[MrXY]

Last Minute Resistance. That frustrating experience when you've managed to isolate a girl who seems attracted to you, and yet once you get her alone she resolutely refuses sexual contact beyond kissing and groping. Every player experiences this on occasion, but this post is addressed to guys who are having this occur with regularity. By LMR, I am not referring to "token resistance" which is common and expected, such as the classic "We're not having sex tonight" or the girl trying to slow down the pace of the escalation a bit; these are a part of the mating ritual which girls often feel compelled to exhibit in order to preserve a bit of their "honor" and shift the responsibility for sex onto the male.

Real LMR is a serious reluctance by a woman to have sex; it can be overcome sometimes but in my view it's better to avoid it arising in the first place. At my age and notch count, I just "can't be arsed" as the British would say to deal with it as I once did, plus we live in the age of the false rape allegation which requires caution. So I've figured out the roots of LMR and that has cut the incidence of it down drastically for me.

Often on the forum I've seen players detailing LMR that occurred and asking for some technique to overcome it, when the truth is that the LMR is the result of mistakes or deficiencies from hours, days, or months before, and there is no "one weird trick" that is going to help them at that point. So, if you're a beginner or intermediate player who is getting real LMR more than about 15% of the time correcting these problems will help you.

Poor Screening

If you want quick sex from girls, it's common sense to avoid going after girls who are sexually inexperienced or conservative, yet it seems that a lot of guys want girls with the fabled 'low notch count" but expect to be able to bang them the first or second time they are together. Stop working at cross purposes with yourself. If you want a sweet, relatively unsoiled girl that's fine, but be willing to invest more time and effort into her and ramp up the sexual interaction over a period of weeks.

But if you want to bang a new girl tonight,you need to be looking for a slut. By definition, sluts and love to fuck are open to banging a new guy without a lot of preliminaries. So learn how to recognize sluts and actively screen girls for sluthood. We have a couple of excellent threads here on the subject that are essential reading:thread-12219...light=slut and thread-27720...light=slut. Knowing the slut signs from memory are part of the players basic toolbox. Learning how to recognize sexually enthusiastic girls both visually and from interacting with them will greatly decrease your incidence of LMR.

The Dr Jekyll/Mr Hyde Syndrome

This is a problem I've heard about from many women, but it doesn't get self reported by guys because I don't think they even know they are doing it. What I'm referring to is presenting one personality to the girl in public, and a different one in private. In public, the player, probably more than he realizes, come across as Mr Nice Guy, or The Beta Provider or Entertainment Monkey, and the girl enjoys his company and is somewhat attracted to him, enough to go hang out in a private place with him, but she is not viscerally aroused and craving sex with him. Maybe she is willing to make out with him but nothing further at this point. When in private, though, he gets more aggressive than she had anticipated given the way he previously presented himself, and goes outside the bounds of her expectations. Thus, resistance to sex.

You need to be congruent. Your body language, dress , speech and the whole manner in which you interact with girls should give off a player vibe.You should come across as a man who expects, goes for, and receives sex quickly and frequently. Understand that girls put men into three categories: Unbangable, Possible Boyfriend Material, and Player. You want to be in the Player box from the first impression, so that the girl will understand that if she isolates herself with you, that you will try to have sex with her with speed and authority. That way, she is fully informed of the situation and can choose to take the dick you are offering or decline and bail out from the interaction while still in public.

Your Sexual Market Value isn't high enough

Girls have sex quickly with those males that activate their instincts to mate with a high status male in order to receive his genes and protection. If she likes you, but you don't fire up the primal part of her brain that is directly connected to her vagina, she will go into "sex for resources" mode. Even the biggest sluts are selective about who they bang-mostly high status males. When a girl goes out and is open to a SNL, she isn't looking for the average schlub, she wants a man who is above her in status. If she's going to mate with a male without expecting resources in return, she at least wants one with the appearance of having good genes.

You will greatly reduce LMR if you make yourself into a more desirable man. Build muscle and lose fat. Dress better and sexier. Improve your social skills and develop charisma. Demonstrate preselection and social status. Strengthen your Inner Game so that you are more confident and bolder. The more your impress a girl as being high value, the more her instincts drive her to mate with you before another female steals you away.

Personally, I don' t put up with any LMR anymore, with the rare exception of a girl I think is high quality and would like to consider as an LTR candidate. In that case, she wouldn't be in the slut category anyway and I would like her to consider me boyfriend material, so taking it slow is acceptable. Generally though, if a girl isn't enthusiastic and making it easy on me, I will end the interaction right there. The last time I engaged in one of those hours-long efforts to get a girls clothes off was years ago and I never will again. Fortunately, by following the principles above, I've managed to get my incidence of serious LMR to below 10%, and more often than not get no resistance, so I know my techniques are effective.

[Col. Tigh]

All of these factors are spot on. Of the three, the one you can most readily affect--and the one that has the most impact, in my experience--is your SMV. So start hitting the free weights and lay off the soda, tubby.

[OregonToSoCal]

Another solid post XY with lots of practical information. I've always had my suspicions but your post just confirmed it. The bulk of the LMR I get is due to my own actions way earlier in the interaction. In trying to implement the first date bang recipe and not escalate in public I tend to overdo that and sometimes put out a nonsexual friend vibe. Then when we get back to my place I aggressively escalate and fall into the Jekyll and Hyde syndrome.

Thinking back to many of my successful SNL's I always came in with a strong yet indirect sexual vibe. Lots of touching, talking about sex in general (non judgmental sexual attitude, how society is uptight, how men are afraid of being sexual etc.) and then lo and behold once we get to my place it's a relatively smooth runway to being balls deep in her pussy.

Great stuff man, wish I could rep you again!

[SuperBock]

Sounds similar to this post at good looking loser.

http://www.goodlookingloser.com/entry/ge...irst-dates

[Walker]

(10-20-2015 03:06 PM)MrXY Wrote:  

The Dr Jekyll/Mr Hyde Syndrome

This is a problem I've heard about from many women, but it doesn't get self reported by guys because I don't think they even know they are doing it. What I'm referring to is presenting one personality to the girl in public, and a different one in private. In public, the player, probably more than he realizes, come across as Mr Nice Guy, or The Beta Provider or Entertainment Monkey, and the girl enjoys his company and is somewhat attracted to him, enough to go hang out in a private place with him, but she is not viscerally aroused and craving sex with him. Maybe she is willing to make out with him but nothing further at this point. When in private, though, he gets more aggressive than she had anticipated given the way he previously presented himself, and goes outside the bounds of her expectations. Thus, resistance to sex.

You need to be congruent. Your body language, dress , speech and the whole manner in which you interact with girls should give off a player vibe.You should come across as a man who expects, goes for, and receives sex quickly and frequently. Understand that girls put men into three categories: Unbangable, Possible Boyfriend Material, and Player. You want to be in the Player box from the first impression, so that the girl will understand that if she isolates herself with you, that you will try to have sex with her with speed and authority. That way, she is fully informed of the situation and can choose to take the dick you are offering or decline and bail out from the interaction while still in public.

But it's hard to be Mr. Hyde while cold approaching in public. Very nerve wracking.

[Menace]

I think the thing with Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde is that you need to be somewhat sexual in public. You need to be appropriately physical with her to signal what you're about.

[~wrIghter~]

Some girls don't take well to being physical in early interactions. I remember this past weekend my buddy and I approached a 2 set of latinas. The girl I spoke with seemed interested until I started friendly but mildly physical escalation.

It took her some time to warm up but her friend was unattractive and my buddy wanted nothing to do with her chubby friend but he did a good job of winging me. It does all depend on the girl though.

Mr. XY, excellent write-up. I never really thought about it until you put it all out like that. I've found it difficult to shake the nice guy vibe that I've been groomed into my whole life. Congruence is definitely a big factor in being successful with game.

[OregonToSoCal]

I'll let XY confirm this but I don't think he's talking about being overly physical or escalating immediately after meeting the woman unless it's calibrated to the venue and time. My take on it is he's referring to how you behave on your first date. You've already made the approach or been messaging with the woman from online and now it's just the two of you isolated having drinks, out on a walk etc.

[realologist]

I think the key is building the sexual tension between you two so high that once she finally submits herself to you it is viewed as a release. This way she is craving it. Imagining the pleasure and the feeling of letting go as you take her. This will dominate her thoughts that once isolated and you make your move there will be no resistance. Just another girl eager to experience your manhood.

[WestIndianArchie]

TL DR Version
- Guys don't know anything about the chick, and don't bother to find out. So they stick with girls that like them, , but don't realize she has constraints.
- Girls don't buy into the frame, they don't comply,
- Girls don't touch or like being touched
- There is no physical or location compliance
- There is no verbal or physical escalation
- Player has poor logistics and little flexibility, and loses momentum


-------------
Guys get into LMR situations because they don't really run game, period. LMR starts at minute zero.

The obvious stuff is poor diet and exercise but they want to appeal to a woman's primal nature.

If he's trying to get at her avarice or her need to be in the spotlight, he doesn't look the part or have the social status that she trades pussy for.

Those guys fall on their swords before the battle even starts, halfhearted spitting.

To me though, the most glaring mistake is not even attempting to take into account her psychology.

I'll be the first to say that you can't really read a chick based on what she says, what she does, etc. Those give you clues, but every set will throw a veteran for a loop. It's rare that things go like the textbook says. What separates the vet from the rookie is belief in self.

But...when you're focused on LMR
- what night did you go out
- what time of day
- what sort of venue

When you talk about the front end
- if you do a night club or a happy hour, are you striking at the beginning, middle, or end?
- did you pick the lone wolf, the girl with her co-worker, the one in a big group
- did she give you any non verbal cues to approach

So you're in the conversation
- did you get her Intel on why she is here, did that Intel match with your initial assessment? Can you finesse any if the hiccups?

She is laughing
- have you broken the touch barrier? How did she respond? Negatively, passively, enthusiastically, ...spontaneous reciprocation, escalation on her part?
- did you get verbal compliance, has she adopted your frame?
- has she complied with you physically? (Hold this, grab this)
- have you been able to move her around, in the chairs, in the club, out of the club
- have you verbally escalated, flirting, double entendre, frank sex talk?
- have you physically escalated?

It's tempting to think of these things as a sequence, but the veteran will introduce himself, cold read or bold statement, kiss a cheek or twirl her around before he gets her name.

The rookie will be non reactive or react poorly at resistance, the vet reacts properly. He'll turn her snide comments on her head, push her horrible reaction to something absurd.
But the vet deals with LMR in the first minute.

He meets a mousy girl at a book and wine club, he wants to know what her life is like that night, the next morning, and in general.

If she's Grad student, that might be a green light to push for a continued interaction. He has more time to "get to know her" and put her at ease and coax the slut out in the open.

If the grad student is also a TA, she might not have her morning free. Maybe the vet will slow down or speed up.

If the chick is a housewife, and she's sending signals, he alters his logistics, and decreases the time.

The vet is aware of the constraints.

Nineteen year old party girl. She's brimming with emotions, but her life is chaotic. It might be better to drag her into a bathroom stall rather than try to navigate her chaotic minute to minute life.

If he merely makes out with her on the dance floor, she is as good as gone

In the date context, player still needs to get her schedule, get her to buy into his vision, compliance, escalation. Date design can facilitate those things. Zero date bang, or the bar and then my place, puts a lot more pressure on the player to have his verbal and psychological game on point.

WIA