[Teekay]

Great thread. I've been recently taking some supplements to raise my T-levels and all of a sudden I'm no longer the perfectly composed mature man but a raging monster. I get pissed off at any opportunity. It's weird as I used to be rather calm and subdued. Hopefully more gym will help as might boxing, which I'm about to try.

[brock sampson]

[pants]

Anger is just a normal feeling. Trying to stop feeling anger is pointless. You don't have to react screaming and punching. But if someone oversteps you boundaries, you have to express in a way that's not cool with you. If you try keeping your cool in all situations, you'll end up like the "exploder"

In some situation, yes you have to suppress, but this should not be the norm.

[loki]

(09-10-2012 04:04 PM)houston Wrote:  

Players, I need some advice. I've always been one to get pissed easily and it ruins my day when it happens. It's a bad habit and I don't know how to control it.

Here's an example. I was having a great day up until a few hours ago. I noticed someone ran a cart against the side of my car or something like that when I came out of a store. I got real hot and almost hit someone when I peeled out of the parking lot. I went home and checked out the damage again. It's not that bad or even noticeable. I know a good detailer who I've been meaning to use anyways and I'm pretty sure he can get rid of the marks and discolorations. Even knowing that, it fucked up my day. I don't own much and it hurts when something happens to my car.

Is there anything I can do to not let anger control me?? I don't like getting mad so quick over every little thing and having a frown on my face for the rest of the day. I've tried closing my eyes and slowly counting to 10, but I just want to go home and drink when something like this happens.

have a proper look into techniques for anger management, you may even be able to do some sort of classes on the topic in your area, which are generally run by the courts...

its way easier to control once you understand the why and how...

hope this helps and good luck getting on top of it.

[jtbabycarrots]

(09-10-2012 04:04 PM)houston Wrote:  

Players, I need some advice. I've always been one to get pissed easily and it ruins my day when it happens. It's a bad habit and I don't know how to control it.

Here's an example. I was having a great day up until a few hours ago. I noticed someone ran a cart against the side of my car or something like that when I came out of a store. I got real hot and almost hit someone when I peeled out of the parking lot. I went home and checked out the damage again. It's not that bad or even noticeable. I know a good detailer who I've been meaning to use anyways and I'm pretty sure he can get rid of the marks and discolorations. Even knowing that, it fucked up my day. I don't own much and it hurts when something happens to my car.

Is there anything I can do to not let anger control me?? I don't like getting mad so quick over every little thing and having a frown on my face for the rest of the day. I've tried closing my eyes and slowly counting to 10, but I just want to go home and drink when something like this happens.

"When we get angry, the heart rate, arterial tension and testosterone production increases, cortisol (the stress hormone) decreases, and the left hemisphere of the brain becomes more stimulated."

Anger originates from our "fight or flight" mechanism in our ancient brain. The mechanism basically gets us ready for warfare. (Boxing, as mentioned by others, is a good stress reducer and can be beneficial, assuming you don't hurt yourself in the process.)

You cannot necessarily control anger but you can manage it - as we know.

The best way to do that is to inoculate yourself against stress/anger by incorporating meditation and mindfulness practices into your daily life. Through mindfulness we learn to become an impartial observer of our emotions and thoughts. Thus, we can maintain control of our outward reactions and dissipate the severity of our internal response.

That said, once your body has been flushed with testosterone you need to release it. So in that situation the best thing you could have done was get in your car and yell until you were blue in the face (i.e., breath in and out forcefully).

Hope that helps.

[kenny_powers]

Harness your anger and take it out on the next vagina you hammer.

[Asaxon]

A nice summary of what anger is and what strategies exist to cope:
http://www.apa.org/topics/anger/control.aspx

[renotime]

Henry Rollins on anger.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WR8s9THU2GY

[Teedub]

This is going to sound stupid, but Blue-tac is a great stress buster. I always keep a ball of it on my desk. Just squeeze it and make shapes etc. That, and a punch bag in the garage!

[durangotang]

houston,

I take it that you live in Houston, TX based on your name and the fact that you drive around with a pistol. I would suggest moving to a town with a slower pace of life. After living in a city and living in a small mountain town, the difference is night and day. It takes a lot to get my blood pressure up. There is almost no crime, certainly violent crime is very low, no traffic, no pollution. I live outside the hustle and bustle. I don't think you realize how stressful large metro areas can be if you have been living in one for a long time. You adapt to the stressful environment and internalize it in some way.

When you move away from a stressful environment, you can relax and you internalize that as well. You lose the guard. The difference is like rafting on a raging river always on alert on some level vs. kicking your feet up and floating on a meandering stream.

Take my current life for example:

I don't lock my car half the time. I don't lock the front door to my house. I walk in any part of town at any time of the night and never feel unsafe. I never worry about traffic and my walk to work is about 10 minutes. Traffic? There is no traffic We do drive slow though. In Durango, CO, weed is legal too, so no stress there.

All you need is an Internet connection to make money these days. About the only thing that sucks is the lack of variety - but for that I would just suggest a small town within a relatively short drive to a city. Food for thought.