[plague]

I'm sure this has been touched upon before, but I couldn't think of the proper search terms.

a girl I was seeing recently ended it, she didn't give a reason but I presume it was because she was pushing for a relationship, and I wasn't interested in anything more than sex and going to bars together. this manifested in a few ways - her asking to see me more often, her asking me out to dinner, her calling me to hang out multiple times a week. I liked her but didn't want to give the wrong impression, plus I didn't feel that she was worth the work.

what I would have liked is to keep things casual, seeing each other once a week max. when I realized this was unlikely my goal was just to prolong it as long as possible without escalating.

are there proven techniques to increase the probability of girls keeping me in the "fuck buddy" bucket, instead of having them put me in the "boyfriend" bucket, then get angry when I am not interested? I just want to be the guy girls call when they are horny, I don't want to go out to dinner and text each other all the time.

[Neo]

(09-30-2012 07:46 PM)plague Wrote:  

are there proven techniques to increase the probability of girls keeping me in the "fuck buddy" bucket, instead of having them put me in the "boyfriend" bucket, then get angry when I am not interested? I just want to be the guy girls call when they are horny, I don't want to go out to dinner and text each other all the time.

IME it comes down to three things.

1) Your initial vibe and behavior.
2) The age range of the girls/picking the right girls.
3) Giving her the good dick.

Like us guys, girls get an initial impression. If she sees you as boyfriend material she's more likely to put you into the boyfriend category. I remember a few years ago I was hanging out with a friend of mine, an ex college athlete natural. He had banged this girl the weekend before and she texted him something like 'How was your day?' he was like 'Fuck this girl, if it's not about hooking up I'm not even going to respond.' Bottom line, it's easy to get sucked into the bf role, but guys who just bang out girls and have tons of fuck buddies act completely differently. Check out the 'just be a dickhead' thread and study elmechanico on the board, he seems to pull this off perfectly and reminds me a lot of my friend. This is something I've gotten better at over the years, cause girls used to always put me in the potential boyfriend category.

This ties in to number 3. I've found that if I fuck her good she's going to stick around and live in hope that a relationship will happen even though deep down she knows that I'm not going to date her. Yet she is addicted to the sex, so she keeps hitting me up and wanting to bang.

The last thing is picking the right type girls to begin with. In general once girls get to their late twenties they want to settle down, but there are tons of girls who are perfectly fine with casual sex and relationships. Just need to find who they are.

[Pappy]

(09-30-2012 07:46 PM)plague Wrote:  

are there proven techniques to increase the probability of girls keeping me in the "fuck buddy" bucket, instead of having them put me in the "boyfriend" bucket, then get angry when I am not interested? I just want to be the guy girls call when they are horny, I don't want to go out to dinner and text each other all the time.

I would say the only technique that matters is having more than one girl. It sounds like you're only fucking this one girl, so all the techniques in the world won't change a thing. If you have other girls, then all your attitude and manners and vibes will fall into place and you might even find she will stick around without you doing anything special. When she throws a fit, you can just move to other girls and not care.