[adrian_D]

The other night, a girl asked me if I was in a relationship. Because I don't wish to be in a relationship but rather want (and granted, not necessarily easily achieveable) to have a few on going multiple relationships I got myself in knots trying to answer her question as smoothly as I perhaps could have done.

Anyone here got the right way to answer this question?

Cheers, AD

[Badstuber]

"No, but I do fuck 4 times a week."

[speakeasy]

"Nothing too serious at the moment"

[Mrs. Chocolate]

This is none of your business. (in a polite way if I'm a good mood, or just like that when the guy asks in a rude way).
You are not my BF and most of time you don't intend to be. So, don't come around with those shit men tests to see if you have "competitors" or to see if I am need enough to run around you like a puppy does.

[Sketness]

"Its complicated" and if she ask more about it just change the subject

[Dash Global]

simple answer is "no".

also nothing serious at the moment. just causal dating.

[Nonpareil]

(07-14-2010 05:21 PM)Mrs. Chocolate Wrote:  

This is none of your business. (in a polite way if I'm a good mood, or just like that when the guy asks in a rude way).
You are not my BF and most of time you don't intend to be. So, don't come around with those shit men tests to see if you have "competitors" or to see if I am need enough to run around you like a puppy does.

'Shit men tests'? Hahahahahaha!

Would all the men in the room who care if a girl has a boyfriend raise your hands?

Look at that, not a single hand raised...One of the key areas men and women differ is that if men know they won't like the answer to a certain question, we won't bother asking it.

Someone posted 'It's complicated'. That, and any slight variations of that, are the correct answer; say it with me people, ambiguity and mystery*.

The only wrong answer to this question are 'yes' and 'no'.

'Yes' fails because women are slaves to their images, and while sleeping with a guy she merely suspects (but can't confirm) has a girlfriend is not a problem, sleeping with a guy she knows has a girlfriend makes her feel bad about herself.

'No' fails because...[internal female monoloue]'This guy isn't even seeing anyone, he's not even going to humor me? What the fuck is wrong with him? I think I'll go now...'[/internal female monologue]

* - Does anyone else think 'Ambiguity' would have been a better PUA name than 'Mystery'?

[Lumiere]

Yeah i have lots of girlfriends.

Why, want to be one? Well there is a waiting list right now but i can let you have an application form

[hepsas]

Acceptable answers are "no," "nothing serious," "it's complicated," and "eh... not really." The latter three only if you've at least been on a date recently. If you're in a serious open relationship, the acceptable answers become "yes" and "I'm in an open relationship," depending on the situation. A short speech on the merits of polyamory is acceptable only if you know what you're doing. It has to sound sincere, not like you're feeding her a line.

To the guys recommending telling her what an awesome player you are, I'd love to hear about the time this actually got you laid. (Doing it in a joking way, maybe, but I still don't think that's the smart move.)

Now for what I think may be most useful to the OP: You're worrying about too much too soon. Just because you want multiple relationships doesn't mean you need to tell this to a girl right away. Sleeping with a girl on the first date does not constitute a promise to be her boyfriend. Address the issue only when it comes up. To quote Tenmagnet:

Quote:

On television, it always works like this: women are dying for relationships, and guys are afraid to commit. But guess what…. It’s the opposite. In the vast majority of situations, it is guys who scare women away by being too clingy. For 90% of women (under 30), the only kind of commitment they want from you is a commitment to hang out with them again, call them in the morning and not be a complete dick.

[Mrs. Chocolate]

(07-14-2010 10:28 PM)Nonpareil Wrote:  

(07-14-2010 05:21 PM)Mrs. Chocolate Wrote:  

This is none of your business. (in a polite way if I'm a good mood, or just like that when the guy asks in a rude way).
You are not my BF and most of time you don't intend to be. So, don't come around with those shit men tests to see if you have "competitors" or to see if I am need enough to run around you like a puppy does.

'Shit men tests'? Hahahahahaha!

Would all the men in the room who care if a girl has a boyfriend raise your hands?

Look at that, not a single hand raised...One of the key areas men and women differ is that if men know they won't like the answer to a certain question, we won't bother asking it.

Someone posted 'It's complicated'. That, and any slight variations of that, are the correct answer; say it with me people, ambiguity and mystery*.

The only wrong answer to this question are 'yes' and 'no'.

'Yes' fails because women are slaves to their images, and while sleeping with a guy she merely suspects (but can't confirm) has a girlfriend is not a problem, sleeping with a guy she knows has a girlfriend makes her feel bad about herself.

'No' fails because...[internal female monoloue]'This guy isn't even seeing anyone, he's not even going to humor me? What the fuck is wrong with him? I think I'll go now...'[/internal female monologue]

* - Does anyone else think 'Ambiguity' would have been a better PUA name than 'Mystery'?

You don't know men around here.
Sometimes I change subject and say: Maybe... and move on.

[oldnemesis]

What about "why are you asking, are you trying to find a boyfriend or what?"

[Mrs. Chocolate]

(07-15-2010 05:31 PM)oldnemesis Wrote:  

What about "why are you asking, are you trying to find a boyfriend or what?"

Ummmm... No.

Too direct. Direct answers don't work in those cases.

[metalhaze]

as roissy put it , just tell her "it's complicated" with a straight face.

[Willy Wonka]

I like the "it's complicated" here as well....

But, what if the girl phrases the question differently... like, "so, why don't you have a girlfriend?" It's more assuming, but she's still fishing for information. How would y'all answer that? It's a bit different of a question....

[lilactag]

I answer: " i am currently in 3, are you willing to become my 4th?"

[Mrs. Chocolate]

I answer: That is the one million dollar question (gentle smirk) and move on.

[oldnemesis]

(07-18-2010 05:20 PM)Mrs. Chocolate Wrote:  

Ummmm... No.
Too direct. Direct answers don't work in those cases.

Why are you saying they do not work? In my experience they worked really well.

[Mrs. Chocolate]

(07-21-2010 05:40 PM)oldnemesis Wrote:  

(07-18-2010 05:20 PM)Mrs. Chocolate Wrote:  

Ummmm... No.
Too direct. Direct answers don't work in those cases.

Why are you saying they do not work? In my experience they worked really well.

Because the girl may be feel ofended.

[eidoos77]

(07-14-2010 10:55 AM)adrian_D Wrote:  

The other night, a girl asked me if I was in a relationship. Because I don't wish to be in a relationship but rather want (and granted, not necessarily easily achieveable) to have a few on going multiple relationships I got myself in knots trying to answer her question as smoothly as I perhaps could have done.

Anyone here got the right way to answer this question?

Cheers, AD

There is no right or wrong answer it just depends on where the woman is at determines the proper answer. You just need to follow the womans lead. It will work out. Eidoos77.

[oldnemesis]

(07-22-2010 06:15 PM)Mrs. Chocolate Wrote:  

Because the girl may be feel ofended.

Well, then it's her problem.

[Mrs. Chocolate]

May be yours when you stay without your notche.

[oldnemesis]

(07-23-2010 10:19 AM)Mrs. Chocolate Wrote:  

May be yours when you stay without your notche.

Not a big deal either, a value of a notch here in US to me is very low. This also means I do not give shit if someone gets offended by what I say. Basically while in US I stopped playing games and pretending anything several years ago, and while my notch count went down significantly, I'm having much more fun with my life. Lack of motivation kills every desire to improve, making all that stuff less important than other things in your life.