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TheLastPsychiatrist: "The problem of wives on cable TV"
#1

TheLastPsychiatrist: "The problem of wives on cable TV"

http://partialobjects.com/2012/12/the-pr...-cable-tv/
[Image: lori-grimes-of-The-Walking-Dead.jpg]
An interesting article in the LA Times about how the wives portrayed in cable dramas are…. hated.

Lori’s bloody end capped off a particularly rough year for AMC’s first wives club. When the once-svelte Betty showed up at the beginning of “Mad Men’s” fifth season carrying 50 or so pounds of extra weight, “Fat Betty” became an instant meme. Similarly, when Skyler plunged into her pool in a desperate cry for help this summer on “Breaking Bad,” her detractors wondered aloud why she didn’t just drown herself already.

I’d change the word “hated” to hatable. If suicide is a selfish act, then it was perfectly in character for Skyler. Why is it so easy to hate her?

The simple reason why men don’t like the wives in TV shows is that it is impossible to like a character who doesn’t act, do. Surprise, men don’t like passive women (characters.) Even if the doing is preposterous (superheroes). Do something. Men, generally, hate the women in stories who are simply supporting cast. The examples are myriad: porn is beloved, and women are the stars. Rom-coms, by contrast, and Twilight, and The Hunger Games, all have female leads but they’re not doing, they are reacting or emoting or waiting. The first move is the man’s.

The women never act as independent individuals. Their thoughts and actions are always in response or in reaction (or even in support) of their husbands; there’s never a sense of them as women. No TV show could be made about Lori.

What women in TV do a lot of, to the exclusion of everything else, is talk. Three dimensional characters come into conflict, but these cardboard cutouts criticize. Endlessly. At least if they were moral criticisms we could say the women are personifications of superego, but their criticisms aren’t about right and wrong, they’re essentially selfish: what’s this going to mean for me? This isn’t just the wives. On Homeland, the 16 year old daughter is portrayed as a selfish brat, but she is merely a more unfiltered version of her mother. Every line of dialogue for both of them is some version of “what now?” Note that the daughter and her boyfriend have killed someone, and while the boy tries to cover it up, all she does is talk about it. “What now? This isn’t right…”

To mask this inertia, this awful lack of agency, dialogue for women is often (forgive me) “chirping”: staccato zips that substitute for meaningful content, snappy dialogue with barely a pause in between responses, emphasized with popping piano notes as soundtrack, and if you need examples watch anything on network TV.

Ultimately the biggest problem for the wives of AMC may also be the most intractable: “Women are socialized to identify with both male and female protagonists, but I don’t think men are socialized to identify with female protagonists. When they are asked to do so, they rebel,” argues Holmes.

This is wrong. Men accepted Homeland no problem, and a decade ago they loved Alias, and there are plenty of female superheroes men love.

If you start from the perspective of “men don’t like strong women” or “there’s an undercurrent of misogyny”, like many silly people do, you’ll miss the point. When Jezebel or other “feminist” outlets try to tell you that these characters are “strong women” or female role models, they are, of course, doing a terrible disservice to women; but what’s fascinating to me is how they think they are advancing the cause. I want my daughter to watch Lori and Betty and Skyler and think, “Jesus, these people are idiots.”

A separate question is why actually strong female characters rarely exist, especially on network TV which is watched mostly by middle aged women. And that would be your answer, unfortunately: the audience can’t relate.

Interestingly, the one show that does depict a female with thought, action, agency, is Homeland– and she is explicitly depicted as mentally ill, and it’s hard not to read this as, “only a woman who was broken already would be this fiercely independent, able to do all these things.” But instead of feminists posing this interpretation, they praise her for being able to do so much in spite of her mental illness. Ladies, this is a story, this isn’t real life– there is no “in spite of.” It’s all “as a consequence of.”

—–



1. Interestingly, strong females on network TV almost always carry a gun, which is evidence of a “phallic signifier”– simply, a symbol of power that changes both the viewer’s understanding of the person and the person’s own behavior and desires.

2. But there’s an essential realism to the TV wives and their men: the kind of man who would go from chemistry teacher to cold murderer/drug dealer is the kind of person who would have married the kind of woman who is deeply selfish, angry, bitter. The kind of narcissist who is Don Draper would have married the kind of woman what was a soulless plastic model of her own mother. Etc.





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Interesting idea, but there is something else.
What if cable TV wives are hated because men have no interest in women who are giving children to another man? In real life how often do you care about some random dude's 35 year old wife? She is invisible, of absolutely no value to you, an object that's in the way.

Single, young heroines are loved more because they're available. They're on the market, showing off the goods. They're more fun to watch than some bitchy woman with buttoned up shirt.
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#2

TheLastPsychiatrist: "The problem of wives on cable TV"

Now this is epic shit!
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#3

TheLastPsychiatrist: "The problem of wives on cable TV"

I hate all the AMC wives too, because they're such bitches. There's been like six or seven facebook flame wars started up on my wall because I write such negative stuff about Lori being a bitch or why Skyler hasn't just dropped dead yet. I get a visceral reaction watching some of this shit and wrote a facebook post about how they should redefine Skyler or Lori as antagonists because they're so stupid it's a hazard to keep them around. If these women were understanding and supportive it would probably make for worse TV dramas though.

Edit: It's also possible that most dudes realize immediately that if a man were pulling half the dysfunctional shit these TV wives pulled it would be grounds to get murdered as a plot point. Pussy immunity can be a hateful thing.
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#4

TheLastPsychiatrist: "The problem of wives on cable TV"

Quote: (06-29-2013 12:50 PM)ghostdog Wrote:  

Interesting idea, but there is something else.
What if cable TV wives are hated because men have no interest in women who are giving children to another man? In real life how often do you care about some random dude's 35 year old wife? She is invisible, of absolutely no value to you, an object that's in the way.

Single, young heroines are loved more because they're available. They're on the market, showing off the goods. They're more fun to watch than some bitchy woman with buttoned up shirt.

I respectfully disagree with this idea.

Perfect example is the Queen of Thorns on Game of Thrones. Watching her go back and forth with Tywin Lannister has been one of the high points in that series.

And who hasn't laughed at an episode of the Golden Girls.

Viewing women only through the lens of people who can do something for you sexually will make you miss out on a lot of good things in life.

WIA
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#5

TheLastPsychiatrist: "The problem of wives on cable TV"

Quote: (06-29-2013 03:58 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

Quote: (06-29-2013 12:50 PM)ghostdog Wrote:  

Interesting idea, but there is something else.
What if cable TV wives are hated because men have no interest in women who are giving children to another man? In real life how often do you care about some random dude's 35 year old wife? She is invisible, of absolutely no value to you, an object that's in the way.

Single, young heroines are loved more because they're available. They're on the market, showing off the goods. They're more fun to watch than some bitchy woman with buttoned up shirt.

I respectfully disagree with this idea.

Perfect example is the Queen of Thorns on Game of Thrones. Watching her go back and forth with Tywin Lannister has been one of the high points in that series.

And who hasn't laughed at an episode of the Golden Girls.

Viewing women only through the lens of people who can do something for you sexually will make you miss out on a lot of good things in life.

WIA
Queen of Thorns is an exception to me. I too enjoy her but she is a really well written character.
These other shows have wives who are just... useless. They don't excel at anything and at the same time they're not feminine, submissive or nurturing. They're hostile and demeaning, walking headches torturing their husbands. If they were feminine male viewers wouldn't mind them but probably wouldn't be all that interested, then they start to bitch and male viewers HATE them.

The Golden Girls are from a time when old women were likeable. Feminism made grandmothers some of the most respected people in society
Old shows used to feature likable wives. Remember shows like Happy Days? Brady Bunch?
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#6

TheLastPsychiatrist: "The problem of wives on cable TV"

On TV I often don't hate feminist characters like Peggy on Mad Men. I liked her better than either of Don's wives. She's ugly but she was interesting.
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#7

TheLastPsychiatrist: "The problem of wives on cable TV"

Quote: (06-29-2013 03:58 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

Quote: (06-29-2013 12:50 PM)ghostdog Wrote:  

Interesting idea, but there is something else.
What if cable TV wives are hated because men have no interest in women who are giving children to another man? In real life how often do you care about some random dude's 35 year old wife? She is invisible, of absolutely no value to you, an object that's in the way.

Single, young heroines are loved more because they're available. They're on the market, showing off the goods. They're more fun to watch than some bitchy woman with buttoned up shirt.

I respectfully disagree with this idea.

Perfect example is the Queen of Thorns on Game of Thrones. Watching her go back and forth with Tywin Lannister has been one of the high points in that series.

And who hasn't laughed at an episode of the Golden Girls.

Viewing women only through the lens of people who can do something for you sexually will make you miss out on a lot of good things in life.

WIA

It's not reducing women to people who can only do something for you sexually.

It's regarding women who can't do something for you sexually as you would a man: invisible, potentially an obstacle until/unless she demonstrates herself worthy of your allegiance, attention, and/or respect.

#NoSingleMoms
#NoHymenNoDiamond
#DontWantDaughters
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#8

TheLastPsychiatrist: "The problem of wives on cable TV"

This is an interesting perspective. Betty Draper elicits a lot of mixed feelings as people do see her as a cold fish yet there seems to be sympathy as she was pretty much raised to be an empty vessel. Lori from Walking Dead was pretty much universally reviled though, from both male and female viewers.
On Justified, one of the seasons had the bad guy be the matriarch of a bunch of hillbillies. A fat middle aged woman who was smart, cunning, multi-dimensional and deadly. She was a pleasure to watch.
As nice as it is to watch young babes on the screen, frankly I would prefer to watch multifaceted characters on the screen, be they men or women, old or young, ugly or pretty.
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