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Sit across from her, or sit next to her on first date?
07-17-2010, 09:03 AM
We have to keep in mind, though, that being 'alpha' to women, and being 'alpha' to men can be two totally separate things. I think a lot of guys are referencing an example of a man who is alpha to either one or the other, and therefore they cant totally agree on what makes a guy alpha.
There is often a lot of crossover, but you can have a really tough guy, physically, who falls apart when speaking to women. Then, you can have a 125 lb guy who is a bit of a geek around other men, but knows how to take a woman to that place that she needs to go. I've known both.
Whoever said that proficiency with the tongue really makes the alpha, at least as far as women are concerned, is right. I still stand by my statements about wrestling and fighting, but really they are just effective ways to overcome confidence issues if necessary. Once a guy is more confident in his physical prowess, often total confidence follows.
Also, a small guy who has some slick speaking skills, in my experience, can often get into social trouble with other alpha males in that he tries to overcompensate by being too mouthy. At that point, his 'alphaness' could be put into check by other physically larger guys. But not always, if he's a cool guy, as well, then the tongue will make the man.
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Sit across from her, or sit next to her on first date?
07-23-2010, 02:28 AM
Human society is way to complex for the alpha status to really have any serious concise meaning, unless used in brief picture of interactions in a given setting..
We arent a tribe, sure there is insecure and secure.. inner game and social proof..
My recipie for the so called alpha status is living life as I see fit.. doing as little that I dislike or that doesnt give me pleasure.. I dont care much for others "truth" of living, gaming, politics etc.. I stay true to myself as much as possible, living life on my terms as much as possible... the older I get the more I see my own truth in serving me as my master..in example I dont have to think that Adolf Hitler is a bad person because everyone is crying out how awfull he was, I believe exactly what I think without letting the blind lead me.
"Retain the outspokenness of a small child who freely speaks his mind because he has not yet been corrupted by adults who tell him to do otherwise. Avoid envying or imitating others viewed as models of perfection; instead take pride in your own individuality and never be afraid to express original ideas. Rather live up to your own ideals, even if doing so reaps criticism and denunciation."
.. sometimes I think it a pity we like in a postfeminin era where all that is male is deemed bad.. it feels like being castrated not being able to say and do what you feel for ..
"We are a generation raised by women. I'm wondering if another woman is the answer.
where to sit depends on how well she responds to your bodylanguage ques, is she touchy touchy.. cold.. freezes etc.. no two cases are alike generalizing is failing to look for the mechanics and thin slicing your environment for variables that matters..
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Sit across from her, or sit next to her on first date?
05-24-2014, 02:24 AM
Not to be bringing up old stuff, but what do you guys think of this in 2014
WIA
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Sit across from her, or sit next to her on first date?
05-24-2014, 02:32 AM
Always sit next to them at the counter, I find it easier on my hands and their bodies if I want to touch.
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Sit across from her, or sit next to her on first date?
05-24-2014, 04:27 AM
Always next to, if they don't sit like that initially I tell her to move around. 9/10 she's not going to mind that you at the tone.
Unless she's a strong empowered woman that doesn't take directions from men in which case: jesus christ what were you thinking!?
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Sit across from her, or sit next to her on first date?
05-24-2014, 05:14 AM
Not sitting next to a girl is just making life harder for yourself needlessly.
If the chairs aren't aligned right for that, move them!
I've done this loads of times and it's quite a powerful statement of intent; before you sit down, just pick it up and move it to next to her or so that you are either side of a corner at a table. Don't say anything, just pick it up and move it.
I have also grabbed girls' chairs whilst they are sitting on them and dragged them closer to me whilst on a date; another dominant move.
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Sit across from her, or sit next to her on first date?
05-24-2014, 08:12 AM
Never sit across on the first date.
Always next-to.