[bojangles]

I told one friend I thought he was becoming one of the guys mentioned in this:

http://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2011/1...r-problem/

he promptly dumped the slut and started on his red pill path

[Prophylaxis]

^^ Awesome article bojangles.

(11-07-2012 05:26 AM)RolloTommasi Wrote:  

"Understanding Game, for lack of a better term, how and why it functions, is literally a survival skill. Think about the importance of the decisions we make based on uninquisitive, flimsy and misdirected presumption we have been conditioned to believe about love, gender, sex, relationships, etc. Think about the life impact that these decisions have not only on ourselves, but our families, the children that result from them, and every other domino that falls as a repercussion."

We often start off on this path (understanding Game etc) to get our dick wet easier, with less hassle. The wider impact in our mindset changes shaped by these experiences will have an enormous influence on our future. We won't be bound down by a possessive partner, because it's not in our hard-wiring to settle for that. We won't fall for a succubus because these women know they won't get anywhere with us.

We feel bad for friends who are whipped because they are yet come this realisation and empowerment. However, you can only lead a horse to water...

[Samseau]

(11-07-2012 03:37 AM)oldnemesis Wrote:  

Quote:

He was in a relationship with an ultra bitchy woman. For the first year, I put up with it. Eventually I could not take it anymore and told him his girl was a cunt. He refused to believe it. I told him there were better women out there and he could have one if he put in the effort. He didn't believe me.

This doesn't mean she wasn't what he was looking for. Even here in America not everyone tries to get the best they could (and in Europe pretty much nobody does that; and being European myself I consider it ridiculous waste of life efforts), quite a lot of people are fine to settle up with someone they're comfortable with.

Since it was his first girlfriend, how would he have known any better? It's not like he was settling with a "good enough" girl. He was ignorantly choosing one woman because he didn't know any better.

Quote:

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Suddenly, one day, he calls me up. His girl dumped him. I'm validated. He wants to hang out with me again. We've been spending a lot of time together again and he's ashamed of his past.
He's still a beta but at least he knows the truth.

Sorry to disappoint you buddy, but he'll do the same as soon as he meets another chick he's comfortable with. You are just his rebound. Don't expect too much out of it.

No, he's already introduced me to his newest GF. I told him I don't think much of her, and he makes the effort to visit me on Sunday afternoons without her. I've been hanging with him every week for nearly 4 months straight, during which he still sees his GF.

Have you ever had a close friend before?

Quote:

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So it is possible to keep friends who become whipped even if you stand up to them and fight them, because it plants the seeds of doubt into their minds.

Unfortunately this is not the case at all.
Why?
Because she dumped him, and not vice versa.
If what you said was true, he would dump her.

But him getting dumped was a slap of cold hard reality. He learned what a mistake it was to put his trust into a woman over his friends. He realized I was right, and that's why he returned and apologized to me.

[oldnemesis]

(11-07-2012 10:01 AM)Samseau Wrote:  

Since it was his first girlfriend, how would he have known any better? It's not like he was settling with a "good enough" girl. He was ignorantly choosing one woman because he didn't know any better.

A "girlfriend" is typically more about a "friend" than a "girl", people tend to choose someone because they're comfortable with them, not because they're an opposite sex. And most people do fairly well with friends, being done so since the daycare times, and they simply don't care if there is someone even better. You have to have a specific personality to chase for the better your whole life (which basically means you're never happy with what you have), and most people are lucky not to have it.

In fact your friend did incredibly well. Almost three years for the first relationship is impressive. A lot of marriages here in US don't make it past a two year mark.

Quote:

No, he's already introduced me to his newest GF. I told him I don't think much of her, and he makes the effort to visit me on Sunday afternoons without her. I've been hanging with him every week for nearly 4 months straight, during which he still sees his GF.

So apparently he did not get the idea that "there exists something better than his monogamous life with a bitchy woman", and he did not take your advice seriously. Which was the point.

Quote:

But him getting dumped was a slap of cold hard reality. He learned what a mistake it was to put his trust into a woman over his friends. He realized I was right, and that's why he returned and apologized to me.

So he is now spending as much time with you as before (and more than with his newest GF)?
Or just the bare minimum to keep your relationship alive, so he wouldn't have to apologize again?

[Prophylaxis]

(11-07-2012 05:13 PM)oldnemesis Wrote:  

You have to have a specific personality to chase for the better your whole life (which basically means you're never happy with what you have), and most people are lucky not to have it.

Yes, we're ALL better off sticking our head in the sand and never trying to achieve greatness, settling for mediocrity and not knowing any better. Those people are the happiest right? Especially when they get to 40 and they wake up with a mortgage and 3 kids to wife they no longer love. Yes, these people are lucky.

(11-07-2012 05:13 PM)oldnemesis Wrote:  

In fact your friend did incredibly well. Almost three years for the first relationship is impressive. A lot of marriages here in US don't make it past a two year mark.

To use an analogy.

I compare a first girl-friend to a first job. You don't know ANY better. You think 'oh geez ALL jobs must be like this'. My first job was at KFC - piece of shit job that I put up with for 2 years. After I quit, my next job involved serving meat to 3 customers an hour and getting PAID for it. I was literally eating feta-filled olives out the back and getting paid almost double the money. I thought 'fuck, how on earth did I put up with my KFC job for so long, without knowing what ELSE was out there'?

First girlfriend's are a massive hurdle, and only once you get over that hurdle will you develop perspective.

[Samseau]

(11-07-2012 05:13 PM)oldnemesis Wrote:  

(11-07-2012 10:01 AM)Samseau Wrote:  

Since it was his first girlfriend, how would he have known any better? It's not like he was settling with a "good enough" girl. He was ignorantly choosing one woman because he didn't know any better.

A "girlfriend" is typically more about a "friend" than a "girl", people tend to choose someone because they're comfortable with them, not because they're an opposite sex. And most people do fairly well with friends, being done so since the daycare times, and they simply don't care if there is someone even better. You have to have a specific personality to chase for the better your whole life (which basically means you're never happy with what you have), and most people are lucky not to have it.

Although you are right to a certain extent, in this day and age not going for the best woman possible is simply a life destroying option.

It's not a matter of if, but when, you get fucked over by a malicious girlfriend. I'm not exaggerating with woman-hate here. His old girlfriend was a legitimate user of men. She had major daddy-issues, would take offense to anything, and was a major attention whore.

Quote:

In fact your friend did incredibly well. Almost three years for the first relationship is impressive. A lot of marriages here in US don't make it past a two year mark.

If you knew what kind of shit he had to suffer just to make even that far, I doubt you'd call it an accomplishment.

He lost:

- Money
- Insane amounts of time
- Business opportunities (he wanted to go to law school; we studied for the LSAT together; he had a bitch girlfriend, I did not, and I beat his score by 6 points.)

And it was just a girlfriend! Imagine had he married that monster.

Quote:

Quote:

No, he's already introduced me to his newest GF. I told him I don't think much of her, and he makes the effort to visit me on Sunday afternoons without her. I've been hanging with him every week for nearly 4 months straight, during which he still sees his GF.

So apparently he did not get the idea that "there exists something better than his monogamous life with a bitchy woman", and he did not take your advice seriously. Which was the point.

Well, although I don't like his new GF very much, she's still a big upgrade in personality compared to the last one.

I've accepted that he as a fundamentally different taste in women than I do, and he actually likes and prefers women with attitude. I hate them. It's not a big deal regarding our friendship.

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But him getting dumped was a slap of cold hard reality. He learned what a mistake it was to put his trust into a woman over his friends. He realized I was right, and that's why he returned and apologized to me.

So he is now spending as much time with you as before (and more than with his newest GF)?
Or just the bare minimum to keep your relationship alive, so he wouldn't have to apologize again?

Technically he's spending less than we did back in our college days, but what the fuck man, what do you expect? We have jobs and lives, it's not like we can just dick around all day like we did in college.

Additionally, the biggest impediment to us hanging out more often is that he lives 1.5 hours away from me. His girl lives nearby me, so it's actually easy for him to visit his girl on Saturdays and me on Sundays. He's gonna move into the same city as I do soon, and when that happens I'm sure we'll hang all the time.




You can grill me all you want Oldnemesis, but I'm definitely speaking from experience when it comes to having LTR male friends. In fact I have quite a few of them. I'm a man's man.

I can state with authority that it's good to stand up to your buddies when they do stupid shit, if you actually care about them. It will improve the relationship in the long run.

[deepcov3r]

(11-05-2012 03:45 PM)Yams Wrote:  

(11-03-2012 10:10 PM)iknowexactly Wrote:  

Minter’s argument that most of the time marriage shortens a man’s life is simply wrong. Married men live longer and are healthier.

http://www.health.harvard.edu/press_rele...th-for-men

You cannot evaluate the prospect of marriage without the prospect of divorce in the 21st century. Women initiate most of the divorces and men have little leverage once they wife up a female. So the effects of divorce should also be evaluated:

http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/heal...52478544/1

The bottom line is that Divorce wipes out the positive health effects that a marriage may have had. A better study would be to compare the life expectancy of a man who has been divorced and never remarried to a man who has never married at all.

Good point about divorce being damaging. If the divorce rate is 50%, and you are back to square zero if married then divorced, ( gained / lost equally with marriage and subsequent divorce) then the 50% that don't get divorced will on average be better off.

The important point is that biologicaly the majority of men are not at all like some of the big cats that live and hunt on their own, and only meet to fuck. We're primates, and where i have to work is not a suitable social life for me.

Also, if you want to have kids I think the evidence is pretty clear- two parent, stable loving household is best.

[Insignia]

Sooner of later, their girlfriends will fuck someone else and they will learn their lesson, do not be a Beta.

[oldnemesis]

(11-07-2012 06:02 PM)Prophylaxis Wrote:  

Yes, we're ALL better off sticking our head in the sand and never trying to achieve greatness, settling for mediocrity and not knowing any better. Those people are the happiest right?

Right, they are. Remember the 80/20 principle.
All this competition is actually inside your head.

Quote:

Especially when they get to 40 and they wake up with a mortgage and 3 kids to wife they no longer love. Yes, these people are lucky.

Striking for the best doesn't prevent this kind of scenario at all.
Yeah, if an average Joe would marry a perfect 10, he would probably love her forever and wouldn't end up in this kind of situation.
But it still wouldn't work since she'd probably dump him in a month.

(11-07-2012 05:13 PM)oldnemesis Wrote:  

I compare a first girl-friend to a first job. You don't know ANY better. You think 'oh geez ALL jobs must be like this'.

No, you do not. Unless you grew up in some remote village, never talked to the people, never seen a movie or read a book.
Otherwise you do know there are all kinds of jobs. It is just most jobs look much better from the outside that they really are.

[oldnemesis]

(11-07-2012 08:30 PM)Samseau Wrote:  

Although you are right to a certain extent, in this day and age not going for the best woman possible is simply a life destroying option.

The obvious problem with going for the best is that she'll have then significantly more value than you do. Which means a struggling battle for you. Same as we talked before, you'll have to game her 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Unless you get a HUGE validation from the fact you have her, you're not going to even be able to put the required amount of effort.

Therefore "going for the best" is not a viable option for the vast majority of the population.

Quote:

It's not a matter of if, but when, you get fucked over by a malicious girlfriend. I'm not exaggerating with woman-hate here. His old girlfriend was a legitimate user of men. She had major daddy-issues, would take offense to anything, and was a major attention whore.

This is a different thing we're talking now. He could have got an old fat chick, who'd kissed his feet, cook him dinners and maybe even paid his bills. Would he be better in this scenario?

Quote:

If you knew what kind of shit he had to suffer just to make even that far, I doubt you'd call it an accomplishment.

First you need to be very careful when talking about someone "suffering". Don't forget that what is suffering for you is a source of enjoyment for some people. Remember those guys who go to dominatrix chicks to get spit on and beaten? Different strokes for different folks.

Second, three years of suffering doesn't sound realistic to me unless your friend is a closed masochist (but in this case he wasn't really suffering).

Quote:

He lost:
- Money
- Insane amounts of time
- Business opportunities (he wanted to go to law school; we studied for the LSAT together; he had a bitch girlfriend, I did not, and I beat his score by 6 points.)
And it was just a girlfriend! Imagine had he married that monster.

Well, some people could say the same about you and me. You know, spending weekends in bars and loud clubs is definitely not the best investment of money and time. LSAT score is not relevant here, maybe if he didn't have a bitch girlfriend you'd beat his score by 10 points, you never know.

Quote:

I can state with authority that it's good to stand up to your buddies when they do stupid shit, if you actually care about them. It will improve the relationship in the long run.

I'm not arguing that. I'm just saying that your grilling has close to zero effect on their behavior.

[Samseau]

(11-08-2012 03:09 AM)oldnemesis Wrote:  

(11-07-2012 08:30 PM)Samseau Wrote:  

Although you are right to a certain extent, in this day and age not going for the best woman possible is simply a life destroying option.

The obvious problem with going for the best is that she'll have then significantly more value than you do. Which means a struggling battle for you. Same as we talked before, you'll have to game her 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Unless you get a HUGE validation from the fact you have her, you're not going to even be able to put the required amount of effort.

Therefore "going for the best" is not a viable option for the vast majority of the population.

You misunderstand. I don't mean the best woman possible in relation to other women, but the best woman possible for an individual man to have.

So it's not about having the hottest woman, but instead having the best woman you can have given your life situation.

In my friends case, he had a pretty attractive woman but she was a cunt. It was not worth it. She treated everyone like shit.

Quote:

Quote:

It's not a matter of if, but when, you get fucked over by a malicious girlfriend. I'm not exaggerating with woman-hate here. His old girlfriend was a legitimate user of men. She had major daddy-issues, would take offense to anything, and was a major attention whore.

This is a different thing we're talking now. He could have got an old fat chick, who'd kissed his feet, cook him dinners and maybe even paid his bills. Would he be better in this scenario?

Well, old and fat is too undesirable. But had he even a plane jane he'd be better off.

Which, incidentally, his current girl is much further down on the looks scale but also much less maintenance.

Quote:

Quote:

If you knew what kind of shit he had to suffer just to make even that far, I doubt you'd call it an accomplishment.

First you need to be very careful when talking about someone "suffering". Don't forget that what is suffering for you is a source of enjoyment for some people. Remember those guys who go to dominatrix chicks to get spit on and beaten? Different strokes for different folks.

True, but there has to be some kind of universal standard we're talking about here. Otherwise, it would be impossible to claim that some child starving to death in Africa is suffering.

And in this case my friend suffered.

Quote:

Second, three years of suffering doesn't sound realistic to me unless your friend is a closed masochist (but in this case he wasn't really suffering).

You're right. The suffering didn't get really bad till the last year or so.

Quote:

Quote:

He lost:
- Money
- Insane amounts of time
- Business opportunities (he wanted to go to law school; we studied for the LSAT together; he had a bitch girlfriend, I did not, and I beat his score by 6 points.)
And it was just a girlfriend! Imagine had he married that monster.

Well, some people could say the same about you and me. You know, spending weekends in bars and loud clubs is definitely not the best investment of money and time. LSAT score is not relevant here, maybe if he didn't have a bitch girlfriend you'd beat his score by 10 points, you never know.

I doubt it, since his girl took away time from him when he should have been studying.

And spending weekends in bars and clubs may actually be the best investment for some men depending on their circumstances.

Quote:

Quote:

I can state with authority that it's good to stand up to your buddies when they do stupid shit, if you actually care about them. It will improve the relationship in the long run.

I'm not arguing that. I'm just saying that your grilling has close to zero effect on their behavior.

Then why did he admit to me his mistakes, and admit what he did was wrong, and admit that he should have looked for the things in women I told him to?

It's totally possible to change people's behavior. The older someone becomes the harder it is, but my friend was only 21-24 when this all happened, which is still baby years in the grand scheme of things.

[oldnemesis]

(11-08-2012 12:44 PM)Samseau Wrote:  

You misunderstand. I don't mean the best woman possible in relation to other women, but the best woman possible for an individual man to have.
So it's not about having the hottest woman, but instead having the best woman you can have given your life situation.

This is even more difficult as basically you'd have to sample every one of them to find the best. Considering that you have to live with someone for at least two years to see if two of you are really fit, if you date from 10 and live 100 years you can only sample 45 chicks. Even if you limit your selection pool dramatically, there would be still much more than 45 to select from, so the goal you stated is simply not possible.

Not even saying that your life goals change in time, and what is the best woman for you today may be mediocre tomorrow - this is the lead reason why so many young marriages fail.

Quote:

In my friends case, he had a pretty attractive woman but she was a cunt. It was not worth it. She treated everyone like shit.

A lot of people would be ok with that, especially here in the US - i.e. they're willing to trade personality to get better looks/younger age/larger boobs/whatever. You never know.

Quote:

True, but there has to be some kind of universal standard we're talking about here. Otherwise, it would be impossible to claim that some child starving to death in Africa is suffering.

It is, but it seem to be really flexible. Outside the basic physical body needs I don't even know anymore what some guys wouldn't trade to have a hotter or younger girl.

Quote:

Then why did he admit to me his mistakes, and admit what he did was wrong, and admit that he should have looked for the things in women I told him to?

Because that was the only way to salvage your relationship. Why not admit you were wrong even if you don't think you were?

[nmmoooreland20]

(11-08-2012 09:50 PM)oldnemesis Wrote:  

(11-08-2012 12:44 PM)Samseau Wrote:  

You misunderstand. I don't mean the best woman possible in relation to other women, but the best woman possible for an individual man to have.
So it's not about having the hottest woman, but instead having the best woman you can have given your life situation.

This is even more difficult as basically you'd have to sample every one of them to find the best. Considering that you have to live with someone for at least two years to sBrian Banksee if two of you are really fit, if you date from 10 and live 100 years you can only sample 45 chicks. Even if you limit your selection pool dramatically, there would be still much more than 45 to select from, so the goal you stated is simply not possible.

Not even saying that your life goals change in time, and what is the best woman for you today may be mediocre tomorrow - this is the lead reason why so many young marriages fail.

Quote:

In my friends case, he had a pretty attractive woman but she was a cunt. It was not worth it. She treated everyone like shit.

A lot of people would be ok with that, especially here in the US - i.e. they're willing to trade personality to get better looks/younger age/larger boobs/whatever. You never know.

Quote:

True, but there has to be some kind of universal standard we're talking about here. Otherwise, it would be impossible to claim that some child starving to death in Africa is suffering.

It is, but it seem to be really flexible. Outside the basic physical body needs I don't even know anymore what some guys wouldn't trade to have a hotter or younger girl.

Quote:

Then why did he admit to me his mistakes, and admit what he did was wrong, and admit that he should have looked for the things in women I told him to?

Because that was the only way to salvage your relationship. Why not admit you were wrong even if you don't think you were?

I'm sure you could eliminate a lot of girls, if not with 100% accuracy, in minutes, not years.

[Samseau]

Quote:

This is even more difficult as basically you'd have to sample every one of them to find the best. Considering that you have to live with someone for at least two years to see if two of you are really fit, if you date from 10 and live 100 years you can only sample 45 chicks. Even if you limit your selection pool dramatically, there would be still much more than 45 to select from, so the goal you stated is simply not possible.

That's not true, I can spend one hour with a girl and know immediately if she's not the right girl for me.

Finding the right girl isn't a positive process, it's a negative one where you sift out the trash to find a gem.

Also, I'm not saying guys have to be picky. They just need to avoid girls with obvious malfunctions (which is basically 90% of women due to our fucked up culture, but I digress). If a guy can find a decent chick in that 10% zone, I would always advocate keeping her.

Finally, there is of course a risk you might not find anyone at all. Life's a bitch and then you die.

Quote:

A lot of people would be ok with that, especially here in the US - i.e. they're willing to trade personality to get better looks/younger age/larger boobs/whatever. You never know.

Some guys are gluttons for punishment. But that doesn't mean it has to be my good friend.

Quote:

Because that was the only way to salvage your relationship. Why not admit you were wrong even if you don't think you were?

You make a good point, but why didn't he apologize before he got dumped? It's not like he didn't have other friends he could have rebounded with. It's not like his old ex would have ever known (or cared) about him hanging out with me.

[tomtud]

If your friend is consistently flaking on you and can't show up to a party that both of them can make it, don't go to his parties. Quid pro quo. Get a new crew, go out solo and learn from his mistakes.

[oldnemesis]

(11-08-2012 10:16 PM)nmmoooreland20 Wrote:  

I'm sure you could eliminate a lot of girls, if not with 100% accuracy, in minutes, not years.

Of course. However it still leaves much more than 45 to choose from.

[oldnemesis]

(11-08-2012 10:23 PM)Samseau Wrote:  

That's not true, I can spend one hour with a girl and know immediately if she's not the right girl for me.
Finding the right girl isn't a positive process, it's a negative one where you sift out the trash to find a gem.

So you think in an hour you can decide if this is a girl you'd be comfortable spending your next five-ten years (or even your whole life) with? To me this is wishful thinking at best. How long have your longest relationship last?

Quote:

Also, I'm not saying guys have to be picky. They just need to avoid girls with obvious malfunctions (which is basically 90% of women due to our fucked up culture, but I digress). If a guy can find a decent chick in that 10% zone, I would always advocate keeping her.

I don't get it.

Just a post before you said not going to /the best woman possible for an individual man/ is a life destroying option.

Now you seem to be advocating keeping any decent chick, which is very different from the above.

Quote:

You make a good point, but why didn't he apologize before he got dumped?

Because he didn't need to rebound before - you said he contacted you only after she dumped him. Apologizing to you in this case and asserting you were right would stroke your ego and make you feel more valuable, which would greatly increase the chance your relationship would rebound. It's a classic push-pull if you look on it this way.

[Samseau]

Quote:

Because he didn't need to rebound before - you said he contacted you only after she dumped him. Apologizing to you in this case and asserting you were right would stroke your ego and make you feel more valuable, which would greatly increase the chance your relationship would rebound. It's a classic push-pull if you look on it this way.

He had plenty of other friends he could have rebounded with - but I was the only friend who stood up to him and his bitch friend. The fact that he came back to me with apologies, and I was the only one who told him his girl sucked and actually told his girl to fuck off (on two separate occasions), is very revealing, don't you think?

Quote:

So you think in an hour you can decide if this is a girl you'd be comfortable spending your next five-ten years (or even your whole life) with? To me this is wishful thinking at best. How long have your longest relationship last?

No, no, it's a negative process. I stay with a girl until she reveals herself to be a bad LTR prospect. With American woman, it doesn't take more than a few weeks. With foreign women, you'll probably end up with year long relationships, easily. The Greek Girl I was dating was heading in that direction before her visa expired after 4 months.

Quote:

Just a post before you said not going to /the best woman possible for an individual man/ is a life destroying option.

Now you seem to be advocating keeping any decent chick, which is very different from the above.

You're getting confused with semantics. A decent chick is the best possible option. But even decent women are extremely rare in the USA.

[oldnemesis]

(11-10-2012 08:53 AM)Samseau Wrote:  

He had plenty of other friends he could have rebounded with - but I was the only friend who stood up to him and his bitch friend. The fact that he came back to me with apologies, and I was the only one who told him his girl sucked and actually told his girl to fuck off (on two separate occasions), is very revealing, don't you think?

Not at all to me. But I don't think you'd change your opinion anyway, and I'm not going to change mine, so there is no need to continue this discussion.

Quote:

No, no, it's a negative process. I stay with a girl until she reveals herself to be a bad LTR prospect. With American woman, it doesn't take more than a few weeks. With foreign women, you'll probably end up with year long relationships, easily. The Greek Girl I was dating was heading in that direction before her visa expired after 4 months.

Most marriages around the world break around 2yr time mark (5yr is the second major breaking point), so a few months is definitely not enough for the majority of the population. Maybe you're unique and have extremely high sensitivity to those things, but then your advice doesn't apply to the general population because according to statistics the majority is definitely not like that.

Quote:

You're getting confused with semantics. A decent chick is the best possible option. But even decent women are extremely rare in the USA.

Well, you created this confusion by stating that one should go for the best woman possible. So should a man aim to get the best chick for him (i.e. which has age, race, looks, wealth and personality he wants), or he should just hold on the first decent (i.e. not absolute crap) chick he met?
Note that if his definition of "best" includes "young", he basically would have to change a chick at least once in five years.

[Samseau]

A woman who..

...is flexible
...is giving
...has integrity
...passes the boner test


Is the best woman possible for any man.

[oldnemesis]

Sounds like pretty low standards to me which plenty of chicks would meet.
Could you please explain "flexible" and "integrity"?

[Samseau]

(11-10-2012 09:15 PM)oldnemesis Wrote:  

Sounds like pretty low standards to me which plenty of chicks would meet.
Could you please explain "flexible" and "integrity"?

You kidding me? Probably less than 10% of the girls I meet have these characteristics.

Flexible - helpful, doesn't argue, isn't judgmental of your behavior, lets you have your way more often than not

Integrity - doesn't lie, loyal, dependable, keeps promises

[Samseau]

The integrity component alone rules out close to 70% of American women

[kazz]

(11-03-2012 10:10 PM)iknowexactly Wrote:  

repost from returnofkings because I didn't sign it.
Stars don't have more to lose after marriage– they were wealthy; even 1/2 of the money left after their ex-wives divorce-raped them was enough to live like a king.

There is something to be said for marriage. I want to clarify that I would NOT get married in a Feminist state like America unless I was so wealthy I could lose half–twice– and still be wealthy. Minter is right that 1/2 chance of failure is too high when you are going to lose 1/2 of everything if you divorce.

I’m over 50 and never married, even though quite nice women asked me. I’m not hideous, or ugly. I wanted a hotter chick; was the plain truth.

But I suffered many, many times from deep loneliness– I think I forgot what it was like to feel wanted, cared about, they way I did when growing up in my calm, loving, two-parent household.

My father , who was alpha as fuck, on the beach at the invasion of Iwo Jima and manning a machine gun on the ship, said about marriage “It’s wonderful if you find the right woman.” My Mom was his second wife, the first was a bitch.

Of course, the brittle, angry, tough guy American male can’t admit these feelings of needing companionship. He may be in denial of it. He has his fishing rod, his PS3, he’s happy, and fuck you if you don’t believe he’s HAPPY DAMN IT. It sounds as convincing as women who say they’re happy with their cats.

I don’t buy it at all that this guy is happy now. I think he’s still stewing. Does he seriously sound happy to you, with his rabid cursing? Do you think his personality might have contributed to the unhappiness of his marriage? Do you believe he’s detached and content, and just emphatically wanring you?

I believe his insight is limited, but he telling you what he thinks honestly. But he also sounds like he’s still depressed and/or paranoid.

I do NOT plan on getting married in America. But my parents were really pretty happy.

For a lot of people, all those hundreds of evenings alone, cooking for yourself, or sitting in a restaurant alone, where is the simple everyday joy of sharing? Telling someone “The lady in the DMV barked at me and looked like a frog” and then laughing together. Do you really want people to believe you’re some caricature of a Marine, always alone, tough as nails and ready for battle?

Thousands, and thousands of hours, sitting alone. Your friends will be gone. Who will you spend time with ? Your “buds”. You’re still in your 20′s if you believe that “your buds” are going to be around much. True, you may be one of the people who can enjoy spending a lot of time alone. Then you can take a different path and be happy.

Minter’s argument that most of the time marriage shortens a man’s life is simply wrong. Married men live longer and are healthier.

http://www.health.harvard.edu/press_rele...th-for-men

It’s simply against nature for most people to be alone all the time. Just like it’s unnatural for a woman to tell a man what to do. No matter how smart you think you are, unless you have one of those naturally solitary personalities, or are rather paranoid and prefer to stay away from potential victimizers, you need to have people around. It’s biology and destiny. It doesn’t matter if you like it, just like it doesn’t matter if you like hypergamy. It’s the law.

I would recommend going somewhere where there isn’t an aberration like American feminism to persecute you for following your natural impulses however.

Who said you have to be alone?? I know a few men over 50, even one over 70 (granted he lives in Thailand) That are not married, they are far from alone, they have women around when they want, usually younger and hotter ones than their wife would be. They also have alone time, you say thousands of hours alone, I say how about thousands of hours with some stupid bitch, you tell me which is worse??

If I happen to find the perfect girl for me I would be happy to have a LTR, I would still not get married though. In the mean time I just bang chicks, sometimes might go out with one for a year here and there.... But never lonely, never will be, there will always be available single women at any age, actually the older you get the more the ratio of single women to men swings in your favor.

[KorbenDallas]

I want to back up Samseau.
I am nerdy, I love to read, I love reading about politics, I love sports, and although I have a lot of good friendships, a lot of people would say I am a little different As I grow older, I'm 22 now, my friendships have dwindled, people move away, different interests, etc..but most I stay connected with on FB.

Anyway, I was not that great with girls in high school, I had a lot of betaness (weakness, nervousness, etc..) this doomed me to only sporadic successes. Since the US is cutthroat when it comes to girls and socially harsh on men who aren't Alpha or whatever, should I have just resigned myself to a chubby American 5 because we got along?

Well that's not what I did. I chased for better. I focused my efforts on my poker, I was able to live in the Czech Republic for a year, and had a girlfriend who would be dating Eli Manning if she lived here she was so fine. The picture of my individual preference for what a woman should look like. I discovered what It was like to lead in a relationship, to have a traditional relationship, to date a girl way hotter than I could land in the states who also was very feminine, so, my abilities to handle women, be around them, flirt with them, these things all increased substantially for me.

Oldnemesis says: But it still wouldn't work since she'd probably dump him in a month.

My girlfriend was worried about ME dumping HER. I would much rather be Samseau's friend than your friend. If I got stuck with an American bitch he would be like, "Dude, look at these pics of these Columbian chicks I just met. Their fine as hell. Don't you want to come party with me and these Columbian girls instead of (whoever)."

Oldnemesis would be like, "Well, he's not breaking up with her, he must be happy."

Friendship is about looking out for each other, and that includes being able to see a situation for what it is with clear eyes. This is especially needed in the US when so many things are stacked against us regarding our relationships. My friends and I got each other backs and that includes the understanding bitches ain't shit. I don't really believe that about all girls, but in the US it's pretty much the right mentality to have and Samseau is right to try and help his friend see his situation more clearly.