[Tenerife]

I've been traveling the world for 5 months straight, chasing girls, getting laid, partying etc.

I haven't been worrying about my cash flow because of an online business with automated income.


Prior to this trip, I had many "dreams" and hobbies that I yearned would become something more. I've played music for over a decade and have developed skill in the area. I definitely have talent in writing and other creative areas.

But ultimately, when I examine these hobbies, underneath these activities, is really the hope that they will, one day, help me get access to more vaginas.

That one day, if I have a successful band, I will get more chicks and status. If I publish a bestselling book, or achieve renown for my work, I will get more sex.


Frankly though, as I stare at the guitar I brought with me on this trip, and carried with me everywhere, I think to myself "who gives a fuck?"

I've experienced this literally a hundred times or more bringing girls to my room: playing guitar and singing doesn't get you laid, at least if it's only a hobby and not on a stage. I get laid for other reasons. My look, my ethnicity, my persistence, chance, game, etc. I used to use the guitar as a prop for escalation, now I just hide it in the cabinet because it is more of a hindrance than anything before sex.

I also find, for most hobbies and other interests: they don't get you laid unless you acquire social status from them. It's like a professor. He doesn't get laid because he's intelligent, he gets laid because of social dominance.


So here's where I'm torn: being a location independent "playboy lite" love tourist, appears to be, ultimately, the most fulfilling state of being, and hobbies and "dreams" almost seem like these useless, vestigial components of my self, but parts of my self I almost feel guilty about eschewing. I'm getting more pussy than ever here in East Asia as a white guy, without having achieved anything.

Part of me feels like I MUST achieve something greater, or that I MUST pursue a skill and realize as much of my potential as possible in some endeavor.

But I realize, as a man, these goals and desires and yearnings are so intertwined with the desire for more women.

It feels strange to go against this impulse, and simply work more on my automated income so that I can keep leveraging my exoticism to bang tons of chicks with little effort indefinitely.


Does having a "passion" really matter? From my perspective, it seems like a waste of time, unless, against all odds, you have a MASSIVE success from it, like achieving fame. Frankly, i've lost the intrinsic love of my former life interests.

And at the heart of all of this is whether or not a man can truly enjoy a hobby or passion intrinsically. If you look at any interview of any rock n' roll musicians, "getting girls" was one of the first motivations for going into music. Of course they say they "do it for the love" later on, but if it ceased to be a way of getting girls, they would do something else.


Frankly, I've lost the love I once had for my hobbies and passions, because I no longer see them as outlets for obtaining pussy. I still get occasional pleasure from them, but I basically lack the motivation to carry forth with enough effort to take them anywhere. Chasing pussy full time, at present, seems like the most fulfilling state of being.

[WestIndianArchie]

Sounds like you need to find something that you like to do simply because you like doing it.

As for your overarching point that the reason men pursue hobbies is to get chicks, you couldn't be farther from the truth. There are a gazillion of men's pursuits that have nothing at all to do with becoming more sexually attractive.

WIA

[Acute Angle]

Very interesting question. A few years ago I decided that most fields of male endeavour are ultimately aimed at gaining access to more pussy, so one may as well shortcut the process and go straight for the pussy (rather than accumulate riches, flashy cars, academic status, fame etc.), however one can get it. So game becomes primary and achievement becomes secondary.

The question is - is that a fulfilling and rounded life that one can sustain and retain enthusiasm in for decades? The answer can only be decided by you. If you genuinely have no passion for anything apart from getting pussy, then don't artificially impose upon yourself the requirement to strive in other areas. On the other hand, don't cheat yourself and ignore inherent talents that you may find motivating and vitally enriching in the longer term.

At the moment I am wrestling with the problem of how to be *extremely* myself, to be all I can be with a minimum of inhibition from the external world. It isn't easy.

[Beyond Borders]

(01-12-2013 02:47 PM)Tenerife Wrote:  

I haven't been worrying about my cash flow because of an online business with automated income.

Sorry to jump right off subject but I noticed you've never posted about this. It's basically the dream of half the guys on this forum, if not more. Yet few have offered legit advice on it.

A thread on this would be sweet.

As for your frustrations, it's largely a meaning and purpose issue. It's going to take some major soul-searching to find your answers.

[FourToTheFloor]

I don't mean to hate, because a lot of guys on this forum like going to Asia to game women, but something I've been wondering to myself is:

Isn't SE Asia basically "easy mode" for us Western white guys? Maybe you should challenge yourself more?

I've noticed something similar when thinking about my choice of hobbies as well. I think that now I have game, I don't have to rely on doing other things to make myself interesting.

In fact, its kind of liberating to be able to pursue things that genuinely interest you without wondering if it'll help you get laid. I took up homebrewing last summer, and it has been really rewarding to get drunk on something tasty that you put all that hard work into. Probably won't ever get me laid, but I have game to do that now anyways.

[Rah]

Start thinking about hobbies or ventures in terms of how they could provide longevity of easy pussy over the rest of your life. I'm guessing you're young now, so that's like having lots of cash when you're middle aged in Asia, E Europe, and Latin America. Are you going to have lots of cash when you're middle aged? Are you going to have some other kind of status to compensate for your deteriorating youthful looks and vigor, or are you just going to be another old white guy in Asia living on $1500 / month? I think you could get fired up about that, since it's directly tied to pussy.

I think about this a lot.

[Brosemite]

It's a tough balance putting yourself in the best position to fufill immediate goals and then long-term aspirations concurrently. It's even tougher when you have difficulty identifying both especially when you can't forecast inevitable personality changes & needs 3-5 years from now. Whatever the case, it's a pursuit that baffles us all.

[garygroundwork]

i think having a passion is important because believe it or not banging different women every night becomes the norm and soon becomes boring like everything else

try and have a balance...don't let ur dreams slide because of sluts....jesus

[tiggaling]

Doing creative things and creating is a waste of time if you are not inspired by it and are not passionate about it. Chances are, if you are doing these things for pussy, what you do isn't going to that crash hot anyway. As we know here, at least, doing all these things isn't the way to do it.

Humans are hard wired to reproduce, that's the apparent main aim of "the game". But also, I personally need to have 2-3 projects on the cook that create meaning for myself and others, that gives me fulfilment in my life and makes me feel like I'm sharing something of value with the human race. On the other hand, if you are happy doing what you are doing, then bully for you, there is nothing at all wrong with that.

[Damedius]

(01-12-2013 03:35 PM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  

(01-12-2013 02:47 PM)Tenerife Wrote:  

I haven't been worrying about my cash flow because of an online business with automated income.

Sorry to jump right off subject but I noticed you've never posted about this. It's basically the dream of half the guys on this forum, if not more. Yet few have offered legit advice on it.

A thread on this would be sweet.

As for your frustrations, it's largely a meaning and purpose issue. It's going to take some major soul-searching to find your answers.

I'd also like to hear anything he might have to say on the subject.

Someone else on the forum recommended James Schramko. I got a membership for Fast Web Formula and was impressed. He has a ton of really good information. If you don't want to sign up for a membership, you can sign up for his newsletter. Where he gives some good tips.

[Tenerife]

(01-12-2013 03:33 PM)Acute Angle Wrote:  

Very interesting question. A few years ago I decided that most fields of male endeavour are ultimately aimed at gaining access to more pussy, so one may as well shortcut the process and go straight for the pussy (rather than accumulate riches, flashy cars, academic status, fame etc.), however one can get it. So game becomes primary and achievement becomes secondary.

The question is - is that a fulfilling and rounded life that one can sustain and retain enthusiasm in for decades? The answer can only be decided by you. If you genuinely have no passion for anything apart from getting pussy, then don't artificially impose upon yourself the requirement to strive in other areas. On the other hand, don't cheat yourself and ignore inherent talents that you may find motivating and vitally enriching in the longer term.

At the moment I am wrestling with the problem of how to be *extremely* myself, to be all I can be with a minimum of inhibition from the external world. It isn't easy.

At this point I'm not sure what will be the best long term strategy. Once I get above a hundred notches soon I'm going take a break and reassess. My sex drive is just so high. I don't really see an end to this madness of notch chasing. Will my view be different when I reach 200-300 notches? Perhaps. A few months ago I thought I was getting so much sex and that I should just become a celibate monk. Fast forward to now, I'm getting more sex than before and have basically just acclimated to it.

I may enroll in a language school in latin america, or perhaps east asia, and learn some languages as a way to add "rounding" to my life, while simultaneously gaining a skill that gets me access to more pussy. Kill two birds with one stone. It seems like a lot of people on rvf basically share that love of travel, game, and language learning (as well as things like dancing, weightlifting, and fighting sports).

Because I always was passionate about my hobbies and dreams, but now they just don't feel right. It's like, I just get this feeling I should not pursue it anymore, and that I should pursue something else.

[Beyond Borders]

[Tenerife]

Tim Ferriss calls it "filling the void." Lets just say I realize that I "fill the void" by filling HER void, if you know what I mean.

[GyopoPlayboy]

i think that the vast majority of men don't have much higher ambitions or passions beyond getting laid a lot and making a lot of money. unless some event or experience in your developing years strongly influenced you towards a certain direction, i think that the majority of men are only going to care, deep down, about getting laid, making money, and spending time with friends.

[temujin]

Hot pussy never gets old.

CHASING hot pussy does get old.

There's a difference.

[RawGod]

(01-13-2013 10:13 AM)temujin Wrote:  

Hot pussy never gets old.

CHASING hot pussy does get old.

There's a difference.

There's a lesson there.
When you're old, make sure you don't need to chase hot pussy. It should chase you.

[bacon]

i have never been had passions. i mean i love really good food, connecting with friends, sleeping in, getting a buzz, the power/freedom money gives me, traveling and expanding my horizons. however i need orgasms and pussy is preferable to my hand but thats where is stays. i simply refuse to let it control my life so i never view chasing pussy as something more than a means to an end.

[urbrock]

i've struggled with this exact same dilemna... i've been traveling and working online for the last four years. I'm a musician and although I played as much as possible abroad and formed several bands and duos in different places I traveled to, music definitely started to take a backseat. 2012 was my most successful year ever in terms of getting laid but I started to feel like something was off, like I was sort of on the wrong track.... So now I am back in my hometown of Chicago recording a new CD and getting back to making music more of a focus... This year I still plan to travel and chase women but plan to focus more on making music, building my business..... That's what feels right to me, but ultimately it's your life and I think you should just do what makes you happy! For me music is a big part of that.

[GreenGranted]

My favorite blog author (solvemygirlproblems.com) once wrote this to me, when I questioned if a passion used for getting more attractive is genuine:

Seeing as how you are a student of Physics, I assume you know of quantum theory and its many contradictions. How did Niels Bohr defend it, and how did he refute Einstein's diatribe in their famous debate? He argued that the contradictions inherent in Physics are only contradictions due to the way we perceive them. The dual nature of an electron is not one holistic and uncompromising system - both aspects COMPLIMENT (not rival) each other. Our attempt at reconciling this by concurrently explaining both is faulty in and of itself.

The contradiction you pointed out is the same. In order to get women, you must have an attitude that says "women are only compliments to my life." But if you adopt this attitude in order TO get girls, it begs the question of the goal OF your goals (In order to get women, you need to have goals outside of women, but if you have goals outside of women in order to get them, isn't getting women the goal of having other goals?).

Saying it is then a "facade" and inauthentic, again, begs the question of what is genuine. Do you think were yourself BEFORE you learned game, and now you're a fake person because you consciously know how to act to make yourself more attractive? If you do, then I must ask you, when were you genuine? Back when your entire personality was a social construct stemming from one giant cultural apparatus that functions in accord with the female imperative? Back when all of your thoughts was filtered through a collective social conscious and your perception of the world molded by stigma and hyper-capitalism?

Seduction, and life in general, is paradoxical by definition. Any attempt to study or practice either to success requires that you adopt a paradoxical nature yourself.

As for your other question, you must divide your focus between long-term goals and short-term goals. If you focus too much on long-term goals, your passion will die out because you will lack tangible markers that let you know you're making progress. Everything will turn into an obligation aimed at achieving something years and years away. If you focus too much on short-term goals, you will lack an ultimate vision and often find yourself asking "why am I doing this?" They key is to strike a balance between both.

For instance, your long term goal can be becoming a physics professor/playboy. I personally know many people who have taken that exact path. They might not be the wealthiest but their positions grant a sense of power and authority; and they are VERY good at running extremely refined c/f. A girl will ask them "ohh so are you smart?" and they'll be able to hold eye contact with such deep penetration and reply "Smart? I'm a genius," that she, and everyone else who heard, believes it as much he does. They aren't your average socially awkward nerd. Neither are they feminine or high-energy, they would not strike you as a "PUA". They are very, very intimidating to be around and maintain extremely deep, masculine, Alpha vibes. It's easy to be confident to the point of a god-complex when you think of yourself as smarter than everyone around you. And yes, that attitude guns down women like none other. Think along the lines of:

Her: "Wow you got a 41 on the MCATs??"
You: "Yah."
Her: "That's really good! did you study alot?"
You: "No, I'm good at everything I do."

For short term goals, you want to think about your GPA, the gym, women, getting into triple 9 society, things of that sort. You still need the dopamine rush of success to keep feeding you energy. But you need to balance that out with long-term goals so that you don't get too caught up with illusory ambitions. For instance, if you start getting too caught up with a girl or some hobby, you should be able to remind yourself "I want to be HERE in 7 years. Spending too much time in this will move me AWAY from that goal."

[Duke Castile]

This has been something that has interfered with my goals my whole life. Back in my early 20s, when I was getting laid irregularly or not often at all, I was driven. I accomplished quite a bit by the time I was 23. When my game developed and I started getting pussy, my ambitions and other aspirations seemed less important because what I was doing was working better than showing a medal or trophy (metaphorically speaking).

300- or 1000 notches isn't going to make you want pussy any less. It's not like you can save it up and withdraw it later.

I am in the position that another poster said, having to think about being middle aged in what could be a quick succession of years and all of a sudden I'm not the top dog anymore and without an impressive bankroll.

I need to focus on that because then I'm driven again.

I was telling a friend the other night. "My favorite hobby is banging girls, and all my other hobbies are geared towards my number one hobby"

The only time I really feel like "shit, I need to do something more than this." Is after I've banged a girl out 3-4 times.

You factor in getting laid regularly, hangovers, tediousness of day to day bs. It's a real motivation killer.

Mental toughness and discipline coupled with a strong perspective on staying competitive has to be the focus if you want to keep enjoying the life you've cultivated.

[Vitriol]

There only way any of your passions ever get you laid is if they have a lot of exposure or fame. The guy playing fucking Nickelback covers at the most popular bar in your city is getting much more pussy than the head of the music department and the nearest university.

The problem with this is that - if you're something like a virtuoso as a musician or really great at rebuilding and restoring cars because you understand the machinery well - it's pretty much useless for getting pussy. Women generally are incapable of understanding how men enjoy these kinds of hobbies because they cannot do the same things themselves. Therefore men are put in the difficult position of investing a lot of time into mastering something that doesn't really have any kind of tangible payoff.

I'm not sure if there's really a good answer to this dilemma, but I do know that men get an inherent enjoyment out of their passions that often has nothing to do with getting pussy, and often comes at the expense of getting it because of the time investment a hobby requires.

Many guys repeat the cliche that if you're passionate about what you're doing and become great at it, pussy will just fall into your lap. From my experience, this simply isn't true. If you really just want to get a lot of pussy, you're going to have to spend a lot of time going after it. So you have to pick your battles accordingly: if you really want to write a book within the next year, then go for it for the sake of personal fulfillment, but don't delude yourself into thinking pussy is going to start falling out of the sky as soon as it gets published.

[Rah]

People seem to be making the leap that since you can (at least temporarily) sidestep the need to accomplish things to get laid then therefore that means that accomplishing things doesn't get you laid at all. What!?

I understand how the motivation to build and conquer wanes when you can just hack your way into the pussy, but that doesn't mean that accomplishing great things cannot also yield a bounty of pussy if you have your wits about you and the will to exploit your status.

The stock of male accomplishment has taken a hit in the pussy market but it's a long way off from zero.

[Tenerife]

(01-13-2013 08:40 PM)Rah Wrote:  

People seem to be making the leap that since you can (at least temporarily) sidestep the need to accomplish things to get laid then therefore that means that accomplishing things doesn't get you laid at all. What!?

I understand how the motivation to build and conquer wanes when you can just hack your way into the pussy, but that doesn't mean that accomplishing great things cannot also yield a bounty of pussy if you have your wits about you and the will to exploit your status.

The stock of male accomplishment has taken a hit in the pussy market but it's a long way off from zero.

give an example of a decent return on investment accomplishment or achievement.

Using achievements to acquire pussy is pretty high risk high reward. If you're in the 99 percent of dudes that don't have that MASSIVE success, then you usually get nothing in return for your work, aside from the intrinsic pleasure of the activity.

[Captain Ahab]

If you are using your passion to get pussy then that is not your passion; it is a subterfuge for your sexual frustration.

Quentin Tarentino didn't stop writing screenplays and making movies when he got famous.

Ernest Hemingway had a typewriter in his place long after he won the Nobel Prize in literature and was famous all around the world.

Kanye West didn't stop making music after he became famous and banged tons of chicks, if anything he saw the emotional emptiness of the success his passion got him and thus created the album My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy.

I am sure Michael Jordan still plays basketball.

Bottom line, your passion is not going to go away. It can't. It is your passion. It is the itch that drives you to write, to swim, to create art, to act. It is a part of you, like breathing.

The problem is when you have no balance and you sacrifice everything, including your sanity, in order to pursue your passion. It is almost cliche to find that most creative geniuses are pretty emotionally troubled people. Perhaps because they sacrificed all the time they could have been getting pussy to create art? I argue that they didn't have a choice.

They were chasing an obsession.


Captain Ahab, my handle, was chasing a whale. He had no choice. It was his obsession.

Miles Davis was chasing music. He had no choice. It was his obsession.


In regards to fame, I don't think that is wise to pursue your passion if you are pursuing a result since that is attachment to outcome. The joy should come from the action not the results.

So if your passion is pussy then you should focus on doing whatever you can to obtain that. Playing a guitar eight hours a day in the hopes that it will one day lead you to more pussy is an ass backwards way of getting sex.

Personally, I can't put away my passion. It is a part of me. It is my reality, ego, emotions, sanity, past, and future all wrapped into one creative act. That is what I find I can always come back to when the pain of the real world, the very painful real world, punishes me to the point of death. I always have my passion. It is my shield, my sword, and my buckler.

But, for the sake of my emotional happiness, I need to pursue sex the same way I need to pursue the gym in order to remain healthy.

Make time for food, shitting, and sex. What you do after you are full, have cleared your bowels, and busted your nuts for the week is up to you.


Blessed is he who knows himself more than he knows his desires.

[Roustabout]

Good question. I've struggled with this myself. I agree with a lot of what has been said, especially Captain Ahab's post. One thing I would add, as a serious guitar student myself, have you thought about digging deeper into the guitar? You may be a virtuoso, in which case, I definitely get your frustration in that you may feel you've achieved everything you can on the instrument. However, like Cpt. Ahab said, guitar is my obsession (a healthy one though) and I must play; therefore, I get intrinsic pleasure out of improving my skill level on the instrument. You too might find that the more you learn to do with the instrument, the more pleasure you get from it, separate and apart from any use as a tool to meet women.