[BostonBMW]

I am ashamed to have to create this post. For the past few months, I have been grinding hard at work, while developing some side hustles. Slowly but surely, my harem has peeled away and left me with the top girl.

She is a solid 8, been nothing but nice to me, American (warning sign, I know), definitely girly, studying to be a nurse, etc. Basically she wanted to lock it down with me, I said sure why not (with the intention of acquiring side pieces), but between getting it good (rawdogging like a fiend) and my work, I have definitely slid into that LTR zone.

Now, I know what you will say..get back out there and start approaching. I fully recognize that I need to get back in the game, but what should I do to stop this beta backslide? I mean I want this girl to be the centerpiece of the new rotation that I am developing.

So disappointed with the situation right now. Feeling like a weesh beta.

[Gmac]

Sounds like you're in the same spot as me. Enjoy the benefits of a good relationship while you can and try to keep your skills sharp. There's nothing wrong with being in an LTR as long as you don't go full on beta. That's when you lose the girl and your mojo. Sometimes you find a girl that is much harder to let go, and after sifting through dozens of women you learn to appreciate the good/quality ones. Nothing wrong with that.

[BostonBMW]

(08-19-2012 10:38 PM)Gmac Wrote:  

Sounds like you're in the same spot as me. Enjoy the benefits of a good relationship while you can and try to keep your skills sharp. There's nothing wrong with being in an LTR as long as you don't go full on beta. That's when you lose the girl and your mojo. Sometimes you find a girl that is much harder to let go, and after sifting through dozens of women you learn to appreciate the good/quality ones. Nothing wrong with that.

hmm, how often to do you see your LTR? I try to keep it 1-2 times/week. I am not in her business all the time. I do pay for dinners/drinks, but don't buy her gifts. She's been mad understanding and never complained about anything, performs like a champ in bed, and actually listens to stuff (side hustles) that I am working on -- and they are mad boring.

Having had 3-4 chicas on the rotation and being cut down to one is a problem. I'm actually bothered by this fact.

How do you maintain?

[Gmac]

(08-19-2012 10:49 PM)BostonBMW Wrote:  

(08-19-2012 10:38 PM)Gmac Wrote:  

Sounds like you're in the same spot as me. Enjoy the benefits of a good relationship while you can and try to keep your skills sharp. There's nothing wrong with being in an LTR as long as you don't go full on beta. That's when you lose the girl and your mojo. Sometimes you find a girl that is much harder to let go, and after sifting through dozens of women you learn to appreciate the good/quality ones. Nothing wrong with that.

hmm, how often to do you see your LTR? I try to keep it 1-2 times/week. I am not in her business all the time. I do pay for dinners/drinks, but don't buy her gifts. She's been mad understanding and never complained about anything, performs like a champ in bed, and actually listens to stuff (side hustles) that I am working on -- and they are mad boring.

Having had 3-4 chicas on the rotation and being cut down to one is a problem. I'm actually bothered by this fact.

How do you maintain?

Technically we started out as fuck buddies after I grabbed her number in line at a bar bathroom... then later banged her at her place during date #1. Things got more serious over time as feelings got inevitably stronger. Paying wise it's pretty much down the middle, including the occasional nice restaurant. We do fun activities together and go out and do the normal things that couples do. We are not too much in each others business but I see her 1-2 a week. We make short term plans, but nothing serious. The sex has always been great, we communicate our issues/problems/frustrations, maintain our space. She cooks (just not often enough), but our schedules are kind of out of wack.

I am down to 1-2 side FBs now (I was down to just her for a while and it bothered me too) but consider and call her my girlfriend. We get along very well and rarely fight, and as weird as it sounds even to myself I can almost see a future with her (as I continue to bang other chicks on the sly). Maybe even kids? *shudder*

You maintain by not getting rusty, letting yourself go, and pushing her to be focused/disciplined like you. If she's staying in shape, cooking for you, doing all of those things a woman really *should* be doing... if you feel you're content/happy with the relationship and after all that it's not adversely affecting you, why give it up?

Oh and I don't plan to have any sort of "move-in" situation anytime soon (if ever). Marriage is not on the table, not sure how she feels about that. I recently kicked the kink factor up in the bedroom after I explained to her that I thought it was getting too vanilla.

Was that beta?

[BostonBMW]

(08-19-2012 10:57 PM)Gmac Wrote:  

(08-19-2012 10:49 PM)BostonBMW Wrote:  

(08-19-2012 10:38 PM)Gmac Wrote:  

Sounds like you're in the same spot as me. Enjoy the benefits of a good relationship while you can and try to keep your skills sharp. There's nothing wrong with being in an LTR as long as you don't go full on beta. That's when you lose the girl and your mojo. Sometimes you find a girl that is much harder to let go, and after sifting through dozens of women you learn to appreciate the good/quality ones. Nothing wrong with that.

hmm, how often to do you see your LTR? I try to keep it 1-2 times/week. I am not in her business all the time. I do pay for dinners/drinks, but don't buy her gifts. She's been mad understanding and never complained about anything, performs like a champ in bed, and actually listens to stuff (side hustles) that I am working on -- and they are mad boring.

Having had 3-4 chicas on the rotation and being cut down to one is a problem. I'm actually bothered by this fact.

How do you maintain?

Technically we started out as fuck buddies after I grabbed her number in line at a bar bathroom... then later banged her at her place during date #1. Things got more serious over time as feelings got inevitably stronger. Paying wise it's pretty much down the middle, including the occasional nice restaurant. We are not too much in each others business but I see her 1-2 a week. We make short term plans, but nothing serious. The sex has always been great, we communicate our issues/problems/frustrations, maintain our space. She cooks (just not often enough), but our schedules are kind of out of wack.

I am down to 1-2 side FBs now (I was down to just her for a while and it bothered me too) but consider and call her my girlfriend. We get a long very well and rarely fight, and as weird and beta it sounds even to myself I can almost see a future with her (as I continue to bang other chicks on the sly). Maybe even kids? *shudder*

You maintain by not getting rusty, letting yourself go, and pushing her to be focused/disciplined like you. If she's staying in shape, cooking for you, and doing all of those things a woman really *should* be doing and it's not adversely affecting you, and you feel you're content/happy with the relationship why give it up?

Appreciate the details. Describing my situation pretty well. It started out with a night of drunken sex.

She does yoga/gym a few times a week, been solid. My issue is that I am so used to having other females in my life and I guess you can say that I can't fully trust her, even though she has given no indications, I always imagine that she *could* bang some other dudes, while I am doing my thing. So I'd rather bring others in the rotation.

Good insights.

[Gmac]

(08-19-2012 11:05 PM)BostonBMW Wrote:  

Appreciate the details. Describing my situation pretty well. It started out with a night of drunken sex.

She does yoga/gym a few times a week, been solid. My issue is that I am so used to having other females in my life and I guess you can say that I can't fully trust her, even though she has given no indications, I always imagine that she *could* bang some other dudes, while I am doing my thing. So I'd rather bring others in the rotation.

Good insights.

I guess I'm lucky in that I command a certain level of sexual loyalty in the women I date. Maybe I just pick good ones... but I think that as long as you are fulfilling certain needs (sexually, emotionally, etc.) you own her.

Or I could be completely naive but I believe I've only ever been cheated on once in a "relationship" (pre-game). I'm pretty sure I'm the only guy she has been with since we started hanging out, but there is always a little room for doubt. I trust her, and vice versa. She'll never know.

[BostonBMW]

(08-19-2012 11:09 PM)Gmac Wrote:  

(08-19-2012 11:05 PM)BostonBMW Wrote:  

Appreciate the details. Describing my situation pretty well. It started out with a night of drunken sex.

She does yoga/gym a few times a week, been solid. My issue is that I am so used to having other females in my life and I guess you can say that I can't fully trust her, even though she has given no indications, I always imagine that she *could* bang some other dudes, while I am doing my thing. So I'd rather bring others in the rotation.

Good insights.

I guess I'm lucky in that I command a certain level of sexual loyalty in the women I date. Maybe I just pick good ones... or I could be completely naive but I believe I've only ever been cheated on once in a "relationship" (pre-game). I'm pretty sure I'm the only guy she has been with since we started hanging out, but there is always a little room for doubt. I trust her, and vice versa. She'll never know.

I can say the same thing for the past few top chicas, but having options really made me sleep well at night plus being able to rotate is always a plus. Besides they'll NEVER know.

Fall semester is about to start here -- I am ready to pounce on the new college chicas.

[Samseau]

(08-19-2012 11:09 PM)Gmac Wrote:  

(08-19-2012 11:05 PM)BostonBMW Wrote:  

Appreciate the details. Describing my situation pretty well. It started out with a night of drunken sex.

She does yoga/gym a few times a week, been solid. My issue is that I am so used to having other females in my life and I guess you can say that I can't fully trust her, even though she has given no indications, I always imagine that she *could* bang some other dudes, while I am doing my thing. So I'd rather bring others in the rotation.

Good insights.

I guess I'm lucky in that I command a certain level of sexual loyalty in the women I date. Maybe I just pick good ones... but I think that as long as you are fulfilling certain needs (sexually, emotionally, etc.) you own her.

Or I could be completely naive but I believe I've only ever been cheated on once in a "relationship" (pre-game). I'm pretty sure I'm the only guy she has been with since we started hanging out, but there is always a little room for doubt. I trust her, and vice versa. She'll never know.

As long as two people in a relationship never discover each other's infidelities, what difference does it make if they cheat on each other?

[RevolutionaryCause]

The only thing a man can do to prevent a girl from cheating on you is to keep her attraction level high. With that said, you need to make sure you correct what you do wrong when you beta backslide. It doesnt mean you get paranoid everytime you think you made a "beta" move but you do want to keep in mind what you did wrong and how you could act better in the future. In LTR you have a larger margin of error for beackslides than you would on a pick up, but dont get too comfortable.

[Blaze Frazier]

A lot of good insight in here. With college back in town, you should be in a good spot, OP.

Gmac, if your girl banged some other guys, would you care?

[Gmac]

(08-20-2012 01:23 AM)Blaze Frazier Wrote:  

A lot of good insight in here. With college back in town, you should be in a good spot, OP.

Gmac, if your girl banged some other guys, would you care?

I wouldn't care IF I didn't know and would never find out. Ignorance is bliss. I basically told her that when we first started seeing each other. She's extremely committed to me today, not like your run of the mill whore.

If I found out she cheated (or got fat) though, she's gone lickity split. She knows that.

Quote:

As long as two people in a relationship never discover each other's infidelities, what difference does it make if they cheat on each other?

STD's. Truth be told I don't want anything, nor do I want to give something to my main squeeze. Moral thing. Random slores I could care less about.

[BostonBMW]

(08-20-2012 01:23 AM)Blaze Frazier Wrote:  

A lot of good insight in here. With college back in town, you should be in a good spot, OP.

Gmac, if your girl banged some other guys, would you care?

I can't wait till September


Samseau, are you still in the Bean?

http://www.collegefest.com/

[BostonBMW]

(08-20-2012 07:59 PM)Gmac Wrote:  

(08-20-2012 01:23 AM)Blaze Frazier Wrote:  

A lot of good insight in here. With college back in town, you should be in a good spot, OP.

Gmac, if your girl banged some other guys, would you care?

I wouldn't care IF I didn't know and would never find out. Ignorance is bliss. I basically told her that when we first started seeing each other. She's extremely committed to me today, not like your run of the mill whore.

If I found out she cheated (or got fat) though, she's gone lickity split. She knows that.

Quote:

As long as two people in a relationship never discover each other's infidelities, what difference does it make if they cheat on each other?

STD's. Truth be told I don't want anything, nor do I want to give something to my main squeeze. Moral thing. Random slores I could care less about.

GMAC, I'm thinking the same thing. I have been rawdogging her for some time and I would hate to be put in that spot.

Random slores can come and go -- I don't preach the mentality of abundance, I believe in the actual rotation.