[thesecond]

If the nice guy was actually manipulating women for sex he'd be a lot more successful. His asshole nature would shine through on occasion and he'd be a lot more interesting. There'd be some contrast in his nature and he'd be able to manipulate that to his advantage.

Bad boys are far from honest. They frequently lie and present some veneer to enhance their appeal. Mystery is, after all, a lot more interesting than the truth. Plus if you don't mention you want sex it's often a lot easier to get past shit tests.

[Excelsior]

(08-15-2011 05:09 PM)basilransom Wrote:  

In response to Athlone, attractive women are so averse to respect from a man that I would define pedestalization, in real terms, as:

Pedestalize: To suggest that one wants more than just sex.

To avoid putting her on the pedestal: You must show you are ready to walk at a moment's notice; you must not care if she disappears entirely from your life.

I agree completely.

He who invests the least in women gets the greatest rate of return.

Nice guys finish last. Cliched, but very true.

[Urban Renaissance Man]

(08-15-2011 05:09 PM)basilransom Wrote:  

It is as if, deep down they know they are worthless, so any man who respects them is a desperate sap.

Women respect are aroused by a man who only respects himself.

To avoid putting her on the pedestal: You must show you are ready to walk at a moment's notice; you must not care if she disappears entirely from your life.

The three above statements are as true as truth can get! Leaving "respect" in but crossing it out was extra poignant. +1

[RexImperator]

It appears that the original article is gone, but this thread is golden.

[Pride male]

Heartiste differentiates between caring asshole and uncaring asshole. The former cares about the girl's reaction. The latter doesnt.

Personally, I look at characters like Chris or Tony from the Sopranos. Cheating on her one moment then buying a diamond ring the next.

Alpha and beta are like ying and yang. One needs the other to keep a perfect balance.

[coverdoc]

(12-30-2014 05:23 PM)Pride male Wrote:  

Heartiste differentiates between caring asshole and uncaring asshole. The former cares about the girl's reaction. The latter doesnt.

Personally, I look at characters like Chris or Tony from the Sopranos. Cheating on her one moment then buying a diamond ring the next.

Alpha and beta are like ying and yang. One needs the other to keep a perfect balance.

Oh that's a golden quote there.

[Felix88]

I stopped reading at HONEST girl, the true honest ones are not the ones spewing whatever the hamster conjuring up on the internet, but then honest girl is kind of a oxymoron.

[WestIndianArchie]

(12-30-2014 04:32 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  

It appears that the original article is gone, but this thread is golden.

https://web.archive.org/web/200902070120.../sex/12965

_________________________________________________________________-

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the last four years, it’s this: Girls. Dig. A**holes.

Seriously. There are a lot of us who actually ENJOY meeting - and dating – this special breed of douche.

Okay. I might be EXTREMELY overgeneralizing here, but I have seen a wide range of chicks fall for guys who treat them like absolute sh*t. I’ve seen girls who stick with their sub-par lovers for years and can’t give you a straight answer as to why they put up with it.

I probably fall into this category as well; nice guys like me all the time, yet I constantly shy away from them in favor of their more dramatic/mysterious/douchebag-y counterparts.

This might be like flossing a dead horse - or watching a Tina Fey as Sarah Palin SNL skit (again, not that I’m complaining!), but seriously, why the hell do nice guys finish last? And whose fault is it, really?

A few of my theories :

1. Girl mistakes cockiness for confidence. Because we live in an individualistic society that stresses the importance of CONFIDENCE and SELF-ESTEEM and GOING FOR THE GOLD (no matter how you get there), it is totally possible to perceive straight-up cockiness as a public display of confidence. However, in the case of the A**hole, the guy isn’t just confident - he’s practically narcissistic. He basically feels NOTHING for any other human beside himself. So, by the time the Nice Girl realizes said dude will never care about anything other than his hair, his car and sticking his you-know-what into every willing hoo-ha in town, she’s already said the “L-word” and picked out future children’s names.

2. Girl thinks she can change the bad boy. Women are natural nurturers. We like to take care of stuff, like our best friends and our nails and our MAC makeup collection. We play therapist to most everyone in our lives. It makes us feel good to make other people feel good. So, when Nice Girl meets a guy who has some issues - like being unable to emotionally connect with other people, and/or maintain a solid relationship, or has cheated on past girlfriends – Nice Girl always thinks that SHE is obviously the one who can change the A**hole’s deviant ways. Realistically, she knows this isn’t true. But we all want to believe that we are that special girl.

Eventually though, Nice Girl learns that A**hole will never change, but she sticks around because she’s still in love with the concept of who A**hole COULD be, if he only stopped hanging out with that crowd/gave up drinking/got a new job…none of which will ever happen. Girl digs A**hole because she genuinely believes that underneath all the B.S. there is a knight in shining armor just BEGGING to be set free and show up on her doorstep with a bottle of red wine and a copy of “Baby Mama.” There’s not.

3. Girl lacks confidence. Of course, we can’t blame EVERYTHING on the A**hole. According to The Perks of Being a Wallflower, “we accept the love we think we deserve.” I don’t think I could have said it better. Sometimes, we find ourselves attached to the A**hole because we don’t believe that we can find anyone else, or perhaps we don’t even know anything better exists. It does.

4. Chivalry kinda sorta scares Girl. Although Girl doesn’t want to admit it, being treated well sometimes feels kind of awkward. When we go out with a Nice Guy, we know he’s going to do all the “typical” gentleman-ly stuff, like open our car doors and hold our hand while walking down the street. Sometimes, this is just plain weird and makes us feel kinda funny. Nice Guy virtually loses all unique points when he acts like this because Nice Guys all. act. the. same. way. They wait too long to make a move, they call too often and they are just too damn nice.

5. Girl likes the chase. Seriously, who doesn’t? Sometimes Nice Guys are just too easy. We like it when guys don’t give in to us right away. It’s exciting and it gives us something to daydream about when we’re bored in English Lit. Lame? Yes. Understandable? Definitely.

6. Finally, sometimes A**holes just really know how to play the game. They can thoroughly convince us that they are indeed a Nice Guy when the complete opposite is true. When our friends start to point out several signs of their douchebaggery, we have a “talk” with A**hole and he convinces us that our friends are batsh*t crazy and watch too much Sex & the City and that we have nothing to worry about. The A**hole will do anything he can to prevent Nice Girl from seeing his true colors….and he’s damn good at it, too.

That’s all I got. What do you lovely CC readers think – why do girls like assholes?

[Phoenix]

None of this "being an asshole" tactics talk ever really converges on a clear and usable model.

Someone, perhaps with a social science or psychology background, needs to lay it out in simple and clear language. The social dynamic, if viewed 'from birds-eye', is probably quite basic.

I suspect it is just "capacity to socially dominate", which evidences fitness stemming from multiple factors. In the West (esp. Australia), this comes from appearance, arrogant behaviour, and shit-talking. It isn't the same in all countries though.

[magellan]

I think general consensus is that it's our strange culture combined with old die evolved traits that have yet to be adapted to modern times.

[WestIndianArchie]

(01-01-2015 10:49 PM)Phoenix Wrote:  

None of this "being an asshole" tactics talk ever really converges on a clear and usable model.

Read Roissy. Asshole basics.

The basic skeleton of pickup is the same on almost every style, I imagine l

Find
Approach
Open
Banter/win over/non reaction/compliance/frame battle
Obstacles and competitors
Bounce
Close
Manage the relationship/expectations

The asshole stuff kicks in primarily in
- Open
- Banter, etc
- Managing the relationship

WIA

[Pride male]

Read this somewhere. Assholes dont get women because they are assholes. They are assholes because they know they can get women.

If you know another girl is around the corner you can afford to burn bridges.

[General Mayhem]

(01-02-2015 01:22 PM)Pride male Wrote:  

Read this somewhere. Assholes dont get women because they are assholes. They are assholes because they know they can get women.

If you know another girl is around the corner you can afford to burn bridges.

Burning bridges is something I try to avoid nowadays.

Knowing you can get another girl with a couple trips to the bar just means you can say or do whatever the fuck you want.

The term asshole just makes it confusing.

The older I get the more simple it seems. Girls just want a real man, the kind of man that used to exist before society ruined them.

Learning game is learning how a man is supposed to act. It's a reversal of all the damage that is done to a boys true nature from growing up in a pussy society.

I know a guy. If he wants a new car he buys one, he doesn't talk about it with his wife. He just shows up with the car. If she acts up he ignores her.

Asshole game?

No. That's just my grandpa being a fucking man, the way nature intended.

[tuffgong]

I used to be a nice guy, and tbh it all makes sense. Nice guys tend to be more passive and submissive, and it takes all of the fire out of the relationship. Glad I saw the light in time.

[Lizard King]

Asshole Game. Yes, a confusing name.

Teasing isn't being an asshole, but is within 'Asshole Game'.

The 'Pull' of Push/Pull social interaction isn't strictly 'Asshole Game', but without it you risk burning the bridge.

I am finding my 'Asshole Game' getting better in the relationship I am in. I have got much better at teasing and bantering. I have raised my confidence and developed an ambivalent attitude towards the woman and the state of the relationship. She frequently tells me I'm horrible or mean, and I agree. I used to find this type of behaviour very difficult, but general and sexual confidence have given me more of a DGAF attitude. I really don't give a fuck. The relationship I'm in is not going very well, but I really don't care what happens. I have other options to work on if it does collapse, which it probably will.

I too used to be a 'nice guy'. It got me nowhere, and sometimes caused emotional pain. Getting laid was bloody difficult when I was a 'nice guy'. Not the case now. I feel better about myself too. So General Mayhem is probably correct in saying it is just a case of learning how one is supposed to act.

[Foolsgo1d]

Women and men have vastly different meanings of asshole.

When a woman calls you an asshole it is because you are way out of the safe zone she thinks most men should be in.

- You blatantly looked up another girl in front of her and smiled
- You're fucking other women and she gets wind of it
- You don't do "nice romantic" things. This is easily countered by once in a blue moon offering which she will remember far more than some guy buying shit for her everyday/week.

- You are the guy her mother warned her about


When a man calls another man an asshole it is usually for aggressive reasons. However in the UK asshole isn't used by men that much. The use of twat, knobhead, dickhead etc are used.

[Katdogbirdduck]

The real question should be: How many women still have that vigorous natural feminine drive, the one that tells them to fill their real female roles in life,to be receptive to natural masculine attitude in the best context possible.
Also how many women have adopted toxic deforming feminist attitudes and to what extent?
I mean, it's taken for granted that being Alpha, playing the game for real doesn't get you anywhere with Anglosaxon or Danish girls, with some exceptions and a high endurance of course.