[Garzero]

Have you guys ever happened to call names a girl after she flaked? It happened to me a couple of times, one in my twenties and one in my thirties, both in similar situations (I meet a girl who starts flirting with me a lot, gives me an evident green light, telephone number, asks me to call to hang out ecc., and then she begins flaking in a way showing a huge disrespect and unpoliteness), and both these girls remained SHOCKED for days as I changed my attitude becoming rude by insulting them by sms, so that I thought I actually made them a favour somehow teaching them a lesson, and also had the strong feeling that I could restart the things and this time they would be more humble and affectionate.
So what's your experience about this?

[painter]

What lesson did you tech them?

It seems that when you start badmouthing, calling them out, or berating a woman they automatically put you in the needy loser category (I won't use the C-word but they will). An invaluable lesson I've learned here is to just move on. The quicker you do that, the less you care. There's a million other chicks out there, none of them should be extra special to you.

That being said, girls do like drama. If you get under their skin in the right I-don't-give-a-fuck-about-you-or-any-other-chick way they'll engage. And yes, if you piss them off you can turn that into attraction but it's a very fine line.

Give an example of what you did with one of these flakes.

[Ruxman]

Very fine line indeed, if u call her names you're living up to the immaturity which she was already suspicious of.

[Garzero]

I don't agree with you, because from what you say it looks like we are the ones who have to show maturity all the time, even when they don't.
I may not give a thing about get in a girl's pants since, as you rightly say, there are tons of other chiks out there, but I don't accept to be treated unfarirly without respect. Hence, I treat her with no respect, using the appropriate words to describe how much she sucks. I don't think this is immaturity, but just a way to make her understand that if you give shit you might sometime happen to receive shit in exchange.
I can understand by myself when a girl is not into me, and in that case I don't feel the need to have a kind of "revenge" trying to offend her.
But when a girl is *really* unrespectful like for example, as it happened to me, makes me wait at home for a whole evening keeping texting me she was gonna come (I had prepared dinner) and then doesn't show up, and then when the day after I complain she tells me rudely "but why you stayed all the evening sitting around at home?", well, okay, I understand she gamed me, but I think I'm allowed to have the feeling of punching her in the face, which I can't do for obvious rerasons, so I try to be more smooth, and go with some peculiar offence (in that case I called her "retarded ass" which for some reason was very appropriate to her, indeed she stayed mad about it for several months; if I was such an immature loser, I don't think she would have given a fuck about it)
The point here is not to get mad at a girl who is not into you, but at someone who treats you with disrispect only because you are being, maybe a bit naifly, nice to her. If you withdraw from the thing without saying a word, in my instance you look like still more a loser. You look like the random guy who tries his luck with all the bangable girls around, and don't care much about his own dignity as long as he keeps having hope to have his dick wet.
If I know I was a bit creepy, I can accept a girl starts ignoring me. But if I know a I was well behaved, I don't accept being treated meanly, so I'll make her feel bad as I did.
Believe me, you get a lot of satisfactin doing that, if you do it properly.

(02-23-2013 08:51 AM)Ruxman Wrote:  

Very fine line indeed, if u call her names you're living up to the immaturity which she was already suspicious of.

[painter]

I know what you're saying, she hurt you so you want to hurt her back. It's tit for tat and here you are, who knows how much time has gone by still brooding about some chick who stood you up. It's called butthurt and it signals to a chick that you're a loser.

Of course you're a man and you want dignity and respect. Did you achieve that by getting down in the mud trading insults and acting childish? I don't think so. A man with dignity who is worthy of respect does what he says he will do and says what he means and nobody, male or female, throws him off his game.

It's beneath you to tell off some chick you haven't even slept with. You want to mess with her head then just disappear. Sure it's harder to do because it takes discipline, and you don't get the instant gratification of yelling at her but in the long run it works because it keeps her guessing, raises your value in her mind and it also keeps the door open if you ever run into her again. Try it the next time you want to rip some chick and see what happens.

I know exactly where you're coming from because I've been there. It's much easier to move on and just forget a chick than to obsess over one, want to "get even", "teach her a lesson" or "put her in her place". You have better things to do. It's a mistake to waste time and energy on some chick you haven't fucked. If it's your girlfriend and you catch her fucking someone else in your bed, yeah, read her the riot act if you want, but for a girl you don't even know it's pointless.

You said you disagree. How did things work out with this chick who stood you up? Did you make her cry? Did she apologize? Did your tongue lashing make her hot and bothered? Did she make it up to you by coming over and getting naked?

[Matt3B]

Whats up flakey mcflakester

http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2009/02/0...g-a-flake/

I actually used this and it worked.

[Garzero]

The girl didn't do any of the things you mentioned. She just got insanely mad, and kept telling around for months what a rude man I was. When she got mad, I felt a little power, a small revenge, even because in that moment I didn't give a fuck anymore about her, I just wanted her disappear from my life in the fastest (and for her most traumathic) possible way.
I totally understand what you say about trying to raise your value instead. But I'm also sure that this girl (who had this kind of attitute very often) somehow "learned the lesson" and changed her attitude later (I didn't mention that I also slightly threatened her).

I come from a culture where girls and boys put a lot of passion in relationship. My first girlfriend used to phisically beat me up when I was mean to her. Probably she did well, because I actually was mean, and she did all she could to affirm her rights to not be treaten like shit. If she didn't, probably she would have lost some self-esteem and I would have gained some, but somehow she won some battles. And she did it using phisical violence in a social enviroment (italian middle class) where beating up a woman is not socially accepted while if a woman beat you up, she must have had her reasons. I tell you this just to explain where some reaction can come from.

[Anon-A-Moose]

Had this happen 2-3 months ago. I asked her "what happened last night?", she replied with some bullshit. Just said "dont waste my time" and cut connections. Deleted her number. Ignored her when I saw her, didn't initiate contact and neither did she.

A month later I run into her at the bookstore, she initiates the conversation, and she's much more receptive. Apologizing in that half-assed way stupid girls do. Blew her off, though I could've restarted it. Just had a better prospect right there and was honestly bored of her. Though I think it works better when they're a 6, not an 8. Remember, they've got the initiative, unless you tug their emotions right they just find another guy (which she did, and her quality DID take a big dive). Gotta make her guilty, as she damn well should be, but at the same time be aloof and make it more like a "what a pain in the ass".

[aphelion]

This is a tough one. If you're going to respond to obvious disrespect, you have to ice them properly and not look like a baby for doing so. Remember the billboard test for your texts - do you really want 'u stupid cunt i hope you get aids' showing up in front of a stadium? How would James Bond respond? (granted, he'd swoop 100%, but if he got flaked on he'd retort with the grace and dismissiveness of a true player.)

[RandalGraves]

Getting angry, especially via text, comes off as very not aloof or outcome-independent.



Do you think Don Draper would curse a girl out over text?
Do you think James Bond would curse a girl out over text?
Do you think Tyler Durden would curse a girl out over text?
Do you think Arnold Schwarzenegger would curse a girl out over text?

If any one of these men was angry at a woman, he would communicate it face-to-face. The old fashioned way. Pixels on a screen don't demonstrate your masculine dominance, so don't even try. Ignoring is the greatest DHV.

[thegmanifesto]

(02-23-2013 08:08 AM)Garzero Wrote:  

Have you guys ever happened to call names a girl after she flaked? It happened to me a couple of times, one in my twenties and one in my thirties, both in similar situations (I meet a girl who starts flirting with me a lot, gives me an evident green light, telephone number, asks me to call to hang out ecc., and then she begins flaking in a way showing a huge disrespect and unpoliteness), and both these girls remained SHOCKED for days as I changed my attitude becoming rude by insulting them by sms, so that I thought I actually made them a favour somehow teaching them a lesson, and also had the strong feeling that I could restart the things and this time they would be more humble and affectionate.
So what's your experience about this?

You should have better things to do with your time.

Like, I don't know? Making money and swooping girls?

[snoop]

once you get into "teaching lessons" you've lost the interaction

[lush1]

(02-25-2013 09:59 PM)RandalGraves Wrote:  

Getting angry, especially via text, comes off as very not aloof or outcome-independent.



Do you think Don Draper would curse a girl out over text?
Do you think James Bond would curse a girl out over text?
Do you think Tyler Durden would curse a girl out over text?
Do you think Arnold Schwarzenegger would curse a girl out over text?

If any one of these men was angry at a woman, he would communicate it face-to-face. The old fashioned way. Pixels on a screen don't demonstrate your masculine dominance, so don't even try. Ignoring is the greatest DHV.

75% of those people aren't real.

[thegmanifesto]

(02-26-2013 03:10 PM)lush1 Wrote:  

(02-25-2013 09:59 PM)RandalGraves Wrote:  

Getting angry, especially via text, comes off as very not aloof or outcome-independent.



Do you think Don Draper would curse a girl out over text?
Do you think James Bond would curse a girl out over text?
Do you think Tyler Durden would curse a girl out over text?
Do you think Arnold Schwarzenegger would curse a girl out over text?

If any one of these men was angry at a woman, he would communicate it face-to-face. The old fashioned way. Pixels on a screen don't demonstrate your masculine dominance, so don't even try. Ignoring is the greatest DHV.

75% of those people aren't real.

Use Ian Flemming in place of James Bond.

I don't know who the other two guys are.