If you tell me to go back and search for this topic, I will. If you tell me to read the fucking book, I am now.. but.. I need answers! I have been approaching and got two numbers today. The second was a very sexy girl, not from the US. I want to know how soon I should text her back? My guess is I dont have to wait as long to text back non-US girls.
How soon to text
Wait 2 days.
CALL her and set up the date. Reference things you talked about with her when you got her number to make her feel comfortable and not get creeped out thinking you only want sex.
CALL her and set up the date. Reference things you talked about with her when you got her number to make her feel comfortable and not get creeped out thinking you only want sex.
IMO it depends on your personal style and especially the frame you set in the initial interaction. if you were more aloof then stick to that and wait 1-2 days. if you're more direct and expressive then it's ok to text same day you met her and ask her out cause it's congruent to the frame.
Stop worrying about it. Just don't text her the same night if you didn't bang unless you are inviting her out.
Vice-Captain - #TeamWaitAndSee
I dated a feminist last year and she is the only one out of 20+ girls who played shitty games with me. No other girl I've had to call her out on her texting, and after spending time with some girls you'll understand their texting habits a bit more.
For example, you could take a girl out to dinner. You could've walked all the way to a restaurant with her, had dinner, then gone somewhere else for drinks. She may not have pulled her phone at once so you know next time you text her, if she doesn't reply for a while, she genuinely is busy.
On the flipside, if a girl has her phone out often and doesn't text you back, it's an obvious sign of how she perceives your value and her interest levels.
Obviously, you don't know this when you just get a girl's number so think about how you came across and the interaction. If you had a really good vibe with a girl and you could tell something will lead on from it, then why follow a textbook and wait 2 days or whatever to reply?
What you need to take into consideration is your frame, as XXL says. People worry about sending a text "too soon" with the girl because it smacks of desperation, but a girl will be able to tell if you're desperate by the way you approached her, talked with her and handled yourself during the interaction.
You can send a text 20 minutes after meeting her in the street, it doesn't matter. If she's interested, she'll text back. If she's not, she won't. Simple. I always talk to girls on first dates about people playing games with each other and that I'm not into it, and I cut the bullshit out from them.
Text her whenever you want, just don't be arsed about it. There's no right or wrong.
For example, you could take a girl out to dinner. You could've walked all the way to a restaurant with her, had dinner, then gone somewhere else for drinks. She may not have pulled her phone at once so you know next time you text her, if she doesn't reply for a while, she genuinely is busy.
On the flipside, if a girl has her phone out often and doesn't text you back, it's an obvious sign of how she perceives your value and her interest levels.
Obviously, you don't know this when you just get a girl's number so think about how you came across and the interaction. If you had a really good vibe with a girl and you could tell something will lead on from it, then why follow a textbook and wait 2 days or whatever to reply?
What you need to take into consideration is your frame, as XXL says. People worry about sending a text "too soon" with the girl because it smacks of desperation, but a girl will be able to tell if you're desperate by the way you approached her, talked with her and handled yourself during the interaction.
You can send a text 20 minutes after meeting her in the street, it doesn't matter. If she's interested, she'll text back. If she's not, she won't. Simple. I always talk to girls on first dates about people playing games with each other and that I'm not into it, and I cut the bullshit out from them.
Text her whenever you want, just don't be arsed about it. There's no right or wrong.
I've been trying to avoid a golden rule of somesort when it comes to texting.
Don't be needy.
As long as you're not needy, such as texting her too frequently, investing more than her, or subcommunicating that you need her in some way, you're doing fine.
From that point on its about her being interested, or spiking her interest.
Then set up logistics.
Don't be needy.
As long as you're not needy, such as texting her too frequently, investing more than her, or subcommunicating that you need her in some way, you're doing fine.
From that point on its about her being interested, or spiking her interest.
Then set up logistics.
Quote: (06-22-2013 10:53 AM)Nascimento Wrote:
I've been trying to avoid a golden rule of somesort when it comes to texting.
I agree with this, it kind of depends. In one case, I met a chick at a NYE party, made out and got her number, and texted on Jan 2 saying I was still hung over...I went on to have a 4 month relationship with her.
On the other hand, most of the time I call them first, and then text them something the next day or the day after, like the current chick I'm trying to bang. If your approaches were something like 10 minutes, I would call first. If you were with these girls for several hours, you could text them the next day with something amusing and related to your conversation.
Never text more than her, try to follow similar response times (if she waits a day, don't get back right away), no emoticons, and be careful with jokes (they don't always come off well in text).
Quote: (06-22-2013 10:53 AM)Nascimento Wrote:
Don't be needy.
Amen to that!
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