Posts: 4,396
Threads: 0
Joined: Nov 2008
Reputation:
36
Does she want more than a friendship?
12-16-2009, 11:33 PM
Alright, so I have a real close girl friend (not girlfriend) that I've known for about 9 or 10 years now. She started to like me in highschool and we hooked up a couple of times but I wasn't really that into her. About a year goes by and we're into our sophmore year and we start hooking up again. This time I'm really into her, but she ends up dumping me and kinda treated me like shit. I wasn't as good with girls then as I am now. I kinda just stopped paying attention to her, but then about a year later, we become friends again and start getting real close. This was about 5 years ago, and ever since then we've been really close friends, which is all I want. She's like a little sister to me. BUT........
Whenever I meet a girl that I'm into, it seems like this chick gets all jelous. She never ever likes the girls I see. One time I was seeing an Argentine girl and she was bringing up how we used to hook up, and things that seemed really innappropriate to say in front of a girl I'm hooking up with. There have been many instances though. She NEVER likes any of my girlfriends or girls I get close to. Even if she doesn't meet them, sometimes she doesn't like them. And this all started happening about 3 years ago when I started picking up a lot more girls.
So I met a Brasilian girl I'm into down here. I keep in touch with her and plan on doing so. She's not my girlfriend, but she has priority over any other girls I meet (Until I meet a better one). I actually like her more than just for having sex with, which can be hard to find. I told this girl friend about this. Ever since then she is posting all sorts of stuff on my facebook wall like, "I miss you so much, come home. Love you!" I told her I thought the Brasilian girl might have gotten jelous because she understands, "I love you" and "I miss you" even though she doesn't speak english. My girl friend said she was sorry, but then 3 days later sent almost the same message. And then today she friend requested my Brasilian girl. My Brasialian girl told me about it, and later on in the night I was talking to the girl friend online and she had told me she friend requested my Brasilian girl. I go, "Yeah, she told me, but you won't be able to talk to her because she doesn't speak English." My girl friend replied, "That's okay, I just feel closer to you being friends with her." I definitely thought that was a little awkward. What do you guys think about this whole scenario?
Posts: 1,293
Threads: 0
Joined: Nov 2009
Reputation:
12
Does she want more than a friendship?
12-19-2009, 03:00 PM
Damn, this is complicated. But I'm sure she wants to be around in everything u do. I have a close friend like yours and I know what are u talking about. I'm not "jelows" of him, is the way around, we talk about everything, really.
But in this case, u should look closer to other signs beyound girls, e.g her behavior when u are alone or other old friends, what she says, if she reminds the "old times"...
Deixa que essa fase é passageira, amanhã será melhor você vai ver a cidade inteira seu samba saber de cor!
Posts: 349
Threads: 0
Joined: Dec 2009
Reputation:
1
Does she want more than a friendship?
12-19-2009, 04:39 PM
Question , why is this female friend still your friend? why are you still that close to her after she treated you like shit and tries to sabotage the women you are interested in? do not allow her to post on your wall nor see your friends. (select the privacy settings for her)
don't go back and sleep with her, that's a bad idea in my opinion and there are tons of other women around.
best
Posts: 70
Threads: 0
Joined: Aug 2009
Reputation:
0
Does she want more than a friendship?
12-19-2009, 07:04 PM
I hope this friendship is worth the control you are giving her over your life.
My guess is it probably isn't.
The thing with safety nets is that sometimes you get tangled in them.
Posts: 1,273
Threads: 0
Joined: Oct 2009
Does she want more than a friendship?
12-19-2009, 08:42 PM
I know she is your close friend, but she sounds like she is more trouble than she is worth to you. I would set some explicit boundaries with her. If she continues to cross those boundaries, I would let her go. She is only going to get more controlling and more manipulative as time passes.
Posts: 9,980
Threads: 0
Joined: Jul 2009
Reputation:
0
Does she want more than a friendship?
12-19-2009, 08:49 PM
"The thing with safety nets is that sometimes you get tangled in them. "
Good line. I may borrow that one.
Posts: 1,996
Threads: 0
Joined: Aug 2008
Reputation:
9
Does she want more than a friendship?
12-19-2009, 09:53 PM
Cut this girl loose dude.
Posts: 112
Threads: 0
Joined: Nov 2009
Does she want more than a friendship?
12-22-2009, 12:53 AM
i have a real close friend that is not a girlfriend.. we hook up like every few months .. mostly we gossip and bullshit and trade music tho. she gets clingy when she's not dating anyone but i just keep her distant til she gets excited about a new guy and we're friends again..
if the girls cute, eventually she'll find a guy and u can be friends again
Posts: 5,325
Threads: 0
Joined: Aug 2009
Reputation:
144
Does she want more than a friendship?
12-22-2009, 05:50 PM
Of course she wants more.
I have one of those I've kept on the backburner for almost a decade now. She's one of the sweetest Island girls I've ever met.
I also have one who I once called my girlfriend that has stuck around just as long.
The first one has never been a cockblocker but the second one pulls it out every now and then. Just be sure you keep that under control.
True friends are hard to come by these days, so don't burn any bridges.
Aloha!
Posts: 1,273
Threads: 0
Joined: Oct 2009
Does she want more than a friendship?
12-23-2009, 10:47 PM
Whenever I'm conflicted about whether or not the way a female friend is acting is acceptable or not, I always imagine what I would do if one of my guy friends did the same thing.
Only you can make the final judgement, but think about if your friend was a guy and constantly cockblocking you with girls because he wanted to hang out, and facebook friended girls you were banging/trying to bang "to feel closer to you". It'd be funny at first, but eventually I'd tell him to stop and set some boundaries. If he didn't, I'd punch him in the mouth.
If your goal is to have a friend, she should act like one, not a clinger. If your goal is to have a cool girl you can fuck once in a while, treat her as such and put her in her place.
Posts: 4,396
Threads: 0
Joined: Nov 2008
Reputation:
36
Does she want more than a friendship?
12-24-2009, 09:21 AM
The weird thing is is that she doesn't really act this way unless I'm actually seeing a girl. When I'm just having sex with random girls it's not a problem. She has mellowed out the last week or so though. She did just post something on my wall asking for my parents adress to send them a Christmas present. That was a little weird to me. And the Brazilian girl I'm seeing asked me agout the messages she had left last night. She said, "You thought I couldn't understand those, huh?" I explained to her how we were just friends and that she was saying she loved me in a friendly way. I kinda explained to her how the girl was a little crazy. My Brazilian girl is really jelous. She thought I liked the girl, but I set everything straight.
Posts: 1,273
Threads: 0
Joined: Oct 2009
Does she want more than a friendship?
12-24-2009, 09:46 AM
Quote: (12-24-2009 09:21 AM)Brandon E Wrote:
The weird thing is is that she doesn't really act this way unless I'm actually seeing a girl. When I'm just having sex with random girls it's not a problem. She has mellowed out the last week or so though. She did just post something on my wall asking for my parents adress to send them a Christmas present. That was a little weird to me. And the Brazilian girl I'm seeing asked me agout the messages she had left last night. She said, "You thought I couldn't understand those, huh?" I explained to her how we were just friends and that she was saying she loved me in a friendly way. I kinda explained to her how the girl was a little crazy. My Brazilian girl is really jelous. She thought I liked the girl, but I set everything straight.
You should have let her wonder. The sex is always better.
Posts: 475
Threads: 0
Joined: Aug 2008
Reputation:
0
Does she want more than a friendship?
12-30-2009, 11:34 AM
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
She's just playing head games with you and wants to know she has power over you. And that she sounds a bit crazy stalkerish. It sounds like you still hold a flame for this girl or you wouldn't keep her around as a "friend". Maybe you enjoy the attention/abuse at the same time. Who knows.
This is an easy one. If you're not into her anymore it's time to completely part ways. If you still want to bang her then do just that.
Posts: 19,387
Threads: 0
Joined: Aug 2008
Reputation:
413
Does she want more than a friendship?
01-08-2010, 10:36 AM
I think you're being way too nice to the lady friend. Whether she likes you or not, she's obviously making your life more difficult and it's time to lower the pimp hand for her to stay out of your affairs with other women.
