[Arcais]

Hey all,

I just haven't been able to get the hang of being in a relationship with a girl. Everything I do is wrong and pushes the girl away further. Today my girlfriend broke up with me and I have come to ask for advice on how to keep a girl around.

A little backstory:

Her and I have been dating off and on for a year now and have been in a loyal relationship. When we were together last year we were cheating on each other and broke up for a few months. We just recently got back together in April and things were going great until just today. She told me she loved me and I loved her very much. Today I caught her talking to her ex boyfriend who lives on the other side of the country who she cheated on me with. I got the feeling that she was going to see him next month when she goes to vacation in Dominican Republic (where they met while her and I were together). I got upset and left her house without saying much of a word to her and drove off. She told me we could have worked things out and that I should have manned up and talked with her about it because it was nothing. But now she says that I blew it with her and we could have been together if I didn't leave the house and actually talked with her.

She said she wasn't going to get with him (He doesn't love her and isn't going to go back to her because she cheated on him). I got upset and suspected something was off so I just left. Then she said the most horrible things about me and told me never to call me again all because I didn't "Man up" and talk with her about it. So I blew the relationship. I've been chasing this girl a year and really love her but she told me I was a coward for leaving instead of talking things out with her and her telling me that talking to him was no threat to me because she loves me and has been sleeping with me for the past couple months, we spend everyday together.

She basically told me I fucked things up because she loves me and I just walked out at the slightest notion that she was talking to another guy.

So I'm really upset and feel like shit. She told me to never talk to her again or she will call the police.

TLDR: Girlfriend broke up with me, I'm upset and feel like dying.

[FourToTheFloor]

She's manipulating you.

You walked out when you found out that she was in contact with a man she had previously cheated on you with before. If she truly loved you, she would have completely cut communication with this guy. You did the right thing. Its her responsibility to make things right, not your responsibility to confront her.

Ignore the "man up" nonsense. Women use "man up" to get them to do things they don't want to do.

Real men do whatever the fuck they want. Walking out sent a clear message.

[Matt3B]

(06-08-2013 04:19 PM)FourToTheFloor Wrote:  

Ignore the "man up" nonsense. Women use "man up" to get them to do things they don't want to do.

Real talk.

She's not expecting you to freeze her out now. Don't contact her, don't do anything to get in touch with her or show her you're missing her or upset (Facebook statuses/tweets/etc).

Her little hamster will start spinning thinking "why's he not contacted me?"

[TheSlayer]

To me this feels like a case of one-itis.

(06-08-2013 04:06 PM)Arcais Wrote:  

I've been chasing this girl a year and really love her but she told me I was a coward for leaving instead of talking things out with her and her telling me that talking to him was no threat to me because she loves me and has been sleeping with me for the past couple months, we spend everyday together.

A couple of things stand out:

(06-08-2013 04:06 PM)Arcais Wrote:  

When we were together last year we were cheating on each other and broke up for a few months.

(06-08-2013 04:06 PM)Arcais Wrote:  

She said she wasn't going to get with him (He doesn't love her and isn't going to go back to her because she cheated on him).

So she cheated on you while you were cheating on her and she cheated on her ex-bf. At what point do you realize that the girl is a slut and not somebody to be with. I am not trying to be harsh but why did you even get back with her in the first place when you two cheated on each other?

This girl obviously has a history of cheating. Everything else is irrelevant. What makes you think she won't cheat on you again even if you get her back? Forget her and move on. You have this forum available to you, make good use of it and get better with women in general.

[TheSlayer]

Mods, please delete. Double post.

[Kickb]

For future reference, try to be more like this guy.

I know its a video, but You need to make your girlfriends mad.

That whole story should be reversed, by the way. You should be going out of town to the DR, getting grilled about cheating, and telling her it could have worked out if she hadnt driven off in anger.

At this point, you are the girl in the relationship. so stop caring so much about trying to stay together.

Plus, who cares if she is a cheating slut. Is that poosy still good? Thats all i care about. Are you trying to marry this girl? Probably not. So stop caring and find a new girl.

[Arcais]

Thanks for the good advice. I was trying to make sense of it all but your perspectives helped me realize she is a slut and was trying to shame me for walking away. I just wish I could have been with her longer she was the best fuck of my life.

[el mechanico]

I'm going to give you some advice.. If your girls phone behavior is pissing you off you take her phone and throw it outside as far as you can. No matter what she has to say about it stand tall and never be afraid of her or her leaving you.

Disrespect should be punished un remorsefully. Stand your ground tell her to fuck off with bullshit. If it implodes so be it but you always stand tall.

[el mechanico]

Jealousy and sadness is for the weak. Putting people in their place and dealing with consequences is a mans world. Live it and you won't have to worry about women cheating on you anymore.

[GenJx]

you give up on what? on life? some girl you've dated off and on for a year breaks up with you and you feel like dieing. your living life for a girl?

man up and do something with your life. make something of yourself. you should have other things going for you in life other than one girl. dont be a beta little bitch

it has nothing to do with if shes a slut or not, this goes deeper than that

[anamericaninbangkok]

Get rid of the bitch and find one you can trust not to slut around on you. Not an easy task but so what? Have fun with your life and put a lower premium on a woman. YOU CARE TOO FUCKING MUCH.

The chick in that video is a piss-poor actress. But still a funny clip.

[Brodiaga]

Don't give up man. Life is good. If the bitch makes you feel like shit, just dump her. There's so much fun out there.

[Veloce]

Arcais, how old are you?

I'm sure many of us have been in your shoes. I know I have. All I can say is, with enough gaming and experience, you'll reach a point where girls cease to make you sad. You'll be past that point.

If you give up on anything, just give up on your expectations of women. But don't give up fucking them or chasing them.

All guys have a "favorite". Shit, I had a dream about mine last night. She was a shitty girlfriend, but she had a perfect bubblebutt and her pussy felt amazing and it was always wet. She was a huge slut and she let me do everything to her. I eventually broke it off because of what a shitty girlfriend she was and even to this day I sometimes have moments of regret. The pussy was that good.

But now I've got a girl that worships the ground I walk on, and gives better head. Sex is great with her too. Lots of girls are gonna have something they specialize in. A perfect ass. A hot face. Great chemistry. Loves anal. Deepthroat. Great cook. Does your laundry. Wears a perfume you like. But you're not gonna get everything in one package. You gotta let a few things go and look forward to something different.

This girl might be the best fuck you've ever had, but you know what? That's not everything. Especially when you get older. You'll look back fondly on this chick but there are other great fucks out there and girls that will treat you 1000 times better. The only way you'll find them is to hit the street and start approaching.

[Arcais]

(06-08-2013 09:29 PM)thedude3737 Wrote:  

Arcais, how old are you?

I'm sure many of us have been in your shoes. I know I have. All I can say is, with enough gaming and experience, you'll reach a point where girls cease to make you sad. You'll be past that point.

If you give up on anything, just give up on your expectations of women. But don't give up fucking them or chasing them.

All guys have a "favorite". Shit, I had a dream about mine last night. She was a shitty girlfriend, but she had a perfect bubblebutt and her pussy felt amazing and it was always wet. She was a huge slut and she let me do everything to her. I eventually broke it off because of what a shitty girlfriend she was and even to this day I sometimes have moments of regret. The pussy was that good.

But now I've got a girl that worships the ground I walk on, and gives better head. Sex is great with her too. Lots of girls are gonna have something they specialize in. A perfect ass. A hot face. Great chemistry. Loves anal. Deepthroat. Great cook. Does your laundry. Wears a perfume you like. But you're not gonna get everything in one package. You gotta let a few things go and look forward to something different.

This girl might be the best fuck you've ever had, but you know what? That's not everything. Especially when you get older. You'll look back fondly on this chick but there are other great fucks out there and girls that will treat you 1000 times better. The only way you'll find them is to hit the street and start approaching.

Yeah she was one of the best fucks I ever had. I'm 23 and all of my relationships just last a few months before it blows up. I'm not worried about finding another girl. I just loved her very much even though things weren't always right between us.

[GenJx]

arcais, on another thread you wrote

Quote:

I've really failed a lot in life.

I've failed with women and I've failed career wise.

I know that these things aren't permanent but I need to get back up on the upward spiral when I was doing really well in life.

I'm facing a few felonies and my lawyer said I might have to go to jail for 10 years.

I'm just so sad and none of my friends really can see that I'm hurt.

get your life in order and regain that confidence. forget about this girl or women in general until you take care of these bigger problems. then get back to gaming.

right now when your in a relationship you feel like its the only thing going for you so when it blows up you feel like shit. make it so you have other things going for you and dont worry about relationships until then

[Atilla]

(06-08-2013 04:06 PM)Arcais Wrote:  

I just haven't been able to get the hang of being in a relationship with a girl. Everything I do is wrong and pushes the girl away further. Today my girlfriend broke up with me and I have come to ask for advice on how to keep a girl around.

Have you tried treating girls like crap?

[SirAntony]

There are too many nice girls out there, you don't have to deal with this crap, is not only not good for this relationship, but with everything in life, drains your energy. Forget about it, the less complications in your life the better. Many other girls will be more than happy to go out with you once you recover your energy.

Cheers!!!!

[pitt]

You are caring way too much.

Next time, dont treat her as if she was special. And never, ever fall in love with a woman who has a cheated on you. Actually never fall in love.

Tell her to fuck off and move on.

Aim for abundance. If you had lots of girls on your radar, you wouldn't be feeling like that.

[Beyond Borders]

She sounds pretty worthless. You're better off without her.

It sounds like you've got a lot to work on in your life though too, Man. Find some positive focus.

I know a girl, or at least a vagina, seems like a positive focus, but it's a moving target. You can't control a moving target. You can only control yourself.

Focusing on getting better with women in general, now - that's a positive focus that only depends on you.

[Veloce]

(06-09-2013 01:14 AM)Arcais Wrote:  

Yeah she was one of the best fucks I ever had. I'm 23 and all of my relationships just last a few months before it blows up. I'm not worried about finding another girl. I just loved her very much even though things weren't always right between us.

Yeah, when I was 23 I'd been in love twice and was with a shitty girlfriend.

All I can say is you're lucky you found this forum at your current age. Life gets a LOT better from here on out. I'd give anything to be 23 again knowing what I know now. I literally mean that: I would give up my car, apartment, guitars, savings, and everything I've amassed to be a broke-ass 23 year old again.

If you loved her, then finding another chick probably won't help much. Just go through the motions, let the pain pass, and try to hit the gym as much as possible. Cry in your pillow, pound a few beers, do whatever you gotta do, but you'll get over it. One day you'll wake up and realize she's in your past, and you'll feel like a million bucks that day.

At your age, you shouldn't be pursuing relationships with women, nothing serious anyway. It's okay to have a girlfriend, as long as you cheat on her and keep a few of them in rotation. Your goal should be at least 3 women in your life who fight for your attention, who compete to be your number 1, who are calling you weekly asking you what's a good day they can bring you lunch.

[scorpion]

I can't believe that no one has mentioned this yet, but the fact that she was so quick to end the relationship over that incident is a huge red flag. It means she was almost certainly planning on cheating on you with her ex and that she had already emotionally checked out of the relationship. She simply used that as an excuse to break things off. Telling you to "man up", calling you a coward and to never talk to her again with the threat of involving the police is not what a girl with any sort of emotional attachment would do.

This girl sounds like a grade-A cunt and manipulator. While you're sitting around feeling like shit, she's laughing with her ex about how she clowned you. A girl who was actually in love with you would never be so quick to end the relationship simply because you suspected she was cheating and you left her place. If she had deep feelings for you she would have chased after you and made every effort to prove that she wasn't doing anything wrong.

[NewGamer]

As a 23 year old, the bolded part is exactly what I'm working towards. Serious "girlfriends" and relationships are for your late 20s and 30s. For now, don't fall in "love" and fuck around, approach chicks everywhere, sleep with as many girls as you can and build a harem. Lather, rinse, repeat till your early 30s.

(06-09-2013 01:38 PM)thedude3737 Wrote:  

(06-09-2013 01:14 AM)Arcais Wrote:  

Yeah she was one of the best fucks I ever had. I'm 23 and all of my relationships just last a few months before it blows up. I'm not worried about finding another girl. I just loved her very much even though things weren't always right between us.

Yeah, when I was 23 I'd been in love twice and was with a shitty girlfriend.

All I can say is you're lucky you found this forum at your current age. Life gets a LOT better from here on out. I'd give anything to be 23 again knowing what I know now. I literally mean that: I would give up my car, apartment, guitars, savings, and everything I've amassed to be a broke-ass 23 year old again.

If you loved her, then finding another chick probably won't help much. Just go through the motions, let the pain pass, and try to hit the gym as much as possible. Cry in your pillow, pound a few beers, do whatever you gotta do, but you'll get over it. One day you'll wake up and realize she's in your past, and you'll feel like a million bucks that day.

At your age, you shouldn't be pursuing relationships with women, nothing serious anyway. It's okay to have a girlfriend, as long as you cheat on her and keep a few of them in rotation. Your goal should be at least 3 women in your life who fight for your attention, who compete to be your number 1, who are calling you weekly asking you what's a good day they can bring you lunch.

[Spider]

A lot of us I'm sure have been through similar situations.

My story was pretty similar to yours - you need to realize that she is a manipulative cheating ho.

If she really cared about you, she wouldn't give you ultimatums or tell you how to behave.

You need to cut off contact with this girl, and learn to reverse your role and assume a position of power in your future relationships, wether they are serious LTRs or even casual relationships with girls.

Keep your head up

[esperar]

Trying to please women has never worked for me. Trying to please a woman is like trying to fill a bucket with a hole in it. Don't even bother.

[Arcais]

(06-09-2013 01:28 AM)GenJx Wrote:  

arcais, on another thread you wrote

Quote:

I've really failed a lot in life.

I've failed with women and I've failed career wise.

I know that these things aren't permanent but I need to get back up on the upward spiral when I was doing really well in life.

I'm facing a few felonies and my lawyer said I might have to go to jail for 10 years.

I'm just so sad and none of my friends really can see that I'm hurt.

get your life in order and regain that confidence. forget about this girl or women in general until you take care of these bigger problems. then get back to gaming.

right now when your in a relationship you feel like its the only thing going for you so when it blows up you feel like shit. make it so you have other things going for you and dont worry about relationships until then

I'm out of trouble and have a good job now. I don't have tons of money but I'm on my way to a good career. I work for a local union. I just met up with her today and she was crying asking why I left her place and said she doesn't think she can be with me. She said i blew it with her. We spent the whole evening talking and she came over to my house and cried a lot and then left. She told me we could be together in the future but just not right now. She also told me that she has still been talking to her ex boyfriend who lives in New Jersey because she just got out of a relationship with him when we got together. She was cheating on him with me. I have a feeling now that she is mnipulating me but she said she had a lot of hope for us as a relationship and that I ruined it all by leaving and not talking with her about it. She said she wanted to spend that day with me and I just bounced from her pad and left.

I'm hoping to get back together with her if she isn't using me as a shoulder to cry on everyday. She said all the men just "leave" her in her life, like her dad, myself, the other guy from New Jersey.

I just don't want to be her emotional tampon. I really love her, but she doesn't say it back when I say it to her.

Time to throw in the towel. I can't keep comforting her if she tells me she hates me and thinks i'm "SO STUPID" because I can't see how I left her and walked out on her.