[ghostdog]

I've come to an understanding that this happens as a combination of physical attraction and being very sad over the idea of the person's inevitable death. I would like to secure something of this sort because there is something to be said for those old couples holding hands in the park, joking and laughing like they are young. Old age will be unbearable without such companionship.

how the hell do you do this though? I've never felt anything profound for any female I've been with. It's always been about looks and youth. all of those artsy philosophical chicks who think they're on some deep shit, I've found plain obnoxious. Where are the warm and wonderful people?

[Asaxon]

Those warm an wonderful people are in
- Hollywood Movies
- your life until you sign the contract (marriage) after which they turn into harpies

Humans are self-interested, females much more so than males. I have had several lt relationships that I broke off and where the girl claimed to be inconsolable. A few weeks later she was off to riding the cock carousel.
The romantic notion of true partnership is something a lot of guys seem to desire but which I see women exploit to gain diamond rings, cash and prizes in divorce or a meal ticket. There might be some out there who are different and value true partnership but western females, raised in the egocentric, narcissistic "me me me" world of the 21st century are unlikely to hold these kinds of sentiments.

[ghostdog]

whoops wrong forum

[ghostdog]

(12-27-2012 07:28 AM)Asaxon Wrote:  

Those warm an wonderful people are in
- Hollywood Movies
- your life until you sign the contract (marriage) after which they turn into harpies

Humans are self-interested, females much more so than males. I have had several lt relationships that I broke off and where the girl claimed to be inconsolable. A few weeks later she was off to riding the cock carousel.
The romantic notion of true partnership is something a lot of guys seem to desire but which I see women exploit to gain diamond rings, cash and prizes in divorce or a meal ticket. There might be some out there who are different and value true partnership but western females, raised in the egocentric, narcissistic "me me me" world of the 21st century are unlikely to hold these kinds of sentiments.

of course we are self-interested. even though mating and survival is our first priority we do have a bit of versatility that we explore through art, to name one example.

If bonds were impossible, spouses wouldn't grieve each others deaths. There must be something else at play.

[Asaxon]

I did not say impossible but once you investigate the biochemical and evolutionary aspects of pairbonding the romantic notions vanish rather quickly. In a society where one has access to hundreds of options (read potential mates) in the palm of one's smartphone-holding hands sticking it out with the same individual for long is increasingly difficult. Add this to the mantra of "self over everything else" and divorce rates are no longer a mystery. I personally think that aligning life goals and self-interest to complement another person might be the most successful way. That and living in a traditional environment that does not endorse divorce due to "I am not haaaappy" feelings.

[ghostdog]

(12-27-2012 08:03 AM)Asaxon Wrote:  

I personally think that aligning life goals and self-interest to complement another person might be the most successful way. That and living in a traditional environment that does not endorse divorce due to "I am not haaaappy" feelings.

Sounds reasonable. like that one graphic of the old couple said "in our times when something was broken we fixed it instead of throwing it away"

I also believe that most people in the West have not experienced true intimacy like what Leonard Cohen writes about, with so little time spent on each pair bond. People are borderline autistic.

[tiggaling]

(12-27-2012 09:38 AM)ghostdog Wrote:  

I also believe that most people in the West have not experienced true intimacy like what Leonard Cohen writes about, with so little time spent on each pair bond. People are borderline autistic.

Say American people instead.

There is typically little prioritisation on forming interpersonal bonds in western cultures.

(12-27-2012 06:49 AM)ghostdog Wrote:  

Where are the warm and wonderful people?

Well, there are some in the U.S.... sure.

But you are more likely to find warm hearted and truly friendly people in some country like Sri Lanka or any of the other hundreds of countries.

But if you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem!

[iknowexactly]

(12-27-2012 06:49 AM)ghostdog Wrote:  

.... I've never felt anything profound for any female I've been with. ...all of those artsy philosophical chicks ........I've found plain obnoxious. Where are the warm and wonderful people?

Well, you'd first want to be warm and wonderful yourself to interest them, wouldn't you? Did you come from a two-parent home where your parents were a couple like that? If not, maybe you haven't yet learned how to be nurturing, or Murkabeests aren't responding to it.

A lot of people here don't want to be emotionally dependent on someone else, but I don't see myself being happy always feeling like a stranger. Everyone's wired differently, and has built on their wiring differently.

Also, I agree with above poster that people live to work in America; in fact I'm getting on a plane soon to go to EE. Physically it's cold, but I don't like robots.

[ghostdog]

(12-28-2012 09:13 AM)iknowexactly Wrote:  

Well, you'd first want to be warm and wonderful yourself to interest them, wouldn't you? Did you come from a two-parent home where your parents were a couple like that? If not, maybe you haven't yet learned how to be nurturing, or Murkabeests aren't responding to it.

My parents are still happily married.I don't have a problem emoting and opening up to people. I've managed to build genuine friendships with men(and that counts for something in the Facebook age for my generation).
Women in the West are so vacant though. My words are disappearing into the air. They respond with cliched statements and show the warmth of cyborgs. then I just stop bothering and enjoy their titties instead

This song explains the situation well I think

I shed a tear like a faggot after the first 10 minutes of "Up"