[ElJefe]

It's hard to tell if I've just gotten colder or if my standards have increased.

I just spent five days on vacation with a girl that I think a lot of guys would love to be with, she's got big heart, too young to have slutted it up and with whom I've had a rather good time.

But it just isn't doing it for me. I was happy to say good-bye, I had to check myself not to walk right off after saying goodbyes and watch her till she was out of sight. For the last two days I've just wanted to go back home and get back to work. Yes, I'm busy - but if I was really smitten I'd jump through hoops to find time. At least how that's how it used to be. But I'm becoming increasingly indifferent, and she's sensing it.

To make it worse, the other day she told me she loved me. To put it in starker terms, I'm pretty sure I am the love of her life.

How do I let this girl off easy? I've probably occupied like 80-90 percent of her conciousness the past few months.

[Kickb]

Maybe you could demote her to fuck buddy status. And only communicate/see her once or twice a week.

[michelin]

"I need time"

"I'm not the kind of guy for a LTR"

and so on

[Beyond Borders]

(10-22-2012 08:01 AM)ElJefe Wrote:  

It's hard to tell if I've just gotten colder or if my standards have increased.

I just spent five days on vacation with a girl that I think a lot of guys would love to be with, she's got big heart, too young to have slutted it up and with whom I've had a rather good time.

But it just isn't doing it for me. I was happy to say good-bye, I had to check myself not to walk right off after saying goodbyes and watch her till she was out of sight. For the last two days I've just wanted to go back home and get back to work. Yes, I'm busy - but if I was really smitten I'd jump through hoops to find time. At least how that's how it used to be. But I'm becoming increasingly indifferent, and she's sensing it.

To make it worse, the other day she told me she loved me. To put it in starker terms, I'm pretty sure I am the love of her life.

How do I let this girl off easy? I've probably occupied like 80-90 percent of her conciousness the past few months.

It sounds to me like she's too invested too soon (or is acting as if she is) and it's subconsciously turning you off. The more indifferent you become, the more she'll cling, and the more you'll want to run away. lol If she took an about face right now and completely ignored you, you'd probably start chasing her again or at least be fighting the urge.

We're just funny emotional critters.

[haywire]

I'd say don't scar her or intentionally break her heart. Just act uber-beta with her and get dumped. Another thing that drives women away in relationships is aloof game. There are many other strategies to "un-pickup" girls, as well.

How old is she, btw?

[Samseau]

Sounds like this girl isn't hot enough for you.

[ElJefe]

Nah, she's quite attractive. I even dumped a squeeze I had on the side to try and see if that would give me some one-itis.

I think I'm going to tell her I'm just not at that "stage" yet and need more time for myself.

[Matt3B]

Krauser wrote a post recently about how to let down a girl who's deeply converted. He said you've got to do what haywire says and go ultra beta on her so she loses feelings and friendzones you eventually, or you can be cold hearted as fuck and go radio silent on her. I suggest you check the post it, it was from a couple of weeks ago.

[WesternCancer]

ElJefe are you banging my girls friend? Shes been seeing this guy for almost a year now, he lost his virginity to her but is super aloof and is one of those dudes who acts way older than he is. My girl was blabbing to me the other day and told me how his girl said she loved him with all her heart. He replied with "cool, I don't" and banged her. Gotta love that oblivious alpha shyt.

[michelin]

(10-23-2012 07:37 PM)MattC Wrote:  

Krauser wrote a post recently about how to let down a girl who's deeply converted. He said you've got to do what haywire says and go ultra beta on her so she loses feelings and friendzones you eventually, or you can be cold hearted as fuck and go radio silent on her. I suggest you check the post it, it was from a couple of weeks ago.

Link, please?

[Samseau]

(10-23-2012 07:06 PM)ElJefe Wrote:  

Nah, she's quite attractive. I even dumped a squeeze I had on the side to try and see if that would give me some one-itis.

I think I'm going to tell her I'm just not at that "stage" yet and need more time for myself.

I don't believe you. No man gets bored of a hot girl telling him "I love you".



Girl: "Honey, I love you. Would you like breakfast in bed tomorrow morning?"

ElJefe: "BITCH PLEASE. I need more alpha aloof attitude or else my interest in you will drop!!!"


ElJefe, why don't you tell us the whole story man?

[Matt3B]

(10-24-2012 05:57 AM)michelin Wrote:  

(10-23-2012 07:37 PM)MattC Wrote:  

Krauser wrote a post recently about how to let down a girl who's deeply converted. He said you've got to do what haywire says and go ultra beta on her so she loses feelings and friendzones you eventually, or you can be cold hearted as fuck and go radio silent on her. I suggest you check the post it, it was from a couple of weeks ago.

Link, please?

Towards the end, mate.

http://krauserpua.com/2012/10/16/i-bang-...av-dancer/

[tiggaling]

You can just be clear and say you are not feeling the chemistry to make this go further.

A lot of the the time females will just think they are in love with you, because for whatever reason it behooves them to be with you. If it doesn't behoove you to be with her, and it seems clear that it doesn't - then its a no brainer. Chemistry is not a thing that the mind decides, it is something that is there or it isn't.

If they think they are in love with you, you can just say that you don't feel their love and it is just in their head.(if you think this is the case) This can help them snap out of the delusion. Sounds brutal - but it works and they can realise for themselves what is the case. I don't think females are often so gentle in this regard, because they understand the brutal/blunt nature of natural chemistry, perhaps more than men, and so tend to respect that.

This is not to be anti-love, but "love" on one side of the fence is not love, but more like some kind of obsession/interest the hamster uses to tell itself "be with this guy!"

You can say something like, "I'm looking for my soulmate/other half" or whatever, and that kind of attitude is fair enough! and will be understood! even if there is real passion and chemistry you can say that! what is she going to say to that?
"what if I am your soul mate?"
?
you can say something like, "when you know, you know" or just "I'm just not feeling it" or you could go into, "its not you OR me, I just don't think US is going to work out" as well.

Why let her down gently? Isn't that just more pandering beta murka male like behavior? She's going to hit the ground anyway. Frankness and honesty is an intelligent policy and you can't really lose with that. And then you've got a clean break and can hit the highway without looking back.

(10-22-2012 08:01 AM)ElJefe Wrote:  

To put it in starker terms, I'm pretty sure I am the love of her life.

Well, if she's young you don't know that. I doubt if she is as good a catch as all that, that you are the last man who will win her heart. There might be a dozen or more men in her life she says "I Love You" to for all you know.

[ElJefe]

OK ok she's not THAT hot (cf Samseau's picture).

She's attractive. An 8. She has some irritating personality traits that have pissed me off the past few days but they've paled the past few days as I got a break from them.

Just spoke to her and she called me out on not responding when she would say things like "I love you" or "I really care about you" and I tried to play it smooth, but we ended up talking about why I didn't say stuff like that and I told her I wasn't at that stage yet. You could hear her swallow a lump through the phone. But I was glad to get it off my chest. Seems like she's willing to let me have some space and give me "time".

[Belgrano]

I just watched this video of Russell Peters on youtube, parts of it remind me of my inability (and futile attempts) to break up with girls I honestly care about.

[kazz]

she will find a replacement from you within a couple of weeks to a month, just like you were the replacement from the last one. Thats what attractive women do, because they can.

[WesternCancer]

(10-27-2012 11:21 PM)kazz Wrote:  

she will find a replacement from you within a couple of weeks to a month, just like you were the replacement from the last one. Thats what attractive women do, because they can.

Thats what attractive men do too.

[Blaze Frazier]

Put it in her ass.

"It's not tight enough."

Break up.

Done.

[Krauser]

(10-23-2012 07:37 PM)MattC Wrote:  

Krauser wrote a post recently about how to let down a girl who's deeply converted. He said you've got to do what haywire says and go ultra beta on her so she loses feelings and friendzones you eventually, or you can be cold hearted as fuck and go radio silent on her. I suggest you check the post it, it was from a couple of weeks ago.

I never said anything about going beta

[Duke Castile]

Honestly, this is one area I'm a total pussy in. I HATE breaking it off with girls. One of the last chicks I posted on my pics of girls we've banged thread had the most annoying personality traits. She was a pothead and had the beginnings of a smokers voice that really was pronounced when she said "baby", which was all the goddamn time. I'd cringe and try and talk to her in ways that would avoid her saying that word. Finally I just sent her a text message breaking it off. Besides the annoying stuff she was a pretty decent person. Other annoying shit she would do was give me unsolicited advice. I fucking hate that. Bitch you're barely 25, wtf do you know about anything?

[Kaizen]

I'm in this situation every few months and hate it

Tried something new a week ago: pure honesty...told her I enjoyed her company but didn't see long term. Didn't go terribly.

[CMan0928]

(10-28-2012 06:21 PM)Fisto Wrote:  

Bitch you're barely 25, wtf do you know about anything?

lol well said, sir.

[FretDancer]

(10-28-2012 06:21 PM)Fisto Wrote:  

Honestly, this is one area I'm a total pussy in. I HATE breaking it off with girls. One of the last chicks I posted on my pics of girls we've banged thread had the most annoying personality traits. She was a pothead and had the beginnings of a smokers voice that really was pronounced when she said "baby", which was all the goddamn time. I'd cringe and try and talk to her in ways that would avoid her saying that word. Finally I just sent her a text message breaking it off. Besides the annoying stuff she was a pretty decent person. Other annoying shit she would do was give me unsolicited advice. I fucking hate that. Bitch you're barely 25, wtf do you know about anything?

The problem comes when the girl's actually pretty cool and nice, it makes things harder. I see this is El Jefe's case.

My advice would be to tell her you are not ready for commitment, straight up no bullshit. Don't tell her to not contact you again, because if you do, why not just lay her off the hard way right from the start anyways?

In time she will understand. Everybody has to deal with these things in their lives so don't worry too much about it.

[ElJefe]

(10-28-2012 06:21 PM)Fisto Wrote:  

Besides the annoying stuff she was a pretty decent person. Other annoying shit she would do was give me unsolicited advice. I fucking hate that. Bitch you're barely 25, wtf do you know about anything?

THAT's EXACTLY what irritates me the most. I wonder if that's all girls?

[DarkTriad]

(10-30-2012 10:53 AM)ElJefe Wrote:  

(10-28-2012 06:21 PM)Fisto Wrote:  

Besides the annoying stuff she was a pretty decent person. Other annoying shit she would do was give me unsolicited advice. I fucking hate that. Bitch you're barely 25, wtf do you know about anything?

THAT's EXACTLY what irritates me the most. I wonder if that's all girls?

It's not girls that respect you, I'll tell you that much.