[lush1]

OK unfortunately I wear my heart on my sleeve and genuinely go out of my way to help people wherever I can, male or female. Obviously this doesn't fit at all well with becoming a player so I need to override my natural instincts to be caring, see the best in people etc and become a cold hearted bastard.

If any of you are familiar with The Walking Dead TV series you will know there is a hard arse black girl in the most recent series who looks after numero uno and never lets her guard down for one second. I want to be more like her and view every female with suspicion.

Its a strange thing to want to learn but has anyone got any tips on how to become more callous? I was honestly thinking being purposefully rude to a shop assistant once a day or something... anything to make me less sensitive to other peoples feelings.

l

[Giovonny]

Why do you want to become more callous?

Do you think you will get more pussy?

Do you think you will have a more fulfilling life?

[NYJ]

It sounds like to me you want to become what Roissy calls the caring asshole.

He had a post very recently about being the right type of asshole. Go check that out.

[lush1]

(11-29-2012 02:48 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  

Why do you want to become more callous?

Do you think you will get more pussy?

Do you think you will have a more fulfilling life?

Not get me more pussy but help keep the pussy I have and avoid me being affected emotionally by pussy and yes it will definitely help me have a more fulfilling life.

[vinman]

Humans develop emotional bonds with humans. Those that don't are damaged.

[Matt3B]

Being an asshole to people for the sake of it won't fulfil your life in any way.

I've gone down a similar path, I used to be a bit like you. It comes with time, but you've got to make your main focus you. That comes from a heightened sense of self esteem, thinking that you're above others and choosing carefully who deserves your time. Literally they have to do something or be something that deserves your attention.

Do things that will raise your profile to yourself if you're not already. Get to the gym, buy new clothes, that sort of thing. Accept your ego inflation and you'll find it becomes quite natural.

[Stitch]

It's okay to be sensitive to others' feelings. It's arguably a very good thing. Where you come into danger is when you put yourself at risk for the sake of others without being goddamn sure you won't lose big because someone arbitrarily lets you down.

[Parlay44]

You have to learn how to compartmentalize your emotions. You can control fear, anger, resentment, jealousy etc.
You can choose to feel them. You can choose to feel individually. You can choose to not feel them at all. You can also
learn how to project your feelings and emotions onto other people in order to get them to do things. Inner game stuff.

Unfortunately sometimes it takes a great painful event to occur to put your mind into "recovery mode". That's when you
really learn how your mind works and how to control it.

You should watch a movie called Love in the time of Cholera. The guy has some serious one-itis and after the girl leaves
for another guy he goes through a long term period of emotional distress and depression. It was good for him and necessary.
He ends up being a huge life long player after that.

[MidniteSpecial]

There's a fine line between not caring about things and being a dick. You can still be a nice person while being care free. The guy who gets mad in traffic cursing out the world while blowing his horn is also the beta going home to being shifted on my his wife everyday. You feel me?

[NewSpark]

I think maybe what lush1 is concerned about is being the type of "nice guy" who gets taken for a chump, whose kindness is consistently and constantly taken for weakness and then gets jerked around for it. I realized I was in that camp of nice guys when I taught public school and was surrounded by crazy little kids and bitter, crazy feminist women, young and old (and ugly)--the realization of being THAT type of nice guy was a real bitter pill. Or red pill.

[Stitch]

Agreed, NewSpark; that's what I was trying to say myself. I was in the same place (arguably still am in some ways); nothing sucks more than being hurt/robbed BECAUSE you were a good guy. Protecting yourself so you're not taken advantage of isn't callous, it's necessary.

[Anon-A-Moose]

I'm very attentive and caring and emotionally tuned, extremely empathic, and people lean on me and appreciate me. But that's only to a few select people. I deal with too many faces, too many numbers, too many pairs of tits, too many stories, to give a fuck. Maybe its just my impression but I always felt it happened naturally after enough time that you just got desensitized.

[bojangles]

(11-29-2012 05:51 PM)NewSpark Wrote:  

I think maybe what lush1 is concerned about is being the type of "nice guy" who gets taken for a chump, whose kindness is consistently and constantly taken for weakness and then gets jerked around for it. I realized I was in that camp of nice guys when I taught public school and was surrounded by crazy little kids and bitter, crazy feminist women, young and old (and ugly)--the realization of being THAT type of nice guy was a real bitter pill. Or red pill.

Agree with this, most of us were probably that type of guy