[upandcoming1]

Let me say i write this for myself,and maybe its because im young but I have noticed that you must always be on your toes.
You can never if at all show a girl rarely any emotion besides laughter, and u can rarely let her be assertive in the bed room because for some reason she will try to bring this outside of the bed room,and i speak from my experience.
To conclude, i have learnt to never give the girl a inch of breathing room and never call and text her for days in a row...because in the end you sat up more hurdles fr yourself.

[Willy Wonka]

(05-12-2010 09:03 PM)upandcoming1 Wrote:  

never call and text her for days in a row...because in the end you sat up more hurdles fr yourself.

Of course, once you move in with her, not calling her or texting her for days in a row isn't going to matter much anymore....


But, yeah, what you said is on point for casual and new relationships for sure.... actual serious LTRs will and can be a bit different though.

[hydrogonian]

You make some good points for very early in the relationship, except for the bedroom thing. I don't think that matters much. As long as your dominant often enough, you can let her have fun in her own way as well.

But remember, in the end, if your molding your behavior around her, instead of training her behavior to match your expectations, than you've already lost the larger and more important game. Even if she never sees you do anything but laugh.

If its cool and okay to cry, for instance, because everything about you says that it is, than it will be. If you aren't sure or are insecure about it, than it won't be okay.

If your doing it right, then you can laugh, cry, fart, and pretty much do anything that you want, and she'll still be very interested in you. The only emotions that are still off limits, to a point, are anger, jealousy, rage, neediness and others in that general category.

Of course, you can express all of those things as well, but you are more likely to lose control in your management of her feelings toward you if you do. Thats because these feelings come from a place of insecurity, lack of choice in women or a general lack of control over your emotions. These characteristics are the largest turnoffs for most women.

[Giovonny]

(05-12-2010 09:03 PM)upandcoming1 Wrote:  

i have learnt to never give the girl a inch of breathing room

Easy young Playa, You are taking this shit too serious. "Never give a girl an inch of breathing room". This is good advice if you are a Pimp and you are "training a ho" (which is not a glamorous or rewarding lifestyle). But if you are just a college kid trying to chase a few skirts around campus, then this is to "extreme", there is no reason to be this mean and demanding. You will probably scare away alot of good prospects because you might seem like you are trying to hard to be a "tough guy". Yes, some girls with major issues do want to be treated bad, but in my experience, you can shag more girls just by being a cool, laid back, yet strong dude.

You remind me of myself when i was in my late teens, early 20's. I thought that i could be the baddest dude in town by not taking any shit from anyone, including bitches. But as I got older I realized that by being this way, I was actually losing alot of girls, most girls don't respond well to being treated bad. Seems obvious right! A few girls will gravitate towards your Pimping, but what about the smart girls, the athletic girls, the healthy girls, the outdoorsy girls, the model-actress girls, the small town girls, the academic girls, the fashion girls, the coffee shop girls, etc. Most of these girls want a guy who is not so uptight. If you think about it, being to hard on your girl is actually a sign of "neediness".

I agree that you should not show any weakness or neediness to a girl early on, but after you have banged her a few times and you guys become freindly, it might be okay to let your guard down a little. If you don't she might start thinking that you are a little weird or that you are insecure.

In the long run, I feel you will have more success treating girls good then you will treating girls bad.

But, you are on the right track. Just adjust your game to fit the girl. And keep us updated young playboy.

[Nonpareil]

True and everyone has it right, relationships are all about compromise. If you refuse to compromise, you'll never have a good relationship. Sometimes you need to stand your ground and not give in to the crying and the screaming and the shaming, but other times you have to ask yourself; 'Am I really looking like the man by not getting my girl a drink when i'm already going to the kitchen anyways, or am I looking like an asshole?'

I'm not saying to break your back going out of your way to curry favor with your girl, but doing it selectively is beneficial to a relationship.

Another thing I see a lot of guys in relationships fucking up is knowing when to scale back the asshole game. Asshole game is handy in the following situations;

- During the pickup.
- During the first few dates.
- When she's throwing out shit tests to see how you'll react on those dates.
- When she's acting like an entitled snob.

There's a time and a place for asshole game, but you should backscale it the more you get involved with the girl. Some is still necessary because it keeps your game sharp and keeps her honest, but after dating a girl for a year, she says that she loves you, you bang without a condom and blast inside her and are like 'I don't care because I could have a kid with this broad', you gotta scale it back. There's no need to get nuclear with the negs on a girl who loves you and isn't going anywhere.