[gandt]

I recently posted this as a response to the AO thread as a response to why girls love letting their inner slut out but rarely want to be thought of or labelled as a slut.

I was expressing my view about how "feeling like a slut" and her "feeling used" are two very different things. IMO girls like to be treated like filthy sex creatures but do not want to be used (read on for details)... Girls do not want to be labelled as sluts, ESPECIALLY in western culture.

My opinion is that girls will do ANYTHING they can get away with. So providing a safe environment for them to do this in is a good first step.

That being said I do not think that most girls want to FEEL like a slut. "Wait, whatever do you mean gandt?" Well girls wont want to go home with a guy who asks them to fuck (straight away) without taking a genuine interest in who they are (apocalypse opener). Additionally, they wont want to go home with a guy who does not provide them with the reassurance that you're not going to chuck em in the garbage when your done blowing your load in them. Sure, there are always exceptions (I too have had my fair share of girls whose name I didn't even know).

But what I am getting at is that are a few key elements to allowing a girl to let her inner slut out while not being labelled as a slut and made to feel "dirty" about herself. Girls are taught from a young age "what daddy doesn't know won't hurt him" and this mentality very much carries over into their paranoia about them being labelled as sluts.

Here are a few things that you may already know or may find useful in creating a safe environment:

-Communicating your non-judgemental acceptance of her behaviour (in the sense that you are not going to treat her any differently based on her sexual choices and that it's completely natural for women to want to be sluts). If you combine this with a no self-inflicted shame for being up front and sexual (read below for more on that) this tool becomes very powerful.

-Communicating security (in the sense that you will neither kick her to the curb when you are done OR beg to be her boyfriend). This is a HUGE one because most girls who go home with a guy shortly after meeting him USUALLY experience 1 of 2 scenarios:
THE FIRST is the guy thinks she's trash for going home with him and never talks to her again. This is where the feeling of being used comes into play.
THE SECOND is the guy thinks he is automatically entitled to be her boyfriend because he cant understand the concept that women like CASUAL sex just as much as men.

When you communicate you are unlike these other guys she realises she can do all she wants with you and YOU WON'T COUNT! (in her book ) She will not have to worry about her friends finding out or you wanting all her attention, etc...

-communicating that you want to be with her for who she is, not because she is a piece of meat with a hole in it. An easy way to think of this is when girls ask a guy "why me?". If you are able to answer that question and provide her with reasons why you want to spend time with her you are gold.

So if you can communicate these elements then you come from a real position of power in my opinion.

IMPORTANT!! This all may seem very huffy fluffy to some of you and I am sure some are thinking "fuck that beta shit about building safety". I am NOT saying you shouldn't be sexually forward. In fact it is a huge part of my game and I encourage all of you to do it as well. After all, trying to hide things makes you creepy. What I am saying is there is a way to be filthy and nasty with girls while providing them with a secure environment to do it in.

The guys who are good at bringing the inner slut out in girls are inherently good at this. Hopefully, some of this can get you thinking on how to incorporate this into your arsenal. Would love to hear other's views as well of course.

[void]

They don't want the slut reputation, because it lowers their RelationshipMarketValue. You have to convey that the sexual escapades you will have with her are confidential, problem solved.

[Ensam]

Actually one of the beautiful things about the AO is that you're not supposed to react negatively if she says no. If you continue on a normal conversation with a girl after you've told her you want to fuck her then you're communicating to her that it's not just about sex.

I've noticed that most girls _love_ being told how slutty and dirty they are during sex. I've recently by trying this more and I can feel a girl get a little gush of wetness when I tell her to be my slut. The trick is to create a frame where she's being a slut in reaction to you. She's not a slut because she's fucked 10 other guys that week, she's a slut because you're such a stud that she just can't help herself. Whenever a girl says, "I can't sleep with you because you'll think I'm a slut", I respond with, "It's ok baby I wont judge you. You can't help yourself-I'm just that persuasive". Then when she gets really turned on I'll tell her I want to her to be my slut and so far they've all just melted.

The whore in the bedroom dynamic is great for girls who really care about their image: lawyers, MBA chicks, doctors, etc. Treat them with kindness and respect in public and then dominate in the bedroom. They love it.

[gandt]

(03-15-2013 07:39 AM)Ensam Wrote:  

Actually one of the beautiful things about the AO is that you're not supposed to react negatively if she says no. If you continue on a normal conversation with a girl after you've told her you want to fuck her then you're communicating to her that it's not just about sex.

I've noticed that most girls _love_ being told how slutty and dirty they are during sex. I've recently by trying this more and I can feel a girl get a little gush of wetness when I tell her to be my slut. The trick is to create a frame where she's being a slut in reaction to you. She's not a slut because she's fucked 10 other guys that week, she's a slut because you're such a stud that she just can't help herself. Whenever a girl says, "I can't sleep with you because you'll think I'm a slut", I respond with, "It's ok baby I wont judge you. You can't help yourself-I'm just that persuasive". Then when she gets really turned on I'll tell her I want to her to be my slut and so far they've all just melted.

The whore in the bedroom dynamic is great for girls who really care about their image: lawyers, MBA chicks, doctors, etc. Treat them with kindness and respect in public and then dominate in the bedroom. They love it.

Excellent point about commenting on her sluttiness in reaction to you.

Another thing is that women are taught from a young age to feel bad and dirty about themselves if they have sex with a guy without making them "earn it" either by investing time and/or money into them in the form of romance, dates, etc... This has caused average joes to constantly succumb to this behaviour to get into girl's pants. The problem is that it misleads the girl into thinking the guy wants something more than just sex (which in most cases that is all he wants).

Why am I saying this?

If you are able to reason with the hamster and tell her you are not going to posture for her in that way and mislead her, then you can go from being on the opposite team ie. "he is just trying to fuck me" to being on the same team i.e. "omg he is different! we get to have crazy wild sex together just for fun!"

[MrXY]

Excellent post OP- this is an area of higher level game which is rather refined and I think a lot of guys don't quite get it.

I handle myself the same way- I communicate my sexual intentions through flirting, kino, eye contact, body language and demeanor and a minimal amount of making out while at the same time subtly and indirectly letting her know that I am a man who is nonjudgmental, easygoing and rather lax in his moral views. Girls are sensitive to how men view them; they will pick up on this without difficulty and a sort of silent understanding is reached. Trust is built and she will feel that her "reputation" to use an old term, will not be damaged by a dalliance with you.

As OP also points out, making her feel safe is important-both in the physical sense-that you are not going to harm her, and in the sense that you are not going to become weird after the encounter. Basically, I handle this simply by coming across as a cool, confident guy who is congruent with himself i.e. not "creepy." But you have to walk a fine line here-you have to give her reassurances of her safety, we've all had the "You're not a serial killer, are you?" question quite a few times I'm sure, while not being too safe and too nice. Girls are turned on by the perception that they are putting themselves into a bit of danger by going off with a charming stranger, so you want to keep an edge. You want to come across as the seductive, unpredictable badboy who might rough her up a bit in the way she fantasizes about but won't actually hurt her.

I'm continually amazed at how rough and degrading I can get with most girls the FIRST TIME and how positively they react to it. I'll say things like '"Suck me like a little slut" or "I'm gonna bend you over like a little whore" or "I'm gonna make you my fucktoy" But notice the language-I'm saying "like"- not that she is -I'm giving her permission to play that role with me, I'm not insulting her. As Ensam notes, a lot of girls get extremely excited by this, you can see them get much more excited and their pussies will flood. As always, calibrate to the individual, some girls are freakier and like outright insults,"Shut up, slut" others don't. And then there is the physical side-manhandling them, putting them into position physically and verbally, hair pulling, pinning them down, light slapping and choking etc. Astonishing how many women, including many "nice" women you would never expect are very turned on by this.

But remember, you have to set the context for all this beforehand. If a guy goes from being nice beta boy to suddenly trying this sort of thing-it's a no go. The incongruence is too great- this is the sort of behavior that women refer to as "creepy" and worry about with betas. You have to present an image-sexual, cool, nonjudgmental, badboyish- so that she knows, at least in the back of her mind, that she can safely release her inner slut with you

[gandt]

(03-15-2013 02:15 PM)MrXY Wrote:  

Excellent post OP- this is an area of higher level game which is rather refined and I think a lot of guys don't quite get it.

I handle myself the same way- I communicate my sexual intentions through flirting, kino, eye contact, body language and demeanor and a minimal amount of making out while at the same time subtly and indirectly letting her know that I am a man who is nonjudgmental, easygoing and rather lax in his moral views. Girls are sensitive to how men view them; they will pick up on this without difficulty and a sort of silent understanding is reached. Trust is built and she will feel that her "reputation" to use an old term, will not be damaged by a dalliance with you.

As OP also points out, making her feel safe is important-both in the physical sense-that you are not going to harm her, and in the sense that you are not going to become weird after the encounter. Basically, I handle this simply by coming across as a cool, confident guy who is congruent with himself i.e. not "creepy." But you have to walk a fine line here-you have to give her reassurances of her safety, we've all had the "You're not a serial killer, are you?" question quite a few times I'm sure, while not being too safe and too nice. Girls are turned on by the perception that they are putting themselves into a bit of danger by going off with a charming stranger, so you want to keep an edge. You want to come across as the seductive, unpredictable badboy who might rough her up a bit in the way she fantasizes about but won't actually hurt her.

I'm continually amazed at how rough and degrading I can get with most girls the FIRST TIME and how positively they react to it. I'll say things like '"Suck me like a little slut" or "I'm gonna bend you over like a little whore" or "I'm gonna make you my fucktoy" But notice the language-I'm saying "like"- not that she is -I'm giving her permission to play that role with me, I'm not insulting her. As Ensam notes, a lot of girls get extremely excited by this, you can see them get much more excited and their pussies will flood. As always, calibrate to the individual, some girls are freakier and like outright insults,"Shut up, slut" others don't. And then there is the physical side-manhandling them, putting them into position physically and verbally, hair pulling, pinning them down, light slapping and choking etc. Astonishing how many women, including many "nice" women you would never expect are very turned on by this.

But remember, you have to set the context for all this beforehand. If a guy goes from being nice beta boy to suddenly trying this sort of thing-it's a no go. The incongruence is too great- this is the sort of behavior that women refer to as "creepy" and worry about with betas. You have to present an image-sexual, cool, nonjudgmental, badboyish- so that she knows, at least in the back of her mind, that she can safely release her inner slut with you

Man, great analysis and it's good to see an actual example of someone who incorporates this into their game. It seems like you have struck the perfect balance between ensuring her safety and taking on the bad boy role.

The thing is that most of this communication is very subtle and is sometimes hard to put into words. Of course there are certain lines you can say here and there but most of this is picked up through a girl's intuition. That being said I think Cajun's video on subtext can really help in this category.

Also, as MR.XY says, if you don't have the congruent behaviour to go along with a line that says "I don't judge girls for their sexual choices" it wont even matter what comes out of your mouth. The girl will sense it immediately and you will become "creepy".

[horn]

(03-16-2013 12:56 PM)gandt Wrote:  

(03-15-2013 02:15 PM)MrXY Wrote:  

Excellent post OP- this is an area of higher level game which is rather refined and I think a lot of guys don't quite get it.

I handle myself the same way- I communicate my sexual intentions through flirting, kino, eye contact, body language and demeanor and a minimal amount of making out while at the same time subtly and indirectly letting her know that I am a man who is nonjudgmental, easygoing and rather lax in his moral views. Girls are sensitive to how men view them; they will pick up on this without difficulty and a sort of silent understanding is reached. Trust is built and she will feel that her "reputation" to use an old term, will not be damaged by a dalliance with you.

As OP also points out, making her feel safe is important-both in the physical sense-that you are not going to harm her, and in the sense that you are not going to become weird after the encounter. You have to present an image-sexual, cool, nonjudgmental, badboyish- so that she knows, at least in the back of her mind, that she can safely release her inner slut with you

Man, great analysis and it's good to see an actual example of someone who incorporates this into their game. It seems like you have struck the perfect balance between ensuring her safety and taking on the bad boy role....

Also, as MR.XY says, if you don't have the congruent behaviour to go along with a line that says "I don't judge girls for their sexual choices" it wont even matter what comes out of your mouth. The girl will sense it immediately and you will become "creepy".

Two good posts here by OP and Mr. XY. I think the main way you escalate and act congruent and, most importantly, have her 'feel safe,' is to continue to bounce from venue to venue. Take her multiple places - bars or clubs where the doorman knows you, at least one bartender knows you, the waitresses know you. Go to at least 2 places like this, although you can always try a new bar along the way too.

This shows her so many things - you're a confident man, you obtain social proof, she sees you with other girls, those girls will likely talk you up when you are using the restroom, etc, and most importantly, the time distortion effect that occurs over the course of the night when you two are drinking at several venues. This allows you to escalate easily with kino, she will no longer be afraid that you are either clingy or an ax murderer, and gives you lots of chances to demonstrate you're a non-judgemental guy who won't tell everyone when she bangs you. Over the course of the nite your hand goes from touching her arm, to the small of her back at the next bar, to her ass/thighs, to deep kissing, to sealing the deal.

Endgame: I honestly think every girl likes having her hair pulled, some dirty talk, and light slapping of ass/light choking. I have been shocked to discover this over time -- because every girl is different, right?

But if you're a confident man with good social proof, she is going to be very happy to let her inner slut out in your bedroom or hers. Or in the cab on the way home. They will almost beg for you to take control of them, to dominate them. It makes them feel *less* slutty the next day.