[sundance kid]

I am fairly new to this board, read BANG and DBIP about 4 years in to consciously discovering "the game". Stumbled upon these boards and find it amazing resource. Nice finding like minded dudes who value travelling / chasing girls.

Anyway wanted an opinion on some advice I was given..

Bettering myself through game / getting girls is awesome, neigh, it is without doubt the best thing I have ever discovered / achieved. But I don't want it to be perpetual.

I was planning on having my fun while the going is good and one day get out before it becomes too self destructive. Note that day is probably no time in the next couple of years, and I plan to lord south america for the best part of 2011, but you never can tell if / when you will get out. Or even if you ever want to...

Regardless I figured I would share with you a piece of advice I was given a while back by a close friend who has his shit together. He is one of the ones I look up to and has achieved some pretty inspirational things in his time. He was in the community 7 / 8 years ago, I discovered only recently. When I met him 6 years ago, I just considered him a natural and a dude with his shit together having fun / getting laid like a rock star.

Now he is done with it and he is in a solid relationship with what seems like a super hot / super cool girl. Its been 5 years or so now, so it isn't one of these "Dude I am in an LTR, I met her last weekend, she is ace" community relationships you read about.

The bit of advice I got from him was

Quote: "You gotta find one you really like and don't fuck her for a month that's the way. Is the truth. It's too easy to be fickle when you dip in right away."


The more I think about it, the more I have come to believe it is the only way to establish a meaningful relationship.

Thinking about it, I don't many relationships that work well and are rocking in to the years or decades that were initiated from a 15 minute extraction same night lay?

Would appreciate your thoughts...

SDK

[MiXX]

This concept of not bangin a girl you like until at least 1 month after hanging out together (even 2 months) was made popular by the movie "40 year old virgin"

check it out..... It will shed light on what you buddy was saying.


Personally, I think real relationships are as rare as winning the lottery. I knew a girl for 7 months, and because of our busy schedules, we did not ever get a chance to bang.

We finally did bang several times on the 8 month, but it died by the 14th month.

I got a SNL with a girl, and had fun with her for 3 years!

It's not when you guys get laid, but how deep your connection is in my opinion.

I am not looking for a relationship, my lifestyle does not allow ne the luxury of the time and attention a relationship deserves and needs.

When I'm 70, if I make it that far, a relationship with a 25 year old is very welcome

[Giovonny]

(04-25-2010 09:09 AM)MiXXmaster27 Wrote:  

When I'm 70, if I make it that far, a relationship with a 25 year old is very welcome

My 82 year old grandather told me the same thing last summer. He said don't get married until you are at least 55. And marry a girl at least 20 years younger. I think that advice is a little old fashioned. I wanna wait til im 75 and marry a girl at least 40 years younger.

This is Old School Latin Playboy Advice. Guys that don't make any excuses or apologies. They just keep it real and say the truth. When they are older, they want multiple young girls who are at least 20-30 years younger.

Sound impossible? It happens all the time all over the world. You just gotta take care of yourself physically and financially.

This is how I was raised. If i got married now my grandparents and older uncles would call me a fool. They all know that beautiful girls in there 20's are Gods gift to us. To give them up is just one step above suicide.

[sramosobriant]

(04-25-2010 05:44 AM)sundance kid Wrote:  

I am fairly new to this board, read BANG and DBIP about 4 years in to consciously discovering "the game". Stumbled upon these boards and find it amazing resource. Nice finding like minded dudes who value travelling / chasing girls.

Anyway wanted an opinion on some advice I was given..

Bettering myself through game / getting girls is awesome, neigh, it is without doubt the best thing I have ever discovered / achieved. But I don't want it to be perpetual.

I was planning on having my fun while the going is good and one day get out before it becomes too self destructive. Note that day is probably no time in the next couple of years, and I plan to lord south america for the best part of 2011, but you never can tell if / when you will get out. Or even if you ever want to...

Regardless I figured I would share with you a piece of advice I was given a while back by a close friend who has his shit together. He is one of the ones I look up to and has achieved some pretty inspirational things in his time. He was in the community 7 / 8 years ago, I discovered only recently. When I met him 6 years ago, I just considered him a natural and a dude with his shit together having fun / getting laid like a rock star.

Now he is done with it and he is in a solid relationship with what seems like a super hot / super cool girl. Its been 5 years or so now, so it isn't one of these "Dude I am in an LTR, I met her last weekend, she is ace" community relationships you read about.

The bit of advice I got from him was

Quote: "You gotta find one you really like and don't fuck her for a month that's the way. Is the truth. It's too easy to be fickle when you dip in right away."


The more I think about it, the more I have come to believe it is the only way to establish a meaningful relationship.

Thinking about it, I don't many relationships that work well and are rocking in to the years or decades that were initiated from a 15 minute extraction same night lay?

Would appreciate your thoughts...

SDK

Depends on what you mean by "meaningful."

Sex can make conversation easier, have more depth, or not. Don't think there are hard and fast rules, but a lot depends on what else is happening in your life, like a career or some creative endeavor that consumes you. Wealth, time and dedication to a goal all play into this. At some point, many of us get tired of playing the field, and trade the excitement of that for fewer distractions in order to get something done that is more important to us at the time. That said, the heart of a player never dies. It's like being a supremo thief or hacker who puts her/his skills to a more legit path. You still have the talent, you're just choosing to specialize.

[kingkong]

Quote:

married until you are at least 55

This is biologically naive if you have any interest in kids. Birth defects and shit go up after the dude is in his early 30s. IQ is even negatively affected. Some models suggest much of the autism "epidemic" is due to older fathers.

The hard reality is that both men and women have a biological clock that makes waiting until after 35 to have kids a fairly bad idea.

Back here in reality, once you're over 50 the only way you're getting a substantially younger woman is if you're paying to help raise her nine year old as part of the deal. That's not necessarily a bad arrangement, but it's the real dynamic from what I've seen.

[Mirrored]

(04-25-2010 04:05 PM)kingkong Wrote:  

Quote:

married until you are at least 55

This is biologically naive if you have any interest in kids. Birth defects and shit go up after the dude is in his early 30s. IQ is even negatively affected. Some models suggest much of the autism "epidemic" is due to older fathers.

The hard reality is that both men and women have a biological clock that makes waiting until after 35 to have kids a fairly bad idea.

Back here in reality, once you're over 50 the only way you're getting a substantially younger woman is if you're paying to help raise her nine year old as part of the deal. That's not necessarily a bad arrangement, but it's the real dynamic from what I've seen.

Disagree. I think its only been proven that the age of the woman affects the kid. And this isn't me trying to push a gendered agenda, it's just what I read... let me dig for source.

http://www.webmd.com/brain/autism/news/2...others-age

Right here.

So, for men the risk only appears to be going for very young women (under 25) but for women, after 30, things get risky.

As for IQ, the studies show that there might be a 2 point hit.

But to be honest, anyone in the 90 to 110 range is basically the same, and (in my spoiled 142 iq opinion) basically going to think the same way as anyone else in that group.

[Quasi]

Well asking how to get a long term here, is like asking the alcoholics in a bar how to stay sober... That said almost all my friends are in them and I think the main theme is compromise and willingness to sacrifice. Plus knowing you wont get it all, there will always be stuff about your partner you could trade in for someone better...

[Giovonny]

(04-25-2010 11:11 PM)chrisss Wrote:  

(04-25-2010 01:18 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  

(04-25-2010 09:09 AM)MiXXmaster27 Wrote:  

When I'm 70, if I make it that far, a relationship with a 25 year old is very welcome

My 82 year old grandather told me the same thing last summer. He said don't get married until you are at least 55. And marry a girl at least 20 years younger. I think that advice is a little old fashioned. I wanna wait til im 75 and marry a girl at least 40 years younger.

This is Old School Latin Playboy Advice. Guys that don't make any excuses or apologies. They just keep it real and say the truth. When they are older, they want multiple young girls who are at least 20-30 years younger.

Sound impossible? It happens all the time all over the world. You just gotta take care of yourself physically and financially.

This is how I was raised. If i got married now my grandparents and older uncles would call me a fool. They all know that beautiful girls in there 20's are Gods gift to us. To give them up is just one step above suicide.

How are you so sure that you're outlook on life won't evolve through time? I can relate with you. Now it's all about chasing ass, making money, and living worthwhile. But what makes you so sure that one day you're priorities won't shift and you won't feel the need to settle down with a beloved one and raise a family? Could you bet on it now that you will never want that?

Your right. My outlook on life might evolve over time. In fact, it has already changed alot since i was younger.

I used to think that falling in love, getting married, and having kids is what makes a man complete. I believed that family is the natural process that a man should follow as he approaches middle age.

The older I got, the more i heard men complain about how miserable their married lives were. Financially, Sexually, Creatively. Their independence was taken away. They could no longer live their lives as free men. I realized that this is not the life for me. Marriage seems like nothing more then a man made "social contract" that secures the financial future of women and her off spring.

However, I realize that I could meet a woman that will change all of this. I could fall in love and I will eat all of these words. If that happens I will welcome it. I will have no regrets because I lived an agressive playboy lifestyle for many years. Women of all races, colors, ages, shapes and sizes. This is what i do while I wait for my Queen. Because if she never comes i will not be left with my cock in my hand... "saying where did my youth go"?

Sure there are risks to this lifestyle. But there are risks with any lifestyle. I think the married lifestyle is just as big of a risk. The same question you ask me i will ask you.

What makes you so sure that the married life is for you? Are you sure you are ready to give up all the women in the world just to have sex with only one for the rest of your life? Are you ready to commit 50% of your income to a woman for the rest of your life? Are your sure you want to come home everyday to a woman and children? How do you know that your priorities will not evolve over time and you will crave the freedom and variety of girls that i have???

The way I look at it...I have 2 choices...The Married life or The Playboy life. Both have their pros and cons. In the end i have to make my decision based on my life experience and what i beleive will make me happy.

For me its a very easy decision. I will take my chances as a Playboy. If i change my mind i can always settle down. If you change your mind it will cost you alimony and child support and some of the best years of your life.


To be honest i know that it will be very difficult for a 75 year old man to pull women in there 20's. And to that I have only 3 words. Phillipines, Brazil, and money. I wanna die having a threesome with two 20 year olds.

[Rocco81]

Good post. I have said it before and will say it again. It is a GOOD thing to find a nice girl that "does it" for you and someone you might want to consider having a family with.

IMHO the most important parts of any "game" method is becoming more confident and comfortable with yourself and your relationships with women. That and learning not to play games just to get a peice of pussy, but more importantly understanding the dynamic to being a a confident leader to a woman so that a woman won't constantly shit test and game her own shit on.

Many guys start to gain the confidence they might have lacked in the past, now it manifests itself as bieng calm and confident around women. Later it manifests itself into the once shy guy becoming the power player in a relationship that he values more than just a quick fling.This is where it all comes full circle to me. You have the girl you want, and you are able to be the man she needs (despite what she might say she wants and needs) thus you are able to keep a loyal, respectful, sexy ass woman.

Or..like many guys you can continue to be scared and just take what is left over, and end up on the short end of the stick, in both sex game and relationship game.