[Moma]

(11-07-2012 03:49 AM)oldnemesis Wrote:  

(11-06-2012 09:23 AM)Moma Wrote:  

I totally disagree with the bolded. Children need to have fear of something.

They fear the punishment, which doesn't have to be physical. Look at the teachers at the school, they maintain the discipline in the class without any need to slap the kids, and it is typically better than at home.

In my school, they didn't fear the teachers, the discipline maintained had nowt to do with the teachers. Now, I have been to schools were the cane was a part of the curriculum and the kids there were much more orderly.

[Walderschmidt]

(11-07-2012 05:05 PM)Moma Wrote:  

How old are you (as we type this prose) that your Dad still needs to spank you? Good gosh, I thought the spanks stop after 16 surely!

Hahaha - I guess I did not word that very well.

I'm 20 and in university.

He has not spanked me probably since I was 13/14 I think. The point I was making, is that his discipline set a precedent for me. He has does need to be so strict because he doesn't need to be anymore. I still fear and respect the old man.

I have seen the value in how he has raised me by observing kids around me today.

I'm willing to bet that if you know a guy who "just needs to get his ass kicked" - he probably wasn't disciplined properly by his parents.

Wald

[Moma]

(11-07-2012 05:18 PM)Walderschmidt Wrote:  

Hahaha - I guess I did not word that very well.

I'm 20 and in university.

He has not spanked me probably since I was 13/14 I think. The point I was making, is that his discipline set a precedent for me. He has does need to be so strict because he doesn't need to be anymore. I still fear and respect the old man.

I have seen the value in how he has raised me by observing kids around me today.

I'm willing to bet that if you know a guy who "just needs to get his ass kicked" - he probably wasn't disciplined properly by his parents.

Wald

I would go even further and say that a lot of these disorderly lizards who act out of line are in alignment with your prediction.

[Alpha Hunter Zero]

This thread got me thinking. To all other forum members: besides using your hands for disciplinary action, do you ever think you will resort to more traditional methods such as meter sticks or other blunt objects to put your future kids in line?

[oldnemesis]

(11-07-2012 04:56 PM)Moma Wrote:  

I disagree. I didn't say brutalise the child, I said they need to fear some physical reprise.
You may be lucky you have a child that listens and you also have a girl but it is within the psychology of some to laugh their arses off at timeouts. They do not work across the board.

Well, hopefully you remember that I have three kids, so I'm kinda talking from my personal experience too. Not being able to go to park with you, play xbox or chat online with their friends (depending on age) is a much more fearful for a modern kid than a spanking they forget about in ten minutes.

[Cincinnatus]

(11-07-2012 08:13 PM)Alpha Hunter Zero Wrote:  

This thread got me thinking. To all other forum members: besides using your hands for disciplinary action, do you ever think you will resort to more traditional methods such as meter sticks or other blunt objects to put your future kids in line?

I've never really thought about it.

I do know that fear of getting my ass beat with the paddle or my dad's leather belt helped keep me in line. Sometimes I'd think I could get away with something, then I'd get busted and get busted on the ass a few times. I'd always get pissed at myself for thinking that I could get away with something, knowing the assbeating to come if and when I got caught.

[R Smoov]

Honestly, I grew up to where my pops was a dick and my mom was a dick to.
We were all dicks to each other despite the middle class.

Now that I'm 20 nigga, I'm gonna make sure my mom is cool with my college so she can be connected with some cool people of her generation

[The Fantasist]

(11-07-2012 04:56 PM)Moma Wrote:  

(11-07-2012 05:23 AM)Vorkuta Wrote:  

Speaking as someone who has an 8 year old daughter I concur entirely.

I don't smack my daughter,not because I have a moral problem doing so,but because I simply don't need to. My daughter knows if she misbehaves she will go to her room until I allow her out. And she knows I follow through with my threats of punishment so she does not try to challenge my authority. Also slapping teaches her that violence ( I use the word lightly ) is a way to accomplish things in life,when it isn't. If the milk man forgets my milk I don't punch him,so why my daughter?

My father was a terriblly naughty child,always in trouble. His father beat the shit
out of him every time he did something bad,had zero effect except now my father hates my grandfather for being such a violent parent ( my grandfather broke my young fathers bones ) and it made my father hard as nails and violent. So if such extreme chastising doesn't work a slap won't either. It's a myth. Every hood rat in the ghetto was beaten,did it stop criminality?!

I would take a guess that almost everyone saying beat a child doesn't actually
have a child.

I disagree. I didn't say brutalise the child, I said they need to fear some physical reprise.
You may be lucky you have a child that listens and you also have a girl but it is within the psychology of some to laugh their arses off at timeouts. They do not
work across the board.
If timeouts work, great but a smack is also good.

I hear your argument but let me chip in with this:
Supposing you have a child who does not listen to you. You decide to slap his backside and it still makes no difference,what then? You step up the physicality? And if that has no effect? Hit harder? It's a dilemma right? When do you realize it ain't working?

It's not a panacea.

[Moma]

(11-08-2012 06:13 AM)Vorkuta Wrote:  

I hear your argument but let me chip in with this:
Supposing you have a child who does not listen to you. You decide to slap his backside and it still makes no difference,what then? You step up the physicality? And if that has no effect? Hit harder? It's a dilemma right? When do you realize it ain't working?

It's not a panacea.

You raise a valid point and let me start with this:

If timeouts don't work for your child since you do not consider physical discipline as part of the solution, what do you do? Increase the length of timeouts? Take away the priviledges?

Look at it like this:

The shock of a smack sends a primal message to the being. It warns the person of danger and is the fastest way to get a point across.

If a child touches a hot stove, does the stove verbally reprimand the child by saying "Hey, I'm hot, be careful?"
No, the stove sends searing heat and causes the individual to yelp in pain and jump back. Now the brain will remember that incident and choose to avoid it in the future. It is part of the learning process.

By using physical discipline, one is teaching the individual that there are repercussions for their behaviour.

Again, I'm not avoiding going HAM on any child but I am saying I grew up with smacks and I would see my generation is better rounded that the newer ones who grow up untouched and end up self entitled princes and princesses.

Theoretically, the timeout policy seems cool but I believe the child education process should involve a multitude of teaching methods.

[Alpha Hunter Zero]

I was never really that bad a kid growing up. Ever since I began gaining conscious of what I was doing I was punished for getting out of line. Belts and other objects were barely used, I got the message the few times they were used. Time outs and hands were the usual routine. Just the fear of my dad's fists and my mom's strong right hand usually kept my ass in line. Looking at today's generation Im disgusted with what they get away with and how much they complain that they have it really hard. What takes the cake though is when I see little kids bossing their parents around in public and the parents take the abuse, cower in fear, and comply with the little brats' orders without smacking them. That's something that really makes my blood boil. Think about it. These kids grow up bossing around and shitting on the very people that gave them life without reprecussions. Now imagine the entitlement, arrogance, and ego those little kids are going to have as adults towards other people who arent related to them.

[BIGINJAPAN]

The job of a parent is not to be the child's friend. Parents must be respected at all times and not worry about how they are portrayed outside the house. I think too many parents want to be there kids best friend and be a big part of there social life. For all us future fathers out there remember this; respect must be maintained at all times over and above everything else. Otherwise those little shits will grow up to be pyschopaths. If that includes spanking then by all means spank away. Never give an inch. Especially with all these other parents who don't give a shit about what their kids are up to.