[MaxRitter]

(08-04-2014 08:59 PM)ZayanZaken Wrote:  

Furthermore, I do not do comparisons; that is, I am not telling her in which ways an ex might have been better or worse (with few exceptions on the "worse" side). I can tell her that an ex was very good in something but I won't tell her that she is bad in that same department and should shape up or anything (mainly because it is stupid to ask people to change).

- oh I get that now. Yeah I also dont hide my past from her and that is why I have no problem talking to my exes if I ever see them on the street or occasionally mention to her smth like "My ex works in this shop, I ll ask her if they ever have what we want on sale" she doesnt flip out because of that. I wouldnt tolerate jealousy on her part. On the other hand in general I just dont like talking about my exes with anyone when its not neccessary. Im just not into that, dunno why. and yeah I wanna hear nothing of her past, I know she had one boyfriend before me (I had actually met the guy cause we were all inthe same city) and I know a bit about him but I want to hear nothing else. besides I believe a man can have as many women as he wants before he settles down, while a woman should be as close to a virgin as possible. therefore I would never date a girl who has multiple ex boyfriends that she constantly bumps into when we are together. Im not jealous I just dont want used goods. double standarts but thats how it is.

(08-04-2014 08:59 PM)ZayanZaken Wrote:  

But that means that you have to hide important aspects of your life from the one who is your constant mate. I have said elsewhere in a different connection--extra-LTR relationships--that I think your significant other deserves the truth. Some prefer not to be told but they still understand the fundamental premise, and guess what? When you can really share who you are with a good LTR, and she accepts you as you are, it is simply a very good feeling.

- I fully agree. If I would have been married in the past, had some tragic accident happening to me, had kids from a previous relationship, had anything worth mentioning I would have told her straight up but my biography is kinda clean, there s nothing to tell. I had a few ONS and mini relationships with a bunch of women in Germany, had some LTR and mini relationships in Russia, some were serious but I wasnt ready for marriage so they left. thats all she needs to know and all there is to know. whats the point of talking about the past when in my case there is baiscally no past? as for accepting me as who I am - she already had learned that I am not perfect prince Charming and she accepts it. overall I have simply no interest talking baout the exes (they just dont mean anything to me. I got them on facebook but I never socialize with them cause we have nothing in common). but to each his own. and yes you re right about the woman accepting you as you are as long as you are respectfull to her - a woman should know her place.

[ryansoldat]

Thanks for sharing this.

Well that what i m feeling now about being out of social road that everyone said. Like oh you are not married yet ? Oh poor him he didn t get married soon.

I just heard from my friend that his friend who's 35 already get divorced twice... both girl just wanted to stay home and waiting money fall from the sky haha this kind of state of mind i couldn t handle it...

But thing is to find a gf and not getting married forever ? Just have fun with woman until the end without any responsability ? Or bang as much girl as possible until u can ?

[iknowexactly]

(07-11-2014 02:51 PM)arribaperro Wrote:  

....which means something greater than myself, but at the same time for myself. I'm not trying to save the fuckin' manatees.
....

I want to do the manatees. Wait, that's an American girl....

[Rubio93]

(08-05-2014 12:10 AM)Suits Wrote:  

(07-28-2014 12:06 AM)Rubio93 Wrote:  

I have no interest in China, as China is a very collectivist society.

Hahahahahhahahhaahaa!

Obviously, you've never been here.

Japan, maybe. China, absolutely not.

While there is a tendency for people to feel intense obligation to keep their intruding family members happy here in China, I've actually never seen a society where just about everyone puts forth extremely effort to keep everyone but their closest friends/family a good long distance away from them.

That's xenophobia, has nothing to do with individualism vs collectivism. You're mixing terms.

China is a centrally-planned state with very limited freedoms, both socially and economically.

[ZayanZaken]

Why exactly are we discussing China in this thread?

[Rubio93]

Now, somebody convince me why, assuming one is an alpha male, one would want to give up all the freedom and opportunity in the world, and go against ONES OWN DEEPEST NATURE, for what? to "help others?" the bitchy hypergamous females everybody on the forum hates? society in general? Who the hell is that? And frankly, what is so great about our current pathetic attempt at "civilization" that it really needs saving? Are you really going to tell me that if there were no monogamy we wouldn't be able to maintain the highways and keep the lights on? What's the rationale behind that?

[BarryInSF]

You guys are confusing marriage with monogamy. The happiest alphas I know swing with their wives. It's a win-win.

[Rubio93]

I'm a swinger Barry, have been for 10 years now. You don't have to be married to live a swinger lifestyle either, you don't even need a GF necessarily

[ZayanZaken]

I don't know much about who is alpha and who is beta, but what freedom and opportunity are you giving up when you build a nest with somebody and yet you pursue other opportunities on the side whenever you want that. The key is simple: if your woman ever strays, you run the risk of raising another man's child, so you make sure that your woman does not stray. (By this I don't mean acting jealous. If you feel jealous with her you are better off finding somebody else that you can trust more.) However, if some other male is raising your child, that's much less of a problem, isn't it? So you also make sure that your woman will stay with you even though she knows that you are not a one-woman man. Perhaps some of those who are so vocal against marriage here believe the feminist hype that men who expect faithfulness must therefore have to be faithful too. That's feminist BS pure and simple. Of course, if you accept that feminist BS and therefore you consider marriage as equivalent to promising faithfulness on the man's part then you are indeed giving up freedom and go against your deepest nature by marrying. Having said all that, everywhere I mention marriage above, you can replace it by LTR. Same thing really, except there are circumstances where it is very inconvenient or even impossible to have an LTR without marriage.

[Menace]

Woman on XX reddit (trigger warning: feminist BS) complains that her bf of 4 years does not want to get married. She said he read too much reddit stuff about divorce rape and now won't do a legal marriage.

http://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/...nt_to_get/

The message be spreading..

[MaxRitter]

guys just need to relax. its funny how some of those "alphas" cant keep just one woman in line and make sure she does what she is supposed to do while you are fooling around on the side a bit but only when you feel like it (its not even neseccary) and at the same time they are willing to slave for ONS with multiple chicks, trying to understand how to game them, find some kind of "code" to women and for what? I have one main girl who satisfies my needs and when I want I can have a bit of fun with other girls but there s no way I would ever spend years learning game, learning the right kind of approach, trying to read a womans mind and so on. I mean cmon! are you kidding me? women dont evn deserve that much consideration tbh. If one day I will no longer be popular with the local chicks, Ill just remain faithfull to my gF while Im in germany and take trips to Ukraine, Argentina or Cuba in summer to have some fun. Im certainly not spending my younger years trying to solve some kind of mysterious code that opens the door to all womens hearts and then bang them... I bang lots of chicks already without any specific game skills and if some chicks turn me down I honestly dont give a fuck. women dont deserve all that hassle.

[MaxRitter]

(08-05-2014 05:36 PM)BarryInSF Wrote:  

You guys are confusing marriage with monogamy. The happiest alphas I know swing with their wives. It's a win-win.

alphas? ha to me they seem more like cuckolds. you can surely bang and swing a bit when you feel like it but she has to stay at home and take care of the household and keep her mouth shut.

[iknowexactly]

(08-06-2014 01:31 AM)MaxRitter Wrote:  

(08-05-2014 05:36 PM)BarryInSF Wrote:  

You guys are confusing marriage with monogamy. The happiest alphas I know swing with their wives. It's a win-win.

alphas? ha to me they seem more like cuckolds. ....she has to stay at home and take care of the household and keep her mouth shut.

I want to make my wife dyke in front of me. Maybe I'm not normal.

[iknowexactly]

(08-05-2014 05:39 PM)ZayanZaken Wrote:  

........
if you accept that feminist BS and therefore you consider marriage as equivalent to promising faithfulness .... you ..... go against your deepest nature by marrying. ......... there are circumstances where it is very inconvenient or even impossible to have an LTR without marriage.

+1 for perceptive distinction between marriage and monogamy.

I've thought about it a lot, and I don't want to drift between women forever, but I need to have sexual control over my mate, so double standard is the only solution. I don't mean to shove it in her face though, if she's loyal she deserves the respect of discretion.

[MaxRitter]

(08-06-2014 02:02 AM)iknowexactly Wrote:  

I want to make my wife dyke in front of me. Maybe I'm not normal.

you mean you want her to have lesbian sex with another woman? Im not an english speaker so I may not always get the slang=)

[MaxRitter]

(08-06-2014 02:06 AM)iknowexactly Wrote:  

(08-05-2014 05:39 PM)ZayanZaken Wrote:  

........
if you accept that feminist BS and therefore you consider marriage as equivalent to promising faithfulness .... you ..... go against your deepest nature by marrying. ......... there are circumstances where it is very inconvenient or even impossible to have an LTR without marriage.

+1 for perceptive distinction between marriage and monogamy.

I've thought about it a lot, and I don't want to drift between women forever, but I need to have sexual control over my mate, so double standard is the only solution. I don't mean to shove it in her face though, if she's loyal she deserves the respect of discretion.

thats exactly what Ive been saying all along. she needs to know her place, needs to accept the fact that you will always sleep around but I would avoid talking directly about it , an understanding woman will sence it herself and not bother you about it.

[ZayanZaken]

(08-06-2014 02:02 AM)iknowexactly Wrote:  

(08-06-2014 01:31 AM)MaxRitter Wrote:  

(08-05-2014 05:36 PM)BarryInSF Wrote:  

You guys are confusing marriage with monogamy. The happiest alphas I know swing with their wives. It's a win-win.

alphas? ha to me they seem more like cuckolds. ....she has to stay at home and take care of the household and keep her mouth shut.

I want to make my wife dyke in front of me. Maybe I'm not normal.

Funny you say that, I knowexactly. Your woman should be faithful because you don't want to raise another man's child. But let's talk threesomes for a moment. MMF to me is as disgusting as it gets, but MFF is great. Perhaps because I don't have much game, I have never yet succeeded to get MFF threesomes that did not involve my LTR as one of the Fs. One of those LTRs did it for me but was not into the other F, so that was good but not great. The other LTR is not far from a true bi (but femme! not butch) and MFF with her is always great. Mind you, I have never been in bed with a "butch-like" girl, so we are talking about two feminine Fs and one M. Given that my LTR can't get pregnant from the other F, and given that I am personally there when she touches another woman, I find this completely acceptable and actually hot.

[MaxRitter]

(08-06-2014 03:16 AM)ZayanZaken Wrote:  

given that I am personally there when she touches another woman, I find this completely acceptable and actually hot.

to me a faithfull woman is also about being clean and somewhat pure. I would never do any of this to a wife material girl. Ive never had any MFF or FMM but when I was in college there were moments when I had drunk sex with random girls at a friends apartment after a huge party while some other dude would be banging his Gf on the bed next to us. thats as close as I came to group sex and I am not so sure if I want to do that so badly. if opportunity arises I wouldnt mind banging two girls at the same time but I would hate to do smth so dirty to my LTR. in the end of the day she is the future mother of my children so I expect high standarts of behaviour from her. its like today you say its okay to lick another womans vagina, tomorrow before you know she`ll have another man`s dick in her mouth. I guess my opinion is differentt from the rest of the forum members but thats just how I feel.

I do a lot of stuff in bed with my girl but i prefer her to be the slut only in my bed. there simply is a certain level of modesty around other people that I require cause in the end what if we have a daughter and she ll start asking my Gf questions? I remember once me, Alina and some of the german females I know (I dont consider them my friends cause they are all dead beat feminists) were sitting at my place drinking and talking and some chick mentioned a lesbian friend she had who recently married another woman and how sweet that was. my gf was clearly disgusted and said things like"lesbians arent real they are just losers who couldnt find a man" or "a womans main goal in this life should be to please her man, be a good wife and mother. all this lesbian shmesbian BS is for girls who have nothing better to do". and guess what? I agree with her! she may seem a bit homophobic to some liberals but she knows her business. Id rather have her as the mother of my kids than some crazy american slut who likes to pretend to be "bisexual" and all that bullshit just to get some attention. girls who do group sex and "experiment" are usually rotten goods since their moral boundaries are somewhat washed out and there is no way of telling what this bitch is gonna do. I m not saying you have to marry a nun and there are ways to teach a girl how to be dirty and please you but I dont need her to have all that unneseccary experience with other men and women. a decent woman in my opinion should only have sex with someone who is really into her and a potential lTR/husband. if she has sex with multiple men and women for fun to me such a woman is garbage.

[ZayanZaken]

@MaxRitter,

On this one, we'll have to agree to disagree, which is fine, I think. But mind you, I am not talking about women who are primarily lesbian. I am talking about women who have some bi inclinations but primarily they love men.

[MaxRitter]

(08-06-2014 07:35 AM)ZayanZaken Wrote:  

@MaxRitter,

On this one, we'll have to agree to disagree, which is fine, I think. But mind you, I am not talking about women who are primarily lesbian. I am talking about women who have some bi inclinations but primarily they love men.

sure lets agree to disagree no prob)
I dunno Im probably too traditional I guess I really hate the pro LGBT shit that goes on in the western world and is pushed on us so aggresively. to me, the less of that crap I have in my family the better. plus all those chics "coming out as bisexual" while we all now they love men.. pathetic. but if you are sure in your own LTR and can have a kick out of that stuff more power to you! btw how did you manage to convert her to a MFF? what did she say and how did she feel about it? just curious

[ZayanZaken]

@MaxRitter,

There were two LTRs with whom I had MFFs. The first was with my second wife, and that was before most members of this group were born. Frankly I don't remember all the details how I sold the idea to her but I was especially active extra-maritally while married to her. Since she knew what I was doing, it was not extremely hard to tell her that I wanted her to consider doing that. She was submissive by nature, so I was not surprised that she eventually agreed. But she was trying to avoid even touching the other F, and after a couple of nights it fizzled out. The second LTR somehow found pictures of me getting a BJ from another woman and she got super horny. I suggested she should look for another F for an MFF, and she found one. That was better but not perfect either, because the other F, although her appearance and manners were very feminine, did not really enjoy being with me. (Several years later, that second LTR became my current wife -- we tied the knot for visa purposes -- but that's beside the point.) So, I am still looking for a balanced MFF, where both F's are into me and still like each other too. If it is going to be just me shared by two F's -- as was the case in the first instance -- I might as well do them in separate rooms (guess what? that happened in my past as well, for about a month). If it just going to be two women enjoying each other and no place for me, then clearly I am not interested in that. A balanced triangle is much more difficult to achieve but I did not give up on that yet. And if it happens, quite likely it will happen with that same second LTR/current wife.

[MaxRitter]

(08-06-2014 10:50 PM)ZayanZaken Wrote:  

@MaxRitter,

There were two LTRs with whom I had MFFs. The first was with my second wife, and that was before most members of this group were born. Frankly I don't remember all the details how I sold the idea to her but I was especially active extra-maritally while married to her. Since she knew what I was doing, it was not extremely hard to tell her that I wanted her to consider doing that. She was submissive by nature, so I was not surprised that she eventually agreed. But she was trying to avoid even touching the other F, and after a couple of nights it fizzled out. The second LTR somehow found pictures of me getting a BJ from another woman and she got super horny. I suggested she should look for another F for an MFF, and she found one. That was better but not perfect either, because the other F, although her appearance and manners were very feminine, did not really enjoy being with me. (Several years later, that second LTR became my current wife -- we tied the knot for visa purposes -- but that's beside the point.) So, I am still looking for a balanced MFF, where both F's are into me and still like each other too. If it is going to be just me shared by two F's -- as was the case in the first instance -- I might as well do them in separate rooms (guess what? that happened in my past as well, for about a month). If it just going to be two women enjoying each other and no place for me, then clearly I am not interested in that. A balanced triangle is much more difficult to achieve but I did not give up on that yet. And if it happens, quite likely it will happen with that same second LTR/current wife.

wow thats a pretty cool story. not sure if I wanted smth like that. I do tend to sleep around but I never mention it to the GF we kinda like to keep it "clean and pure" in our relationship. I grew up in a very happy christian home and I do not know if my dad ever cheated on my mom or what their sex life was and I dont want to know. there was always this atmosphere of perfect bliss in our house and I want to preserve it for my future kids as well. so since me and my GF are doing the whole "perfect brady bunch family thing" I want to keep our bedroom exclusively to us

but what about your first wife? Im just curious. if she was submissive, tolerated your cheating, even agreed to an MFF why did you leave her? and the second wife - where is she from and how did you meet her? how do you enjoy married life in general? you dont have to answer in detail, but since its a marriage thread it would be nice to hear some negative/positive stories

[Samseau]

(08-05-2014 09:19 PM)Menace Wrote:  

Woman on XX reddit (trigger warning: feminist BS) complains that her bf of 4 years does not want to get married. She said he read too much reddit stuff about divorce rape and now won't do a legal marriage.

http://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/...nt_to_get/

The message be spreading..

There is still a lot of "you go girlism" in that thread, of women chiming in saying they got married in their late 30's or had a kid in their 40's. It's amazing at how blind to reality most of them are.

[redbeard]

(08-07-2014 01:24 PM)Samseau Wrote:  

(08-05-2014 09:19 PM)Menace Wrote:  

Woman on XX reddit (trigger warning: feminist BS) complains that her bf of 4 years does not want to get married. She said he read too much reddit stuff about divorce rape and now won't do a legal marriage.

http://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/...nt_to_get/

The message be spreading..

There is still a lot of "you go girlism" in that thread, of women chiming in saying they got married in their late 30's or had a kid in their 40's. It's amazing at how blind to reality most of them are.

the hamster is strong in this thread.



"I work with couples pretty regularly. As mentioned in an earlier comment, seeing a therapist for pre-marriage counseling sounds like a good idea. This is a good way to work out issues before deciding to commit yourself to another for the rest of your life."

going to marriage counseling BEFORE getting married?

[incognito person]

Marriage is an example of tradeoff between freedom and security

We see this tradeoff in American society