For most my youth, I've had a mildish-moderate stutter. It was so bad to a point that my school had went out of its way to get me speech therapy. Granted now, it isnt as bad as it once was, but how can I overcome this in terms of game? It isn't so much the stutter itself, but rather the desire to NOT stutter, which ends up messing things up. It disrupts eye contact, forces me to use synonms for other words, and the like, and generally helps give off a bad vibe.
Problems with speech
From what I've heard in some cases, if you are surrounded by friends/family that also tend to stutter or don't have strong social skills (i.e. being able to effectively articulate ideas/opinions), you may end up picking up the same habits. It's along the same principle that your social personality follows that of the trend of your close social circle.
I also had a mild stutter when I was younger, and found that as I became more sociable and associated myself with more 'experienced' people (older, more successful people or just people that are confident in who they are and the direction that they're heading in), I found myself stuttering less and less. This is because when I would listen to their life experiences, their advice, and their stories of hardship, they articulated it very well because they were submerged in these circumstances and thus had a more pronounced understanding of what they were talking about. So when I found myself in similar situations or conversations, I had a better understanding of what I was getting into, and modified the information I learned to adapt it to my own experience. That way, when I would socialize with others, I was confident in what I was saying, and it's a polarizing feeling from socializing with others and worrying about if it came out the right way or worrying about how you articulated what you said.
I don't know what kind of people you hang out with, or what type of person you are. Perhaps you can start off by looking at the type of people you socialize with. From a game situation, it all comes with practice. Like Roosh says, you need to actually get out there and make approaches and talking to new women/people so that you have an understanding of the flow of conversation and the mechanics of it. The more you do it, the more comfortable you are with conversing, and the less you'll think about the stutter. Doesn't sound like you have that medical condition where you cannot help but stutter almost every other word.
I also had a mild stutter when I was younger, and found that as I became more sociable and associated myself with more 'experienced' people (older, more successful people or just people that are confident in who they are and the direction that they're heading in), I found myself stuttering less and less. This is because when I would listen to their life experiences, their advice, and their stories of hardship, they articulated it very well because they were submerged in these circumstances and thus had a more pronounced understanding of what they were talking about. So when I found myself in similar situations or conversations, I had a better understanding of what I was getting into, and modified the information I learned to adapt it to my own experience. That way, when I would socialize with others, I was confident in what I was saying, and it's a polarizing feeling from socializing with others and worrying about if it came out the right way or worrying about how you articulated what you said.
I don't know what kind of people you hang out with, or what type of person you are. Perhaps you can start off by looking at the type of people you socialize with. From a game situation, it all comes with practice. Like Roosh says, you need to actually get out there and make approaches and talking to new women/people so that you have an understanding of the flow of conversation and the mechanics of it. The more you do it, the more comfortable you are with conversing, and the less you'll think about the stutter. Doesn't sound like you have that medical condition where you cannot help but stutter almost every other word.
How often do you practice speaking?
Join toastmasters and force yourself to speak under pressure. Most people find public speaking more stressful than speaking to a single person so this should train you to speak properly even under pressure. I'm among the minority who naturally enjoy public speaking. I have less anxiety giving an impromptu speech in front of a packed auditorium than I do hitting on one chick.
You can also try speaking slower. Think about what you're going to say before you say it. This also helps your game because it prevents those instinctual reactions that reveal your emotions. When your words are carefully chosen, you sound more confident.
Join toastmasters and force yourself to speak under pressure. Most people find public speaking more stressful than speaking to a single person so this should train you to speak properly even under pressure. I'm among the minority who naturally enjoy public speaking. I have less anxiety giving an impromptu speech in front of a packed auditorium than I do hitting on one chick.
You can also try speaking slower. Think about what you're going to say before you say it. This also helps your game because it prevents those instinctual reactions that reveal your emotions. When your words are carefully chosen, you sound more confident.
I've got the dick so I make the rules.
-Project Pat
Quote: (01-15-2013 11:42 PM)Ironbound Wrote:
For most my youth, I've had a mildish-moderate stutter. It was so bad to a point that my school had went out of its way to get me speech therapy. Granted now, it isnt as bad as it once was, but how can I overcome this in terms of game? It isn't so much the stutter itself, but rather the desire to NOT stutter, which ends up messing things up. It disrupts eye contact, forces me to use synonms for other words, and the like, and generally helps give off a bad vibe.
I am sure you could go to more therapy couldn't you?
Also, I think you have to "mind over matter" this thing.
F*ck what people think. You have only one life to live.
Get yours kid.
Keep us updated on your progress on this.
I knew a kid in high school who had a stuttering problem. He was also over 6 feet and 250 at 14 and a sick athlete who went on to play college football.
His size and athleticism is not the point. He was very confident in himself, and even as he stuttered, people would listen to him. People would give him shit and he would take it in stride, but he could dish it out as well.
It also goes against social etiquette to stop listening to someone just because they stutter.
I would agree that if it is a problem for you, to continue with speech therapy. But don't let it hold you back from anything.
His size and athleticism is not the point. He was very confident in himself, and even as he stuttered, people would listen to him. People would give him shit and he would take it in stride, but he could dish it out as well.
It also goes against social etiquette to stop listening to someone just because they stutter.
I would agree that if it is a problem for you, to continue with speech therapy. But don't let it hold you back from anything.
It's one of those things, that I wish I could just paint it out, for everyone to see.
Sometimes, when I'm in the zone,I won't stutter in the slightest, I usually kill it in this scenario.
Then I have days where I hop out of bed, and I can't even pronounce my own name.
I appreciate the words of wisdom and encouragement, guys.
Sometimes, when I'm in the zone,I won't stutter in the slightest, I usually kill it in this scenario.
Then I have days where I hop out of bed, and I can't even pronounce my own name.
I appreciate the words of wisdom and encouragement, guys.
Quote: (01-17-2013 05:58 PM)Ironbound Wrote:
It's one of those things, that I wish I could just paint it out, for everyone to see.
Sometimes, when I'm in the zone,I won't stutter in the slightest, I usually kill it in this scenario.
Then I have days where I hop out of bed, and I can't even pronounce my own name.
I appreciate the words of wisdom and encouragement, guys.
See this is a really good sign.
You can overcome it.
You just have to figure out how to tap into the "state of mind" where it is not an issue.
I wonder if looking into a hypnotist or something might help too.
Quote: (01-17-2013 06:38 PM)thegmanifesto Wrote:
Quote: (01-17-2013 05:58 PM)Ironbound Wrote:
It's one of those things, that I wish I could just paint it out, for everyone to see.
Sometimes, when I'm in the zone,I won't stutter in the slightest, I usually kill it in this scenario.
Then I have days where I hop out of bed, and I can't even pronounce my own name.
I appreciate the words of wisdom and encouragement, guys.
See this is a really good sign.
You can overcome it.
You just have to figure out how to tap into the "state of mind" where it is not an issue.
I wonder if looking into a hypnotist or something might help too.
This.
I've thought about it over the years, it is a state of mind, so to speak. I've always wanted to learn how to be able to "turn it on" at will, I thought I was just being silly...
Seems like other agrees though.
Hypnosis? Hm...Why not. I've exhausted most other options, I will actually look into this. I'll let you guys know how it goes...
One of my friends stutters all the time, but he's confident so girls often don't even notice. He's as close to a pro as I knew in high school -- he was pulling threesomes with college girls in his truck our senior year. They just smile and wait patiently for him to finish talking. He doesn't even use synonyms, he just powers through it when he can't get his mouth around a word. Eventually it comes out.
But he also recognizes his verbal shortcomings and puts effort into looking good and having a good physical presence. I can talk circles around this guy, but I have never pulled women as well as he does.
In ways, we all have to compensate for our shortcomings.
Some of us are fat, some are slow-witted....very few men have it all. Yet many of these imperfect men still get the girls they want! I would say it's remarkable, but it's just how life naturally works. You don't need a royal flush to win a hand of poker.
With stuttering in specific, I think it's the fear in your head that derails you -- and if your friends will give you the extra moments you need to get a point across despite your speech impediment, then surely a girl can do that too.
If it's not already there, get it into your head that you have a right to finish your sentences. Anyone who cuts you off is being rude (unless you're hogging the conversation or something).
Good luck man.
But he also recognizes his verbal shortcomings and puts effort into looking good and having a good physical presence. I can talk circles around this guy, but I have never pulled women as well as he does.
In ways, we all have to compensate for our shortcomings.
Some of us are fat, some are slow-witted....very few men have it all. Yet many of these imperfect men still get the girls they want! I would say it's remarkable, but it's just how life naturally works. You don't need a royal flush to win a hand of poker.
With stuttering in specific, I think it's the fear in your head that derails you -- and if your friends will give you the extra moments you need to get a point across despite your speech impediment, then surely a girl can do that too.
If it's not already there, get it into your head that you have a right to finish your sentences. Anyone who cuts you off is being rude (unless you're hogging the conversation or something).
Good luck man.
I think if you relaxed it would be a lot better. The worst tell you can do is tell yourself not to stutter because that just adds negative resistants to your habits and makes your speach worst, so the first thing you have to do is accept it. Then after I would suggest praticing some meditation, this really helps to clear your mind of negative thought patterns and makes you more centered, then number one thing here is to relax, one you have relaxed you will notice your speach gradually improving.
Quote: (01-23-2013 02:16 AM)Insignia Wrote:
I think if you relaxed it would be a lot better. The worst tell you can do is tell yourself not to stutter because that just adds negative resistants to your habits and makes your speach worst, so the first thing you have to do is accept it. Then after I would suggest praticing some meditation, this really helps to clear your mind of negative thought patterns and makes you more centered, then number one thing here is to relax, one you have relaxed you will notice your speach gradually improving.
Yeah.
Yoga might help too.
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