[Excalibur]

Recently I met this girl who is almost 20 years younger than me.

I have the blessing or the curse of looking about 10 years younger than my actual age, so this girl thought I maybe boyfriend material.

She is gorgeous, smart, popular. She is basically closely tied to her barely out of college social group. And in my eyes, she's one of the coolest, best looking girl I've dated in a long time.

Anyways, on the second date, she popped the question ~ "How old are you?"

Generally I try to tell the truth unless I am traveling and just want to bang and never see the girl again. Especially in this case where I thought she is girlfriend material. Anyways, once she heard my answer, she kind of mumbled, "well, that's definitely out of the range." But the date ended well never the less. However, when I texted her to meet up again, she told me the age difference is too great, it won't work out.




So how do you older guys manage/prevent this type of situation???

My thoughts are...

1 - If the girl is >15 years younger than me, then just lie. Make her guess, and just add another year to it. My justification is that with more than 15 year age difference, it's very unlikely, unrealistic that it will lead to a compatible long term relationship. Keep in mind, I am talking about US, not Asia/Eastern Europe/South America. So just lie, we both have fun, part our ways in a few months.

2 - If the girl is >15 years younger, still tell the truth. Actually, ask her her age first, then act shocked that she's so young, and maybe things won't work out. However, tell her that I've dated girls who are young, it always turned out great, we have so much fun and learned so much from our differences, but I don't want her to have any expectation that this is leading to a boyfriend/girlfriend situation. Obviously it's not too realistic. She's young, not in a hurry to get married, neither am I, but there's so much fun things we can do together, live in the moment, and we'll see where it goes.

Gentleman, what are your thoughts?

[Screwston]

This has been covered at least 5 times. Just ask her how old she thinka you are and pick a number around that. Either that or choose a fake age and stivk with it for all the girls you meet.

[iknowexactly]

(10-24-2012 08:30 PM)houston Wrote:  

This has been covered at least 5 times. Just ask her how old she thinka you are and pick a number around that. Either that or choose a fake age and stivk with it for all the girls you meet.

Also, some have recommended that you question her fitness "You're younger than most girls I've gone out with" ..doubtful pause... "but you seem different."

[Bad Hussar]

I get this a lot since I'm in the same boat (apparently look 10+ years younger than I am). I often avoid or delay answering the question, but never outright lie about my age. Not out of some misguided high moral standards. It's just that I find lieing harms my inner game.

To be honest I geniunely see no problem with a man dating a women 20 years younger than himself (but obviously 18+). For that matter I have no problem with cougars doing what they do either. We all have needs. So why lie about it? Because some younger girls will have a problem wth a big age difference? I don't know. If we had to take every single problem a girl has with us personally we'd be paralysed, unable to take any action at all. Essentially: If it wasn't age it would be some other shit.

Hell, I'm counting on the fact that people who look younger than they are live proportionally longer anyway. So you can always claim that she should consider the age people think you are, rather than the age you are.

[ZonZon]

I am old as shit and do better with women from every country than ever before. I used to be hung up about 15 - 25 year age gaps. Now, I almost use it to my advantage. EVERYTHING is presentation. However, it is just " not right " for me to be with women under the age of 25 in the USA - its a mentality thing on their part.

So, my answer is FAST PITCH right down the middle. If they don't like it NEXT.

[chochemonger1]

(10-25-2012 12:38 PM)ZonZon Wrote:  

I am old as shit and do better with women from every country than ever before. I used to be hung up about 15 - 25 year age gaps. Now, I almost use it to my advantage. EVERYTHING is presentation. However, it is just " not right " for me to be with women under the age of 25 in the USA - its a mentality thing on their part.

So, my answer is FAST PITCH right down the middle. If they don't like it NEXT.

To me a country is a pussy paradise when at least 40 percent of the girls 17 to 22 express interest in an older man over 30. Then you are right......any flaker, bitch, stupid young girl is thrown away for the next one.

[Nomad77]

This is a much bigger issue in America than in other countries but Houston have your answer: pick your poison.

[deepcov3r]

(10-25-2012 12:38 PM)ZonZon Wrote:  

I am old as shit and do better with women from every country than ever before. I used to be hung up about 15 - 25 year age gaps. Now, I almost use it to my advantage. EVERYTHING is presentation. However, it is just " not right " for me to be with women under the age of 25 in the USA - its a mentality thing on their part.

So, my answer is FAST PITCH right down the middle. If they don't like it NEXT.

What does a "fast pitch" look and sound like? I need all the help I can get because I love 20 year olds and have to plow through a lot of them to get ones that will fuck.

[Duke Castile]

Girls lie on a fundamental level; makeup, implants, extensions, etc. Get comfortable with lying. You may be chronologically older but if you physically are younger then fuck it. Say you're 29 or whatever. By the time she finds out she won't care (if she finds out). Do you really want to miss out on hot ass because of a stupid number?

[Samseau]

Quote:

Generally I try to tell the truth

Big mistake

[bacon]

definately lie, by the time she finds out your real age you already got what you wanted. if she cant handle your real age just move on; but at least you would have already got in her pants.

[Sherman]

My ex wife was 20 years younger than me. I don't hide my age and I don't lie. When you present yourself the way you are and are comfortable with it, women tend to follow along.

[pitt]

Why would you say your real age when you know you look younger and she is 20 years younger than you?

Also, stop thinking that she is a girlfriend material, thats a beta way to see things.No girl is girlfriend material unless you have fucked her. Lie about your age at all times even if you just want to fuck her and not see her again.

[NoBalls]

(10-24-2012 08:24 PM)Excalibur Wrote:  

Anyways, on the second date ...

This is your problem. If you had sex with her on the first date she would not have found out until after you had sex and then it would not have been an issue any longer.

Girls in their very early 20s are more likely to sleep with a guy faster. You need to have sex with her before the situation turns into a dating situation. If she desired your cock, she would not even ask for your age. But once she considered you a potential boyfriend - game over.

[ZonZon]

Quote:

Girls in their very early 20s are more likely to sleep with a guy faster. You need to have sex with her before the situation turns into a dating situation. If she desired your cock, she would not even ask for your age. But once she considered you a potential boyfriend - game over.

RESPECTFULLY disagree.

Sure, I have had a boatload of pick-ups and one night stands. Almost always, 80% + in these situations, the girls is a little drunk, I am a little (lot drunk), I am having to close and re-close like a fucking used car salesman ... or the girl is as much of a slut as all the men here hahaha

Nowadays, I can do with out garden variety sex. Keep the pussy baby, save it until you want to learn a few special tricks. When you are working with large age gaps there are a different set of attraction points at work. I think the biggest thing is to simply understand that instead of 100% of the 7, 8, 9, and 10 ... a smaller set of that group are going to be open to you (it depends GREATLY what culture and country). But, I have found that I am MORE attractive to the right women as an older guy (I know, I know, attraction is NOT a choice ... well, IT IS over the course of 72 hours.)

FAST PITCH is a term that accepts the above as truth and makes no apologies

[NoBalls]

(10-26-2012 10:33 AM)ZonZon Wrote:  

RESPECTFULLY disagree.

Sure, I have had a boatload of pick-ups and one night stands.

You probably have more one night stands and experience than I do.

I have had some really fast lays with women 25 or under who lived in NYC like I do. I've been having a lot more trouble getting women closer to my age in bed. They want to go on dates and they talk about wanting a serious relationship and shit like that. They interrogate me about who else I'm dating and about my past relationships. Sometimes with women my age it feels like a fucking police interrogation. I usually just get annoyed and give up before we even have sex.

Younger women never pull this shit. If they get horny they will fuck. Again, you probably have more experience than I do. But this is what I've experienced the past few years in NYC.

I still say, if you are older and want younger women, the best bet is to go for sex as quickly as possible. If you get into the dating frame - game over.

[Excalibur]

Appreciate the answers..

Yea, I think girls like to size me up for boyfriend material. I think I need to be sexually aggressive from the get go, not even talking about the first date, like the moment I meet her. I've gotten a lot of flake out on first date when I turn on the sexual vibe, except the girl wasn't expecting that from out initial meet.

So the conclusion is.. First Impression - don't come across as a boyfriend material. Come across sexual from the get go. I guess other option is to be mysterious like the 50 shades of Grey guy. Basically as early as possible, lay it out that I don't do the boyfriend thing.

My goal is to be as true to myself and to others. I thought about this, and I realize the truth is that I want f-ck a young girl, but to think that she can be my girlfriend before I f-ck her is actually "immature" on my part. Just because she comes across mature doesn't mean she is. She's just good at faking it. A girl 20 years younger cannot be that mature and sophisticated. After we had sex, if it turns into a nice romantic, compatible relationship, then sure, get married or do whatever...

[Zep]

I lie, and here's why.

I'm generally a bit too ethical and proper, but on this issue, fuck it. IF a chick has been societally programmed to screen me out based on a number even though we enjoy each others company, I conclude that she has been wronged and my lie is necessary to correct the wrong. What happens from there is we have a good time, and then if a heart to heart comes up, I'll tell her that if I told her my real age she would have screened me out of all the good times we've been having, and that, is wrong, and it stems from bullshit societal programming. She knows it's true. "I"m real age"..."ok, too old, see you"...would equal no good feelings and good times. "I'm 'lie' age"..."really, let's go out".....have good feelings and good times. She can make a decision from there.

[Wayout]

Looking younger is an amazing thing. I look 20 years younger than I really am. I usually lie about my age because I have to. No one will believe me I am that old anyway. It just so happened I ended up in two long term relationships where eventually I had to disclose my real age. Both girls I think felt they can't trust me anymore. Things didn't work out eventually possibly because of my huge lie. I shaved off 16 years and in really I am their father's age- whatever.
Nowadays I don't lie and haven't had a bad experience yet. I am also not playing the field that much either. So maybe that's the reason.
To sum it up - don't lie, some girls actually get turned on by an older man! You want those!

[ZonZon]

I had a visit with Arthur "The Grandfather" - the "original pick up artist" in August. We talked about women - he is 52 now. His first book was published in 1992. He had just broke up with a playboy model after a LTR in August ... we talked about the evolution of "game" and its application.

There is an inner magnetism in his view, a confidence, a knowingness, a certitude of being. Not any one women, or her golden little pussy is worth breaking this alignment. A man must be whole, capable, free, and in the zone - something very far beyond a line, routine, or pattern of behaviors. Today's PUA material help people overcome modern social shields and defense mechanisms - that's a good thing. But, don't drink the koolaid! Or, you will be lost.

Women are not like Easter eggs in an Easter Egg contest. Some are physically hot - most are NOT! Most are not worthy of the time and investment a good and worthy relationship necessitates. From what I have read on this board so far (and I am in great debt to some of the guys talking about EE, Russia, and Ukraine!!!!) many here need to simply get enough pussy to become sober again. (after you get enough ... you realize it is not a gift, rare, or out of the ordinary). Then, take the pursuit of pussy off the pedestal, and place yourself on it. Be the best man you can be - in health, business, life, everything ... and then find the best woman (or women if you are a harem guy) that are worthy of you.

When you become these BIGGER things ... women seek you out. But, only because of the accomplishment you have become. No Brand New Shinny Objects. But, of course, it is tough to fit this philosophy into 24 hour hook-ups, and one night stands.

IMHO

[ManAbout]

(10-26-2012 08:50 PM)Zep Wrote:  

I conclude that she has been wronged and my lie is necessary to correct the wrong.

What? Sorry, it's the opposite. It's not SHE who has been wronged, it's US, the guys who have been wronged. Men prefer younger women, end of story. It is only recently that this has become unacceptable. She will end up going out with a younger guy and not know the difference. It's the guys who have to end up banging washed up old bags as a result.

[iknowexactly]

(10-26-2012 09:03 PM)Wayout Wrote:  

Looking younger is an amazing thing. I look 20 years younger than I really am. I usually lie about my age because I have to. .....It just so happened I ended up in two long term relationships where eventually I had to disclose my real age. Both girls I think felt they can't trust me anymore. Things didn't work out

Thanks for your input and story, but it seems not quite internally consistent-- you lied, and got two long term relationships which ended-- but you see that as a failure?

In my TotalMachiavellian™ viewpoint, the goal of mating is to get the girl pregnant. Her feelings and thoughts are irrelevant-- what woman hasn't cursed her husband for getting her pregnant?--, except to the degree they might, for instance, get you a rape charge. Sounds like you might have been able to get her/them pregnant, after that, her submissiveness controls your level of participation (of course Child Support will grab everything you make over minimum wage up to maybe 70k. If you make more than that you can afford a Honda. )

[germanico]

How to handle it?

Dont.

Make it a non-issue. Dont bring it up. Make sure that it doesnt bothers you. Dont even mention it. It never existed.

[Excalibur]

(10-26-2012 09:03 PM)Wayout Wrote:  

Looking younger is an amazing thing. I look 20 years younger than I really am. I usually lie about my age because I have to. No one will believe me I am that old anyway. It just so happened I ended up in two long term relationships where eventually I had to disclose my real age. Both girls I think felt they can't trust me anymore. Things didn't work out eventually possibly because of my huge lie. I shaved off 16 years and in really I am their father's age- whatever.
Nowadays I don't lie and haven't had a bad experience yet. I am also not playing the field that much either. So maybe that's the reason.
To sum it up - don't lie, some girls actually get turned on by an older man! You want those!

I am sure there are guys out there who have handled much younger American girls without having to lie about their age. My experience is like above. I lied about my age to a 20 y/o. We had sex. At some point I told her my true age. She flipped out. Of course she is is still very attached to me, but the relationship becomes melodramatic.


Hopefully I can hear more from guys who have done this without lying.

For now, my thoughts are

- present yourself as sexual, intriguing, mysterious, dangerous, fun from the get go. Anything but a boyfriend material.

- ask the girl her age first. Screen her OUT instead of letting her screen you out. I remember this 19 y/o text me "I am 19 y/o, is that ok?". Young girls are just as self conscious about their age as older guys.

After you find out her age say, "OMG, you are too young for me! I don't know if this will work out. But you are really cool and mature. I think it'll still be fun to hang out." Hopefully hanging out means SEX

- another option is just not tell the girl. Tell her - " Let's just say I am a lot more mature than you I can teach you stuff that guys your age cannot (imply bedroom action). In this situation most girl will still insist on knowing your exact age. Just let her guess, keep saying close, you are very close, until you wear her out. This way she still goes knowingly into a relationship with a older men with some level of excitement and intrigue, and you never lied to her.


I know this topic has been discussed before, and I really appreciate you guys chiming in. Dealing with is age issue without lying with US girls is gonna take some finesse. We'll figure it out!

[MrXY]

If she is under 40 I lie and say I am ten years younger than I am which I can easily pass for.

If she is over 40 I sometimes lie and sometimes tell the truth-either way works

I never bring up the age issue and shut it down as quickly as possible