[oldnemesis]

You should read this thread first. There is a lot of rant from wives whose husbands watched porn, and how it hurt their feelings. First time I read it I thought it was a joke - that someone could ever over-react over such non-important issue. But since then it grew up into 400+ comments so apparently there is a lot of American women thinking this way. There is also some comments from pussy husbands trying to justify themselves with lame explanations like "my wife does not want to fuck anymore". I suggest every time you think about getting married you read it, and it should be good enough for a month or two.

The funniest part I found there was someone who claimed she's attractive - because she has been approached in bars! Got me really confused - do people really believe in this shit, or they just like to play drama all the way?

[Badstuber]

Quote:

I’m a stay-at-home mom and my husband works hard (7am – 6pm) six days a week, so naturally we don’t get to see much of each other. I’m not really sure what to believe anymore as far as marriage and porn go. My husband used to tell me he would view porn because I wasn’t very intimate with him (I haven’t wanted to have sex as much since we had our second child). I decided that I should be more intimate with him (I have been a lot more) since he is my husband and I agreed to be in a relationship with him the day we got married. But that hasn’t been working. I’ve tried watching it with him for a few weeks and we’ve been to the adult store together to be more adventurous. He tries to hide everything by keeping his little tv in the way of his monitor on his pc. He even viewed the porn maybe an hour before he gave me my Valentine’s gift! I get mad at him because he lies to me about it, for example, I asked him what something was on his computer (he said he didn’t know what it was and told me to find out) and when I told him what it was he told me that I put it there so he would get in trouble! I have very low self-esteem and I have a poor self-image, so it seems like he does it to make me feel like I’m worthless…I don’t know what to do any more except cry. So it would seem to me that pornography does horrible things to a marriage depending on the two people involved.

To the lady who posted the comment above,

First, I address my sympathy to you for being in a sick situation liks this–your example proves how wrong and unresearched this about article is–that the men DO NOT get satisfied but crave even MORE of it. It’s a common “excuse” a husband may use sometimes, according to what I’ve read online. That he blames his wife not being intimate physically. Pornography does not enhance your relationship. I am sure that when these two people (the people in the article) were “making love”, they weren’t making love to each other, they were probably picturing what they had saw in the video. This is the real trap, not the “trap” of “allowing porn to hurt you”. I mean, if it hurts you, it tells you something–it isn’t right. Secondly, why hide/deny the emotion of being hurt? This is one of those “defense mechanisms”. There are so many more points to counter here. Remember, pornography is cybersex and sex outside marriage is adultery so porn-use is adultery and not to mention degrading of the person you are looking at–you use them as an object for your own selfish pleasure. Another thought, they article says that she didn’t mind it later on, let me ask this: would you have married your husband if he told you before the wedding, or even before you walking down the carpet that “hmm… I hope you are okay with the fact that I am going to be looking at pictures of other women in case we don’t spend much time together. Would you have walked down the carpet and married that man? I think not, because he’s telling you that he’s going to be committing adultery later on. I recommend the websites: http://www.family.org and blazinggrace.org/index.html (which by the way has a forum and a story from a former pornography actress and how she was involved and out of porn industry and the process during. I hope this is helpful. You guys should definitely pray together–it helps alot, you express your feelings and your thoughts and your deepest concerns to God together. I also hope that your relationship will be intimate again–not just physically of course.

Like a mistress, porn can corrupt relationships. Remember, it’s not just the pictures, deep down, it’s a craving to satisfy a selfish desire without making an commitment.

I have read your comments with interest. I am a married woman of 24 years and find myself in a state of confusion. My husband who is 47 has decided that he needs to have more ‘adventurous’ sex. He has watched and looked at porn since he was 15 and on and off during our marriage. I have begged him to stop. I have told him how that makes me feel and how that is hurting our marriage. I really don’t think he cares. Now he wants to start doing some unspeakable things – I say this because he won’t tell me exactly what he wants, only that is doesn’t involve animals… He is dead serious. I have asked for us to go to counseling to have him realize that this is not how the vast majority of people are. Any thoughts?

WTF.. Counseling just because someone watches pron? Lol..
That people even have the time to write about something that's not even important...

But maybe it's not just American women, but women from all over the world?

[thekiller]

Porn is much like alcohol, a little in moderation probably doesn't hurt anything. But honestly, porn doesn't bring a lot of value to the table, it's not real, it sets up false expectations and ideas. A lot of guys are WAY too into it. You'd be better off going to the beach, mall, or even a strip club to ogle real girls.

Now if these guys were watching Asian porn maybe a case could be made that they're missing the femininity of a real woman, which most American Women lack. But this guys are probably watching the usual lame Westernized barbie doll stuff.

[hydrogonian]

Most women that I know, intimately, like watching porn.

[mangadooza]

Women should be grateful for porn -- its proliferation with the rise of the Internet has stopped many from cheating on their wives with real women.

[oldnemesis]

(08-08-2010 05:00 AM)thekiller Wrote:  

Porn is much like alcohol, a little in moderation probably doesn't hurt anything. But honestly, porn doesn't bring a lot of value to the table, it's not real, it sets up false expectations and ideas.

Porn brings as much value, and should set as much expectations as "Sex in the city", "Titanic" or any other scripted movie - and it should set no expectations for a grown up adult. If one is so stupid to believe that things must happen in the real life exactly as they're on a wide screen, they need to grow up and get a reality check.

Quote:

A lot of guys are WAY too into it. You'd be better off going to the beach, mall, or even a strip club to ogle real girls.

Didn't understand that. Beach is fine, but mall? I hate malls, I'd rather jerk off to porn than go to mall. And strip clubs are complete waste of time and money here in CA, because they're not even allowed to serve alcohol there, and the girls are rather ugly.

Quote:

Now if these guys were watching Asian porn maybe a case could be made that they're missing the femininity of a real woman, which most American Women lack. But this guys are probably watching the usual lame Westernized barbie doll stuff.

IMHO most guys watch porn to get off. I do not know anyone who actually watches porn the way you watch regular movie. So it doesn't really matter.

[Kona]

(08-08-2010 05:00 AM)thekiller Wrote:  

Now if these guys were watching Asian porn maybe a case could be made that they're missing the femininity of a real woman, which most American Women lack. But this guys are probably watching the usual lame Westernized barbie doll stuff.

That's a good line by thekiller. If you're watching too much porno and it gets to be a problem, try switching to Asian porn. That's good thinking.

Aloha!

[Vacancier Permanent]

Is there really a difference between Western porn and Asian porn? If yes, what's the difference?
As to the topic of marrying American girls, one needs to be extremely careful. Much much better sticking to foreign women than Americans from what I hear from my friends and read everywhere.

[wolf]

The problem of bringing a foreign woman to this country is she is going to get Americanized and she might even be worse than an American woman in this country. No matter how nice or cool she is to you in her country that might all change if she lives a couple of years in America.

[MiXX]

(08-08-2010 10:10 PM)wolf Wrote:  

The problem of bringing a foreign woman to this country is she is going to get Americanized and she might even be worse than an American woman in this country. No matter how nice or cool she is to you in her country that might all change if she lives a couple of years in America.

This is actually very true. I have witnessed many of my buddies bring foreign brides to America only to be at the receiving end of latina jealousy, neediness, insecurities and ultimately, adultery.

if you meet a beautiful woman in a foreign country who takes care of you like a King, why give up your winning hand? Keep her there, where she will always compete for you among other eager women ready to scoop you up the moment she turns her back.

Mixx

[wolf]

(08-09-2010 12:40 PM)MiXXmaster27 Wrote:  

(08-08-2010 10:10 PM)wolf Wrote:  

The problem of bringing a foreign woman to this country is she is going to get Americanized and she might even be worse than an American woman in this country. No matter how nice or cool she is to you in her country that might all change if she lives a couple of years in America.

This is actually very true. I have witnessed many of my buddies bring foreign brides to America only to be at the receiving end of latina jealousy, neediness, insecurities and ultimately, adultery.

if you meet a beautiful woman in a foreign country who takes care of you like a King, why give up your winning hand? Keep her there, where she will always compete for you among other eager women ready to scoop you up the moment she turns her back.

Mixx

The problem with that is how do I stay in that country with her. I see no point in marrying a foreign wife and her staying over there while I work in US. I also see no point in bringing her here for the reasons I mentioned above. The solution would be to stay in her country but the problem with that is the only reason she has good values like that is because she lives in a developing country. There is no jobs there for me. We can't live on love.

[Lumiere]

Solution? Live there and work online for a western company or land an expat role paying western wages in the country in question.

[MiXX]

(08-09-2010 01:58 PM)wolf Wrote:  

(08-09-2010 12:40 PM)MiXXmaster27 Wrote:  

(08-08-2010 10:10 PM)wolf Wrote:  

The problem of bringing a foreign woman to this country is she is going to get Americanized and she might even be worse than an American woman in this country. No matter how nice or cool she is to you in her country that might all change if she lives a couple of years in America.

This is actually very true. I have witnessed many of my buddies bring foreign brides to America only to be at the receiving end of latina jealousy, neediness, insecurities and ultimately, adultery.

if you meet a beautiful woman in a foreign country who takes care of you like a King, why give up your winning hand? Keep her there, where she will always compete for you among other eager women ready to scoop you up the moment she turns her back.

Mixx

The problem with that is how do I stay in that country with her. I see no point in marrying a foreign wife and her staying over there while I work in US. I also see no point in bringing her here for the reasons I mentioned above. The solution would be to stay in her country but the problem with that is the only reason she has good values like that is because she lives in a developing country. There is no jobs there for me. We can't live on love.

Exactly. I don't know how old you are, but I have worked the past 20 years building a healthy financial portfolio so that I can eventually leave the US and live in a developing country where women chase me and fight over me.

Unless you can work remotely in some sort of technology field where internet is all you nee to remote connect into your desktop office, using something like Citrix software or gotomeeting.com, you're stuck compadre...welcome to the club.

Mixx

[oldnemesis]

(08-08-2010 06:58 PM)Vacancier Permanent Wrote:  

Is there really a difference between Western porn and Asian porn? If yes, what's the difference?

There are some:

- Asian gay porn looks somehow more weird than western gay porn;

- A lot of Asian porn (esp Japanese) involves non-consent/rape fantasies;

- Hentai is something you cannot compare with any Western porn;

[hydrogonian]

(08-09-2010 01:58 PM)wolf Wrote:  

(08-09-2010 12:40 PM)MiXXmaster27 Wrote:  

(08-08-2010 10:10 PM)wolf Wrote:  

The problem of bringing a foreign woman to this country is she is going to get Americanized and she might even be worse than an American woman in this country. No matter how nice or cool she is to you in her country that might all change if she lives a couple of years in America.

This is actually very true. I have witnessed many of my buddies bring foreign brides to America only to be at the receiving end of latina jealousy, neediness, insecurities and ultimately, adultery.

if you meet a beautiful woman in a foreign country who takes care of you like a King, why give up your winning hand? Keep her there, where she will always compete for you among other eager women ready to scoop you up the moment she turns her back.

Mixx

The problem with that is how do I stay in that country with her. I see no point in marrying a foreign wife and her staying over there while I work in US. I also see no point in bringing her here for the reasons I mentioned above. The solution would be to stay in her country but the problem with that is the only reason she has good values like that is because she lives in a developing country. There is no jobs there for me. We can't live on love.

What country? You can usually always teach english. Some countries require a degree, but many do not. Teaching english is actually a good profession, relative to a lot of other things people do for money. You just wont build much of a savings or pension. But people in developing countries, I assume, rarely do that anyway. If you want the benefits of the developing country, just resign yourself to living like they do. No problem. As a matter of fact, you will likely live better than the average local on an ESL salary, even if its low by western standards.

[oldnemesis]

(08-08-2010 10:10 PM)wolf Wrote:  

The problem of bringing a foreign woman to this country is she is going to get Americanized and she might even be worse than an American woman in this country.

It heavily depends on a woman, and on a man who brings her here. I have seen both cases where it happened as described, and when it didn't happen at all. Seems like the less American women you hang out with (and consequently your wife would be exposed to), the better the chance is it won't happen.

[eidoos77]

(08-08-2010 11:26 AM)hydrogonian Wrote:  

Most women that I know, intimately, like watching porn.

Most women that I know, intimately, like watching porn. And the reason for that is because it makes them horney. So we all love women who are horney so let them watch porn, turn that green light on and go for it. Eidoos77.

[wolf]

(08-09-2010 02:14 PM)MiXXmaster27 Wrote:  

(08-09-2010 01:58 PM)wolf Wrote:  

(08-09-2010 12:40 PM)MiXXmaster27 Wrote:  

(08-08-2010 10:10 PM)wolf Wrote:  

The problem of bringing a foreign woman to this country is she is going to get Americanized and she might even be worse than an American woman in this country. No matter how nice or cool she is to you in her country that might all change if she lives a couple of years in America.

This is actually very true. I have witnessed many of my buddies bring foreign brides to America only to be at the receiving end of latina jealousy, neediness, insecurities and ultimately, adultery.

if you meet a beautiful woman in a foreign country who takes care of you like a King, why give up your winning hand? Keep her there, where she will always compete for you among other eager women ready to scoop you up the moment she turns her back.

Mixx

The problem with that is how do I stay in that country with her. I see no point in marrying a foreign wife and her staying over there while I work in US. I also see no point in bringing her here for the reasons I mentioned above. The solution would be to stay in her country but the problem with that is the only reason she has good values like that is because she lives in a developing country. There is no jobs there for me. We can't live on love.

Exactly. I don't know how old you are, but I have worked the past 20 years building a healthy financial portfolio so that I can eventually leave the US and live in a developing country where women chase me and fight over me.

Unless you can work remotely in some sort of technology field where internet is all you nee to remote connect into your desktop office, using something like Citrix software or gotomeeting.com, you're stuck compadre...welcome to the club.

Mixx

I thought of that and it looks like I'll just have to resort to saving money and retiring early and moving to a developing country. My plan is of course start looking for jobs internationally when I graduate then over here in the US. Starting a new life and a new career is a good way to kill 2 birds with one stone.

[thekiller]

(08-08-2010 06:45 PM)oldnemesis Wrote:  

(08-08-2010 05:00 AM)thekiller Wrote:  

Porn is much like alcohol, a little in moderation probably doesn't hurt anything. But honestly, porn doesn't bring a lot of value to the table, it's not real, it sets up false expectations and ideas.

Porn brings as much value, and should set as much expectations as "Sex in the city", "Titanic" or any other scripted movie - and it should set no expectations for a grown up adult. If one is so stupid to believe that things must happen in the real life exactly as they're on a wide screen, they need to grow up and get a reality check.

Quote:

A lot of guys are WAY too into it. You'd be better off going to the beach, mall, or even a strip club to ogle real girls.

Didn't understand that. Beach is fine, but mall? I hate malls, I'd rather jerk off to porn than go to mall. And strip clubs are complete waste of time and money here in CA, because they're not even allowed to serve alcohol there, and the girls are rather ugly.

Quote:

Now if these guys were watching Asian porn maybe a case could be made that they're missing the femininity of a real woman, which most American Women lack. But this guys are probably watching the usual lame Westernized barbie doll stuff.

IMHO most guys watch porn to get off. I do not know anyone who actually watches porn the way you watch regular movie. So it doesn't really matter.

Constant bombardment of any media message will influence you(even subtly) over time regardless of your critical thinking of it.
My point was that guys who spend a ton of time with porn would be better served to go see and interact with REAL women at a beach, mall, even a strip club as the women are REAL. Therefor, their chances of having sex with a REAL woman improves.
If your watching porn with your girl and it leads to sex I'd say it was well utilized in that case.

And Kona while I was being snarky about Asian Porn the women in it do seem less "plastic" than the Western ones.

[AlphaQup2nite]

Its funny how most asian girls i meet are very open about porn, ive even started a female only and me porn swap every few weeks here in china of all places.

[Mrs. Chocolate]

Porn its porn, sex is sex.
What is the big deal if he likes? Just don't forget about her, keep giving her attention and life goes on...

[IshGibbor]

I am not morally opposed to porn but I stopped viewing mainly because it is not real and all fantasy (the same reason I quit watching professional wrestling).

The women on that thread with an issue with it suffer from low self esteem in my book. Only when his viewing of porn (or any other behavior that borderlines on addiction) interferes with his daily life should one have a cause for alarm.

[MiXX]

I usually watch pornhub.com right before getting on a plane or the night before a trip to South America. Mostly to see if there are any new sex positions I'd like to try out.

Mixx

[Badstuber]

findtubes.com is better, its like the google of pr0n. just saying, lol.

[hydrogonian]

(08-15-2010 10:24 PM)AlphaQup2nite Wrote:  

Its funny how most asian girls i meet are very open about porn, ive even started a female only and me porn swap every few weeks here in china of all places.

lol...awesome idea. Just don't get busted for undermining the morality of the People's Republic, or something like that.

On a related topic:

AlphaQup2nite's porn swap is a great example, for the younger guys, of how all normal women are as horny, or more horny, than guys. You just need to communicate that its no big deal (as in you are completely comfortable and non-judgmental) to get them to completely open up to talking with you about it, or even participating in a porn swap with you. Once they will talk about sex, their needs, or even their pussy with you, its literally no effort to fuck them. Talking about sex is the great game equalizer, and, on average, will land you more hot girls than any other method. This is especially true if you are in any way average or below average in looks yourself.

I don't mean that you just make a comment about their body or sex to them. You need to illicit their opinions and get them talking about it in a perfectly natural and comfortable way.