[Abraxas]

I figure it's time to get this handled once and for all. How do you guys go about initiating a dance session with a girl at a club?

I'm 22 years old and still somewhat new to the club scene. I've probably been out "clubbin" a dozen or so times, my first time being exactly a year ago. Back then, I was still afraid to dance in front of others, so I avoided the dancefloor like the plague. In that sense I've come a long way as I now consider myself to be a fairly competent dancer and am mostly indifferent to the judgment of others in that regard. I don't do any sort of technical dancing like salsa or tango, just freestyle silliness.

Occasionally I will hit the dancefloor, get into state, and girls will simply approach and start grinding on me as a result of the good vibes I'm putting out. However, this method is not even remotely consistent, and has never led to any sustained interaction once we leave the dancefloor. In fact, the girls seem to get bored rather quickly.

The majority of the time, I will start dancing by myself, which can be pretty groovy initially, but after a few minutes I want some female contact, goddamnit. Naturally, there are several girls in my proximity, but I am unsure as to how I should go about initiating. What I have done the past few times I've gone out is slowly move into the proximity of the girl I'm interested in and hope she takes the hint, but this method has been unsuccessful. Understandably so, as this method, by its very nature, subcommunicates neediness and lack of initiative.

Last night I was out at an industrial/goth nightclub tearing it up on the dancefloor and there was a fine little number in front of me, dancing in a sort of huddle with her other female friends. I seriously contemplated grabbing her arm from behind and pulling her over to dance with me but was too chickenshit to do so. Would this technique have been sound?

I suspect that if one had sufficient confidence, simply pulling a girl into his orbit could be highly successful, but the slightest trace of flinching or self-doubt could result in some pretty brutal blow-outs.

Your thoughts?

[Abraxas]

I should add that I almost always go out alone.

[dlmelvin86]

well forth and foremost if you are rolling out dolo than it shows you are farther along than most. most dudes wouldnt / cant go out to a dance club or bar alone. its abit easier to go to a club alone than a bar. thats good, kudos on that note.

now, regarding the dancefloor. id be sure to observe all the ladies on the dancefloor. are they rejecting guys left and right? are they lively and having a good time dancing with numerous guys? are they teasing bitches that are only gonna dance with their girlfriends?

after that id go off of the vibe you get from the girl. make eye contact with her and smile and let her know you see her and are interested. then if it looks promising than slide in there, or grab her hand, approach from behind and grab her waste. or you could do it the funny way and booty dance on her first. all of it should work if you have been observant and done what i recommended.

now unless you are VERY good looking than you dont need to do all that. if you look like a model than you should just be able to approach any girl on the dancefloor and not get turned down too often.

another thing, i wouldnt recommend dancing by yourself in a hiphop type club. now i havent been to alot of techno clubs but it might be more accepted there.

[Abraxas]

(06-29-2010 06:24 PM)dlmelvin86 Wrote:  

i wouldnt recommend dancing by yourself in a hiphop type club. now i havent been to alot of techno clubs but it might be more accepted there.

This is good advice. I remember when I first realized that I had rhythm and could dance in front of others I kind of went nuts with my new "powers" and was cutting a rug pretty much anytime the opportunity presented itself. This did earn me some disapproving looks at a particular hip hop club that I frequent (and a few frat parties, haha). The homophobia factor is clearly elevated in these types of venues, as opposed to say, a goth club, where ambiguous sexuality is pretty much the norm.

A lot of men seem to be uncomfortable with members of their sex who can confidently dance in a way that exudes sexuality. Go to YouTube and watch music videos by any band with a flamboyant lead singer (The Rolling Stones, The Black Crowes, etc.) and there will be several comments by insecure betas referring to these men "faggots" and such. The irony is that they probably get more pussy on accident than these nerds will ever get in their entire lives.

By the way, I'm currently reading Bang, and I just realized that Roosh wrote a section which specifically deals with dancefloor game and pretty much answers all of the questions in my initial post. D'oh!

[Amour Fou]

I joined the forum looking for some help on optimizing my dancefloor game. I realized that the dancefloor is a weak spot of mine and an area of game I should be investing my energy and brains at, considering not only its great escalating potential, but also the venues I work at.

I´m a talker. Even though I´m a beginner, I do have wits, humour, life experiences and some knowledge on pressing a girl’s buttons, especially when I have the time and patience to work on her, in a setting that makes talking possible (I tend to do well on dates, the issue being getting to that point). Rarely, though, I get the opportunity for prolonged attraction – building chatting on the clubs I hang out at. I’m from Rio, Brazil, and usually hang out at the more alternative, rock-electro oriented clubs of the place (some even mentioned by Roosh). Noisy, crowded environment makes it hard for the attraction-building development after the opener. While I do force myself to open regularly, I tend to limit myself to those places at the venue where I can be heard more easily. The thing is: I am not happy with my results, and realize that the next logical step is to work on what I´ve been avoiding – the noisy, touchy-touchy, hard-to-be-heard dancefloor.

How to make a girl interested and build attraction with the minimum talking on a noisy environment?

While Roosh does give a briefing on how to approach on the dancefloor (Bang), due to my talkative/witty nature, I feel the need for some effective lines to use along with Roosh’s frontal approach strategy. I do get stuck on the opener in these circumstances, as I feel that what you say to a girl on a dancefloor carries more weight (due to the difficulties in developing conversation and thus attraction) as opposed to an environment where I could simply make a dada-inspired remark and carry on from there, as I would be able to talk more.

Would like to hear from more experienced players…

[Chad Daring]

I'm not experience (at least not as experienced as many of the other members here ) but I can speak on this a bit because this is basically me any given weekend. I roll out dolo go to a bar or pseudo-club and usually end up dancing by myself.

Now my fuck ups have taught me, if a girl comes up to you, make physical contact. I can remember a few cases when I was first getting into all of this when a girl came up to me, started dancing and grinding, but I clicked back to beta and kinda went hover hands while dancing. Grab her hips within the first few minutes, do that and she'll let you know whats up. There were cases when I hover handed that the girl eventually backed off or left to get a drink or go to the bathroom. After that she would see me look at her then get very down, I'm thinking that by me going hover hands it came off as if I rejected her.

I had a smokin hotty come up to me once, start dancing and for whatever reason (probably booze) I was particularly brave that night and did go for her hips, after about 15 seconds she stepped back, looked me in the eye and shook her finger "no no no" We danced for about five more minutes then she meandered off.

I saw that same girl dance with at least 10 other guys (and a few girls) that night, and eventually went home alone.

If you're not half bad, dancing can be a really good to get the primal juices flowing. Now I dont buy the whole idea of "a guy dances the way he fucks" but most girls do. If you're able to dance well and get her close to let her not only see how good you are but FEEL how good you are, you'll get her interested.

[Amour Fou]

I think that in my situation - which is basically dancing to alternative rock / electronica - the "good dancer" issue is not much of a problem, as those styles are pretty easy to dance to.

But what was mentioned about "hover hands" is actually quite interesting, as physical escalation on the dancefloor is something of a sticking point to me. I have the feeling that I should already have the girl engaged with a witty and discernible opener that makes her laugh or at least somewhat interested before I attempt any escalation.

I am at the moment looking for some effective lines I can use at the dancefloor, which, because of the loud music, I can't game as I would elsewhere, as I find it hard to deliver attraction-building material. I am actually looking for words, lines, openers.

[Chad Daring]

I might be wrong in saying this, but if she's dancing with you and okay with your hands on her, you dont need to open her, its already been done

[Agent_GQ]

One of my best friends and wings has a saying, "If you're on the dance floor and you look to the left and look to the right and there ain't a chick in sight...get the fuck off the dance floor!!" The point is that you should never hit the dance floor without girl(s) already in hand. Going solo onto the dance floor is a lose-lose proposition, unless you are extremely good looking.

When you go around the bar/club approaching girls, if a girl hooks and she likes you then she's game to go dance on the dance floor. So work on getting your approaches to hook well, then take them to the dance floor. And make sure you can at least look all right on the dance floor, you don't want to blow it by looking like Carlton from Fresh Prince.

[Chad Daring]

(04-21-2011 06:33 PM)Agent_GQ Wrote:  

One of my best friends and wings has a saying, "If you're on the dance floor and you look to the left and look to the right and there ain't a chick in sight...get the fuck off the dance floor!!" The point is that you should never hit the dance floor without girl(s) already in hand. Going solo onto the dance floor is a lose-lose proposition, unless you are extremely good looking.

I must be better looking then I think because I've never had an issue going Billy Idol

[HD668B]

check the book from marriedgamedenialist , i learned dancefloor game with him, great guy

[thegmanifesto]

Abraxas -

" I seriously contemplated grabbing her arm from behind and pulling her over to dance with me but was too chickenshit to do so. Would this technique have been sound? "

It might work, or it might get you maced.

Just tap her and say hello.

The great thing about nightclubs is because they are so loud, you can talk real close to her. Builds vibes.

And don't refer to it as "clubbin" anymore.

Its just going out.

[HD668B]

(04-22-2011 09:37 AM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  

And don't refer to it as "clubbin" anymore.

[mr.Biscuit]

dats a good idea though i havent had any chance doing so....if you get good result than letme now

[Amour Fou]

Having a hard time developing my dancefloor game... trying different things as of now, but I'm still figuring ways to open a group of girls in a loud environment, with few words.

[Chad Daring]

(04-23-2011 04:45 PM)Amour Fou Wrote:  

Having a hard time developing my dancefloor game... trying different things as of now, but I'm still figuring ways to open a group of girls in a loud environment, with few words.

In a dance situation Roosh's tactic of just walk up to them seems to work the best. If they're interested they wont move away.

[Amour Fou]

"When your talking game is tight, dance floor approaches is like going backwards." - Roosh, via twitter

I disagree somewhat. Well, at least from where I'm standing, I find talking game MUCH, MUCH easier than dancefloor game. Talking is so much easier to me, as it gives me time and resources to display personality. Dancefloor game is much more balsy, visceral, "non-verbal", body-language oriented and to the point that I feel that I have a huge gap for not having a tight dancefloor game. I think that I lose A LOT not having that killer instinct that some have to approach girls mainly through body-language cues, which is my main sticking point right now. Dancefloor is basically where I take girls or look for them after having opened and talked elsewhere on the venue, not where I open them out of the blue...

I feel that, as of now, I am much more of a middle-game guy, working thoroughly on my early game, pretty much because I am much better in talking than balsyness...

just an insight.