[cardguy]

I am usually sceptical of issues relating to psychology. The way some girls use this stuff often seems on a par with horoscopes. Trying to pick out patterns to reach whatever conclusion they want.

With that said. I recently realised I am an introvert. Apparently a third of the population is. So there should be a few here on the forum as well.

For a long time I thought I had problems with my diet (which could be true anyway since I am a poor eater at times). Since I always get overwhelmingly exhausted as soon as I return home from work. My body just collapses down and I have trouble moving for at least a couple of hours.

This is weird since I enjoy my job, it is easy and in no way stressful.

So - I am curious if others get this 'crash' after work? Or after attending social events?

Most of my friends would consider me a massive extrovert (when I make the effort to socialise I am very outgoing). But - I need alot of alone time to recharge my batteries. Which kinda makes me an introvert.

It is really cool being an introvert. But I wish there was a way to not feel so tired after hanging out with people. Also - I have decided I never want to have a long-term relationship, since I cannot be around someone for more than 3 hours or so before I need to be alone. So - those sorts of relationships have no appeal for me.

Anyway - I am curious about any of the other introverts here. How do you combine being an introvert with living with a partner? I cannot imagine anything worse than being forced to be around somebody for most of my free time. I would be curious as to how you adjust to that.

Cardguy

[the Dagda]

Yes, this was something I noticed a few years back. I need to wind down and recuperate after spending time with people. I have that exhausted feeling as well. It's the same way with my dad. Some of us just need more time alone and space during the day. When people (mostly girls) say "I cant stand being by myself for more than an hour", I just can't imagine what that is like.

Pretty much everything you wrote is something I have recognized in myself. As for LTRs, I have always been able to manage the time where I only hang out with them for 3 hours or less. Anything extra is sleep. Right now, I am positive I could not put up with even a cohabiting relationship.

[keirin]

Another introvert here - I've noticed that when I have a job that requires a lot of interaction with my co-workers I'm not very interested in "going out" after work. The jobs where I don't need to interact that much and am by myself at my desk most of the day, I seem to have more of a desire to get out after work.

I haven't done the cohabitation thing for about 20 years - my house is my internal battery charger.

[HiFlo]

I'm the exact same way. I need alone time to recharge, otherwise I get very irritable and will just fucking run away to be alone.

I've never been in a relationship where we even spoke about living together, but this idea isn't too pleasant to me because I need my space. I do know that if a girl comes over and stays the whole weekend I will make excuses to go to the store to pick up some random shit alone just so I can be alone for an hour or so to recharge. LOL

I don't think it's normal, no, but obviously since me and you the Dagda are like this, it's pretty common.

In terms of being tired after work, I've found three things help: 1) a quick nap, 2) a protein shake or perhaps a soda with some caffeine in it, and 3) MOST IMPORTANT, have something you're looking forward to later. In regards to (3), I've found that if after work I know I'm just gonna go home, and pretty much do nothing besides some ordinary errands and watch TV, I crash hard. However, if I know I'm gonna meet some friends later, or gonna go to the mall for an hour to approach girls, things seem so much better and I have more motivation without such a fatiguing crash.

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

I absolutely am. The art of Game, I'd say, is helpful to everyone but is the most helpful and meant for introverts, who have become less and less desired in this modern period.

[w00t]

Most definitely introvert here.
I literally crash out and have to take a nap after work too. But now im working from home so problem solved.

I can be really outgoing and charming when im in social mode. But always need time alone and to recharge my batteries. I find it exhausting to spend longer timeframes among people.

Lots of introverts are like that, can be really outgoing but need time alont to recharge. Extroverts need to be around people to get their energy levels up.

[avantgarde]

I am more introvert when I am by myself or with people who have different interests than I do. But I am with friends, I'm more extrovert, but I don't how talk in an appropriate way.

[cardguy]

I have a stag weekend coming up in Barcelona. I will be hanging out in a massive villa with 30 friends for 3 nights.

The first night will be fine - but I am going to start to feel I am drowning the following two days, if I don't get a chance to be alone.

I am a big reader - and when I talk about being alone to recharge my batteries. It often means being alone for 4/5 hours to read a book or surf the internet. As such - it really is difficult combining that with social commitments (or a long term relationship) since most people just assume you are depressed or bored when you disappear like that. And 4/5 hours alone pretty much takes up most of a day or most of an evening.

On top of that - if I have being at work. I really have no desire to hang out with anyone at all for the rest of the day. After 8 hours of socialising at work, I am done.

Anyway - interesting stuff guys. I wonder if more people are introverts who don't realise it? It seems possible that it could be the underlying cause of alot of break ups and divorces. In the sense that one partner misreads the other partners wish to be alone. It can be very confusing all round when you don't have a label to describe how you feel.

As an introvert I wonder if it affects my personality. You see I often find myself slipping into a fake character/role when interracting with people. I wonder if this is because of my desire to be alone? Since I often semi-bullshit a bunch of opinions and attitudes just to get through the social occasions. So that I can get back to being alone and 'myself' again. It is sad in a way but I am never truly 'myself' around anyone I know. But that might be a separate thing unrelated to being an introvert.

Cardguy

[pitt]

I think some of you may be defining introvert in a wrong way. According to cambridge dictionary:

Introvert - someone who is shy, quiet and unable to make friends easily

I am far from being an introvert, actually im a very social person but at the same i like spending lots of time by myself and i also dislike the idea of spending the rest of my life with a woman but i dont think this makes me an introvert.

[Smitty]

(12-26-2012 12:06 AM)HiFlo Wrote:  

I don't think it's normal, no, but obviously since me and you the Dagda are like this, it's pretty common.

You are who you are -- try to improve upon your weaknesses and build upon your strengths.

Don't let society dictate to you what normal is.

Otherwise men would be good little slaves working their 9-5 jobs and telling their wives that the ten pounds she gained last year is not her fault.

[Jaydublin]

I am definitely one who needs a sort of recharge. I'm rarely very happy while having a job because on weekends/evenings I never want to get out and enjoy myself. I always feel the need to just sit and relax. It has gotten better but I still prefer lots of mini vacations in my life.

[ImmoralPsychology]

(12-26-2012 09:36 AM)pitt Wrote:  

I think some of you may be defining introvert in a wrong way. According to cambridge dictionary:

Introvert - someone who is shy, quiet and unable to make friends easily

I am far from being an introvert, actually im a very social person but at the same i like spending lots of time by myself and i also dislike the idea of spending the rest of my life with a woman but i dont think this makes me an introvert.

That dictionary is wrong. Try an encyclopedia or a psychology text.

[w00t]

Yeah thats a common misconception that introverts are shy and have have problems meeting people. Introverts can have amazing social skills, they simply have a different personality type than extroverts. Introverts gain energy from being alone and get drained from being around people. For extroverts its the other way around, they get energized from being around people. Its a basic personality type and doesnt mean an introvert can't be a master seducer or an extrovert cant be a scientist or scholar. But the extrovert scientist will propably hit the clubs after his lab session and the introvert seducer will propably spend a day alone reading books after a weekend spent in clubs chasing girls.

[NYJ]

Introvert here as well. Contrary to conventional wisdom, I have no problem being social or meeting people. However, I can only deal with people so long before feeling drained and needing to "recharge". This often done by browsing the net(often this forum) and reading an awesome book, or planning something. I do think that we're in the minority of people. I don't really see that as a bad thing however.

[Kitsune]

Overwhelming introvert here. I imagine most game forums have a disproportionate amount of introverts, probably because introverts are more likely to go searching for tips on coping with socialising more.

[thegmanifesto]

Is it possible to be both at the same time?

I get energy from being around people.

And I also get energy from being alone.

[cibo]

(12-26-2012 01:50 PM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  

Is it possible to be both at the same time?

I get energy from being around people.

And I also get energy from being alone.

You're an ambivert then.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extraversio...troversion

Anyway, I know I'm an introvert but I'm pretty sociable. So when i tell people im an introvert in the classical sense of needing time alone to recharge, most people think im BS'ing since i can be pretty loud. This also because im only slightly introverted based on the Myers Brigg scale.

I do honestly find extroverts lack of introspection and need for attention annoying as all fuck though.

[w00t]

(12-26-2012 01:50 PM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  

Is it possible to be both at the same time?

I get energy from being around people.

And I also get energy from being alone.

Now that Sir is just sick! You are obviously a very deranged individual and need professional help.

[beta_plus]

Sadly, extroverts seem to always have an upper hand in Game, since the process of approaching and generating attraction actually helps them relax to some extent, where as for us introverts it's exhausting.

[NYJ]

(12-26-2012 01:33 PM)Kitsune Wrote:  

Overwhelming introvert here. I imagine most game forums have a disproportionate amount of introverts, probably because introverts are more likely to go searching for tips on coping with socialising more.

Most forums in general attract a lot of introverts. Not a shocking revelation by any means.

[speakeasy]

I'm an introvert. I don't mind socializing and can rather enjoy it. I just get quickly worn out by extended small talk. I like talking about something meaningful to me or having a genuine connection and flow with someone. But having to work a room and chit chat with random people is tiring. This is one reason why introverts are more likely to struggle with cold approaching and prefer social circle game or meeting women through common interests.

If I have to drive a long distance, I don't mind at all driving solo just so I don't have the pressure to keep yapping away to fill in awkward silences. Some of my extroverted friends can't fathom the idea of taking a road trip by themselves. Although I must say I've had great times before taking long car trips with groups of people. But I can just as soon enjoy them by myself.

(12-26-2012 01:50 PM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  

Is it possible to be both at the same time?

I get energy from being around people.

And I also get energy from being alone.

It's not an either/or thing. It's a continuum. You could be somewhere in the middle.

[NYJ]

I also don't mind long road trips by myself. I have driven to Libertyville IL from NJ once for a car function by myself. Was a surprisingly therapeutic experience. Just you, machine(car was a stick shift), and road in harmony. I was in introvert paradise. I go out all the time for lunch or get some threads by myself.

[HiFlo]

I tend to think that although us introverts do socialize and can be very outgoing when the situation calls for it, the way introverts socialize is different from the way extraverts socialize. Anyone else agree?

For example, I tend to think that extraverts have a much easier time just "hangin out" and cuttin loose, joking about things that (to me) just aren't funny and making jokes/laughing about things that (to me) aren't funny. I don't know if this is just my (lack) of sense of humor or what, but I find when I'm social I want to talk for just normal conversation, not crack up like I'm dying from laughter. Anyone else find this? I may very well be totally off.

[Giovonny]

I'm a natural introvert. I have always enjoyed being alone, I have only a few friends, I don't enjoy socializing just for the sake of socializing, I don't party, I hate going out at night, I like peace and quiet.

This is my lifestyle. I like it.

However, a few years ago, I realized that this was hurting my sex life. I was not meeting as many girls as I could. I was not banging as many girls as I could. I was underachieving sexually. My lack of social ambition was hurting my sex life.

I decided to make a change. I decided that I would become more social, more talkative.

I saw a show called "The Pick up Artist", I discovered "The G Manifesto" blog, I discovered "Roosh".

I went to work. I rewired my brain. The rest is history!

[speakeasy]

@NYJ

Totally feeling ya on the driving thing. Just you, the car and the road, and some good music. Doesn't get any better. Ok, well sometimes it's cool when a girl is there with you, but I'm happy to do that shit by myself. That's why I got into cycling. it's that same feeling except no wasting money on fuel.

(12-26-2012 03:43 PM)HiFlo Wrote:  

I tend to think that although us introverts do socialize and can be very outgoing when the situation calls for it, the way introverts socialize is different from the way extraverts socialize. Anyone else agree?

For example, I tend to think that extraverts have a much easier time just "hangin out" and cuttin loose, joking about things that (to me) just aren't funny and making jokes/laughing about things that (to me) aren't funny. I don't know if this is just my (lack) of sense of humor or what, but I find when I'm social I want to talk for just normal conversation, not crack up like I'm dying from laughter. Anyone else find this? I may very well be totally off.

Good insight. I hear you. This is particularly true for the American brand of extroversion where a wolfpack of guys gets together to outshout each other talking about the NFL, UFC, ball-busting each other, joking and acting rowdy. Your typical sports bar crowd. Never enjoyed any of that shit.

Back when I was working 9-5, I'd always take my lunch breaks by myself. If it wasn't hot out, I'd just go grab a quick bite than take a 30 minute nap in the car. If I had to take a lunch break with other employees, it didn't feel like a break. Especially if it was one of those situations where the boss took everyone to lunch. When I wanted to a break it means I don't want to talk to or see anyone from my company for an hour!