[mr greenleaf]

Normally I dont care if a girl i am dating has a best guy friend but this situation is problematic for me and I have been stewing on it for awhile and need advice.

I have been seeing this girl for about 4 months now and she is quite a bit younger than me ~6 years. She is a solid 9 or 10 depending on your personal tastes but her looks are top notch.

So before i met her all of her close college friends went to vegas (this is last summer 2012), and she ended up banging this guy. I dont know if this happened more than once or if he tried getting more after the trip or what but long story short she is his best friend and they talk all the time...still.

Now I didn't know this at first but I do now and it is rather iritatting. Supposely he is a great guy, friends forever, blah blah shit.

So my question is how do I play this? I dont want to come off as a beta by complaining about it or acting jealous but dont want to laissez faire with the situation either.

The girl is totally smiten with me and has already asked on numerous occassions to be her BF and I have met her parents several times as well....so she is definitely wants more with me, but this situation is one that needs to be dealt with delicately.

Here is where you are going to LAUGH YOUR ASS OFF.

They dont live in the same town but he is visiting for work at the end of december
...wait did I tell you he starts for a NFL football team (rookie) and his team is coming to visit our city to play our team
...and guess what he got her tickets
...and guess who will be out of town
... ME! I will be out of the country with my buddy in buenos aires (first time baby!)

Supposely he knows all about me and actually got her two tickets to bring me, but i'm gone so she is taking her dad.

This girl is legit, as a person...I'm not putting this girl on a pedestal either I get plenty of hot chicks these days, and let me tell you I have a pretty low opinion of the female species in general as bonafide cum dumpsters so I dont toss that compliment to a girl too regulary.

so guys what do I do here? Bring this up and talk to her about it and how do i play this? or ignore and play it the same as before (we talked about it briefly but i played it off like i didnt care)...she may use this to her advantage to make me her BF which i have steadily ignored or delayed commiting to.

I would like to be cool with this dude, because I know he is going to be apart of her life in some way for the forseable future.

he did bang her, but it was before I knew her and you can't blame him for it and I want a positive outcome from this but I also want to live in reality that given the chance he would probably bang her again...keep in mind we still havent met yet and they banged only about 6 months ago... not exactly a excessively long period of time.

[LouieG]

Not sure if this is the right forum but regardless--

It's amazing how many problems in a man's life can be resolved by fucking a lot of girls. Not just one girl. A lot of girls.

[SnakeEyes]

I still don't know your goal. It sounds like your asking, "how should I respond to her getting attention from a high status male who has fucked her before?"

Are you emotionally invested?

[mr greenleaf]

(12-17-2012 03:55 AM)SnakeEyes Wrote:  

I still don't know your goal. It sounds like your asking, "how should I respond to her getting attention from a high status male who has fucked her before?"

Are you emotionally invested?

I want to know what would you do in this situation if you were emotionally invested, which I am at this point.

[SnakeEyes]

(12-17-2012 04:02 AM)mr greenleaf Wrote:  

(12-17-2012 03:55 AM)SnakeEyes Wrote:  

I still don't know your goal. It sounds like your asking, "how should I respond to her getting attention from a high status male who has fucked her before?"

Are you emotionally invested?

I want to know what would you do in this situation if you were emotionally invested, which I am at this point.

My opinion? Act as if ain't no thang in public. In private use the rage to pound the pussy. And don't even think of marrying unless she has money.

Example of y don't rage in public or get butthurt:

I partied at a girl's house this week who I took out on a couple dates (2010) but never went anywhere with. I cut her off for 6 months, but never raged on her or acted butthurt. If I acted like a bitch I would have missed the chance to network through the other 10-15 girls who were there.

Think endgame. What is ur goal here?

[xsplat]

Sometimes you can get a girl to volunteer monogamy without offering it back to her. Or sometimes you can let her know you'll dump her if she fucks someone else.

But if you are out of town and she isn't expecting any long term commitment from you, you don't have a whole lot of leverage.

I dated a 10 once who was way crazy into me, but she was also into her fiance, who she went ahead and married. She later asked if she could pay for my airfare out from Thailand to come live nearby so I could be her 2nd man.

Your girl may be harboring similar hopes. One guy is good - why not have two? It's difficult to have leverage over a dime, no matter how in love with you they are. I mean, sure, she can cry and bawl, and pine after you for months and think of you for years, but she's a dime. No matter how emotionally invested she gets, she knows she doesn't have all that much to lose - sooner or later she'll get over you and some other guy will strike her fancy, and she'll be able to aim her sights pretty high.

Anyway, I don't know if you actually have any options at this point. I'd go on the assumption that she wants more than one lover in her life, and that this guy is romantically interested in her. She may be serious to keep you as her number one, and that might work out fine for you. Or the other guy may win her over while you are out of town. Doesn't sound like you have much leverage over her to get her to behave as you'd prefer, so you might want to just be upfront and explain whatever it is you want. But if you are honest, she might decide you aren't offering enough incentive not to have more than one guy. So, you might just have to ride out the feelings of pain and share her until you get over her enough to move on.

One way people work polyamory is to make rules that they can live with. You expect jealousy, but try to arrange things such that the jealousy is workable, and the the benefits out-weigh the cost. For yourself you might make a rule of don't ask don't tell, and just not think about it much. I've done that before with some girls, while I was spinning plates. I honestly didn't want to know what they were up to.

[esperar]

As soon as you have a fight with her, she'll be sucking his cock. No doubt about it.

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

(12-17-2012 03:53 AM)LouieG Wrote:  

Not sure if this is the right forum but regardless--

It's amazing how many problems in a man's life can be resolved by fucking a lot of girls. Not just one girl. A lot of girls.

I loved that scene in Little Miss Sunshine...

Quote:

"Fuck a lot of women, kid. I have no reason to lie to you. Not just one woman, a lot of women."

I don't have any useful advice for the OP. I don't think the odds of her actually banging him are high, but her behaviour is quite wrong. She shouldn't put you into that situation and threaten your relationship by it.

That said, from your words "The girl is totally smiten with me and has already asked on numerous occassions to be her BF", I don't get the feeling that you two are more than fuck-buddies. What did you tell her on those numerous occasions?

[bojangles]

Only thing I can think is that you're in Buenos Aires a city full of hot women, just fuck around there mate.

When you get back, ask her how her week/weekend was? then demolish her asshole.

[Dr. Howard]

This is always a risk and something you should probably take a zen approach to unless its your wife. If it is then you should actively intervene with shaming that its unbecoming behaviour for a married woman. Otherwise, take a "maybe" mindset and deal with the results as they come. Find a new project for the time being...oh wait, you are going to buenos aries...conundrum solved.

The maybe story...
There is a Taoist story of an old farmer who had worked his crops for many years. One day his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit. "Such bad luck," they said sympathetically. "Maybe," the farmer replied. The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it three other wild horses. "How wonderful," the neighbors exclaimed. "Maybe," replied the old man. The following day, his son tried to ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown, and broke his leg. The neighbors again came to offer their sympathy on his misfortune. "Maybe," answered the farmer. The day after, military officials came to the village to draft young men into the army. Seeing that the son's leg was broken, they passed him by. The neighbors congratulated the farmer on how well things had turned out. "May be," said the farmer.

[Basil Ransom]

Like someone else said, you don't have much leverage right now. While xsplat's point that she may be banging two guys, you and the friend, is entirely possible, it's probably not happening. Like Esperar said though, the moment your relationship hits a bump in the road, chances are way higher than normal that she'll cheat, especially with this friend. She's a dime who's used to getting her way.

For now, I would try not to make a big deal out of it. Bang her well. See if you can make her more emotionally dependent on you. Maybe talk to her dad about it if he's cool - some dads are pussies who think their daughters can do no wrong, and some are more realistic and sympathetic to the men dating them. If you're not her exclusive boyfriend, she may object to you having a say in the matter.

Decide whether the BFF is a dealbreaker. If it is, when she brings up getting serious with you, let her know her BFF is a dealbreaker. Don't tell her she's doing anything wrong, don't try and make her feel bad. You adopt a take it or leave it attitude, and tell her the truth.

"Jane, I appreciate that you want to get more serious. And I'd like to do that with you, but I'm hesitant, for a specific reason. Your relationship with your BFF gives me some pause, while I also don't want to pressure you. I'm not into controlling people, it's completely your choice to make, and whatever you choose, I understand and respect your choice." You're letting her know that you're uncomfortable with the situation, but that you won't pressure her at all... But that you will walk if she wants to keep the BFF. By putting the ball in her court like this, it's a win-win - she either gets with you and reduces contact with the BFF, or she drops you anx you're a free agent again. There is a risk of her getting serious with you while keeping the BFF around, without telling you. If this happens, then you break up with her.

If you believe that being single is better than seriously dating a girl with a BFF she's fucked, then this is a no-brainer. Remember, always be ready to walk at any moment, and women will reward you for it.

[mr greenleaf]

Thank for responses dudes, I'm chatting her up tonight about it. plan to stick my dick in her mouth as well.

[TheMan]

fuck other women

[Duke Castile]

Something that hasn't been addressed much is the likelyhood that the bff is probably planning on meeting up with her after the game. If there are drinks involved you know the guy is wanting to bang her again.

There really is nothing you can do about it. She's telling you it's her bff, whats the harm in that? She's got a guys mentality, as other's have pointed out, she's getting one thing from you and another from this guy. No way is an NFL player talking to her about her shoes for hours. These two fucked in Vegas six months ago and now they're best friends? Give me a fucking break.

You have to decide with whether or not you can keep banging her after you get back because I am 100% sure she's sleeping with this guy again, and possibly continuing to play the "it's my friend" game.

And that's assuming these two don't have the "I love you" conversation and she wants to date him instead of you.

Remember, he's an athlete, he'll want to fuck her just because it's just out of reach and he's competitive. And that's assuming they aren't having phone sex already.

I'm sorry man, but if it were me I'd do my best to emotionally withdraw.

[pobreinvestidor]

Didn't read anything except for the topic title but your answer is...
Find other girls

[Christian McQueen]

I would emotionally withdraw too. If you give her an ultimatum then she's going to run to her BFF and tell him talk shit etc. If he has an ounce of game he'll jump on that.

I would seriously start gaming other girls just as hot and start pulling away. No bitch NEEDS a MALE best friend when she has a BF. Period. I never put up with that with a GF. If he's that important to her then she can go date him.

[bojangles]

whats the update?

[Statsi]

Seems like 90% of newbie issues are solved with penis in vagina. You can't stop a girl sleeping with some other dude, just wreck her whenever you fuck her and make sure you are still building some momentum with other girls.

[Matt3B]

He's going to fuck her.

[sucio44]

Looks like RG3 is going to give your girl some throat yogurt. You just have to assume something will go down between them... probably her.

[_GQ_]

(12-20-2012 04:05 PM)MattC Wrote:  

He's going to fuck her.

And probably quite well.

Chalk this one up to the game dude. Maybe you can try to keep her, but don't much effort into it. Work on getting other action on the side in case things go tits up with this girl.

[Veloce]

I could be in the wrong here, but experience tells me that any girl that keeps in contact with a guy she's fucked does so to validate her attractiveness by receiving continuous attention from the former FB. She can claim all she wants, plead on her life, that they're just friends now. I don't buy it, and I never will. I've seen too much in my life that confirms otherwise.

As long as you understand this, continue at will. Bang other chicks. Pay this hot slut no mind.

Always remember: (this should be one of the player's 10 commandments) Whether it's a fling, a fuckbuddy, friends with benefits, dating, LTR, or marriage, the person who cares the least controls the relationship the most

[mr greenleaf]

(12-20-2012 05:27 AM)Fisto Wrote:  

Something that hasn't been addressed much is the likelyhood that the bff is probably planning on meeting up with her after the game. If there are drinks involved you know the guy is wanting to bang her again.

There really is nothing you can do about it. She's telling you it's her bff, whats the harm in that? She's got a guys mentality, as other's have pointed out, she's getting one thing from you and another from this guy. No way is an NFL player talking to her about her shoes for hours. These two fucked in Vegas six months ago and now they're best friends? Give me a fucking break.

You have to decide with whether or not you can keep banging her after you get back because I am 100% sure she's sleeping with this guy again, and possibly continuing to play the "it's my friend" game.

And that's assuming these two don't have the "I love you" conversation and she wants to date him instead of you.

Remember, he's an athlete, he'll want to fuck her just because it's just out of reach and he's competitive. And that's assuming they aren't having phone sex already.

I'm sorry man, but if it were me I'd do my best to emotionally withdraw.

All good points, but the catch is that they have been friends for 5+ years and only recently hooked up and before I met her. Its not like they just met and are now BFF, they have been that way for years. she isn't my GF, but she wants me to be. So I really do doubt anything would happen, (she is taking her dad to the game instead of me since I will be traveling) and he has to catch a flight back an hour after the game so they wont be hanging for very long and her dad is going to be there. So the chances are pretty minimal that something would happen.

But really my problem is that I can't say ditch your best friend that you have had in your life for years and be with me who you have only dated for a few months even though she wants more. That doesn't seem like I could say that right now and get a favorable response. Maybe if it was a LTR I could angle that play but Im pretty sure it would back fire right now.

[Doulos2Game]

(12-17-2012 03:40 AM)mr greenleaf Wrote:  

I get plenty of hot chicks these days....

And your problem is again........?

[mr greenleaf]

This one seems to have a soul, more so than the other whore bags I've met in 2012 . I'm actually considering making a run of a relationship so I mainly want a 3rd opinion. Easier being a outsider looking in than drinking my own cool-aide if you catch my drift.