[MikeinMKE]

I guess this is the right terminology? Another way to put it is that I don't feel like I have the skills to build/retain a harem. It seems like girls tend to view me as "keeper" material and once they figure out that I'm just out to have fun/sleep around they drop me.

Most recent example (although this same story has played out 5 or 6 times in the past year): This girl (met off Match.com) had three good dates with her. First came back to my place, made out, sucked her tits, etc. Second we fucked (raw dog). Third was NYE - I met her out close to midnight, we made out at 12 and then walked back to my condo and fucked (really good sex). I let her spend the night and we raw dogged in the AM. She sent me "girlfriendy" texts throughout the week and I was somewhat noncommital - responded but took my time and was casual. Really not into her, find her mildly annoying, don't want to lead her on too hard, etc. but she has a young tight body and the sex was hot.

We had made tentative plans to hang out today but she's gone dark and didn't respond to my "resume" text last night. I'm honestly okay with it she's a full 1.5 to 2 points beneath my ideal woman and now I'm free of any potential discomfort/awkward/her crying ending that I always feel when I know I'm not interested in what she wants (LTR). But still I'd have liked to fuck her a few more times and used her to fill up my calendar for a weeknight for the next couple of weeks.

Is the problem ultimately that I met her off Match.com so she was expecting me to be interested in LTR? Or is there something I can do to retain a girl like this for longer (without outright "lying" to her as far as hints that I'm interested in LTR, bringing her to dinner, etc.)? Or is the problem that I'm lacking the skills to be a better player and keep girls like this around until I want them gone? If so, I'd love to glean some tips and continue to grow my game in order to attain this. I'm not willing to outright lie and mislead chicks into thinking we're headed towards a LTR in order to keep them around - I want to have that soft harem setup (I really hate that term haha) where they know what's up but are still willing to put up with my bullshit because I'm so fucking awesome. I'm about to go re-read Roosh's stuff on soft harems but I also would appreciate real-world feedback as well.

[j r]

How old are you/they?

[MikeinMKE]

(01-06-2013 10:03 AM)j r Wrote:  

How old are you/they?

I'm 34 (youthful) this last chick was 28 (also youthful). I typically date 28-29 year olds at this point.

[ryanf]

Delete

[I'mWaitingForTheMan]

It's all inner game man. Have the confidence and take things on your terms. Older women (25-35) will fall in line if you own the frame. You may be a bit too nice. It's a fine line to toe. I'm 24 so I find the 26-32 demographic dig ballysness from a younger dude.

Not that I have a harem on by any means. I'm talking more SNLs. But that's what you want, right?

[MrXY]

To a large degree, you just have to accept that you have limited control.

Girls drop off for all sorts of reasons- they just wanted sex(i.e. they pumped and dumped you), they found a guy or guys they like better, you didn't sex them up well enough, other things are going on in their lives, they just aren't feeling you anymore, they're looking for a commitment which they sense you aren't willing to give and so on.

This is why game theory emphasizes the necessity of pipelining-if you want to have a harem you have to constantly be bringing girls into your orbit. The age group you are targeting compounds your problem-I think late 20s to early 30s are the toughest chicks to both bang and keep around because they know they are approaching the end of their prime and are looking to make the best marriage deal they can before they reach their expiration date, so they can have absurdly high demands and standards

[MikeinMKE]

(01-06-2013 01:53 PM)MrXY Wrote:  

The age group you are targeting compounds your problem-I think late 20s to early 30s are the toughest chicks to both bang and keep around because they know they are approaching the end of their prime and are looking to make the best marriage deal they can before they reach their expiration date, so they can have absurdly high demands and standards

Yeah the problem is that I need to be picking up women in real life with my boy from Milwaukee up here. He offered to go out today to daygame but I wanted to relax and watch football/tv - felt I deserved a break after a good week overall.

I am young enough to pick up mid-20's girls (maybe even early 20's girls) in real life, but Match.com is set up to be rather age-oriented and I feel like seeing the cold hard "34" does me in with the majority of women who aren't speficially into older me on there.

[bojangles]

It's hard with girls that age, I tend to let them go cold for a few weeks and then when I'm really drunk and horny I'll just message these girls with horrible assholey texts, they all respond and I just tell them straight what I'd do to them, seems to work well.

[MikeinMKE]

(01-07-2013 05:51 AM)bojangles Wrote:  

It's hard with girls that age, I tend to let them go cold for a few weeks and then when I'm really drunk and horny I'll just message these girls with horrible assholey texts, they all respond and I just tell them straight what I'd do to them, seems to work well.

This is interesting and I've done this with mixed results. I feel like it's bad for my self-esteem/karma when a bitch that I'm originally relieved to be rid of (even if it wasn't completely on my own terms) now has the upper hand by ignoring my solicitation of a booty call. That kills me.

For example: there's a girl that I fucked a few times and dropped and I ran into her at my gym a few months later - was a complete surprise. I was super horny and went and chatted her up, then tried to restart a couple of days later... no response. It sucked. Suddenly SHE had the upper hand and it somewhat tainted my fond memories of fucking her. When I mentally file through my bangs of 2012 and think of her I now have this asterisk like "fuck she didn't text me back" now.

[wi30]

(01-07-2013 09:04 AM)MikeinMKE Wrote:  

(01-07-2013 05:51 AM)bojangles Wrote:  

It's hard with girls that age, I tend to let them go cold for a few weeks and then when I'm really drunk and horny I'll just message these girls with horrible assholey texts, they all respond and I just tell them straight what I'd do to them, seems to work well.

This is interesting and I've done this with mixed results. I feel like it's bad for my self-esteem/karma when a bitch that I'm originally relieved to be rid of (even if it wasn't completely on my own terms) now has the upper hand by ignoring my solicitation of a booty call. That kills me.

For example: there's a girl that I fucked a few times and dropped and I ran into her at my gym a few months later - was a complete surprise. I was super horny and went and chatted her up, then tried to restart a couple of days later... no response. It sucked. Suddenly SHE had the upper hand and it somewhat tainted my fond memories of fucking her. When I mentally file through my bangs of 2012 and think of her I now have this asterisk like "fuck she didn't text me back" now.

Haha this happened to me a couple months ago. I had an easy one night stand with a girl from class. My drunk booty call text didn't work the next weekend.

I guess she was just using me for my body.

[bojangles]

(01-07-2013 09:04 AM)MikeinMKE Wrote:  

(01-07-2013 05:51 AM)bojangles Wrote:  

It's hard with girls that age, I tend to let them go cold for a few weeks and then when I'm really drunk and horny I'll just message these girls with horrible assholey texts, they all respond and I just tell them straight what I'd do to them, seems to work well.

This is interesting and I've done this with mixed results. I feel like it's bad for my self-esteem/karma when a bitch that I'm originally relieved to be rid of (even if it wasn't completely on my own terms) now has the upper hand by ignoring my solicitation of a booty call. That kills me.

For example: there's a girl that I fucked a few times and dropped and I ran into her at my gym a few months later - was a complete surprise. I was super horny and went and chatted her up, then tried to restart a couple of days later... no response. It sucked. Suddenly SHE had the upper hand and it somewhat tainted my fond memories of fucking her. When I mentally file through my bangs of 2012 and think of her I now have this asterisk like "fuck she didn't text me back" now.

Don't worry about it, I just brush it off, you've not lost anything, they have, you have other plates to smash. It's happened to me a few times last year but I just don't fucking care. I guess it depends on how much of an asshole you are. I send drunk arseholey texts, MattC sends dick pics. Both of us seem to get responses.

[littleG]

Make sure your intentions are clear 1st with yourself, and 2nd with the women you attract. If you are clear about your desires, and holdfast to them, you will naturally screen out the women who aren't interested in your "arrangement." Thereby retaining the ones that are.

The key is unwavering honesty.

After reading your post s'more, it seems you might be interested in the concept of the "mini-relationship." Just be clear with the girl about your expectations and boundaries and do not accept any behavior that goes against your principles and philosophies. Otherwise the shit tests will increase and you'll end up unhappy because of all the "drama," and bullshit she brings into your life.

-PJ

[thegmanifesto]

(01-06-2013 08:00 PM)MikeinMKE Wrote:  

I am young enough to pick up mid-20's girls (maybe even early 20's girls) in real life, but Match.com is set up to be rather age-oriented and I feel like seeing the cold hard "34" does me in with the majority of women who aren't speficially into older me on there.

Seems like you are hung up on your age.

It is all in your mind. 34 is young.

Girls don't care.

[kenny_powers]

(01-09-2013 09:09 PM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  

(01-06-2013 08:00 PM)MikeinMKE Wrote:  

I am young enough to pick up mid-20's girls (maybe even early 20's girls) in real life, but Match.com is set up to be rather age-oriented and I feel like seeing the cold hard "34" does me in with the majority of women who aren't speficially into older me on there.

Seems like you are hung up on your age.

It is all in your mind. 34 is young.

Girls don't care.

This is truth. I'm slightly older than you. I banged a 22 year old from the bar in my car the day after Christmas. I am currently dating a girl 12 years younger than me.

If you insist on doing online dating set your age at 26 or 27.

[MikeinMKE]

(01-11-2013 07:07 PM)kenny_powers Wrote:  

(01-09-2013 09:09 PM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  

(01-06-2013 08:00 PM)MikeinMKE Wrote:  

I am young enough to pick up mid-20's girls (maybe even early 20's girls) in real life, but Match.com is set up to be rather age-oriented and I feel like seeing the cold hard "34" does me in with the majority of women who aren't speficially into older me on there.

Seems like you are hung up on your age.

It is all in your mind. 34 is young.

Girls don't care.

This is truth. I'm slightly older than you. I banged a 22 year old from the bar in my car the day after Christmas. I am currently dating a girl 12 years younger than me.

If you insist on doing online dating set your age at 26 or 27.

Hmm I'd be thrilled to just put it 2 years younger but isn't that embarrassing?

[kenny_powers]

(01-12-2013 10:05 AM)MikeinMKE Wrote:  

(01-11-2013 07:07 PM)kenny_powers Wrote:  

(01-09-2013 09:09 PM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  

(01-06-2013 08:00 PM)MikeinMKE Wrote:  

I am young enough to pick up mid-20's girls (maybe even early 20's girls) in real life, but Match.com is set up to be rather age-oriented and I feel like seeing the cold hard "34" does me in with the majority of women who aren't speficially into older me on there.

Seems like you are hung up on your age.

It is all in your mind. 34 is young.

Girls don't care.

This is truth. I'm slightly older than you. I banged a 22 year old from the bar in my car the day after Christmas. I am currently dating a girl 12 years younger than me.

If you insist on doing online dating set your age at 26 or 27.

Hmm I'd be thrilled to just put it 2 years younger but isn't that embarrassing?

I don't know if you are being serious? Embarrassing how? To who? Who gives a fuck. The ONLY reason you should be online "dating" is to get the girl to agree to meet you in a bar and use her as a cum dumpster. Rinse repeat.

[Screwston]

(01-12-2013 10:05 AM)MikeinMKE Wrote:  

(01-11-2013 07:07 PM)kenny_powers Wrote:  

(01-09-2013 09:09 PM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  

(01-06-2013 08:00 PM)MikeinMKE Wrote:  

I am young enough to pick up mid-20's girls (maybe even early 20's girls) in real life, but Match.com is set up to be rather age-oriented and I feel like seeing the cold hard "34" does me in with the majority of women who aren't speficially into older me on there.

Seems like you are hung up on your age.

It is all in your mind. 34 is young.

Girls don't care.

This is truth. I'm slightly older than you. I banged a 22 year old from the bar in my car the day after Christmas. I am currently dating a girl 12 years younger than me.

If you insist on doing online dating set your age at 26 or 27.

Hmm I'd be thrilled to just put it 2 years younger but isn't that embarrassing?

[MikeinMKE]

Sorry that just seems lame as shit to lie about your age. And yeah I'm working match.com like a fiend right now - it's 20 fucking degrees out and I'm from the south.

[Ovid]

Age is a number. These chicks aren't selling you a life-insurance policy, they're hopping on your dick. If you change that little number to 27, a higher percentage of them will be receptive to your overtures, resulting in more, younger vaginas, a greater proportion of which will still be in slut-it-up mode, and therefore much more amenable to casual relationships based on sex. Furthermore, once you've banged them, they are unlikely to care whether you are 21 or 41.

[Screwston]

Well, keep on not being lame by missing out on pussy and telling them your real age. Meanwhile, everyone else on here will continue lying and fucking younger girls because of that.

[poutsara]

(01-06-2013 08:00 PM)MikeinMKE Wrote:  

I am young enough to pick up mid-20's girls (maybe even early 20's girls) in real life, but Match.com is set up to be rather age-oriented and I feel like seeing the cold hard "34" does me in with the majority of women who aren't speficially into older me on there.

34 is an ideal age. And you can take that to the bank. Just stay in shape. Any girl over 20 is game for you. If they say they aren't, then it's nothing to do with your age. I haven't been with a girl my age in a while.

I was thinking the other day, about one girl that stands out in my mind whom I was with for some time when we were both in our early 20s. She was good in many ways. I was just thinking what she would be like now. And I realized that she would be too old.