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"grass is greener" mentality
09-18-2012, 08:57 PM
Fellas,
Upon reflecting on my younger (beta) years with women and my most recent; I have had a considerable amount of success with a quite low amount of effort.
The problem is this:
Let's say a girl is an 8. I pick her up. I run my aloof asshole with a tender side type game. I bang her into submission. I wash my sheets. Repeat.
This is all great...but when I'm done, I immediately begin to think my female conquest is a couple points lower than what I previously rated her. And no, I'm not talking about taking off the beer goggles.
I simply lose interest after I bang a girl one or two times. At that point I get a little down on myself and feel like I could have applied my efforts elsewhere for a better end result.
From an investing standpoint- It's like I'm looking at my portfolio of stocks, of which, has a nice spread between dividend stocks and some growth stocks with solid potential. In actuality, I may be getting an 8% return annually, but I feel as if I'm only getting a 2% return, and am willing to throw it away to see whats behind mystery portfolio #2.
That was a horrible analogy; it could just be the Tylenol PM's kicking in. Nevertheless, does anyone else experience these feelings?
I would like to be a little more content with the women in my life, and I have constant validation from outside sources that these women are good-looking.
It's like chasing a carrot at the end of a stick. If there is any idea on how to remedy this- I would appreciate it much.
Anecdotes welcome. -Chubby
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"grass is greener" mentality
09-18-2012, 09:24 PM
After enough time, you start to notice the flaws on any girl. If you're getting bored, then move on and don't apologize for it. Why deal with a girl that you're not even into? Just recognize that it may take more effort, but it's worth it.
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"grass is greener" mentality
09-18-2012, 09:32 PM
Thats exactly what I have been doing.
It just seems like a never ending investment in which I never realize a true, content feeling of satisfaction.
Or does it just never come? Perhaps I should cope with spinnin' plates. It could be much worse, I realize that.
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"grass is greener" mentality
09-18-2012, 10:49 PM
This isn't the girl's fault, it's your fault. If you get bored with a girl who connect with after 2 times hanging out, it's on you and it's up to you to come up with interesting things to do to her, do with her, etc. We all know that you have to lead girls, and they will follow. It sounds like you just can't come up with anything new to lead the girl into to make it fun for you, and fun for her too. It's on you to come up with new shit, roleplays, etc.
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"grass is greener" mentality
09-19-2012, 07:11 PM
i always say, if you have to convince yourself that you like something. then you probably don't like it all that much.
however, if you're perpetually banging chicks that are decently attractive and you can't seem to find one that actually holds your interest, its probably more to do with personality than looks.
in general i've found it hard to meet people that i like just in life. im pretty misanthropic, so add that onto the small number of chicks out there who turn me on sexually and i can kind of relate to you on that. i've never met a girl who i banged who i got along with enough or had enough fun with to make a gf. attractive women don't need personalities and ugly women can't benefit from having one anway, so maybe its a crapshoot.
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"grass is greener" mentality
09-19-2012, 08:04 PM
The grass is greener where you water it.
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"grass is greener" mentality
09-20-2012, 03:44 AM
I don't mean to be rude, but jeeze man. You need to go to a bar or a coffee shop or something and talk to a broke-ass 35 year old white guy who's never had an orgasm with a woman who wasn't his whale of a wife, and not before he tepidly cajoled it out of her twice yearly with flowers, jewelry, chocolates, and breakfast in bed.
If you can't find this guy in real life, I'm sure he exists on Dear Abby or something. Roissy also writes about this all the time, he knows that others have it bad.
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"grass is greener" mentality
09-20-2012, 06:53 PM
Quote: (09-18-2012 08:57 PM)Cruisen_Chubby Wrote:
...I immediately begin to think my female conquest is a couple points lower than what I previously rated her...
...I simply lose interest after I bang a girl one or two times. At that point I get a little down on myself and feel like I could have applied my efforts elsewhere for a better end result...
...I would like to be a little more content with the women in my life...
Your problem is you constantly need to feel validated by other guys that the girls your banging are hot, because you don't feel confident in your own judgement. Remind yourself of why you learned game, remind yourself of why you are attracted to women in the first place (seriously) and remember a real man doesn't bang girls because he wants to show off. You should be banging them because you love the female form, you should be hanging out with them because you love the way they express their femininity etc...
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"grass is greener" mentality
09-23-2012, 12:35 PM
Thank you for the humbling responses gentlemen.
This is exactly why I joined this forum: Different Vantage Points.
I think the quote above about watering the grass is from a Bieber song but very fitting...Thanks.
This one is definately on me and some sort of complex I have. May need to take a step back and reevaluate.
Never again will you see such a mindless thread from your chubby.
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"grass is greener" mentality
09-23-2012, 05:34 PM
I thought the grass was greener after finding this website.. broke up with my gf of 7 years an traveled an banged lots of hot chicks.... not a day goes by I dont regret thinking the grass was greener on the other side
Bruising cervix since 96
#TeamBeard
"I just want to live out my days drinking virgin margaritas and banging virgin señoritas" - Uncle Cr33pin
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"grass is greener" mentality
09-24-2012, 07:52 AM
Lot of hate in this thread. It's a good question. Remember, this is a pickup forum, not a 'how do I find the love of my life?' forum.
Your question tells me that you a) are driven; and, b) haven't found what you're looking for.
Do not apologize and don't sweat the details. Use your realizations to drive yourself to find more, better, fresher, kinkier, whatever floats your boat.
Women are just women. They are all flawed and mostly boring anyway.
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"grass is greener" mentality
09-24-2012, 05:59 PM
A few of the girls I went out with in hs and college I never really got tired of banging. They had bodies that drove me crazy, sexual appetite, and I guess chemistry (pheromones or whatever). Haven't really experienced that since then. It's been as you describe, a few bangs, maybe even a month or two's worth, then I'm not interested. Guess I'm just not finding the right kind of girl...
"...it's the quiet cool...it's for someone who's been through the struggle and come out on the other side smelling like money and pussy."
"put her in the taxi, put her number in the trash can"
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"grass is greener" mentality
09-24-2012, 06:06 PM
Quote: (09-18-2012 08:57 PM)Cruisen_Chubby Wrote:
Fellas,
Upon reflecting on my younger (beta) years with women and my most recent; I have had a considerable amount of success with a quite low amount of effort.
The problem is this:
Let's say a girl is an 8. I pick her up. I run my aloof asshole with a tender side type game. I bang her into submission. I wash my sheets. Repeat.
This is all great...but when I'm done, I immediately begin to think my female conquest is a couple points lower than what I previously rated her. And no, I'm not talking about taking off the beer goggles.
I simply lose interest after I bang a girl one or two times. At that point I get a little down on myself and feel like I could have applied my efforts elsewhere for a better end result.
From an investing standpoint- It's like I'm looking at my portfolio of stocks, of which, has a nice spread between dividend stocks and some growth stocks with solid potential. In actuality, I may be getting an 8% return annually, but I feel as if I'm only getting a 2% return, and am willing to throw it away to see whats behind mystery portfolio #2.
That was a horrible analogy; it could just be the Tylenol PM's kicking in. Nevertheless, does anyone else experience these feelings?
I would like to be a little more content with the women in my life, and I have constant validation from outside sources that these women are good-looking.
It's like chasing a carrot at the end of a stick. If there is any idea on how to remedy this- I would appreciate it much.
Anecdotes welcome. -Chubby
Do you have the same contentment issues in other areas of life as well?
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"grass is greener" mentality
09-26-2012, 12:14 PM
Chubby,
I feel your pain. No matter how hot a chick is, either objectively or in terms of personal preference, if you don't have a genuine human connection with her, don't like her as a person, and got her into bed by being way more awesome than her, you will get bored of fucking her.
The problem isn't your lack of ability to be 'satisfied' - it's your choice of targets and their quality.
If you want to be satisfied, your mind and your heart have to play a role, not just your eyes. You need to find a girl that you can have actual respect for, that challenges you (in a useful way!), that connects with you on a deeper level, and offers you something of significant personal value besides just her body.
Now, this girl will probably not be the hottest, but if really like her as a person, as you keep fucking her an odd thing will happen: you will find her *more* attractive over time, not less. Crazy stuff - i think it's called 'love'.
Unfortunately, if you are any sort of self-actualizing man, the number of quality women out there that really call out to you on a deeper level will be very small. In my own life i have only come across 2 or 3 that were in the right age range.
So, Chubby, it's probably not you. If you think that an 8 is now a 6, it means that the only thing drawing you to her were her looks, and now that you've conquered her, she has nothing else to offer you. That's just how it is - you can't make something out of something it is not.
Cliche as it sounds, when you find 'the right one' (that is, the one that's at your current level), you'll know. You won't have to 'try' to keep being interested in her, your inner beta will start acting up, and you will have to constantly keep him at bay. It will be a challenge, and it will be good - after all, the only things worthwhile are the ones you have to work for, right?
You mentioned that you've had to put in minimal effort - this is why, psychologically speaking, you have been getting minimal results.
Until you find worthwhile enough girl, though, you will just have to grin, bear it, and effortlessly bang lots of hotties.
It's a difficult life.
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"grass is greener" mentality
09-26-2012, 01:00 PM
Well said Glass Walker
Bruising cervix since 96
#TeamBeard
"I just want to live out my days drinking virgin margaritas and banging virgin señoritas" - Uncle Cr33pin