[Hotwheels]

Compared to an ex, favorably, in a denial...

Quote:

Hey, thanks for the note you sound really great... And you remind me a lot of my ex, which is nice in a way but makes me think id be terrible for you... Still have some baggage from that mess. Just wanted you to know that this is one of those it's TOTALLY not you, it's me, situations.

Good luck with this site you have a great profile!

name

While I won't post my opener, I'll say it was brief and touched on something she mentioned in her profile about cheating death 5 times in her travels.

Honestly, I have no idea where to go with this as I've never run into this before. The not you, it's me BS is something at the end of a relationship, not a response to an opener.

Obviously she's interested. Of that there is no question. I'm just not sure how to spin her up, as I usually ramble for a few messages before getting the digits.

The only thing I'm coming up with is something like "Why would you be terrible for me? You'd treat me like a king while I bang the babysitter or something?"

I kinda get the impression she got dumped and still has feelings for the ex, whom I remind her of somehow.

What do you guys think. Ideas for responses?

Being stuck like this annoys me.

[Gmac]

It means A) Yes she's hung up on a guy, B) You remind her of him which = yes she's afraid she will fuck you. Ignore the comment and plow on. If she gives you a lot of resistance afterward, forget her.

[redacted]

I don't have patience for things like this. I might put in a terse reply but frankly, I can't stand ex drama.

[plague]

somewhat related - I've noticed that I've started receiving some explicit rejections like this online also, which is totally new to me. although none of mine are as detailed as yours.

in general the pattern is "you have an awesome profile, but I don't think we are a good match". what I can't understand is why the girl bothers to write back at all. I actually asked a girl out after a sequence of ~3 messages and had her respond with "haha no". I can't tell if it's worth continuing the interaction, so I just move on to other girls.

[BortimusPrime]

(05-13-2012 01:46 PM)plague Wrote:  

somewhat related - I've noticed that I've started receiving some explicit rejections like this online also, which is totally new to me. although none of mine are as detailed as yours.

in general the pattern is "you have an awesome profile, but I don't think we are a good match". what I can't understand is why the girl bothers to write back at all. I actually asked a girl out after a sequence of ~3 messages and had her respond with "haha no". I can't tell if it's worth continuing the interaction, so I just move on to other girls.

From what I know of female psychology, normal girls are quite cowardly when it comes to awkward interactions, and will just not respond if they don't want to meet up as opposed to giving an explanation that could provoke a beta style hostile response, or even arguing with the girl's decision to reject.

The girls that do decide to reject you as if you had interviewed for a job with them or something are just getting off on the power trip of rejecting guys, and any response beyond just a vague one-word message a la roissy is going to simply reinforce in their head the assumption that you actually give a rat's ass, which is what they desperately want.

[Hotwheels]

(05-13-2012 10:03 AM)Gmac Wrote:  

It means A) Yes she's hung up on a guy, B) You remind her of him which = yes she's afraid she will fuck you. Ignore the comment and plow on. If she gives you a lot of resistance afterward, forget her.

Pretty much what I was thinking. I'll give her a pitch and see where it goes.

I'm not used to rejections online, other than no response, let alone one like that. Thanks GMAC.

[MrXY]

Having done a lot of online dating, I have ceased trying to figure out what these crazy bitches are thinking

If I get any kind of response I just plow ahead with a mixture of cocky/funny and rapport building until they either stop responding or refuse to give me their number.But I won't do more than 7 message exchanges with them-if they won't come across with a number by that time they are just attention whoring

[Hotwheels]

Ok. I just got another, this time from a broad comparing me to her ex husband of 20 years.

This one was not quite as complimentary but not bad at all.

Maybe it's a Chicago thing....

I look at it as if they respond they are interested, so fuck it. Firing off a message.

*Going from Chicago to western Iowa next week, so the pressure is on. I scoped out the talent out there already and...... ummmmm....ugh.

[el mechanico]

(05-13-2012 10:20 PM)MrXY Wrote:  

Having done a lot of online dating, I have ceased trying to figure out what these crazy bitches are thinking

If I get any kind of response I just plow ahead with a mixture of cocky/funny and rapport building until they either stop responding or refuse to give me their number.But I won't do more than 7 message exchanges with them-if they won't come across with a number by that time they are just attention whoring

I let them go flat and then send.." Think I chatted with you last time I was in here. How are you? any luck yet?" even if it was a week or so I chat them up like I just got out of a two year relationship that day.

[wsidemd]

I've met more than chick (in person and online) who signed up for online dating in response to breaking up. But it's important to find out if she's DTF or attention whoring.

[haywire]

(05-13-2012 12:48 AM)Hotwheels Wrote:  

Compared to an ex, favorably, in a denial...

Quote:

Hey, thanks for the note you sound really great... And you remind me a lot of my ex, which is nice in a way but makes me think id be terrible for you... Still have some baggage from that mess. Just wanted you to know that this is one of those it's TOTALLY not you, it's me, situations.

Good luck with this site you have a great profile!

name

Obviously she's interested. Of that there is no question. I'm just not sure how to spin her up, as I usually ramble for a few messages before getting the digits.

I actually like such quasi-rejections coz it gives a great sense of little achievement when you can turn them around with words and game; I've had success with it in about 50% of the cases. Most of the time, it's basically just another form of a shit-test. For the above response, I'd reply back with something like:

"Sorry babe, but I must say you were too quick to jump to conclusions and box me just on the basis of my profile, I'm a little too mysterious for that.." and then follow it up with a bait question.

[Hotwheels]

I like that haywire. Your response example would actually fit the second rejection even better.

Thanks for the idea. This thread was started basically to get some ideas flowing on "rejections" of this sort as I'm sure other guys get this now and then too, and some group think is always good for blowing up unusual situations.

Danke