[dealer10]

I'm in the middle of a way too long dry spell that coincided w/ a breakup with a 3 yr stripper girlfriend wherein I slowly turned back into a beta.

That relationship started when I was in college. Back then girls my age were everywhere and it was very easy to have an abundance mentality. I never approached girls back then either, but I'd run into them in so many different scenarios that it wasn't necessary.

Now I'm a few years out of college and do not have the same capacity to just run into girls at different places at different random times so I don't see how to get out of this rut without beginning to approach.

Here's my issue with it ....

I feel as if anytime I go up to a girl and initiate a conversation that I am giving away my power. The implications make me feel as if I have to be the one working to get her interested and the idea that she potentially might not even want to talk to me creeps into my head--I start second guessing the things I do and am not able to portray my otherwise super confident attitude. These issues don't come up when I can frame the situation such that she is the one who keeps managing to run into me and come up w/ reasons to talk to me.

I do okay with observational openers that are indirect based on something happening around us, but those are oftentimes difficult to come up with and execute well. Even then, conversations don't tend to last particularly long.

How do I get around these issues I have? How can I find ways to frame my approaches such that I have higher value than her and that she should be putting in the work to get to know me?

Thanks.

[reino341]

You have two threads bro, the other one is on Newbie forum.

[AlbertoDelMuerto]

Just approach saying 'Hey there beautiful, what's up?' Find out where she lives, get her contact info, and get out. If this method does not work, go indirect, read DAY BANG.

[dealer10]

(01-25-2013 01:22 PM)reino341 Wrote:  

You have two threads bro, the other one is on Newbie forum.

I realized this wasn't a newbie question and probably wasn't going to get the best advice there. This is an issue of looking for ways to display value upon approaching.

One way I know to do this is by opening with a neg but I haven't found many canned negs that work well in an opener. If somebody had a list that would be great.

[the virgin chronicles]

Dude, you do NOT need to open with a neg to get a girl to talk with you. I would just learn to go direct.

You're getting in your head a little bit. I would just start going direct on these girls. This is Roosh's forum and he has a cool indirect method, but indirect can also be really aggravating. It's like you have a big secret that you're hiding from the girl--you can't even ask if she has a boyfriend, and she can't tell why the hell you want to keep talking to her.

I would much rather go direct. It filters out the girls very quickly. You know if they don't want to talk to you or if they have a boyfriend because they'll just leave, which is just rejection.

If you're interested, watch some of Simple Pickup's videos + Project Go (google Project Go torrent).
I would also read Nick Krauser's book and watch the dudes from daygame.com (Andy Yosha, Yad, Tom Torrero, etc)

I think direct game is a lot easier, and you can literally go back to the college you went to and start hitting on girls on campus there. You'll be surprised with how many girls will be cool about it.

[Ovid]

Your confidence is expressed in the way you walk, carry yourself, dress, and speak. It shows up in your eyes and expression
when you say hello to a girl. When you open a girl, you're condescending to share some of your awesomeness with her. She's a shy thing because she's pretty and so everyone's pretty much always done everything for her. To overcome her shyness, you have to open the conversation, otherwise she would most likely not be able to, poor thing. Insulting her, subtly or otherwise, won't do a bit of good unless she needs to be brought down to earth, but you have no way to know that until you speak to her.

If you exercise common sense and don't do things like approaching married women who are with their husbands, very few girls will positively not want to talk to you -and if they do not, hey, it's their loss, they're probably on their period and bitchy, or are going somewhere. Usually the woman only refuses polite conversation if your opener and follow ups don't grab her, which is more of a calibration issue and has nothing to do with a girl's innate willingness to entertain your offer. Most will reject your offer, but if you do your part, that won't be your fault.

[WestIndianArchie]

You're over thinking this.

Go out every night for the next month, don't take a night off, and do DIRECT approaches.

1. go to bar, lounge, top end restaurant, et cetera
2. see girl
3. walk over to her, with nothing on your mind
4. "hey"

No negs, no compliments, no opinions, no observations, no jokes, no gimmicks, no goggles, no furry hats, no moon boots, no custom suit,

Just "Hey"

WIA

[Sebastian]

I feel as if anytime I go up to a girl and initiate a conversation that I am giving away my power. The implications make me feel as if I have to be the one working to get her interested and the idea that she potentially might not even want to talk to me creeps into my head
-----------------------------
How stupid does it sound to you if a sales man with an average product just sit there and wait for the customer because of his Ego?

Of course, you have to approach since you are a guy. (you don't have to if you are famous and she recognizes you)
she might not want to talk to you too. that's just the way it is.

Once you realize that's just the nature, you will feel more comfortable.

[LaPastillaRoja]

Just be confident man, in whatever your doing, be it ordering drinks, talking to friends, dancing, etc. Girls can weed out a beta quite quickly so you have to have an air of confidence about you and women will be drawn to it. Approaching will become easier, and you will feel more in control of the situation.

[Days of Broken Arrows]

Going online might help. Online dating has become so prevalent that I'm starting to think women are more comfortable "vetting" guys online.

It won't kill you to make an OKCupid profile. They're free and if you don't want to "give away power," say you're in a long distance relationship and just want female company. Women love taken guys, esp. after they've had a few. Plus you can make them pay if it's supposedly "platonic."

[XXL]

I think your problems come from selling yourself to girls and anxiety it causes

(01-25-2013 12:45 PM)dealer10 Wrote:  

I feel as if anytime I go up to a girl and initiate a conversation that I am giving away my power.

What do you mean by giving away your power? Examples?

(01-25-2013 12:45 PM)dealer10 Wrote:  

The implications make me feel as if I have to be the one working to get her interested and the idea that she potentially might not even want to talk to me creeps into my head--I start second guessing the things I do and am not able to portray my otherwise super confident attitude.

Why do you think you need to make extra effort to get her interested? YOU should be interested in the girl and wanting to get to know her instead of selling yourself to her to be purchased.

(01-25-2013 12:45 PM)dealer10 Wrote:  

These issues don't come up when I can frame the situation such that she is the one who keeps managing to run into me and come up w/ reasons to talk to me.

What do you mean by framing the situation such that she is the one who keeps managing to run into you and come up w/ reasons to talk to you? Examples?