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The fuck buddy friend zone
12-12-2012, 07:27 PM
You have the ideal situation so don't complain, I've been there a few times. Enjoy it while it lasts.
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The fuck buddy friend zone
12-12-2012, 07:41 PM
If you molded it one way, you can mold it another. Try it as an experiment.
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The fuck buddy friend zone
12-12-2012, 09:08 PM
Tell them straight up you're not their emotional tampons. Don't respond to their shit or their questions unless it's to grunt in acknowledgement that they've said something but without actually knowing what they've said.
They'll probably get more hot for you if you do that. You're right about women moulding, but they do it too. They're obviously comfortable with what's going on but you're not. Break the rhythm. Send their hamsters wild with confusion and arousal.
Although in all honesty, it sounds like you've got a pretty sweet deal going on.
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The fuck buddy friend zone
12-13-2012, 02:58 AM
OP: you are in an IDEAL situation. Let these chicks spend their time thinking/wondering/texting about other dudes while giving you full access. If you want more intimacy with the next girl you bang try a little cuddling post smash, exchange massages or take her for a quick bite in the AM. Right now, in their minds, you are the guy whom they enjoy getting naked with, which is cool. Ride the wave while you can.
I get older....they stay the same age....yes they do
Success breeds confidence.....confidence breeds success
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The fuck buddy friend zone
12-13-2012, 04:01 AM
If you want to modify their beliefs, modify their behavior. Cut off conversations where she is treating you like one of the girls. Sometimes I say things like "I don't want to talk about relationship stuff. If you want to talk about that kind of thing talk about it with your girlfriends".
Changing the subject is also fine, but sometimes you need to bring a fine point to things. And that's another thing that can change the relationship dynamic; taking charge and laying out clear boundaries, even at the cost of creating drama or breaking up the relationship entirely. That's a move that shows your dominance, which also puts you more into the category of the type of male she'll think of as worthy for being a mate.
The way i see it, we can either own a girl and enjoy more intimacy as well as control over her, or let her be more free and loosen our attachments. Greater intimacy is greater risk, and greater reward. Meaning it's not always better - the risk/reward is not always in our favor - sometimes light and easy strikes a nice balance. No one can answer for you how much intimacy and control is the right balance for you.
But if you want to move it towards more intimacy and control, you're going to have to play the role, and demand from her that her actions conform to your expectations. You do that with limiting her speach, and also by imposing external frameworks, such as how you walk together. Make her hold your elbow when you go out. Make her make you breakfast. If her actions are telling her that she has a certain relationship with you, internally she'll start to believe that she does.
You can try some role play in bed too, if you want her to feel more bonded to you as her authority. It's kind of amazing how cross cultural the role play games are that we come up with, as if there are these archetypes that we naturally plug into. I hear guys tell me stories of the petite girl from Columbia who called him Daddy during sex, and then you hear the same story from a guy in New York, Manilla, Bangkok, and on and on. Which of us hasn't tried rape play at some point? Sex is a great time to explore dominance themes, and that will cement the girl to you and have her start to look up to you as her authority.
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The fuck buddy friend zone
12-13-2012, 07:52 AM
I don't see the bad thing about this.
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The fuck buddy friend zone
12-13-2012, 08:29 AM
Are you uncomfortable that they put you in the box? Are you looking for the ego boost of knowing that a chick wants more from you, but you instead keep her in the box?
"The best kind of pride is that which compels a man to do his best when no one is watching."
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The fuck buddy friend zone
12-13-2012, 01:01 PM
Quote: (12-13-2012 09:27 AM)WesternCancer Wrote:
What usually happens is the FBs drop out once they get a boyfriend. They're just using me as a cockhopping stone to the better man (as expected) that will provide alpha status and commitment.
Yeah, I know this feeling and I don't like it at all. It's like on the one hand it's cool that she's fucking YOU, but on the other hand it raises the issue "what am I missing that attracts this girl to fuck me but not get into a relationship with?" And it's only after you start to like her that you realize you're nothing more than a stepping-stone.
What's funny too is that these same girls will fuck YOU on the same night, but then get into a relationship with some dude who wines & dines them with flowers and crap and they don't have sex until the 3 or 4th date. But somehow he's more alpha than you. Anyway, that's what's happened to me before and it does hurt.
I dont have a solution though. lol.
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The fuck buddy friend zone
12-13-2012, 03:44 PM
ITT: 1st world problems.
Just keep your fuckbuddies then find another girl who wants you to marry her and string her along, whatever.
The girls arent gaming for more because they know you wont give it to them. You have them broken in, so you are the most alpha by default.
DISCLAIMER: I don't know what I'm talking about and my posts are opinion, not advice.
Quote:Gmac Wrote:
your time > her feelings
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The fuck buddy friend zone
12-13-2012, 04:32 PM
funny, i just went on a wine date with a girl who ended up saying she had a BF but that I didn't had to worry about getting to know her better = becoming her next Fuckbuddy friend and maybe LTR if she decides to dump her guy. Weird experience, she mentioned that times have come for girls also, not just men, to be players. In other words, it's my guess she seeks a
mini relationship.
"Fart, and if you must, fart often. But always fart without apology. Fart for freedom, fart for liberty, and fart proudly" (Ben Franklin)
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The fuck buddy friend zone
12-14-2012, 09:25 AM
Quote: (12-13-2012 09:27 AM)WesternCancer Wrote:
Quote: (12-13-2012 08:29 AM)Timoteo Wrote:
Are you uncomfortable that they put you in the box? Are you looking for the ego boost of knowing that a chick wants more from you, but you instead keep her in the box?
Yes and no. I'm not complaining about regular pussy, but its as if they don't respect me. What usually happens is the FBs drop out once they get a boyfriend. They're just using me as a cockhopping stone to the better man (as expected) that will provide alpha status and commitment. To me when a girl tells me that she isn't looking for anything serious right now, complains there no good men only pigs who use them for sex (what I had just done to them and they knew that), says men suck and shes not interested in a relationship then weeks later gets into a relationship, it feels the same was as being friendzoned in the traditional sense. Like others have suggested I think it has to be the way I frame our interactions which makes them act this way.
Just a couple of ideas...
have you considered that maybe they don't trust you on that level since you were willing to "use" them in that way? Kind of like when a guy gets a girl to cheat on her man, its hard to take her seriously as a potential LTR b/c you know she is a cheater.
Or maybe that there is some other aspect of your lifestyle (living situation, job, etc) that isn't attractive in that way? I've had some friends who despite being out of college for a while still live that way, and women are willing to sleep with them, but don't see them as viable candidates for anything beyond that.