[michelin]

One of the key things I learned from Game is not to give a shit about many many things. In other words, to become desensitized to many things, like what people think about you.

Early in the game I thought this would mean to become inhuman, some sort of monster. Nothing is less true. To be desensitized does not mean to become a monster. It just means: not giving a shit to become a better guy in that what you want to become.

Biggest problem was to care too much about what people around you think about you (during game, at work, giving a speech, etc. Roosh's strategy (in Day bang) not to give a fuck about people around you, imagining PEOPLE ALREADY HATE YOU turns out to be very effective. Another strategy is to do as if all people around me are so busy with themselves that they have no idea that I'm in the room. as a matter of fact people ARE too busy with themselves or talking to others they don't even notice you.

What is your best strategy to become desensitized?

[lush1]

I just made a thread on a similar theme

http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-18178.html

[Anon-A-Moose]

I'm too self absorbed. I literally do not notice anything except those around me who I actually care about engaging--and those I've gotten relatively good at dominating mentally (game + very intuitive + good psych knowledge). Game has made me narcissistic around women and lesser men in certain venues. The cruelty is, while it's a bad habit (and very unnatural for me), it just rewards me. Hooray for being around 18-22 year olds all day.

[XXL]

Getting comfortable is natural consequence of consistent repetition.

[dulst]

Don't desensitise yourself man. There is a short term gain to doing so but it'll fuck you up in the long run. Humans are evolved to worry about what other people think of us, because prior to our current society and its various safety nets social rejection meant death and loneliness.

The next time you find yourself worried about people's opinions of you, notice that feeling of social anxiety, be aware of it, acknowledge it, then let it pass naturally. Personally I've found this more successful and less soul destroying than desensitisation and suppression.

[michelin]

Useful thoughts here. Let me reframe this. I feel actually I am over/hypersensitive to people's comments or criticism on this or that, often futilities that don't matter.

Dulst points to losing your empathy towards others. I think desensitizing myself to some degree would not transform me into a robot, but make me LESS sensitive to my environment. I'm intrigued by how I could "let it pass naturally" in the moment.

XXL believes in repetition until you become desensitized, but how much repetition is needed until you have a long term change? Like Lush I often feel a "fallback" into a prior moment (let's call it the "hypersensitive me")

Like Anon-a-moose, I feel self-absorbed, but it is precisley this self-centredness actually what makes me think my IMAGE is at stake (looks, impressions others might have of me, what they can hear I'm saying in public, etc)

When running day-game, for example, I would constantly look around what other people might think of this, instead of being focused on the girl. Chicks smell this insecurity like dogs...

[storm]

Traveling will help. New experiences, people.

I once spent a night homeless during a blizzard. Haven't been nearly so sensitive since.

[SpiderKing]

Enjoying the evening with choice quotes from Marcus Aurelius.

[Dr. Howard]

I'm going more with what Storm said. Gain more experiences and you will get de-sensitized to what you think is critical now. A good flood, forest fire, personal economic disaster, diabolical woman, double crossing friend, etc. gives you perspective.

Travel, on a more permanent basis is also good. You'll see how quickly your memory or presence is erased from 99% of the people you had contact with where you came from and how you create your own success in wherever you end up. That really de-sensitized me.

In the end, the only people who really remember anything about you are your kids, everyone else is too busy thinking of their own lives.

[dulst]

The let it pass thing is hard to explain. The way it feels for me is that I just stop resisting the negative emotion. Doing that makes it gradually fizzle out and you deal with it.

[Stitch]

I'm not sure that pretending everyone already hates you is the best idea unless you want to project an aggressive/defensive vibe. Basically the best way to desensitize yourself to an experience is to repeatedly experience it. Easier said than done if you have approach anxiety (I still have approach anxiety even though I've acted on stage in front of crowds and have no trouble with public speaking). But there's one reason the classic "noob mission" is to walk down a street or mall and just say hello to every woman you run across: old, young, hot, not.

Massively punishing life experiences can actually help by producing perspective. I'm a helluva lot more outgoing post-divorce because fuck, getting shot down ain't so bad after losing half your retirement and then some to a self-centered cow who felt she shouldn't be held to a vow she made when she was young. I wouldn't recommend that method for building confidence, mind you, but it does work: http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/04/is-the...-events-e/

Quote:

Thanks to this study, today we can say for certain, not just anecdotally, that great suffering or trauma can actually lead to great positive change across a wide range of experiences. After the March 11, 2004, train bombings in Madrid, for example, psychologists found many residents experienced positive psychological growth. So too do the majority of women diagnosed with breast cancer. What kind of positive growth? Increases in spirituality, compassion for others, openness, and even, eventually, overall life satisfaction. After trauma, people also report enhanced personal strength and self-confidence, as well as a heightened appreciation for, and a greater intimacy in, their social relationships.

[michelin]

Roosh just posted on this topic.

http://www.rooshv.com/bang-missions-are-therapy

Great strategies. The "core" strategy to desensitize and get rid of your anxieties according to Roosh is to approach a zillion times.

[Architekt]

I don't think desensitising yourself or not giving a shit is necessarily what you're looking for - the reasons behind why those things happen is your goal. You stop caring about other people's opinions when you're completely confident in your own. That's the goal - to be so self assured that you become "desensitised" to other people's opinions about you or your actions.

[damngringo]

Drinking is bad, feelings are worse © lol

[Dubby]

(12-04-2012 04:40 PM)dulst Wrote:  

The let it pass thing is hard to explain. The way it feels for me is that I just stop resisting the negative emotion. Doing that makes it gradually fizzle out and you deal with it.

It actually works quite well, but yeah it's hard to explain. It's basically what every New Age and self-help book is referring to when they say "You are not your mind" and "dont identify with your thoughts".

There's a book out there called "The Confidence Gap", i suggest the op take a look at it. its not a new age spiritual bullshit book, dont worry, and it's helped me a lot.