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Losing Sexual Attraction with Great Girls
#51

Losing Sexual Attraction with Great Girls

I'm experiencing this right now. I look at my LTG and I think, damn this girl is gorgeous. She is model hot. People come up to me all the time, like, all the time, to say how hot she is. Waitresses, bartenders, women of all kinds catch my eye when she isn't looking and say like dayummm your girl is hot!!

But i can't barely muster the urge to fuck her at all.

I'd rather have sex with a six than with her right now.

Its sad.

If she were ugly I think I would have moved on already, but if this is how its going to be even with the hottest girls, then why settle for less when I'll be just as sick of it?

I dunno.
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#52

Losing Sexual Attraction with Great Girls

Great thread. This is something I too have struggled with. Some behavioural changes which helped me were...

- try not to go for quick notches. If you spend 3-4 dates getting to know a woman before you go for the notch, you'll establish in your mind how rare your ideal woman really is. When your usual game is quick notches, the only criteria is looks and that leads you to believe that 9s and 10s are common. If you got to know those women before going for the notch, most of them would go down a point or two because of other factors.

- have some 'away time' where you can 'reset' your attraction. Ideal places are ones where no woman passes the boner test. For example, go fishing in Scotland or on a tour somewhere in the Middle East where the women dress as ninjas.


I have the same problem not only with women but with cities too. The first few months in a new city are often golden, but as time passes I start to get bored and lose energy. When that happens, it's time to take a few weeks' off in a place that's as different as possible. So if you're in Europe, go to Asia, for example.
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#53

Losing Sexual Attraction with Great Girls

Ok, this is going to be interesting. A very personal post that while not directly related to this topic, it does run parallel to it. I had the same thoughts in my head as G at a time, and I acted on it.



I have a kid on the way, the mother is in the 2nd trimester. It was expected.

Yeah. You read it here first.



Some of you have met or interacted with me here on the board might be surprised. Some may question my previous posts. Might even call me a traitor if you're the dramatic type.

Thing is, I'm now in my upper 30's. I've been red pill since 20 when I got into the game in one of its very first generations. That hasn't kept me from wanting kids. Not a family necessarily but I view the family as the most effective vehicle with which to deliver a healthy and mentally sound kid. At the same time I don't want to be one of those geriatric dads that can't throw a ball to their middle schooler. In my family the men also has a history of heart disease despite otherwise healthy living so I suppose I have 5-10 years less than what can be expected.

To make things clearer, I'm not married. I'm not planning to propose. You'll never catch me saying "top that motherfuckers". Also I'm sleeping with other women than the mother. Granted, my temporary relations are not as frequent as they used to be. Relevant to the topic my sexual attraction to the mother is small. It has been that way for most of the 5 years I've known her. She is however in short, my best friend.

A couple of years this girl (which I've referred to as "my main" for a long time on the board) became more close to me than any girl I've ever know. While she's by all objective means hot (a former model that has worked internationally) I let her in because she's a girl at heart. Sweet and nurturing but also successful, ambitious and cunning without becoming obsessed about work and status. She's of good stock, financially sound and logical while still holding many motherly characteristics and the type who bursts into tears when I raise my voice at her rather than blowing up.

At the same time all this happened my sexual attraction to her started to wane. When this happened with other girls in the past I usually just moved on without a second look. Still I consciously knew that this had been the best girl in my life by far and with my sample size that was saying some. I took a long hard look at her and realized that this would be the best mother to my child(ren) that I was likely to meet.

I had made it known who I was from the start. A pragmatic man, committed to that which I set myself on to but also someone that never promises something I don't intend to keep. There has never been a discussion of me being true to her without fault. What I have promised her is that I will never hurt her. I will never let her catch me in a weak moment. I will never embarrass her or make her lose face. When we are with her family and friends I will be the most dedicated and loving partner to her, the likes of which these outsiders have never seen. What the two of us privately are in agreement on and how we relate to each other however is nobody else's business.

So, to re-tie this to the topic at hand. There are girls that will be more than just a temporary sate for a burning desire. You might not feel the same primal desire about them as that girl that wanted you to choke her while being assbanged on a Vegas hotel terrace (true story). But you know, some girls are actually worth to keep around. With those you have to ask yourself what you consider the most realistic and valuable - sound long-term prospects or an ability to make you horny no matter what.

Personally I have tried to combine the two. Without success. So now you know what I choose when it came down to it.



...more than shark's love blood.
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#54

Losing Sexual Attraction with Great Girls

^ Very mature, great post Vicious. Few questions:

Is she Sweedish like yourself? Where are you going to raise the kid? Do you plan on having more?


Unlike some of the guys on here, I see nothing wrong with having children or desiring them. In fact, I believe desiring children is natural and children bring joy that sex cannot.

Family is it's own category that has no substitute, and deserves no justification.

It is impossible to have a girl that satisfies you in every way. But why care? The world isn't perfect. You aren't perfect. Why try to find a solution in the form of a "dream girl?" It makes no sense.

I like having long term relationships and I like variety. Men have been doing this for millions of years and it's not going to stop anytime soon. Rather that be ashamed of our nature, I say it's better to embrace it.

Contributor at Return of Kings.  I got banned from twatter, which is run by little bitches and weaklings. You can follow me on Gab.

Be sure to check out the easiest mining program around, FreedomXMR.
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#55

Losing Sexual Attraction with Great Girls

Congrats on the kid Vicious.
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#56

Losing Sexual Attraction with Great Girls

Quote: (10-17-2013 03:35 PM)Samseau Wrote:  

^ Very mature, great post Vicious. Few questions:

Is she Sweedish like yourself?

Yes.

Quote:Quote:

Where are you going to raise the kid?[quote]

Here in Swe. I could think of places which I prefer from a cultural perspective. But giving away all the freebies that comes with a Swedish citizenship and living in Swe would be financially insane.

[quote]Do you plan on having more?

We'll see. I go into this with no illusions. If it turns out that it's not what I wanted it to be then I'll step back. It might be that I might desire more kids, just not with this mother (though that is a very unlikely contingency plan).
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#57

Losing Sexual Attraction with Great Girls

Great insight Vicious.

It deserves a thread of it's own.

When you get to a certain stage or point in your life you will desire a child. I have a few years on you and I yearn for a mini-me, the upside outweighs the downside. The only thing I am not sold on is marriage.

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http://www.repstylez.com
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#58

Losing Sexual Attraction with Great Girls

This sounds like a low t commercial to me.

"Are you in the company of a drop dead gorgeous model and still aren't turned on? You maybe suffering from low t."

Even though I'm joking and y'all are my boys it maybe true.
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#59

Losing Sexual Attraction with Great Girls

The mother of my child is beautiful, loyal (to loyal sometimes), cooks, cleans and would have sex with me whenever I wanted it. And I am still very much attracted to her.

But she is bat shit crazy, possessive, extremely jealous and has border line personality disorder.

What's crazy is she can say all this mean shit to me out of anger and no matter what I still always think she looks sexy as fuck and I always want to bang her. (Maybe I have issues to because of that I don't know)

I think some of It comes down to a more scientific primal level.

Sometimes a 10 is really hot but won't turn me on like 7 or 8 with a serious sex vibe will. It's weird. I can't explain it and I don't think it's something we can learn in a book.

The grey areas of life man.
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#60

Losing Sexual Attraction with Great Girls

"But she is bat shit crazy, possessive, extremely jealous and has border line personality disorder.

What's crazy is she can say all this mean shit to me out of anger and no matter what I still always think she looks sexy as fuck and I always want to bang her."

^^^I've experienced the 'joys' of a BPD relationship and holy fuck is it a nightmare. The flip side is the sex though. It's on a different level.
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#61

Losing Sexual Attraction with Great Girls

Fucking crazy girls compared to normal girls is llike the difference between playing through a Roland jazz chorus amp and a hot rodded tube Marshall
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#62

Losing Sexual Attraction with Great Girls

Quote: (07-09-2013 04:25 PM)soup Wrote:  

The Italians have it figured out. You wife up and then have side dishes, on the DL so that the fabric of society can be maintained.

Women are all about the community. You violate that, and you disrespect their nature.

Whatever happens, you have to keep their community vibe good.

They know in the back of their mind that your are with other women, but you do it with class, so it is ok.

That Italy is disappearing.
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#63

Losing Sexual Attraction with Great Girls

Gotta also chime in with the madonna/whore thing...which I've noticed is also a PRIMARY reason for women cheating. Before I swore off married chicks, my girl(s) & I had 3somes/4somes with several married women. They ALWAYS said that they fantasized about & wanted to try a 3some...with their husbands, but their husbands didn't see them as "that kinda girl," so they acted it out elsewhere.
So I'd definitely say that if you can't perceive your long-term chick as your own personal dirty whore (which they want SOOOO badly), and act accordingly, then just forget about "wifey material," and continue with the stick-n-move lifestyle.
WHY YOU YOU WANNA SPEND YEARS WITH SOMEONE WHOM YOU DON'T WANT TO FUCK UNTIL SHE TAPS OUT?!?!?! SHE WANTS TO BE TAPPED OUT...
...if not by you, SOMEONE.

I also think that people underestimate the power of the majestic threesome. My cousin told me that after 20 years, he still considers his wife sexy, sensual, dick-down material, because at least four times per year, she goes out to get a chick for threesomes. He says that makes him want to fuck her like a Berserker.
DEFINITELY will keep the testosterone pumping and the fires burning.

I've been with one of my chicks for 14 years. She's been bringing chicks home from her yoga classes, or wherever, for threesome fun for the whole 14 years. I still fuck her like a brand new bitch, because that makes her SUPER SEXY to me.
I've been with my other chick for two years. Again, we all have 3somes together. They get into seduction mode and often bring home a third chick for a 4some. I'll meet a chick, and introduce them to her...4some. That whole youthful, adventurous sensuality keeps me fucking them like I hate'm.
I THINK THE POWER OF THE 3SOME, 4SOME, & MORESOME IS GREATLY UNDERESTIMATED WHEN IT COMES TO KEEPING THE FIRES BURNING IN A LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP.
That underestimation, on the part of men, likely has something to do with the madonna/whore mental debility, since things like a 3some is seen as too "vulgar" and "dirty" for his dropped-from-heaven wifey. This mentality is a HUGE problem in lots of marriages where the primary complaint of the wife is the sex.
There's a Taoist proverb that says, "The best aphrodisiac is other women."
This applies to both women & men.

My observation is that women are meant to be monogamous, not men. So maybe when you see her as "marrying material," you're associating that with boring, monogamous, non-sexuality.
KEEP IN MIND THAT MONOGAMY HAS BEEN SHOWN, IN STUDY AFTER STUDY, TO LOWER TESTOSTERONE!!!
That non-domesticated, REAL man in you may be fighting being demoted from Lion to house cat.
Every time I see a man crying and/or fainting at his wedding, I think that the last vestiges of his TRUE Masculinity is expressing its ANGUISH (we as a pussified society has convinced ourselves that it's tears of joy) at being executed.

It seems if you want the marry-worthy type of chick in your life, you need to change your internal meanings of that. Change the associations and what in NLP are called "submodalities" so that what it means to you for a girl to be worthy of marriage makes her compellingly & irresistibly more FUCK-HER-INTO-THE-PAVEMENT-WORTHY.
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