the surface like if someone crossed them or went too far, they could snap in an instant and become very dominant/aggressive/high energy - this wasn't their default state tho

[clr]

I will tell you that its all about calibration, thats what makes a great PUA. Feeling out the situation and being able to adjust. Like anything in life, the masters are able to adapt and adjust given the situation. Its really not about changing who you are, but what part of your personality you are going to show. Calibration, calibration.

[Willy Wonka]

Like others said, it depends on the venue, so it's beneficial to be able to be both.

If you're high energy at a dance club cool, but if the chick is coming over your place to chill, you probably don't want to be super high energy. Be congruent with your settings....

[hydrogonian]

You'll be the most successful with women if you don't fake what is outside of your natural personality. Women have the best bullshit detectors on the planet, especially when it comes to social behavior. If your good with women in the ways that count, it won't matter if you are chill or high energy. If you are naturally chill, then picking up women in the clubs is likely less your game. Best to game in ways that play to your strengths.

[Quasi]

Hydro is a champ :-) I love reading your insights.

[HD668B]

I did high energy when I first started, but got a modicum of results (hell I didnt even get laid on a NYE party... pretty bad). The thing is most chodes without game will opt for high energy too because they will overstress and freakout over that hot girl that just said "hi". Also its easier to get on that slippery slope of "wanting to impress her".

So then I switched to deep and mysterious, no talking, look her in the eyes like she is a lamb, and from now on I get regular ONS.

My 2 cents.

[kerouac]

There is the high energy that is more girly a.d.h.d and then there is the more focused and carnivorous high energy that comes out of most men when they are comfortable with themselves and their environment.

The ADHD high energy comes from not being comfortable with yourself and your surroundings (like a hyena) and the confident and focused high energy comes from the opposite (like a lion).

Just watch the Lion King

[thegmanifesto]

"hell I didnt even get laid on a NYE party... pretty bad"

New years eve may be the worst night of the year to roll out. Junior Varsity night.

Don't feel bad. Take the knowledge and skip it for the future.

[gringochileno]

I agree that high-energy is easier to get results with starting out. Generating interest without using flashy/cocky game as a crutch is still something I struggle with.

Usually I do the best when I come in with pretty high energy, then get a little more chill and aloof once I have the girl's attention and interest. A lot of the time this happens automatically since it's not very natural to be constantly redlining the engine for a long period of time. I've found that if I don't start out at an energy level that's at least higher than the girl's it's hard to get her hooked in the first place. Obviously this varies depending on the girl and the setting--jumping around like a retard might work in a Latin American club but not on a date or in a coffee shop.

[Tuthmosis]

I live or die by the high-energy game. It's my natural personality and it takes massive amounts of effort to suppress it, so instead I work at directing it properly. It can scare off the more timid girls (that probably would have been TMW anyway), but works like gangbusters on the fun, interesting chicks. Sometimes, it brings the shier ones out of their shells.

High-energy definitely has its perils. I make sure not to be the entertainment clown or so smothering that I kick myself in the nuts in the process of trying to pick up. But, apart from those risks, I find that it matches me well. I used to envy the cool, reserved cats that can pull off the G-Manifesto, James Bond vibe, but I'm not that guy. As cornball as it sounds, my game shot through the roof when I accepted my natural state and developed it further.

[Screwston]

I'm trying to figure out how I can bring more energy to my game at a club or maybe a concert. I'm a very laid back guy and have decent results in every day places but have a harder time in other venues.

[Kickb]

Id say I'm more chill than high energy. Ultimately it depends on the vibe