[east and west]

Recently read some posts by guys who are married. I can understand this forum would be GREAT for someone who is an international player, travels around the world swooping chicks, or a slightly more budget middle class traveler traveling occassionally to thailand, peru etc.
Curious to check why married people are interested...

Could be the folllowing:

1) not happy with current marriage (maybe with american woman), wants a divorse or something.
2) havent had enough fun in the past, got married too early. Recently got rich, and now wants to travel the world and swoop chicks with the new money
3) wants to keep a mistress on the side in some part of the world
4) wants to swoop chicks while traveling, not telling his wife.
5) gets satisfaction by seeing other younger people traveling and doing well with girls.
6) Live in a country where you can have many wives.

5) or personal motivations.

Do most people who are married want more women? whats your mentality after marriage?

[bhawthorne]

(02-07-2013 09:50 AM)east and west Wrote:  

Recently read some posts by guys who are married. I can understand this forum would be GREAT for someone who is an international player, travels around the world swooping chicks, or a slightly more budget middle class traveler traveling occassionally to thailand, peru etc.
Curious to check why married people are interested...

Could be the folllowing:

1) not happy with current marriage (maybe with american woman), wants a divorse or something.
2) havent had enough fun in the past, got married too early. Recently got rich, and now wants to travel the world and swoop chicks with the new money
3) wants to keep a mistress on the side in some part of the world
4) wants to swoop chicks while traveling, not telling his wife.
5) gets satisfaction by seeing other younger people traveling and doing well with girls.
6) Live in a country where you can have many wives.

5) or personal motivations.

Do most people who are married want more women? whats your mentality after marriage?

1, 3, & 4 for me

[Cincinnatus]

There's one fellow on here that's happily married but still likes some strange on the side.

There's another that's happily married to a Chinese woman and isn't looking for any strange, but offers advice to guys going to China.

And many others I'm sure for just as many reasons. There's a lot.

[Thomas the Rhymer]

(02-07-2013 09:50 AM)east and west Wrote:  

Recently read some posts by guys who are married. I can understand this forum would be GREAT for someone who is an international player...
Curious to check why married people are interested...

I'm not married, but all men have some need to belong to a group, and since aspects of game overlap into other areas of life (such as networking, holding a long term relationship, winning over colleagues at work, mastering your body, improving your health, etc etc) every man can learn something on this forum (this group of men) and contribute to different aspects of the game of games - life.

Probably the only other quality forum on the internet for men would be the Stronglifts forum, which was mostly about lifting weights but they used to talk about girls, life, jobs and other stuff. But it became a closed private paid-members only forum.

One shouldn't underestimate the need for a man to belong to a group. It's so strong that some men would rather cling to their fellow starcraft players through online gaming rather than go and try and get laid.

[UnderTheVolcano]

I'm 38 and happily married but I have to say that its almost a total accident. In other words I got lucky with my partner in ways I never even realized until I got on these forums. She lets me dominate without having to have learned game and the more I learn game the better our relationship has gotten. I was a pathetic beta in my 20s and early 30s and I'd love to be able go back in time and tell myself to man the fuck up. Slowly taking the red pill has made me understand all this.

I've also noticed that just by saying things to myself like "Does this add value to my life?" has helped my tremendously beyond relationships (getting back in shape, working on my business, being more of a man in my day-to-day life). And, women I work with or know socially have started to light up like fucking christmas trees by the way I've been acting towards them (more touching, not giving a fuck, etc...). Even though I'm currently not in the mindset to cheat with my wife (I'm a builder I guess), just seeing this small change in women's behavior has been really eye-opening. Based on what I've seen, experienced, and recollect from my past, most women are indeed self-rationalizing, in-the-moment beings who are unable to be completely trusted.

So I guess its 5 and 7 for me...

[east and west]

I also wished i knew about game when i was younger, like 20-21, when i didnt get any girls and spent money on hookers which waz my only way to get sex. I was really being pushed by others and i didnt stand up for myself.
Game ia really about life.

[Tytalus]

(02-07-2013 09:50 AM)east and west Wrote:  

Recently read some posts by guys who are married. I can understand this forum would be GREAT for someone who is an international player, travels around the world swooping chicks, or a slightly more budget middle class traveler traveling occassionally to thailand, peru etc.
Curious to check why married people are interested...

Could be the folllowing:

1) not happy with current marriage (maybe with american woman), wants a divorse or something.
2) havent had enough fun in the past, got married too early. Recently got rich, and now wants to travel the world and swoop chicks with the new money
3) wants to keep a mistress on the side in some part of the world
4) wants to swoop chicks while traveling, not telling his wife.
5) gets satisfaction by seeing other younger people traveling and doing well with girls.
6) Live in a country where you can have many wives.

7) or personal motivations.

Do most people who are married want more women? whats your mentality after marriage?

I first learned of game in 2005. Yes, back in the old days when things were just starting. I remember reading about how to flirt, how to read women, how to hold myself. There was no talk of alpha or beta on the websites I found. It was very neat, and I liked it, but used it for finding a wife.

I refound "game" as it had been called through Athol Kay, who I recommend for anyone who is married, or planning on getting married, on using game for a happy marriage. Through his blogroll and subsequent blogrolls I've found many other sites, including this one.

A bit of #1 and #7.

Let me explain on #1:

I didn't really think through what I really, really wanted out of life and a partner, but thought I had before I got married. The trouble with getting married is that you think you've thought things through, but once you move in with someone and make a huge commitment, you start realizing there are things that got missed.

For religious reasons, I've never been interested in slaying pussy, though I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to. I'm still a man after all. I wanted to raise a family more than I wanted to nail a lot of girls. I just didn't get the quality of wife (in some areas) that I wanted.

Pros of my current wife:
-we share the same religion (a small worldwide religion, the Baha'i Faith)
-we don't argue about religious/moral/spiritual beliefs (a big important thing for me) since we're the same religion.
-she actually likes men and doesn't bad mouth them (same goes for the other women in her family)
- doesn't gossip & backbite
- low maintenance (cons to this too unfortunately)
- not materialistic
-similar life goals (wanted a big family, wanted to be active in our religion, that kind of thing)
- understands my quirks and mild eccentricities, due to having a father who is almost literally a mad scientist.

cons
-had to stop having kids after 3. I wanted a bigger family.
-diabetic
-mental health issues that require medication. Once medication she is not a bitch with a hard on for screwing me over.
-hasn't take care of herself, is now only slightly thinking about it since she's done having kids.
-doesn't like to exercise much
- little interest in self improvement
- really not very attractive right now. Was 150 when we got married, now about 240, and is 5'4". She used to be maybe a 5.5 or 6 (huge breasts (F when we married, now is G), small waist, big hips, with a moderately attractive face.
- doesn't read the news, magazine or really much of anything beyond random posts on her facebook feed. I read blogs, magazines, newspapers with insatiable zeal for new information. This means talking to her about interesting things (to me) is difficult.
- we don't share any hobbies.
-I got exhausted from being religious all the time between kids, grad school, a full time job. She wanted to still be active, which meant that we didn't see each other much until I put my foot down.

And drumroll for the biggest one... At the time, I was still much more attractive than her. No idea where I fit now.

You know where it all went wrong? I wanted to get married so badly, I felt so terribly alone. I had given up and joined twodoves.net on a lark. We met, hit it off online, moved to the phone, hit it off even more. Except... that I got off the airplane and all I thought was, "she'll do."

Gentlemen, forgive me, for I settled.

I also didn't understand what it means when "mental illness runs in the family" and "I think I might be diabetic".

1.) Diabetes, or type 2 adult onset means she got too fat in the first place from not taking care of herself. Red Flag I missed. It's how she lost so much weight, she wasn't using insulin and the high blood sugar made her lose tons of weight.

2.) Mental Illness means she reacted badly to post partum depression. Like semi psychotic issues that require medication. Was such a total bitch to me that I had a hard time for a long time being around her.

3 doctors agreed that she had to have her tubes tied after the last pregnancy, which was really hard on her.

So now I have a wife that is resentful whenever I demand she remove her mustache (part of me dies whenever I have to admit this). I need to get my Male Action Plan (part of Athol Kay's guide to being Alpha) together, but part of me just doesn't want to.

I want out. I no longer care about having a religious wife, just not a "reformed" slut. I want someone who I can have fun with, and actually enjoy looking at inside of actually feeling like vomiting a little bit whenever I see her sitting down without a shirt on. Gentlemen, the sight is not pleasant. I never thought I'd find my own wife unattractive at times.

The #7 bit, is that in no way shape or form do I want my son, or daughers, but especially my son to be so freakin unprepared for the realities of the dating/marriage market.

I don't actually agree with sleeping around before marriage for a multitude of reasons. However. Between consenting adults, it's their own business, and their own row to hoe between them and God to figure out. Game forums like this are some of the best places for self improvement information. At some point, I may or may not divorce my wife, and may need to do some serious refresshing of my "game" skills.

[Asaxon]

Tytalus, your situation sounds tough. That being said, your awareness of what happened and your remaining options puts you into a position of relative power. How does your wife feel about your relationship? She might be unhappy as well which would make a potential split or arrangement easier. Do you still derive value from the relationship even though you feel sexually repulsed and intellectually bored?

[bacon]

(02-15-2013 04:08 AM)Asaxon Wrote:  

Tytalus, your situation sounds tough. That being said, your awareness of what happened and your remaining options puts you into a position of relative power. How does your wife feel about your relationship? She might be unhappy as well which would make a potential split or arrangement easier. Do you still derive value from the relationship even though you feel sexually repulsed and intellectually bored?

i am curious also. you gave a really candid post and i respect your honesty but i am cant understand why you stay in a situation which seems soo unbearable. im sure you love your kids but it seems like you are sacrificing your happiness. im not trying to judge, on the contrary, im just genuiely curious about your inner psychology with why you are not filing divorce papers tomorrow.

[ElBorrachoInfamoso]

Parlay has a post on this already. Use the search button.

[username]

(02-15-2013 05:20 AM)ElBorrachoInfamoso Wrote:  

Parlay has a post on this already. Use the search button.

Link: http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-16883.html

[Tytalus]

(02-15-2013 04:16 AM)bacon Wrote:  

(02-15-2013 04:08 AM)Asaxon Wrote:  

Tytalus, your situation sounds tough. That being said, your awareness of what happened and your remaining options puts you into a position of relative power. How does your wife feel about your relationship? She might be unhappy as well which would make a potential split or arrangement easier. Do you still derive value from the relationship even though you feel sexually repulsed and intellectually bored?

i am curious also. you gave a really candid post and i respect your honesty but i am cant understand why you stay in a situation which seems soo unbearable. im sure you love your kids but it seems like you are sacrificing your happiness. im not trying to judge, on the contrary, im just genuiely curious about your inner psychology with why you are not filing divorce papers tomorrow.

Not completely sure about how my wife feels. She just had baby #3 a month ago, so while I'm having difficulty with her appearance, I'm currently in a bit of a "wait and see" because she's been making noises about losing weight. After a woman has been pregnant, it is only fair to give her some time to lose the baby weight. The other thing is that she isn't breast feeding this baby (the mental health meds aren't good for babies) and so actually has a bit of a sex drive after the 3 week point, which is a nice plus.

I certainly do derive value from not being lonely. My wife spent 2 months visiting her family in Fiji and I'm not sure i've ever been so generally down for such a long period in my life. I really like and enjoy having a family, I mainly just wish I had a higher quality wife,.and regret not being more thorough in my investigation of her personality and more carefully studied the implications of marrying her. She is generally a good mother to the children, which gives me a good piece of mind.

My children are very emotionally fulfilling, and now that my wife is medicated, she is pleasant to be around. There's still lots of day to day stuff to talk about and plan for, I just wish for a bit more.

The thing to remember here guys is that I'm not sexually repulsed and bored with her 100% of the time, just far more than I'd like to me. It's more like I have moments of sexual repulsion, and if we try to do something in the evening, I get bored just watching tv, which is her go to thing to do. Playing video games is more entertaining than talking to her half the time, but upsetting, because I want to find her more engaging. I've gotten a scrabble set and will be buying a mouse for her laptop, we'll see if she can enjoy a MMO.

The other thing is that I do have a job (though I'm now on leave for 8 months) and a M.Sc thesis to write, so I do have other things to engage me.

The other thing is that a divorce would be financially devastating at this point in time. I need to finish my M.Sc in Stats, and with either that, or something else leverage a much higher income, or at least figure out how to do so post divorce to afford paying alimony, child support and have the funds to wife hunt.

Ah, also, I forgot to mention a critical point. What I did figure out is that when I first had sex with my ex, was how strong my urge to get a woman pregnant is.

I had done this meditation thing in high school, and tried it out again in university. I decided to try and talk to my inner animal... I found myself in a giant dark cave, and I saw this HUGE, ENORMOUS dragon. I walked closer to it, this eye bigger than I was tall opened and looked at me. I felt this sort of reaction in my body...And after that, how l looked at women had changed, what I found attractive had changed and I wanted to put babies into just about every woman I saw. That urge/instinct calmed down a bit, but has never really gone away. So, for religious reasons & because I wanted to be responsible, the best way to have babies is to get married.

This same urge is telling me now that my wife can't have kids anymore, to chuck and find a new female. It's hard to ignore it, especially when my wife is making so many displays of low value.

[kdolo]

(02-15-2013 11:34 AM)Tytalus Wrote:  

(02-15-2013 04:16 AM)bacon Wrote:  

(02-15-2013 04:08 AM)Asaxon Wrote:  

Tytalus, your situation sounds tough. That being said, your awareness of what happened and your remaining options puts you into a position of relative power. How does your wife feel about your relationship? She might be unhappy as well which would make a potential split or arrangement easier. Do you still derive value from the relationship even though you feel sexually repulsed and intellectually bored?

i am curious also. you gave a really candid post and i respect your honesty but i am cant understand why you stay in a situation which seems soo unbearable. im sure you love your kids but it seems like you are sacrificing your happiness. im not trying to judge, on the contrary, im just genuiely curious about your inner psychology with why you are not filing divorce papers tomorrow.

Not completely sure about how my wife feels. She just had baby #3 a month ago, so while I'm having difficulty with her appearance, I'm currently in a bit of a "wait and see" because she's been making noises about losing weight. After a woman has been pregnant, it is only fair to give her some time to lose the baby weight. The other thing is that she isn't breast feeding this baby (the mental health meds aren't good for babies) and so actually has a bit of a sex drive after the 3 week point, which is a nice plus.

I certainly do derive value from not being lonely. My wife spent 2 months visiting her family in Fiji and I'm not sure i've ever been so generally down for such a long period in my life. I really like and enjoy having a family, I mainly just wish I had a higher quality wife,.and regret not being more thorough in my investigation of her personality and more carefully studied the implications of marrying her. She is generally a good mother to the children, which gives me a good piece of mind.

My children are very emotionally fulfilling, and now that my wife is medicated, she is pleasant to be around. There's still lots of day to day stuff to talk about and plan for, I just wish for a bit more.

The thing to remember here guys is that I'm not sexually repulsed and bored with her 100% of the time, just far more than I'd like to me. It's more like I have moments of sexual repulsion, and if we try to do something in the evening, I get bored just watching tv, which is her go to thing to do. Playing video games is more entertaining than talking to her half the time, but upsetting, because I want to find her more engaging. I've gotten a scrabble set and will be buying a mouse for her laptop, we'll see if she can enjoy a MMO.

The other thing is that I do have a job (though I'm now on leave for 8 months) and a M.Sc thesis to write, so I do have other things to engage me.

The other thing is that a divorce would be financially devastating at this point in time. I need to finish my M.Sc in Stats, and with either that, or something else leverage a much higher income, or at least figure out how to do so post divorce to afford paying alimony, child support and have the funds to wife hunt.

Ah, also, I forgot to mention a critical point. What I did figure out is that when I first had sex with my ex, was how strong my urge to get a woman pregnant is.

I had done this meditation thing in high school, and tried it out again in university. I decided to try and talk to my inner animal... I found myself in a giant dark cave, and I saw this HUGE, ENORMOUS dragon. I walked closer to it, this eye bigger than I was tall opened and looked at me. I felt this sort of reaction in my body...And after that, how l looked at women had changed, what I found attractive had changed and I wanted to put babies into just about every woman I saw. That urge/instinct calmed down a bit, but has never really gone away. So, for religious reasons & because I wanted to be responsible, the best way to have babies is to get married.

This same urge is telling me now that my wife can't have kids anymore, to chuck and find a new female. It's hard to ignore it, especially when my wife is making so many displays of low value.

There is nothing unique about your story. You are the typical frustrated married man............ too bad your wife is not bad enough to justify divorce........You have 2 options:

1. suck it up
2. get a mistress

Your wife will not change - she's got you by the balls and she knows it....
good luck.

[worldwidetraveler]

(02-15-2013 11:34 AM)Tytalus Wrote:  

I need to finish my M.Sc in Stats, and with either that, or something else leverage a much higher income, or at least figure out how to do so post divorce to afford paying alimony, child support and have the funds to wife hunt.

Let me get this straight, you want to divorce your current wife who you have 3 kids with in order to get a new wife so you will be stuck in the same situation but with a new woman?

Do you really think that is a good plan?

[Menace]

Isn't it simpler just to cheat once in a while? Divorcing to re-marry makes no sense at all.

[Tytalus]

Sorry for the late reply guys, I checked for a reply for the first couple days then figured no one would respond.

Kdulo, you're calling it correctly, unfortunately.

worldwidetraveller & Menace, I'm not in the habit of impregnating women I'm not married to anymore. Tried that once in college and it just ended with my gf at the time getting an abortion. I place a high value on having children of my own, something that is not common around here, I agree. Having a genetic legacy is something I'd like to have.

I've done some thinking since I first wrote this post. Do you guys realize that my wife had spontaneous orgasms looking at me for the first month we knew each other? Probably says something about our comparative SR, or just how high on the attraction scale I was for her. I largely fucked it up all by myself too. Between an unrecognized porn addiction before hand and excessive computer use (WoW, SWTOR, internet surfing) and just plain old not the right alpha/beta mix... I created a monster just about entirely on my own.

That she gained so much weight is partially 3 pregnancies, and partially emotional eating problems.