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Two women's analyses of failed relationships with selfish alpha males
#1

Two women's analyses of failed relationships with selfish alpha males

Sorry guys, this is long ...

I often read unintentionally hilarious questions elsewhere on the web where women reach out for consolation and commiseration from other women (and from herbs/beta orbiters/manboobs) in the wake of an alpha male who blazed through their lives and left them in his dust. (Women never write these plaintive missives probing the depths of their hearts after they nuke a milquetoast beta male from orbit.) It's the same story we hear all the time, but new permutations of these stories can always be instructive because they contain delicious details on how each particular alpha male conducted himself that any of us can learn from.

There were two recent questions of this nature, on another site, that I want to bring to your attention. These guys are both cut from the same class as "Skittles man," "Bring the Movies man," and "Nah man" if you are a reader of Heartiste.

French girl swoons for bad boy ex-con, dumps him, still pines for him


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Ok let's go…sorry for my writing, Im french.. [Image: tongue.gif]
I have been single for about 7 years.
Last winter went on my regular trip with a friend, came back…and decided to peek a little on my Dating Website.
Wow ended up checking a nice profile…oulala interesting young male.

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We connected right away,I was really physically attracted to him, had an awsome date with him, wouldn't wanted to leave [Image: smile.gif].
....
Things quickly started to be Official after couple of dates…and this guy was upfront to me and starting to be really honnest. Actuallly, he was an ex-addict, who did prison couple of times for drugs related/fights, went to rehab couple of times too, but was rebuilding his life , had a nice job , was still living at his sobriety home.

Fucker is living in a sobriety home with a prison record and he is putting himself out there, charming women and getting dates with them. (It's funny to me that these layabout Lotharios, guys who basically have zero economic value in the world, who are failures on just about every practical metric, can still have sexual value that is in the stratosphere compared to guys who earn six figures and have multiple degrees and luxury cars, and yet, despite their burnished resumes, are sexual beggars, either starving or dumpster-diving for scraps, left with the castoff women in their thirties who spent their teens and twenties riding the cock carousel with Skittles Man, Nah Man, and Bring the Movies Man). Oh, and this particular guy is getting the French girl to support him:

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I had my own condo, my own thing so he metnionned after only a month of dating, maybe we should try and live together.I didn't really think straight, I was still in my bubble so …I finally accepted it…He had a way of saying things at his advantage. So he took his clothes and his bike and moved in.

His clothes and his bike. Don't you get the feeling that's all he owned? And yet he is owning her, a hard-working woman with her own home and a good job, like he's the lord of the manor.

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AFTER the move, things started to be a little bit out of hand.
This guy TOOK OVER my place as his own , bought a bulldog (has a never had a dog before in my life because I knew the responsiblities who came with it), smoked weed like crazy inside my place. I started to really feel that I had pretty much nothing say and accept I he was. I took the dog like my own, took care of her, walked her ect…He introduce me to his familly I really connected with his mother!!!His familly was great [Image: smile.gif]
The only thing he did was somking weed, watch tv and eat basically.

I love this. He is living on her generosity ... TAKES OVER her space ... and does nothing but smoke weed, watch TV, and eat ... and fuck her fine French ass.

She dumped him, he stole all her stuff, and she filed a police report. But here's what galls her the most:

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And 4 days after the robbery, I was sooo curious to see if he was online, sure enough he was fully active again on the same website we meet with pictures that I took and ready to settle again with a ''special someone''…WTF!!!!!

You may say, "Well, she dumped him, how does this contain any lessons for a man?" It seems to me, since she is writing a question hundreds of words in length about how to "go on with her life," that this is really a story about an alpha male that she can't stop thinking about.

On to story number two:

Woman dates slightly younger bad boy, he dumps her, she still pines for him

This woman gives a long, sprawling, disorganized account of her relationship with a bad boy, that she is still trying to "get over," emotionally. He ultimately dumped her.

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I was totally taken in by his looks, charm, wit, humor, athleticism, and hedonism, enough to do all that I could to impress him.

Then she gives a long list of all the crappy things he did to her ... and toward the end of the list, she complains that he dumped her without giving her a chance to fix the relationship (see the bold part way down below):

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February 2010 - He surprise-invited his at the time, single female friend L. (not mine, I barely knew her) for my birthday which I thought we were spending alone together. And his plan was to make us go to her house in another part of the city and cook a fancy meal with Asian ingredients he'd bought (I happen to be Asian, they're not). I got upset at this because I thought it turned a day that was meant to be about making me feel special into a day that was more about him and her, with me as some third wheel. This happened in the beginning of our relationship and I forgave it as him being oblivious to what's socially appropriate.

- At parties and public places:
He would mostly ignore me. I wanted to be one of those couples who'd occasionally check up on each other and you know, be sweet to each other. I felt disconnected, like not part of a couple really. By the end, I just expected this so I tried to focus on spending time at parties with other people until we got home.

He'd happily stay out till morning with his friends but when going out with just me (by the time we'd been living together for a while) he'd hail a cab and call an early night after dinner & a movie. This made me feel boring and worthless by comparison.

I knew he spent his workday chatting with L. whenever he could (and whatever other female friends he had), because I used to be the recipient of his chats but was no longer. He said it was because we lived together that he didn't need to chat with me as much. Despite knowing they were just friends, I felt like he was more intrigued with her than with me.

In fact, I regularly felt like he was more intrigued with other women, almost any other woman, than he was with me. Whether at meetups, or at a store, or at a party, he'd put his total focus on other women. It was something I could just feel, though I know I can't prove it. His explanation was always: I was just being friendly, or they looked like they needed some attention. And it was true, he'd often pick the girls who looked out of place or sad in some way and be super gallant toward them, while totally ignoring me. It was almost like he was courting them -- he'd pull out chairs, open doors, order a lot of food, hand them a plate to try first, try to "protect" them, etc. I felt invisible, taken for granted, not at all special. If he'd treated us all the same way, it'd have been different.

The funny thing was he'd pull out the stops for ME at other times around other women, particularly women he definitely wanted to impress, who already knew how serious our relationship was. Then he would grandly hand-feed me or whatnot. I felt totally paranoid to feel like a prop but I did.

- Speaking of props, he would literally treat me like one when we'd all be standing around talking in a group at a bar or something. He was about a foot taller than me and would rest his weight on my shoulder (if you can imagine how a man would stand resting his whole weight on his elbow on a pedestal with his legs crossed at the ankles), I was literally the pedestal on which he leaned. His weight would make me feel uncomfortable so after putting up with this once or twice, I began to just dip out of his way when he'd do this. His expression then would turn from smug satisfaction to irritated chagrin.

- He never asked me questions, or wanted to hear my stories. He loved to talk about himself and our longest, most "connected" conversations were of him rambling about what a bad boy he was in his childhood and about his opinions and exploits.

- He always walked far ahead of me, and would make me run to have to keep up. This was stressful and made me feel like he didn't enjoy my company, that he cared more about catching the train than to connect.

- When meeting me somewhere, I'd usually spot him half a block away walking toward me, and wave hi and smile, and his response to that was to act like he didn't see me, until he *had* to see me. I knew he was pretending because the moment I'd wave he'd get a bit more cocky in his walk and his chin would go up and he wouldn't meet my eyes like he's just too cool or something. It made me feel as if I was embarrassing to him.

- He'd deliberately provoke me, knowing I had some temper issues. For ex. he would drop a pickle jar and shatter it on purpose, knowing I would get mad about having to clean it (since he won't be thorough about cleaning the shards properly).

- He used to cavalierly toss his dirty clothes at my head.

- He'd clap his hands and say an item he'd want me to fetch for him. All jokingly of course. It annoyed me but sometimes I'd comply because I wanted to make him happy.

- Sexually he was essentially done after he'd had his orgasm first. If I wanted an orgasm he'd use his fingers with as little effort as possible. More than a few times he'd shove my head down to his crotch or trap me in a blanket to "hint" that he wanted a blowjob, but I'd always protest because he'd never wash enough down there.

- He'd burp to a frequency that would indicate it was not natural but deliberately meant to provoke. When it got to that point (and with all those other red flags above which is just a short-list), I "knew" I was being disrespected, but NOT BEING TOLD DIRECTLY WHAT HIS PROBLEM WITH ME WAS made me hope this was temporary or just a guy thing.

If I asked him, he'd say nothing. He'd change the subject. Or he'd put it off and say let's talk about it tomorrow (usually I'd forget it by then). Or my favorite, he'd go to bed and fall asleep.

Needless to say, we never communicated well and when he broke up with me, I felt short-changed, like why stay so long and never speak up about any issues with me if he clearly did let it build up enough to break up with me? I felt like he never gave us a real chance. And if he preferred other women or felt I wasn't really the one enough to treat me with respect, why did he not pull the plug earlier?

I love this detail about him dumping her and immediately moving a young model into his apartment and picking up young foreign women because he wants to learn their language:

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When he broke up with me, he made sure to get a female roommate who was apparently a young struggling student/model and forced me to move out on her schedule. The stranger took priority over a 3-yr (ex)girlfriend with whom he'd shared so many experiences including much overseas travel. He also was sexting another random girl while ostensibly having an in-person conversation with me. He strung me along for sex post-breakup while we were still living together, until I discovered all this and couldn't "love" him anymore or see him the same way.

Now he's busy picking up girls of a specific nationality so he could "practice speaking their language" with them, a language he believes is of practical value to him. I feel he's using their naivety to his advantage just as he did with me especially at the end. That's the end of what I know about him and I don't follow any news about him.


Some lessons from these two stories


I'm not saying any guy needs to model his life on these two guys, maybe they were complete losers and assholes.

But there's something to be said for recognizing the value of selfishness that these guys represent. Everyone knows that women recoil at "nice guys," yet many guys still cling to a nice-guy persona and are way too considerate and self-effacing with women. It's like there's a mental block that many of us have that makes it difficult to "let go" and truly be selfish, self-possessed and put ourselves first. Whenever you read about an embarrassing display of weak, mincing, beta male foolishness, the bottom-line explanation seems to be that he was a chump who forgot to put himself first. He didn't respect himself, and therefore no woman would truly respect him.

It seems, when you look at examples like this, that being lordly, domineering, inconsiderate, and putting YOURSELF first is a more surefire way to a woman's pussy and heart than to be yet another self-effacing, meek supplicant for a woman's favors.

When do you see women publishing wrenching analysis of some meek beta male's actions and psychology? Never. Because women discard those guys like used tissue paper, disgusted by them, giving them nary another thought. Women never ruminate endlessly over the problems of a relationship with a nice guy they spurned. But when a commanding, forceful alpha male blazes through a woman's life, she will dissect his psychology endlessly, regurgitate the story of the relationship for all of her harpy friends who will listen, and replay incidents in her mind ad nauseam, basically picking at the ruins of the relationship WITH A GUY SHE CLAIMS WAS AN ASSHOLE for any hint of love or possibility of reunion.
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#2

Two women's analyses of failed relationships with selfish alpha males

The dark triad. It works on the naive and people who are naturally givers.

Just think of Kim Kardashian. She does the same thing with men and guys still fawn over her.

Get muscles and an attitude of nothing to lose is worked in my past. I got my hottest girls when I was unemployed. I think it's because corporate America is beta as fuck for the most part and I can tell it rubs off on me sometimes. When I had no job I did whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. I had no time schedule. I was at the beach at noon 5 days a week meeting girls. Fuuuuuccccckkkkk

Now I'm in the rat race :|
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#3

Two women's analyses of failed relationships with selfish alpha males

I really wish these stories have pictures of the participants, otherwise it's pretty much impossible to learn anything form other than the usual generalizations (dark triad, being a dick, not giving a fuck, etc).

Contributor at Return of Kings.  I got banned from twatter, which is run by little bitches and weaklings. You can follow me on Gab.

Be sure to check out the easiest mining program around, FreedomXMR.
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#4

Two women's analyses of failed relationships with selfish alpha males

Quote: (12-20-2012 12:47 AM)Samseau Wrote:  

I really wish these stories have pictures of the participants, otherwise it's pretty much impossible to learn anything form other than the usual generalizations (dark triad, being a dick, not giving a fuck, etc).

I get the impression that these are extremely stupid girls (Stupid even for women) and that the guys just happened to have some particular look ( like looking exactly like James Dean or whoever her and her friends' ideal is).

The Moronchick sees how "hot" he is, and she is so shallow and dumb ( again, we're talking dumb even for a woman) and so incapable of any real bonding ( for which she would need to perceive character before she could respond to it) that she essentially responds to James Dean very similarly to how she responds to an iPhone she wants.

It's totally an object, because she's totally an object. She barely has anything like a mind of her own.

This kind of girl is really almost as stupid as a dog. Maybe like 2/3 of the way from a dog to a human.

This is an interesting story, because I recently moved into a house where there was a genetic Alpha: tall broad shouldered good looking and indifferent.

I saw a very cute young girl that was hanging out with him, and because I knew about game I wasn't surprised. However, she seemed a little bright to be falling for this very shallow, good looks guy. To my surprise she soon disappeared, because she wasn't essentially as dumb as a dog.

Not all girls are completely stupid, especially after 19 or 20. We tend to believe they are. The smarter girls see who these guys are quickly, don't get involved with them, thus there is never any story like these bizarre tales of signing on for abuse for us to hear about.

Now the guy who's halfway between Prison James Dean and a Lawyer, say some kind of sales guy-- even bright girls will fall for him until she's , IDK, 30.
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#5

Two women's analyses of failed relationships with selfish alpha males

Awesome thread.

Attraction is what it is. Girls will go for the guy who doesn't give a fuck about them.

A scumbag with game and nothing else will still be able to get pussy.

A guy could go out 7 days a week with no life and fuck hot girls.

There was a guy in Toronto who did a 30 day homeless challenge, where he'd only get to stay at a home if he met a girl and she took him back to her place. He showered at homeless shelters....

He fucked a decent amount of girls doing that. His game is pretty tight.

Of course, I'd rather have money and a lifestyle rather than be a bum who gets some hot girls. Getting the hottest girls requires access to them, and you sure as fuck are not going to find them in Toronto.
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#6

Two women's analyses of failed relationships with selfish alpha males

haha the second guy, what a fucking guy, sounds like he's off the forum, walking in front of her, making her get things haha

Don't forget to check out my latest post on Return of Kings - 6 Things Indian Guys Need To Understand About Game

Desi Casanova
The 3 Bromigos
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#7

Two women's analyses of failed relationships with selfish alpha males

Quote: (12-20-2012 02:34 AM)iknowexactly Wrote:  

Quote: (12-20-2012 12:47 AM)Samseau Wrote:  

I really wish these stories have pictures of the participants, otherwise it's pretty much impossible to learn anything form other than the usual generalizations (dark triad, being a dick, not giving a fuck, etc).



Not all girls are completely stupid, especially after 19 or 20. We tend to believe they are. The smarter girls see who these guys are quickly, don't get involved with them, thus there is never any story like these bizarre tales of signing on for abuse for us to hear about.

Now the guy who's halfway between Prison James Dean and a Lawyer, say some kind of sales guy-- even bright girls will fall for him until she's , IDK, 30.

This is spot on. These stories depict a certain kind of guy that will have success withe a certain kind of girl, but if you're trying to run game and land a lot of tail I don't think you want to bring such a niche appeal. But the "halfway" guy, the guy that has some of the asshole qualities but also has some objective success, that has much broader appeal.
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