Alright lads?
I've been thinking of posting this for a while, just my introduction to the red pill and how I've changed because of it, particularly since what I like to call "the epiphany girl". Hopefully some people will relate and hopefully some of the guys I see in the newbie forum will be able to get some inspiration from it knowing that they're not the only ones that have gone through what they've gone through.
If we rewind exactly a year, I was just starting a new job, I hadn't got laid in 6 months and prior to that lay it'd been 2 years, I was skinny as fuck, depressed and scared to escalate sexually with girls through fear of being a creep.
The girl I had sex with 6 months before ended up being a real blow to me. It was a really hard blow, but being the beta I was, it stupidly wasn't enough for me to learn.
I've posted about it in a thread on here about the most beta thing you've ever done with a girl and this is it.
I worked in a telesales office, I was smarter, more articulate and in general more sane than the other people I was working with but I wasn't pulling or shagging girls like some of the guys in the office. I put it down to higher standards at the time. The HR girl there (7) at around March/April time when we would all go out drinking on a Friday started introducing me to new people and anyone else as "my future husband". She used to bathe me in compliments about how I was different to everyone else, how "handsome" I am, how far I'd go in life, how I'm "husband material" and all that shit.
Now, as I said, it'd been 2 years since I last got laid. Girl + attention = oneitis.
So in my head I started liking this girl, focusing on her good points and ignoring the bad, and I got jealous very easily when other guys looked at her and got pissed off when people checked her out "as if she was a piece of meat."
One night, I had a showdown with her. Told her I couldn't deal with her calling me her future husband and that I wanted to be with her. I told her she was destroying herself, fucking people that didn't give a shit about her and drinking too much alcohol and doing too many drugs. I said she needed to stop and that I'd help her and be there for her (cringe).
She started crying and agreed with me about the drinking and the drugs and all that, but said she fucks people because it's easier to fuck than to talk. I knew she had a reputation for being on the cock carousel, my mates at work had told me about when they fucked her, but I persisted.
Anyway, later on that night we were in the upstairs of a pub. She told me she wanted to be with me and she wanted to do things properly. We had sex, I went home and felt pretty good about myself.
The next night she had sex with the barman of that pub after a session of drinking and doing coke. For the second time that week. Ouch.
I got even more depressed, I left the company about 6 weeks later and tried to move on. The next year was when I realised I had to do something about how I was with women. I had no sexual encounters for another year.
One evening stands out to me which was the turning point. There was a girl that lived by me (9) that was about 5'1, Middle Eastern, toned legs, a slim body and massive tits. We'd seen each other a couple of times before walking the same direction home and on the train but this one night I caught her checking me out. I kind of just smiled at her.
I got home and was raging all night that I didn't do anything about it. I should've got her number, I should've said hi, I should be splashing my precious DNA all over her gigantic tits. But I didn't have the balls to say hi and I didn't even know what to say.
So that was that, I had to change somehow. I'd heard of PUAs before because my flatmate knew someone that was one but he'd moved to South America to travel.
I used to post on a football forum a lot, that's what I did with my spare time. There was a chat room feature on there that a lot of people used and a few of us were talking about girls we'd fucked up with before and exchanging pictures. I showed 3 pictures of girls no lower than an 8 that I'd fucked up with in my past and felt like a champ for being associated with those girls, even though it was my fault for being too much of a pussy that I never had sex with them. (If you want to see the pictures, PM me).
One guy on there, affectionately known as bojangles on here, started telling me about game and pick up. I'd seen him on the forums getting slated left right and centre because of his views on feminism, being known for being a slut and he even had his username changed by a mod of the forum taking the piss out of his slutty ways.
He sent me a few blogs to read, gave me his number and said we should go out some time and he'd show me the ropes. I think it was about 2 weeks after missing out on that girl in my area where I finally sent him a text saying I couldn't go on as I was any more. I was still reeling over not chatting to her and I told him all about what happened and my life, how I'd been depressed and that I needed to change.
I always thought of myself as someone that could pull lots of girls, but I never truly believed it. The more I delved into the manosphere, the more sense it made to me and I still didn't totally believe I could be "that guy" who has a handful of chicks he's fucking at any one time. I questioned it for months.
We went out on the first day and I did one approach. I was pushed into it, forcing me to break that comfort zone and I declined at first. We stood there, outside a bar with drinks in our hands watching a nice looking brown girl on the other side of the road that I'd pointed out (7.5) looking around lost. After about 15-20 seconds of mulling it over and some negs being thrown at me, I thought "fuck it" and went for it.
"Shit, is she gonna call me a creep, is she gonna slap me, is she gonna take the piss out of me?" Answer, no. I fucked it up, I was nervous as hell and she could tell but she seemed to appreciate it all the same and said I was cute. Walking away from her and back to bojangles I felt like a champ, even though I'd done shite. I could see with some fine tuning how this would go though. I couldn't just walk away from all of this now.
The next couple of months we worked on mostly my inner game, getting confidence, knowing how to dress right, understanding why girls do what they do and how game works. I hit the gym and put on 8kg of pure muscle in the following 2-3 months, and I transitioned from a nervous, skinny beta into a new person.
My first lay after discovering the red pill was this girl (the top one). Bojangles had just started dating an Italian girl and her friend was due to come over for a week on holiday. We arranged to go out on a Saturday night and have some food and drink. On the Friday night we found out it wasn't the 4 of us, but her cousin was coming too. Fuck!
Anyway, that night is the night where the months of graft, self improvement and learning came into play. Literally everything I ever thought about women and how to seduce them I threw out the window that night. The things I thought you shouldn't say to a girl because it wouldn't make them interested in you I was saying and it was working. I was gobsmacked and the girl was all over me. She was a classy, feminine girl that was dressed up nicely and she was all over me at this bar where I was wearing a jumper and jeans. People all over the place were staring at us.
I told this girl I had 3 girls I was dating and she started DHVing me herself, calling me a badboy and all this. I was getting more and more confident and she was getting hornier and hornier. The girls got rid of the 5th wheel me and HB9 spent the rest of the night out making out.
That was the Saturday night. We saw them again on Sunday night and me and bojangles fucked our girls on the beds next to each other in the bedroom. By Monday morning this girl was in love with me. Go back in time 8 months and tell me I'd get an Italian girl as hot as she was to fall in love with me as quick as that and I wouldn't have believed you. I didn't see her again until Wednesday where again I spent the night, and she was far gone. Totally fallen. I couldn't believe how this shit worked.
However, she returned home and I'd turned fully beta with her. I'd fallen for her too, it was hard not to. The first girl I'd fucked in a long time, the hottest girl I'd ever fucked at the time and I'd invested like an idiot. Within two weeks we stopped speaking after we'd even planned meeting up again and all that. It took me about 6 weeks to recover.
This is what I like to call "the epiphany girl". The girl that makes you realise what changes you have to make within yourself to protect yourself, how to view women so as to fuck more and be motivated to fuck more, and to focus on the people you should really value in your life. This girl changed my life in such a dramatic, positive way and she has absolutely no idea about it.
Here's the thing, I've seen guys on here and very much recently saying about trying to patch things up with girls after breaking up with them. Like you have to try correct your mistakes but it just doesn't work like that. I was beaten up over this, ask bojangles. I was a mess for 6 weeks, my head was cloudy all the time thinking about what I'd done wrong, if I came across as too bad a person to her and she couldn't trust me, if I'd made her too jealous when she was away in Italy, if I'd exposed too much of myself to her whilst long gaming her to take away the mystery that got her interested. I'd got the scarcity mentality over her. I told people she was the girl I'd always wanted on my arm ever since I was a kid, all that shit. I should make amends! No, wrong. I'm glad I didn't even try.
I read a blog post, I think Roosh retweeted it, about being "that guy". It was about not being the guy who frets to his mates about how he should text a girl when he's trying to pull her, how he's thinking about what she's doing, why she's not texting back and all this shit, but on the other side of things this girl isn't doing any of this behaviour with her mates.
Don't be that guy. And I was. All I could think of was that she was probably sitting all that way away not giving a shite about me while I was busy being a miserable bastard and sucking the life out of everywhere I was going. This is when I turned. I looked at things objectively, looked at myself and what I'd become. I was the guy that the manosphere takes the piss out of and I hated it. I had to change. I was losing the respect of my best friend and I'd thrown everything I'd learned out of the window.
You see, at this point in time, I really learned the value of the people you should spend your time with. I cut people out of my life who were holding me back. I looked at bojangles and the person he had made me so far, and the person I could become, and realised what was and who was really important to me and I had to stick by them.
Was all of the pain worth it though? Yes, absolutely. This is how a man learns to be a man, not to take shit from anyone and sets a standard for himself never to be a bitchy, whiney prick again. I truly believe every guy, to get a better view of life and women, has to have this epiphany girl. It's the water to swallow the red pill with.
I learned that there is no snowflake, no unicorn, no special girl that is unlike all the others, that there is no "she's different". This is what I'd previously thought my girl. A guy would happily with no second thought run the lengths of the world for a woman but the woman would leave him bleeding on the side of the road with no remorse if it suits her better. Why should I take that shit any more?
In the coming months I would realise that pretty much every girl will word for word react to you gaming her the same. That was a stark realisation to me and only further cemented what I'd now started thinking about women and how there was no "the one". This is why the obvious advice to anyone struggling after a break up is to fuck other chicks. Sure, it'll help you get over the physical element of getting laid, but mentally you will see that the girl you were hung up about reacted the same to your game that the next 5, 10, 20 girls will. What substance is there to tear them apart from one another? Different looks and interests, sure. But on an interaction level, how people will fall for other people, it's all the same programming just in a different body. That's what you learn from gaming other girls.
After the realisation, I went out to a party at the weekend and then to a club. I pulled an 18 year old Hollister girl (8.5) at the party and at the club, separated from her and pulled an Arab girl who was my age at the club who was DTF but logistics unfortunately let me down as she was only in London that night. Some of us went back to the party house and I spent the night with the Hollister girl.
The next morning I sent bojangles a text: "I'm back"
Since then, I've only got stronger and stronger with the red pill. I've turned into an asshole with women to good effects, people at work know me as a womaniser, they don't talk down to me, that treat me as a "typical man" that is rude and bosses people about only caring for himself. Good.
Our priorities are more focused elsewhere this year but we are still gaming girls as you can see on these boards. That's my "red pill story" and I wouldn't change any of it because it's made me into the ruthless person I am today. Without that epiphany girl, I can 100% say that I wouldn't be this far down the line. The red pill has changed my life in so many ways, it has ended my depression, I look better, I feel better, I'm financially better off and the girls are coming in. I have a real sense of direction of where I'm heading in life to break away from the matrix.
The epiphany girl has since hit the wall at an alarming rate, by the way.![[Image: banana.gif]](https://rooshvforum.network/images/smilies/new/banana.gif)
I've been thinking of posting this for a while, just my introduction to the red pill and how I've changed because of it, particularly since what I like to call "the epiphany girl". Hopefully some people will relate and hopefully some of the guys I see in the newbie forum will be able to get some inspiration from it knowing that they're not the only ones that have gone through what they've gone through.
If we rewind exactly a year, I was just starting a new job, I hadn't got laid in 6 months and prior to that lay it'd been 2 years, I was skinny as fuck, depressed and scared to escalate sexually with girls through fear of being a creep.
The girl I had sex with 6 months before ended up being a real blow to me. It was a really hard blow, but being the beta I was, it stupidly wasn't enough for me to learn.
I've posted about it in a thread on here about the most beta thing you've ever done with a girl and this is it.
I worked in a telesales office, I was smarter, more articulate and in general more sane than the other people I was working with but I wasn't pulling or shagging girls like some of the guys in the office. I put it down to higher standards at the time. The HR girl there (7) at around March/April time when we would all go out drinking on a Friday started introducing me to new people and anyone else as "my future husband". She used to bathe me in compliments about how I was different to everyone else, how "handsome" I am, how far I'd go in life, how I'm "husband material" and all that shit.
Now, as I said, it'd been 2 years since I last got laid. Girl + attention = oneitis.
So in my head I started liking this girl, focusing on her good points and ignoring the bad, and I got jealous very easily when other guys looked at her and got pissed off when people checked her out "as if she was a piece of meat."
One night, I had a showdown with her. Told her I couldn't deal with her calling me her future husband and that I wanted to be with her. I told her she was destroying herself, fucking people that didn't give a shit about her and drinking too much alcohol and doing too many drugs. I said she needed to stop and that I'd help her and be there for her (cringe).
She started crying and agreed with me about the drinking and the drugs and all that, but said she fucks people because it's easier to fuck than to talk. I knew she had a reputation for being on the cock carousel, my mates at work had told me about when they fucked her, but I persisted.
Anyway, later on that night we were in the upstairs of a pub. She told me she wanted to be with me and she wanted to do things properly. We had sex, I went home and felt pretty good about myself.
The next night she had sex with the barman of that pub after a session of drinking and doing coke. For the second time that week. Ouch.
I got even more depressed, I left the company about 6 weeks later and tried to move on. The next year was when I realised I had to do something about how I was with women. I had no sexual encounters for another year.
One evening stands out to me which was the turning point. There was a girl that lived by me (9) that was about 5'1, Middle Eastern, toned legs, a slim body and massive tits. We'd seen each other a couple of times before walking the same direction home and on the train but this one night I caught her checking me out. I kind of just smiled at her.
I got home and was raging all night that I didn't do anything about it. I should've got her number, I should've said hi, I should be splashing my precious DNA all over her gigantic tits. But I didn't have the balls to say hi and I didn't even know what to say.
So that was that, I had to change somehow. I'd heard of PUAs before because my flatmate knew someone that was one but he'd moved to South America to travel.
I used to post on a football forum a lot, that's what I did with my spare time. There was a chat room feature on there that a lot of people used and a few of us were talking about girls we'd fucked up with before and exchanging pictures. I showed 3 pictures of girls no lower than an 8 that I'd fucked up with in my past and felt like a champ for being associated with those girls, even though it was my fault for being too much of a pussy that I never had sex with them. (If you want to see the pictures, PM me).
One guy on there, affectionately known as bojangles on here, started telling me about game and pick up. I'd seen him on the forums getting slated left right and centre because of his views on feminism, being known for being a slut and he even had his username changed by a mod of the forum taking the piss out of his slutty ways.
He sent me a few blogs to read, gave me his number and said we should go out some time and he'd show me the ropes. I think it was about 2 weeks after missing out on that girl in my area where I finally sent him a text saying I couldn't go on as I was any more. I was still reeling over not chatting to her and I told him all about what happened and my life, how I'd been depressed and that I needed to change.
I always thought of myself as someone that could pull lots of girls, but I never truly believed it. The more I delved into the manosphere, the more sense it made to me and I still didn't totally believe I could be "that guy" who has a handful of chicks he's fucking at any one time. I questioned it for months.
We went out on the first day and I did one approach. I was pushed into it, forcing me to break that comfort zone and I declined at first. We stood there, outside a bar with drinks in our hands watching a nice looking brown girl on the other side of the road that I'd pointed out (7.5) looking around lost. After about 15-20 seconds of mulling it over and some negs being thrown at me, I thought "fuck it" and went for it.
"Shit, is she gonna call me a creep, is she gonna slap me, is she gonna take the piss out of me?" Answer, no. I fucked it up, I was nervous as hell and she could tell but she seemed to appreciate it all the same and said I was cute. Walking away from her and back to bojangles I felt like a champ, even though I'd done shite. I could see with some fine tuning how this would go though. I couldn't just walk away from all of this now.
The next couple of months we worked on mostly my inner game, getting confidence, knowing how to dress right, understanding why girls do what they do and how game works. I hit the gym and put on 8kg of pure muscle in the following 2-3 months, and I transitioned from a nervous, skinny beta into a new person.
My first lay after discovering the red pill was this girl (the top one). Bojangles had just started dating an Italian girl and her friend was due to come over for a week on holiday. We arranged to go out on a Saturday night and have some food and drink. On the Friday night we found out it wasn't the 4 of us, but her cousin was coming too. Fuck!
Anyway, that night is the night where the months of graft, self improvement and learning came into play. Literally everything I ever thought about women and how to seduce them I threw out the window that night. The things I thought you shouldn't say to a girl because it wouldn't make them interested in you I was saying and it was working. I was gobsmacked and the girl was all over me. She was a classy, feminine girl that was dressed up nicely and she was all over me at this bar where I was wearing a jumper and jeans. People all over the place were staring at us.
I told this girl I had 3 girls I was dating and she started DHVing me herself, calling me a badboy and all this. I was getting more and more confident and she was getting hornier and hornier. The girls got rid of the 5th wheel me and HB9 spent the rest of the night out making out.
That was the Saturday night. We saw them again on Sunday night and me and bojangles fucked our girls on the beds next to each other in the bedroom. By Monday morning this girl was in love with me. Go back in time 8 months and tell me I'd get an Italian girl as hot as she was to fall in love with me as quick as that and I wouldn't have believed you. I didn't see her again until Wednesday where again I spent the night, and she was far gone. Totally fallen. I couldn't believe how this shit worked.
However, she returned home and I'd turned fully beta with her. I'd fallen for her too, it was hard not to. The first girl I'd fucked in a long time, the hottest girl I'd ever fucked at the time and I'd invested like an idiot. Within two weeks we stopped speaking after we'd even planned meeting up again and all that. It took me about 6 weeks to recover.
This is what I like to call "the epiphany girl". The girl that makes you realise what changes you have to make within yourself to protect yourself, how to view women so as to fuck more and be motivated to fuck more, and to focus on the people you should really value in your life. This girl changed my life in such a dramatic, positive way and she has absolutely no idea about it.
Here's the thing, I've seen guys on here and very much recently saying about trying to patch things up with girls after breaking up with them. Like you have to try correct your mistakes but it just doesn't work like that. I was beaten up over this, ask bojangles. I was a mess for 6 weeks, my head was cloudy all the time thinking about what I'd done wrong, if I came across as too bad a person to her and she couldn't trust me, if I'd made her too jealous when she was away in Italy, if I'd exposed too much of myself to her whilst long gaming her to take away the mystery that got her interested. I'd got the scarcity mentality over her. I told people she was the girl I'd always wanted on my arm ever since I was a kid, all that shit. I should make amends! No, wrong. I'm glad I didn't even try.
I read a blog post, I think Roosh retweeted it, about being "that guy". It was about not being the guy who frets to his mates about how he should text a girl when he's trying to pull her, how he's thinking about what she's doing, why she's not texting back and all this shit, but on the other side of things this girl isn't doing any of this behaviour with her mates.
Don't be that guy. And I was. All I could think of was that she was probably sitting all that way away not giving a shite about me while I was busy being a miserable bastard and sucking the life out of everywhere I was going. This is when I turned. I looked at things objectively, looked at myself and what I'd become. I was the guy that the manosphere takes the piss out of and I hated it. I had to change. I was losing the respect of my best friend and I'd thrown everything I'd learned out of the window.
You see, at this point in time, I really learned the value of the people you should spend your time with. I cut people out of my life who were holding me back. I looked at bojangles and the person he had made me so far, and the person I could become, and realised what was and who was really important to me and I had to stick by them.
Was all of the pain worth it though? Yes, absolutely. This is how a man learns to be a man, not to take shit from anyone and sets a standard for himself never to be a bitchy, whiney prick again. I truly believe every guy, to get a better view of life and women, has to have this epiphany girl. It's the water to swallow the red pill with.
I learned that there is no snowflake, no unicorn, no special girl that is unlike all the others, that there is no "she's different". This is what I'd previously thought my girl. A guy would happily with no second thought run the lengths of the world for a woman but the woman would leave him bleeding on the side of the road with no remorse if it suits her better. Why should I take that shit any more?
In the coming months I would realise that pretty much every girl will word for word react to you gaming her the same. That was a stark realisation to me and only further cemented what I'd now started thinking about women and how there was no "the one". This is why the obvious advice to anyone struggling after a break up is to fuck other chicks. Sure, it'll help you get over the physical element of getting laid, but mentally you will see that the girl you were hung up about reacted the same to your game that the next 5, 10, 20 girls will. What substance is there to tear them apart from one another? Different looks and interests, sure. But on an interaction level, how people will fall for other people, it's all the same programming just in a different body. That's what you learn from gaming other girls.
After the realisation, I went out to a party at the weekend and then to a club. I pulled an 18 year old Hollister girl (8.5) at the party and at the club, separated from her and pulled an Arab girl who was my age at the club who was DTF but logistics unfortunately let me down as she was only in London that night. Some of us went back to the party house and I spent the night with the Hollister girl.
The next morning I sent bojangles a text: "I'm back"
Since then, I've only got stronger and stronger with the red pill. I've turned into an asshole with women to good effects, people at work know me as a womaniser, they don't talk down to me, that treat me as a "typical man" that is rude and bosses people about only caring for himself. Good.
Our priorities are more focused elsewhere this year but we are still gaming girls as you can see on these boards. That's my "red pill story" and I wouldn't change any of it because it's made me into the ruthless person I am today. Without that epiphany girl, I can 100% say that I wouldn't be this far down the line. The red pill has changed my life in so many ways, it has ended my depression, I look better, I feel better, I'm financially better off and the girls are coming in. I have a real sense of direction of where I'm heading in life to break away from the matrix.
The epiphany girl has since hit the wall at an alarming rate, by the way.
![[Image: banana-phone.jpg]](http://assets.flavorwire.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/banana-phone.jpg)
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