[HiFlo]

Do you ever ask yourself "what the fuck did I do wrong"? Not in a way that you're sad about fucking up, but that you can't figure out what you did wrong so that you can fix it so you can do it right next time?

For example, tonight I attended an apartment complex holiday party -yeehaw - in hopes to meet some cool people in my place. As with most "events" there aren't a lot of cool people there, mostly office drones and - who woulda thought - people with no place better to be than a holiday office party. Regardless, there are 3 'sets' of cool people. I approach them all and open with some stupid shit like "hey you guys like cool, I'm<blah blah blah>." We make small talk and apparently everything I say is wrong because after 3-4 minutes all of them say, "hey, did you know there's food at this party? You look like you might be hungry, maybe you should grab some." What a expulsion that line is (that being said, I'm gonna keep it for future usage)!!!!!

If anything I was channeling the personality of my two heroes, Joe Kennedy and Johnny Rotten. Whatever, I left and got back to apartment, leaned against the wall and scratched my head pondering "what the fuck did I do wrong?" for a good 5 minutes. Not that I was insulted but that Im wondering...just...what...the...fuck!?!? Interestingly, the ones I spoke with were the cool people with cool clothes, cool hairstyles, etc - the ones you'd THINK would be least judging if you're trying to be individual self (but apparently the least friendliest unless you already "know what's what"...why is that?). It's the office-type drones who are the friendliest, who unfortunately happen to be the biggest bores and the ones you don't want to befriend or fuck.

That's my rant. I'm just lookin around hoping that others have been in the same shoes as I have and I'm not the only one treading this path alone.

[CMan0928]

Yup. Every morning when I wake up.

[HiFlo]

Well i guess I was looking for some more situation-specific confirmation that others have been there before rather than general everyday existentialist angst, which I'm already familiar with.

[CMan0928]

(12-12-2012 10:52 PM)HiFlo Wrote:  

Well i guess I was looking for some more situation-specific confirmation that others have been there before rather than general everyday existentialist angst, which I already know too well.

Sorry dude lol. What can I say? If they're lame people then they're lame people. What can ya really do? You also mentioned before they think you're gay and an outsider too, right? Maybe you just gotta win them over in time. But to be honest I wouldn't try too hard to do that. Be you. If they don't like it then fuck em.

[CMan0928]

Also, if there weren't any girls in those few sets you approached that you would consider banging, then care even less than my above post suggests.

[the virgin chronicles]

No one can tell you anything because we didn't hear the conversation. Maybe you were awkward, maybe they were jerks, maybe they were dealing with a death in the family.

Its not your job to please everyone. If you really want to know what you did maybe you can record your approaches and listen to them later. Treat it like a set.

[KorbenDallas]

Hiflo, I totally understand where you are coming from. Why can't these people just be normal and friendly? What's with the social weirdness of our generation? I'm 22, my friends who are my age are only my high school friends. It would be nice to know where your living, but it sounds like any town USA. People are so obsessed with weird things you just gotta find your niche. Maybe your too worried about wanting to be friends with "cool" people. Uncool people can be better friends. A lot of people who are socially awkward can have really cool interests or knowledge. The trick is with them is to cut them off when they get weird.

Here's my advice, I don't know if its any good, but here goes. Instead of worrying about what "you did wrong" figure out a code or set of values to live by. If others don't fit with what you've figured out what you want to be, fuck em. Your letting others dictate that your worth less than them. They were dicks to you, but your the one who's worried about what you did to offend them! You have an inferiority complex I think. Talk about what you want to talk about. Don't TRY if that makes sense. Don't worry, be happy. LOL I don't know man, smoke some weed.

[bojangles]

you should play on the 'being gay' and 'outsider' thing.

[reino341]

I'm at the point where I can usually figure out if I came across as uncalibrated/needy/incongruent, or if the people I talked to were just being prejudicious antisocial dickheads.

In either case, doesn't matter, live an learn.

And tvc is right, it's impossible for anyone here to tell what went wrong. But playing the devil's advocate, let's say you were visibly drunk and self-conscious about being at the party alone. The group will pretty quickly pick up on these cues and determine that you're a needy guy trying to join the party and leech off of their good vibe. Seeing that this happened you three times it's probably not just some jerk wanting to exert social power and make you look like a loser.

Do you drink a lot? Try to get a feel of what was going through your head and what your state was like, you'll probably find the answer. Getting blown out from sets like that is nothing out of ordinary for me when coming from the frame of scarcity.

[el mechanico]

Ok.
1. you get banned from clubs for being "creepy"

2. people whisper "he's gay" in stores

3. The cool kids at your complex don't want to chat

There's a problem here.

You need to find the closest respected forum member and let him watch you for a day to see what's going on.

[HiFlo]

I know. Things have been getting worse and worse. It's creating a pretty vicious cycle on my selfesteem.

All this shit started when I did two things: listened and internalized a lot of the concepts from the RSD Blueprint and start fucking around with drugs. Both those things opened my eye so to speak, but fucked me up in a big way too.

[CMan0928]

Are you still smoking Meth, HiFlo?

[HiFlo]

no

[SnakeEyes]

(12-13-2012 09:34 AM)reino341 Wrote:  

And tvc is right, it's impossible for anyone here to tell what went wrong. But playing the devil's advocate, let's say you were visibly drunk and self-conscious about being at the party alone. The group will pretty quickly pick up on these cues and determine that you're a needy guy trying to join the party and leech off of their good vibe. Seeing that this happened you three times it's probably not just some jerk wanting to exert social power and make you look like a loser.

Do you drink a lot? Try to get a feel of what was going through your head and what your state was like, you'll probably find the answer. Getting blown out from sets like that is nothing out of ordinary for me when coming from the frame of scarcity.

Agreed. Negative thoughts in a party environment is a major mood/boner killer for everyone is. Like when weed smokers mention their "buzz" being killed.

Stay fun stay positive and avoid negative thoughts as they are self-reinforcing. I've been really happy lately since I have money, good health, and fun friends. every week or so I remember to tell myself that my base normal emotion should be happiness, not negative.

Oh, and be aloof to everything. These events are no different than a tumbleweed blowing by in front of you.

[HiFlo]

Cool answers bros. I'm walkin thru life like seriously a beaten bitch dog right now, and the question I wrestle with is how to climb out & fly. Was happier when ignorance was bliss, but ignorance is not wisdom after all.