[aphelion]

Of course, you silly girl. You're not 'looking'. You want puppies and rainbows and romance just magically happening, but you're definitely not LOOKING. Is any woman under 30 without a gross physical deformity ever actually 'looking'?

That being said, where to take it from there? My thought is to completely ignore the comment and move forward, but I wonder if the forum has some proactive approach worth looking at.

Context: I had a night out at karaoke where I performed like a son of a bitch (I have a very good voice and know how to dance and sing at the same time). My buddy started talking to this girl, but then he had to ditch, leaving her to me, and I started chatting her up a bit. She's nice, cute, 24 and seems like a decent human being. However, I failed to build much of a connection in between the fun times and bouncing around between girls, and next thing I know, she's sweeping up her coat to leave. (oops) I told her, 'I need your number'.

Now that I type that context out, my second thought is that her comment may need some addressing, to chill out her hamster a bit and let her feel a little 'safer'. Thoughts?

[aphelion]

also, our conversation outside of karaoke was extremely limited.

Me: 'XXXX, this is YYYY from ZZZZ on Sunday. Wasn't that fun?' (Tuesday)
Her: 'Hey YYYY. Yea. Sunday was fun.' (1 hour later)
Me: 'Let's do it again.' (Wednesday)
Her: 'Sure. Just to let you know tho, I'm really not looking for anything romantic.' (2 hours later)

[redstar]

Say "That's cool with me, we can just have fun" or "yeah I'm just looking for fun too"

They all know what fun is so there won't be any surprises.

[peterthephoenix]

'Sure. Just to let you know tho, I'm really not looking for anything romantic.' = Let's just be friends.

You weren't bold enough dude. Tough game.

[el mechanico]

(09-19-2012 06:25 PM)peterthephoenix Wrote:  

'Sure. Just to let you know tho, I'm really not looking for anything romantic.' = Let's just be friends.

You weren't bold enough dude. Tough game.

Ouch!

Lately while I'm on autopilot I've been catching myself saying things like
Chill out
Relax
Settle down
All with a hand motion and quick look then carry on like whatever she said didn't matter as it shouldn't.

[aphelion]

(09-19-2012 06:25 PM)peterthephoenix Wrote:  

'Sure. Just to let you know tho, I'm really not looking for anything romantic.' = Let's just be friends.

You weren't bold enough dude. Tough game.

Make no mistake about it, I whiffed that night. I don't think it's unsalvagable, but I didn't have my game face on for sure.

[sylo]

Last night I hit up a 21 yr old Mexican here in SoCal. I asked her if she ever went out (we were at a club) and asked if she wanted to get a drink sometime or do something. She said yes, it would be fun, but just so you know, I like going out as friends, so only if its that. (A form of I am not looking for anything right now) All I said, which piqued her interest and got her chasing me, was "Why would we go out as anything different? I just met you and it was in a bar. I usually never meet people in bars but I wanted to talk to you"

Basically dude, just casually put it back on her and act like 'why would you even think that it would be anything romantic' and you should be good. I dont know about your chick now but that should work most of the time.

[badger3x]

Invite her out for karaoke again, and then spring this on her.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gE277VNyilo

[aphelion]

sylo, I like your style there. I'll try and construct a casual way to say it over text.

Also, badger3x, for the record, my go-to song is Wicked Game.

[Bacchus]

I could see one of two things working:

1) A reframe, as mentioned by others. Something like, "Slow down who said anything about romance?"

2) Ignore it and press on. "And?"

In your situation, I would choose the reframe because you didn't really sell her on you in the initial meeting.

[rationalize_this]

I've had girls I've banged for months vomit this verbal diarhea out, and I've had girls that I hadn't banged yet say the exact same thing. You probably caught her at a shit time in her life, aka shes gotten pumped and dumped brutally for a few months, or just got broken up with/ended an LTR. I wouldnt even try to salvage this. I may use it as an excuse just to fuck with her. "Whatever you say Juliet"

[Lucky]

The first girl I ever banged using Game said this to me before our first date.

"Sure we can hang out, but I'm not really looking to get into a relationship or anything. I like making new friends though."

We banged on the second date.

[redstar]

(09-19-2012 09:13 PM)Lucky Wrote:  

The first girl I ever banged using Game said this to me before our first date.

"Sure we can hang out, but I'm not really looking to get into a relationship or anything. I like making new friends though."

We banged on the second date.

And how did you respond? Can't forget that detail on this forum.

[XXL]

(09-19-2012 06:06 PM)aphelion Wrote:  

My thought is to completely ignore the comment and move forward, but I wonder if the forum has some proactive approach worth looking at.

you answered your own questions perfectly. that's the most proactive as you can get. ignore everything that doesn't get you closer to your goal and lead lead lead & move forward on your terms.

(09-19-2012 06:06 PM)aphelion Wrote:  

Now that I type that context out, my second thought is that her comment may need some addressing, to chill out her hamster a bit and let her feel a little 'safer'. Thoughts?

i'd acknowledge where she's at (she's about to leave, she didn't talk to you enough, she needs to spend more time with you) and lead it from there, give it to her cause that would get me closer. so in that situation i'd acknowledge it (ok sure / cool) and immediately cut that useless thread and move it forward (hey let me handle that [her coat] here let's sit here for a moment yeah come on it'll be fun, i want to drink xyz you want some?).

basically it's pacing & leading. first i have to be empathic enough and show her i'm emotionally attuned to her situation and from there i can lead and move forward.

[PrettyBoy]

Haha, i heard that for the for the first time the other night from a regular fuckbuddy. She caught me out of frame. She said something along those lines and i told her "your morally retarded" and said "who cares, can you make sense for once?". The way she said it was so stupid and made no sense to the point that I got mad.(caught up in her emotional trap). Boom , haven't heard from her since. Nor do i care.

Biting your tongue And diverting the conversation is always your best bet , especially when in doubt. Even more important ,keep your state of mind the same. The minute she knocks you off track is the minute you could lose and get caught up in her emotional trap. The object here is to remain UNFAZED. <---- that is your frame, keep it for life.

[Lucky]

(09-20-2012 12:00 AM)redstar Wrote:  

(09-19-2012 09:13 PM)Lucky Wrote:  

The first girl I ever banged using Game said this to me before our first date.

"Sure we can hang out, but I'm not really looking to get into a relationship or anything. I like making new friends though."

We banged on the second date.

And how did you respond? Can't forget that detail on this forum.

I just agreed with her. I said "yeah of course You seem like you'd be a good friend."

Probably not the best response but I was just trying to say what I could to get her to hang out.

This was when I was first starting out in the game and was just glad that a girl agreed to hang out with me.

I didn't even kiss her on the first date but on the second date we had dinner and then I suggested she come over to watch a movie. I didn't even kiss her till the end of the movie and after overcoming massive LMR got the bang.

[Private Man]

Actions over words. This is the first Red Pill lesson.

You're welcome.

[Timoteo]

"I'm not looking for anything right now" means she's either looking to do casual, which I find most women struggle with, or she's looking for a chump. Someone she can put in the friendzone but get boyfriend-like attention from. If she ain't bangin' you shouldn't be hangin'

[Basil Ransom]

(09-20-2012 03:24 PM)Timoteo Wrote:  

"I'm not looking for anything right now" means she's either looking to do casual, which I find most women struggle with, or she's looking for a chump. Someone she can put in the friendzone but get boyfriend-like attention from. If she ain't bangin' you shouldn't be hangin'

Nailed it.

You have to listen to how she's phrasing it. If she says "I'm not looking for anything serious right now" that means she wants to fuck without being in a relationship. If she says, "let's just be friends" then she probably has decided she won't fuck you.

Also, I don't buy this whole 'pretend I didn't want to fuck you anyway' response. If a girl tried to LJBF me, I'd leave. If I thought she was just fucking with me, I'd eye fuck her and grab her and say something random like, "oh, we'd make terrible friends." I don't get LJBF'ed. I suspect it's because I come across as a guy with a pair, and I proceed aggressively. When you're like that, girls find it easier to reject you outright if they don't want to fuck you. Makes my life easier.

Quote:

"Sure we can hang out, but I'm not really looking to get into a relationship or anything. I like making new friends though."

We banged on the second date.

Good example. She hasn't framed you in particular as a friend. If she had, that would suggest she wouldn't fuck you. Still, you have to feel out her vibe.

[tjuan]

Heard "I don't want anything serious" recently from a girl on POF.
My response was "cool, whatever happens happens." I went on about how I am booked to travel soon, so she's not allowed to get attached. I think she liked hearing that. The date resulted in a SDL. I think 'nothing serious' girls are those who only want to bang without there being any relationship, btw, she texts me when she has days off now. Heh.
I think the booked to travel line could be useful with both girls looking for relationships and those looking for 'nothing serious'. If the relationship girl likes you enough she'll think she'll be willing to wait a few weeks in the distant future or whatever (besides, it's a DHV, "booked" to travel - not "wanting" to travel) and the nothing serious girl will read that as "oh great, he's not permanent". Remember your plans can always happen to "fall through", Grandma is sick, again.
I'm trying to find an answer or routine that would work in both cases or when the girl doesn't tell you what she's looking for, as if she knows.

[Hades]

My favorite direct game lines are these two :

"Who said we were friends?"

and something like

She : "I'm going to hit you with something to test your reaction. I have a boyfriend, I'm not looking for anything right now, etc."
Me : ... (full eye contact for like four-five seconds)
"And?"

[snoop]

(09-19-2012 06:06 PM)aphelion Wrote:  

Of course, you silly girl. You're not 'looking'. You want puppies and rainbows and romance just magically happening, but you're definitely not LOOKING. Is any woman under 30 without a gross physical deformity ever actually 'looking'?

That being said, where to take it from there? My thought is to completely ignore the comment and move forward, but I wonder if the forum has some proactive approach worth looking at.

Context: I had a night out at karaoke where I performed like a son of a bitch (I have a very good voice and know how to dance and sing at the same time). My buddy started talking to this girl, but then he had to ditch, leaving her to me, and I started chatting her up a bit. She's nice, cute, 24 and seems like a decent human being. However, I failed to build much of a connection in between the fun times and bouncing around between girls, and next thing I know, she's sweeping up her coat to leave. (oops) I told her, 'I need your number'.

Now that I type that context out, my second thought is that her comment may need some addressing, to chill out her hamster a bit and let her feel a little 'safer'. Thoughts?

Notice the "right now" part in your thread title?

That's her telling you she is not all that into you, she thinks she can do better and plans on finding out.

[IainMuirs]

(09-19-2012 08:59 PM)Bacchus Wrote:  

I could see one of two things working:

1) A reframe, as mentioned by others. Something like, "Slow down who said anything about romance?"

2) Ignore it and press on. "And?"

In your situation, I would choose the reframe because you didn't really sell her on you in the initial meeting.

Yeah I would have probably said something like "we've just met and you're already talking about romance, don't get carried away we're not getting married yet".

[bliss]

(09-20-2012 12:00 AM)redstar Wrote:  

(09-19-2012 09:13 PM)Lucky Wrote:  

The first girl I ever banged using Game said this to me before our first date.

"Sure we can hang out, but I'm not really looking to get into a relationship or anything. I like making new friends though."

We banged on the second date.

And how did you respond? Can't forget that detail on this forum.

you don't really need to, maybe say "same" or that you know how messy relationships can be or something. personally i wouldn't say anything at all, just laugh it off

people take the shit girls say way, way too seriously... or to put it another way, they're not adept at translating womanese because they think women use words with the intention of expressing what those words mean.

[bliss]

(09-21-2012 07:49 AM)Hades Wrote:  

My favorite direct game lines are these two :

"Who said we were friends?"

we have a winner!