[Tideride]

Perhaps its my personality and not being able to let things go (ego pride existential angst) but how do you release rage and anger in a positive healthy way that's not violent or self destructive?

I won't bore you with my troubles I'm just looking for intelligent ways to handle deep stroms of emotions better and not allow people or circumstances get the best of the individual.

Does anyone else think Americas toxic culture makes us all pissed off- its insane how truth is twisted and all these half ass half truths are forced upon us and were supposed to just take it? Like what if every guy said screw political correctness from hr and told Sally she had nice tits when we felt like it?

[Glaucon]

In the gym.

[jhicks56]

Work out and laugh at everything.

[Nemencine]

Hate-fuck some bitch. Beat that pussy up.

Give yourself a project. A worthwhile, expansive project. Having awesome shite to do -- that you look forward to, tends to lessen the amount of time/mental energy you waste on negative stuff. You are too busy thinking of your projects, than to waste energy on worthless people/things.

Task yourself everyday. Every morning that i wake up, first thing that i do is to write down a list of things i want to accomplish/complete each day. I also designate an allotted time for each tasks. It is incredible what you can accomplish when you discipline and budget your time. Dont be idle. The devil makes work for idle hands. Being idle gives you excess time/mental energy to waste on worthless things/people.

I have daily tasks, i have weekly tasks, i also have monthly tasks and multi-month projects. Accomplishment elevates the mood and also builds character.

Engage in high intensity exercise. The kind that leaves you practically unable to walk afterwards. The kind that leaves your muscle shaking. Or the alternative: you can take a long jog through a good scenery while shadow boxing.

Read intellectually engaging, abstract and highly technical books. The kind of books that physically and mentally exhausts you after you've read them. The kind of book that is so difficult, they re-write your neural-pathways. Ignore political/culture books.

Spark up conversation with random strangers. pick people out of the crowd at random and start a conversation with them. shoot the breeze for no good reason. Avoid trigger issues: politics, race, etc. Just a nice, decent conversation. Interacting with people in a positive way, and getting a positive feedback, feeds a positive mindset.

Avoid spending too much time reading about politics/culture stuff. Watch less television(or watch old classic movies). Avoid reading websites or threads that feeds negative emotions. All these things are just a form of emotional porn. You have to go cold turkey by withdrawing from them....and fill up your time with tasks.

Watch youtube clips of comedians that are not political. laugh.

There are people that have written extensively about this stuff more than i can. MikeCf and Giovionny are two of them. Read some of Giovionny and MikeCF posts. Heck, read posts of people that are generally positive and upbeat about life. Ignore the negative ones. Also, before i forget, listen to MikeCF's podcast on danger and play. I am sure him and Giovionny have delved into these things far more thoroughly than i can or have done.

hope you find these useful,

regards,

Nemencine.

[Glaucon]

(04-12-2014 07:38 AM)Nemencine Wrote:  

regards,

Nemencine.

This post is gold. I have to look into MikeCF's podcasts.

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

I neutralize it with my knowledge that life is just a fun dream and not to be taken too seriously. In that light, anything can be shrugged off as an adventure of some kind, soon to be followed by unpredictable others.

Imagine the mental state of a tai chi stance that symbolizes absorbing energy through one hand, channeling it through your body so that it doesn't touch the heart and then expelling it harmlessly through the other hand. At no point does the anger collect in you. It merely enters, becomes neutralized, and passes without trace.

Or Nikola Tesla channeling electricity through himself to light a lamp:

[Tideride]

This is important-
How can you learn to be funny and create good comedy at will? That would make a cool thread.

I'm kind if anal retentive but I do believe we all have the power to change.


Psychologically-Im intrigued by the energetic flow of the body and how that corrates to perception and behavior- thats definitely something ill read more about and as a layman I think we live in a parallel universe that we cannot consciouy address but our subconscious has some connection to.

Physically- Working out hard and often is something ive always been in to. I'm a big fan of variety- ill go hiit for a few weeks then do lengthy cardio and go from 5x5 to all body weight routines and other times ill just hike or go dance at clubs for my exercise-I thoroughly despise monotony.

One thing I used to do is fight. When you fight it's such a release. My only gripe is I'm early 30s now and don't recover quite as fast from injuries and intense workouts having my heart rate up but then again there is a real thrill in gambling and going balls out.

I think people who take lots of risks realize this truth- I love what Roosh decribednin some of his writings as the grey numb middle class college cubicle career existence that parents push their kids into- honestly those who risk and succeed live far better lives than those who are afraid to try.

If I psychoanalyze myself- its really ego and fear that are the roots of my inner turmoil.


What would you guys say are intelligent ways to conquer ego and fear?

[Beyond Borders]

Watch comedy.
Write. Especially freewriting.
Beat the pussy up.
Going off on a punching bag. Make sure you wrap your hands though - have skinned up my knuckles pretty bad doing this while mad. The idea should be to maintain a degree of control over yourself here; otherwise you're training yourself to lose control.
Hang with a positive and fun friend. Just make it more about the fun friend than the booze if you're drinking. Making your main goal the pussy can be dangerous if you're particularly irate too because if you strike out you might get put in a worse mood. So just go have fun.
Go for a long, long walk and just think. A hard hike is even better.
Go swimming. Especially laps - very meditative.
Go to the beach. Something about the ocean always humbles me. Especially if the ocean is particularly savage and powerful.
Here's one no one's mentioned - play with a dog or a happy baby. Hard to stay pissed off around either of those.
Meditate. This works best if you're already in the habit of meditating on a regular basis.
Bury yourself in a productive project. It will take time before you can completely immerse, but keep at it until it carries you away.

[Beyond Borders]

(04-12-2014 08:31 AM)Tideride Wrote:  

One thing I used to do is fight. When you fight it's such a release. My only gripe is I'm early 30s now and don't recover quite as fast from injuries and intense workouts having my heart rate up

I think most of us agree here on this forum that in this day and age fighting is not a very positive way to manage anger.

Can get you hurt, can injure someone else, and can lead to loss of freedom.

Also, one thing that irks me more than anything is guys who go out and start fights with others because they're in a bad mood or like fighting. I confess I've done it spur of the moment when boozed up a few times, but it's hardly fair to the guy whose night you're ruining - even when you take on more than one (I say this because sometimes you can convince yourself it's "okay" if the odds are against you, but it's not).

Using someone's head as a punching bag to release your frustration is far from positive.

We're intelligent men here; we should hold ourselves to a higher standard.

Sparring could be a better option if you think you can manage your emotions while doing so and not end up trying to hurt your partner.

[Tideride]

You're right- intelligence is the winning ticket in the game of life.


My question to your Incisive response-
What's a pragmatic way to boost emotional intelligence if you lack in that area?

[BruceCreatine]

Thinking about negative things when you workout is not a good idea. You can turn something positive into something that will get you down. I used to get pumped up by thinking of everything that annoyed me, and i found i was getting more depressed in general.

Negative thoughts are like a small snowball at the top of the mountain they will roll and roll and grow until you find yourself depressed.

Stay positive and ignore annoying things. Sometimes easier said than done.

[polymath]

Keep your head down and focus on yourself. Rage is a feeling, not something tangible, not a quantity or commodity. Master it and make it go away by focusing on something that improves your life. Don't let strong feelings steer your actions against your better judgment.

[VincentVinturi]

I scream and beat the shit out of my pillows until I calm down.

Works like a charm.

[Giovonny]

1) Play a physical sport that allows me to release my physical energy -- Football, soccer, rugby, boxing, wrestling, etc.

These things allow me to take my rage out in a somewhat constructive way.

For me, the best thing is to Spar in Boxing. This allows me to be rageful in a safe environment.

These things also make me Physically Exhausted, which is very helpful in calming the rage.

If none of these things are possible for you, I recommend just running or jogging. Just put your shoes on and go.

Again, this combination of a physical release of energy along with exhausting yourself is a great coping strategy.

I sometimes smoke cannabis before I do these things. This is relaxing for me.

2) Talk to a trusted friend or family member about the specific issue. I talk to my best friends mom who studies this stuff and she always helps me to calm down.

3) Break stuff. I sometimes get an old chair or an old desk and just take a baseball bat to it. Some people go to the junk yard just to destroy things. It works. (wear eye protection)

4) Lose yourself in your favorite art or craft. Play music, listen to music, go to the movies, watch your favorite tv show, watch your favorite movie, draw, paint, sing, rap, etc. Whatever will take your mind off of the rage.

5) Write about your rage. Express it in words. I sometimes compose an email that explains why I am mad and what I plan to do about it. I usually delete it a few days later but the physical act of just writing it out often helps. DON'T SEND THE EMAIL TO ANYONE! MAYBE, JUST A TRUSTED FRIEND IF YOU REALLY NEED SOMEONE ELSE TO SEE IT.

6) Stay away from people. Don't put yourself in a compromising position. I just stay home, exercise at the park, play ball, listen to music, cook, eat and write. I sometimes walk to the top of a mountain. Nature seems to help. I get a good nights sleep and usually feel much better in the morning.

I often use a combination of all of these things.

******

But, these are only strategies to RELEASE RAGE.

Once, the rage is released it is still very important to ADDRESS THE SOURCE OF THE RAGE. This is often anger at another person or frustration about our own life. (Or both)

The "source of our rage" is often an outdated or ineffective coping strategy. We literally have to update and improve the way we react to things. This often requires deep introspection and "soul searching".

Sometimes, we need professional help with this! There are lots of counselors, therapist's, and mental health professionals that can help us find better coping strategies.

Talk to someone you can trust.

*****

Sometimes, we get mad because we are just frustrated with life. We all have weaknesses and areas we need to improve in. TAKE ACTION TO IMPROVE THOSE AREAS! Get help with them! FIX YOUR LIFE! Whatever it is, fix it.

Don't just learn to deal with the rage, take steps to eliminate the cause of the rage. Do your best to fix your life so that there is no reason to be rageful.

If you do get rageful, find a startegy that allows you to deal with it in a safe way.

[RexImperator]

Practice observing your own thought process.

There are a few threads here about CBT and mindfulness meditation. There are different paths to take which end up with the same result: developing the ability to remain calm and resist ceding control to a negative thought pattern.

Eventually, instead of slowly inflating a ballon which eventually pops, you let the air out little by little.

The first step will likely require some introspection an acknowledgement that your anger may actually be self-directed. Ask yourself honestly if that may be the case. If so don't judge yourself because of it.

Also, +1 for engaging in some form of intense exercise, as mentioned previously.

[kdolo]

Stay away from:
-the stupid
-the ignorant
-haters


Embrace the rage, wallow in it, enjoy it.

Evolution gave it to us for a reason - motivation to change and succeed.

[birdie num num]

Watch this video. Maybe it will put things in perspective for you. Sometimes it helps to look at life as one big cosmic absurdity.

[Foolsgo1d]

Heavy deadlift sessions.

If you're still angry before going to bed after them then you need something else to do with your time. Watch puppies on youtube or those rain videos.

[Tommy Eyes]

[puckerman]

Take acting classes. It's a great place to release anger. It's also a pussy paradise.

Also, try martial arts.

[LeBeau]

(04-12-2014 10:10 AM)VincentVinturi Wrote:  

I scream and beat the shit out of my pillows until I calm down.

Works like a charm.

I can only the imagine the confusion from neighbours who've seen you pull on multiple nights, regularly bring girls back, then they hear that one time instead.....

Solid Unintentional Troll