[lurker123123]

Got played by what I now know to be a big whore. My rational mind says I'm better off without her, but it still stings since she was hot and I had oneitis. Do you suggest taking a break or just jumping back into gaming immediately (im a beginner)?

for the most part i was very confident but im feeling down. obviously gaming will have a lot of rejection. should i wait for my confidence to recover or just go do it?

[WesternCancer]

Start approaching and fucking other girls. Your best bet would have been to fuck other girls while you were still dating. Delete her number from your phone, delete her from facebook, stop hanging out with mutual friends (unless her friends are hot and you have a good potential of fucking them). Occupy your mind with something else do hard workouts, take up a hobby. You have to know that bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks so enjoy them while it lasts, once its over its over theres nothing you can do but learn for the next time.

Think of it this way: would you spend the rest of your life with this woman without ever straying because she is absolutely perfect? I'm willing to bet the answer is no because you're posting on the RVF. SO because you never planned on spending the rest of your life with this chick why should she occupy any more of your better spent time once things are over?

[FretDancer]

Focus on yourself, relax and work on things you want.

If you want to jump straight back into gaming, its the same thing, with the difference that you won't have a break before the rejection starts coming again.

Do you see what I mean. It does not matter, as long as you always work on yourself, break or not, and that you can also handle rejection.

[WestCoast]

You will recover and be a better man for it. It's all about how quickly you can recover, if you get heart broken 1000 times I will bet the 1000th will be even easier.

Go out every day you're in a positive mood, if you're in a foul mood hit the gym. Hard.

Lesson learned, always be dating multiple chicks

[teh_skeeze]

Out of curiosity, how long were you dating this chick? It usually takes about half of the time of a relationship to truly get over it. Your best bet is to just try to run through as many chicks as you can. Go for as many SNLs as possible as you will fuck things up if you try to establish anything beyond sexual at this point. Depending on how long it has been, you may see a benefit from the residual effects of being in a relationship. The smell of pussy can linger for a little while.

Whatever you do, don't get into another relationship.

[lurker123123]

(09-07-2012 10:28 PM)teh_skeeze Wrote:  

Out of curiosity, how long were you dating this chick?

About a year and a half

Quote:

Whatever you do, don't get into another relationship.

Sounds like good advice. I won't.

[Duke Castile]

Keep gaming girls. You won't want to but you have to. Put yourself on autopilot and just speak to them if nothing else. You lost. She beat you. You believed something because you WANTED to and now you're on the shit end but it will pass. DO NOT fuck girls that were less hot. That will make you more depressed. Trust me I know.

[The Fantasist]

Chin up,I think in all honesty we've all been there. Just don't go fantasizing about the past and glorifying how great you were together because the reality is that there were probably lots of times she annoyed the fcuk out of you and you thought about kicking her to the curb. Don't think about her at all,focus on the future. DO NOT CALL HER OR TRY TO SEE HER.

Like others said, get out there chasing girls again. Think about what you learnt in that relationship that will help you in future ones. And if you see her out with another guy,walk up with a smile on your face and say hi,shake his hand and say what a good looking couple they make. Chicks fucking hate that because it means they've lost all their power over you. Whenever you do that they always seem to give you a call a few weeks later asking if you'd take them back. The answer is always no.

[Hannibal]

Here's what I did.

I destroyed everything that reminded me of her. Threw it in a fire and the whole thing. And I mean everything. Clothes, gifts, fucking everything. I even threw out my bedding because it still smelled like her.

Then I deleted her number from my phone, I deleted her off Facebook, and I completely shut her out if she tried to talk to me.

The last thing you want to do is start fantasizing about the past because she sure as hell is not.

You do not want to get sentimental, that's a beta coping mechanism for your perceived lack of options.

Then go out and approach like a madman. After a bad relationship, don't get into another one just for the sake of being in a relationship. That's a fool's game.

[Veloce]

(09-07-2012 12:47 PM)lurker123123 Wrote:  

Got played by what I now know to be a big whore. My rational mind says I'm better off without her, but it still stings since she was hot and I had oneitis. Do you suggest taking a break or just jumping back into gaming immediately (im a beginner)?

for the most part i was very confident but im feeling down. obviously gaming will have a lot of rejection. should i wait for my confidence to recover or just go do it?

I'm gonna give you a little bit more of a psychobabble and "therapists" response:

Don't jump into anything. Be alone. It's really, really important to learn how to be alone. It sounds like you might have had your heart broken, even if just a little bit. This happened to me once when I was 19 or so, and looking back, it was the best thing that could've happened.

Don't go game new girls. You won't be able to fully game them to your full potential if you haven't properly processed your emotions. Give yourself a few weeks of just being alone. Forget girls, forget pussy, just focus on your own life. Sit down and write a list of what you want out of life, what your short and long term goals are. Avoid alcohol, workout like a madman like WestCoast suggests, and just pretend girls don't exist for a few weeks, maybe even a month.

If you give your brain a chance to process your emotions properly, it ensures you don't build up any negative resentments that you might bring into further interactions with girls.

[EasyMoney]

You must, absolutely must, go out and find another girl who you want to fuck, as much or more than, as quickly as possible. From my experience, the bitch was on my mind every day until i started driving up good leads.

I came to the red pill precisely because I got dumped by a girl who I was massively sprung on, but my beta ways ruined it for me. I got a couple bangs, but at much too high an emotional cost.

Oneitis is the worst thing; the only way to get rid of it is to go out and find a replacement.

Hit OKcupid every day for a month, or for as long as it takes to get dates with girls you want to bang. Hit the college bars, hit the malls, hit em up wherever you find em.

[swshrsweet]

(09-08-2012 11:36 AM)thedude3737 Wrote:  

(09-07-2012 12:47 PM)lurker123123 Wrote:  

Got played by what I now know to be a big whore. My rational mind says I'm better off without her, but it still stings since she was hot and I had oneitis. Do you suggest taking a break or just jumping back into gaming immediately (im a beginner)?

for the most part i was very confident but im feeling down. obviously gaming will have a lot of rejection. should i wait for my confidence to recover or just go do it?

I'm gonna give you a little bit more of a psychobabble and "therapists" response:

Don't jump into anything. Be alone. It's really, really important to learn how to be alone. It sounds like you might have had your heart broken, even if just a little bit. This happened to me once when I was 19 or so, and looking back, it was the best thing that could've happened.

Don't go game new girls. You won't be able to fully game them to your full potential if you haven't properly processed your emotions. Give yourself a few weeks of just being alone. Forget girls, forget pussy, just focus on your own life. Sit down and write a list of what you want out of life, what your short and long term goals are. Avoid alcohol, workout like a madman like WestCoast suggests, and just pretend girls don't exist for a few weeks, maybe even a month.

If you give your brain a chance to process your emotions properly, it ensures you don't build up any negative resentments that you might bring into further interactions with girls.

thedude, i think you hit the nail on the head. I just recently broke up with my girl of 3 years and the one thing i learned from it was that, I couldn't stand the feeling of being alone. As an only child, I was always alone, in a sense and I was always looking for that void to fill. Without actually learning how to be alone, You WILL ALWAYS be looking for someone to fill that void and this is how you return to your old beta ways.
For now, I feel like you just need to concentrate on you and your lifestyle and let your emotions settle. Then move on.

[Don Pelayo]

Sounds like my situation a few months ago.
I agree with all the posts above.

Some east european slang uses "fish" in the same way this forum uses "lizards".
There are plenty of fish in the sea. (Admit, I love this saying, very applicable)
We just gotta learn to be better and greater fishermen <><

[BIGINJAPAN]

No magic pill to to fix this right away. Takes time. If you find yourself day dreaming about her, manipulate your thoughts to the shit that bothered you about her. Start thinking about her in negative terms, that way you will be less likely to think about her at all. It is a strong NLP trick that works.

In the meantime like others have suggested get back in the game and take care of yourself. Eat right, hit the gym, get some new clothes if you have to. And of course break all contact with the ex. Most important part. Unless she has something of yours that is valuable, don't even respond to texts or calls. Trust me she will be trying to contact you just to see if you are surviving without her.

[amity]

have seen a lot of threads about oneitis recently, including this one
and it reminds me that despite my having more options now, and although it's a few years since we split up, i still have lingering oneitis over an ex of mine
we're still in touch, and there's no awkwardness or anything but although i would never countenance going out with the girl again, i still want to hit it, many times over
she spent a few years doing p0rn before she met me(never told me about it not surprisingly, but i found out by accident pretty much, after we split up)
on one level, of course that confirmed to me that she was a bad choice as a LTR but it still reminds me of the hot times with her
i know, no contact, no fap, etc is the suggested route, but f^ck me it's tough sometimes
*am pretty tired today, chances are when am better rested i'll be fine*

[Blaster]

Don't rush into anything. Just keep in mind that the longer you go without gaming new girls, the harder it will be. Focus on yourself (and your family and male friends), but start flirting and dating sooner than later. You want to keep your options open and your skills from getting rusty.

[Giovonny]

The best way to get over a girl is to start fucking a new girl!

Do you know what girls say about this...?

They say:

The best way to get over someone is to get under someone

[1bliss]

I don't want to hijack your thread but I don't want to make a new one. But the advice given in here applies to my issue as well.

I crushed HARD on one girl who was 100% interested in me. Made a thread about it earlier this week. Now she is showing disinterest (long time to reply, ends convos randomly, doesn't put in an effort to make plans work, etc.), but I'm still crushing on her hardcore (oneitis). I feel like shit and down cuz of this. I don't even feel like going out to clubs anymore but I know that's what I need, although I have no motivation or drive right now.

Stay strong OP. Shit happens, life goes on. Put a smile on and do your thing. (I gotta take this advice from myself too)

[amity]

(10-02-2012 04:48 PM)1bliss Wrote:  

I don't want to hijack your thread but I don't want to make a new one. But the advice given in here applies to my issue as well.

I crushed HARD on one girl who was 100% interested in me. Made a thread about it earlier this week. Now she is showing disinterest (long time to reply, ends convos randomly, doesn't put in an effort to make plans work, etc.), but I'm still crushing on her hardcore (oneitis). I feel like shit and down cuz of this. I don't even feel like going out to clubs anymore but I know that's what I need, although I have no motivation or drive right now.

Stay strong OP. Shit happens, life goes on. Put a smile on and do your thing. (I gotta take this advice from myself too)

i know exactly what you're saying
from a male point of view, it's hard to fathom sometimes how a woman can go from thinking you're her sun, moon and stars, to thinking of you as just some guy who she used to date
from what you've said, it sounds like she's moved on, or is at the very least considering other options, so there's probably no way back, in the short to medium term anyway (but possibly in the long term)
so yeh, best to get your mind off her if you can, if you don't feel like going out to bars and clubs then at least keep yourself busy, focus on yourself, getting in shape, eating well, and generally try and stay up and positive and social when you're out and about, all this will help

i've noticed a trend with the chick i've had oneitis issues over, she knows i have a LTR and that makes little or no difference to how she views me, BUT when she sees or hears of other women taking an interest in me, well that's when she gets in touch, starts asking me questions, asking for descriptions, etc
it's like she she knows i can do the beta provider thing already but when she sees that i might have options, she shows some interest again