[beta_plus]

What are good openers for quiet bars? While I used "You guys look like you are having the most fun here" and its variations in busy bars, it's hard to know what to do when things are quiet.

The situation is that I was seated near two girls earlier tonight in a quiet bar (it's TG weekend in DC - EVERY bar is quiet). One of the girls was looking around, clearly interested in talking with people. The other girl at least didn't look possessive and hostile. Both were slender, so I didn't have to worry about upsetting the fat one. I just could not figure out what to do. I've tried hi energy openers in bars including "Most fun here" that were quiet just to have it blow up in my face, and was not interested in experiencing that again.

Do I just used the "Most fun here" opener but with different energy? Or should I try something else?

[reino341]

dude, forget openers, way too rigid. you can't unconditionally throw some line and expect it to match the vibe. there's a word for it, incongruent.

[XXL]

Any sound that comes out of your mouth is an opener. You can say whatever as long as you it's not some stupid shit. Learn how to carry on the conversation and how to deal with initial social pressure and you're good to go.

Analogy:
Depending on some opener is like knowing only one road that you can pick going from one area of the city to another one [opening with the special opener]. If that road happens to be closed [you opener doesn't open smoothly or at all] you can only turn around [it didn't work, you walk away]. However, if you have a map in your head then you know a lot of roads you can pick [conversational skills] and then when you see that the road you picked at first is closed [your first opener doesn't open smoothly or at all] you simply take another road [you adjust in real time and go more fancy, you stay calm and keep talking like nothing happened or re-approach later], you're still going in your direction but you're driving a bit slower [due to that initial social pressure/awkwardness on girls' part which takes some time to deal with]. This is kind of how it works.

check VERBALS in my sig for some inspiration

[rationalize_this]

There's no tried and true opener that will magically spark her interest, but that has happened a few times where I've been complimented on something creative. You have to perpetuate the interest. Or your just another lame poser occupying space and boring her. It doesnt matter what you open with as long as you back it up with congruence.

If you insist on using something canned in a quiet place because you lack the frame or confidence to come up with something original try:
"i'm craving some intelligent conversation, you got any?" <slightly bemused smile>

Be prepared to lead the convo after that, her response will be asking for a topic of
interest. Opinion questions usually do the trick, extra points if you drop hidden bait during.

[wi30]

I sometime get hung up on openers too. If you can't think of anything clever to say a simple "what's up" will suffice. As long as you are interesting and different from every awkward guy that normally hits on her it really doesn't matter what you say to start the interaction.

[Vicious]

"Is it always this dead here?"

It's not rocket science, use whatever the environment gives you.

[Brosemite]

(11-26-2012 01:08 PM)Vicious Wrote:  

"Is it always this dead here?"

It's not rocket science, use whatever the environment gives you.

Use what environment gives you exactly. Some stupid openers, or what I call dumb excuses to socialize at a bar:

If bartender/wait staff is busy.....
1) Is the kitchen still open?
2) Would you happen to know what the credit card minimum is?
3) Is it happy hour pricing still?
4) Would you happen to know where the restroom is?
5) What are the drink specials tonight?

More nonsense:
1) What's the special occassion, what brings you hear tonight?
2) What kind of drink is that?

etc, etc, etc

[Prowl]

"are you here for the gangbang?"

"this orgy is getting off to a slow start"

[WestIndianArchie]

Depends on the type of game you want to run.

- quiet bar
- 2 chicks under 120, 1 chick clearly over 150
- talking to themselves quietly
- it's just you, no wing man, no wing woman.

You want to
- get their attention
- open them up
- figure out the relationships between each other
- understand their group dynamic
- know the logistics (who drove who, who's sleeping where)
- disarm the war pig (or charm the war pig, nothing wrong with bbw bj !)
- figure out which of the 2 you want, and who wants you

They will probably hear all of your words, which means your standard drunk and hot girls spiel will have to come up a notch.

Whole situation is messy, but workable.

1. what I do - I make eye contact with the cute one, and use that as an excuse to get in their little group.

2. opportunist - wait for one to go off, and holler at her

3. gorilla - grab an arm, (hood tested, not approved for hipsters and professionals)

4. 2002 Mystery/style game - question, time constraint, opener, tease/banter, story, start to screen, neg/ignore, transition,isolate, comfort, rapport, move to sex location, overcome last minute resistance, bust a nut, set expectations.

5. Magnet Tar Pit Trap - talk loud, to someone a wing/bartender, so they can hear you, about something they can chime in on, and turn the mic to them. Draw them in.

6. Cunt Fu - Tao of the Dancing Monkey aka Flash Game

"OMG, COULD YOU 3 BE QUIET, ESPECIALLY HER"
her being the quietest one
"I'M TRYING TO HONOR ALL OF THE DEAD INDIANS"
*dramatic pause*

Transition into a laugh or smile, ice broken.

You can play a character and have them play along...but it's standard old school game.

7. Be Authentic - I think is 07 game, but basically

- you - "hey"
- them - "hey"

OPEN! You're "holding the frame". In your reality, it's okay to talk to strangers, even in quiet bars, nothing weird about that, and if you don't make it weird or come off weird, then it's not weird.

There's a million ways to play it, but unless you're Ed Norton, don't think that your acting is so good they don't realize that you're trying to fuck one or all of them. IME, you need to own it and never shy away from it.

Notches - it's a skill game, it's a numbers game, it's a persistence game, it's a logistics game..

Nowadays the real problems aren't quiet venues, but smart phones. On the one hand, good engagement of 1 or 2 of them, the other chick has her phone, but getting them broads to look up, and not keep checking it....

WIA