[Aureo]

What do you do when a girl throws this bomb at you?
Especially when you've been going out with her for a while.

Saying you'll become a couple shines betaness and, well, no, a plain bad answer.

Saying you're just fuck buddies will probably close her legs faster than you can say "wait".

I think it's something about ignoring the issue, but I want to know what you guys do.

[Veloce]

Token response:
"I like you, but I just like to take things slow. I want to make sure I get to know you before things get more serious."

Continue banging.

[HiFlo]

Yeah, wow. that's a great line.

[Aureo]

That's a good one, unfortunately you can't keep using it forever. There's not too much ground to move with this ):

[gringochileno]

Can always go cocky-funny, e.g. "what, like tennis buddies?" or "better watch out sweetie, keep talking like that and you're gonna lose your #3 spot!" (need to really ham it up with the 2nd one or you'll sound like a total dick.)

Quote:

That's a good one, unfortunately you can't keep using it forever. There's not too much ground to move with this ):

That's inevitable unfortunately. Almost all girls are not willing to put up with being strung along indefinitely. Once she concludes that you will never commit she'll probably give you an ultimatum or just walk and you'll have to replace her. It's the Player Circle of Life™.

[Aureo]

You'd have to pick a very low self-esteem girl to last forever.

I gotta understand that nothing lasts forever...

Thanks chileno

[j r]

"Something more than what?"

[Aureo]

(05-01-2012 09:47 PM)j r Wrote:  

"Something more than what?"

She: "more than what we are now, I fell you're using me!" and boom you're fucked

[j r]

(05-01-2012 09:50 PM)Aureo Wrote:  

(05-01-2012 09:47 PM)j r Wrote:  

"Something more than what?"

She: "more than what we are now, I fell you're using me!" and boom you're fucked

Yeah, fucked...

The key to dealing with this kind of thing is to understand that women don't use conversations to come to decisions. Women use conversations to justify decisions that they've already made. Guys spend too much time trying to script out the perfect response to any situation when most of these situations are either shit tests or ultimatums. Either way, same response. "Oh well. Have a great life. I hope everything works out for you."

[gringochileno]

Another way you can deal with a girl asking "what are we?" type questions is by saying you don't like "labels." Tell the girl something like "People like to put all their relationships into neat little boxes but life isn't like that. Life is big and messy and wonderful and there's no way I can just slap a label on this thing we have together and say look, this label, this is what it is and that's all. It's so much more than that and I don't want to cheapen it with a simplistic label because I like you and I really enjoy the time we spend together." Complete unmitigated bullshit but we all know that girls respond to emotions, not logic. Deliver it right and it can work.

Another great one is to take the "I don't want to make promises I can't keep" angle, implying that you're too busy with your career or whatever to be in a relationship at the moment and it wouldn't be fair to her. It's particularly good because you can keep stringing her along with the promise that you'll have time "once work gets less crazy." Unfortunately, the movie Bridesmaids ruined this strategy because there's a player character in it who uses it on the main character, and lots of people have seen that movie.

[astro]

"Maybe"

[Timoteo]

You have to remember, with women, regardless of what you're doing, they feel the need to hear the words. They're big on "titles." A lot of it is about how you're identifying her to OTHERS, and she wants to be able to define you as her boyfriend to HER circle.

I guy I used to hang with many years ago got busted by his girl on the phone describing her as "the girl I'm dating." They were already a couple of years in, and that's how he referred to her to someone else. They had a nice argument over that one. But she was one of those smart, accomplished chicks with low self-esteem, so she swallowed it. In the over three years they were together, he introduced her to very few people as his girlfriend. In fact, there were a lot of acquaintances in our circle that had NO idea he had a girlfriend. And he did it by design. He promoted parties, and he had his girl working the door collecting his money, and he'd be in the bathroom of the spot getting his dick sucked by other chicks. They had NO idea that his girlfriend was the one that took their money at the door. It was masterful the way he worked her. He cheated rampantly, and she either didn't have a clue, or may have suspected but didn't want to press the issue because she knew he wouldn't hesitate to bounce. We weren't tight anymore by the time they broke up, so I don't know why it happened, but through other friends I found out she had a new boyfriend at some point.

[Sourcecode]

Like the dude said.

Tell her you like her. Tell her she does mean something to you.
Keep going.

Then take what Gringo says. Accept that she will walk away eventually..And you should find a new girl.

Every girl I've been with in the last couple months does this.
We meet up every couple days for a fuck..but when they realize I make no attempt to take them out on dates that don't end up in a bang and me leaving shortly...They realize Im not trying to commit and break it off.

[redacted]

"i'm happy with the way things are right now"

you need no more

[HiFlo]

I'd like to add a question to OP: what happens if the girl starts asking you to take her out when you've been fuck buddies for awhile - "hey, wanna take me to the movies?" "do u wanna go to the mall with me?"

It's a little more devious than the "are we going to be more" since she's throwing out suggestions on real dates that she'd like you to take you on in order to 'be something more.'

How do you parry these suggestions?

[Veloce]

Eventually you will always come to a fork in the road with girls, where they decide they want something more from you.

I've seen girls choose both routes in the fork, but these days I always stand my ground. Girl decides she needs more from me? I feed her a few lines like the one above, and if she buys it, great. We keep seeing each other. This happens in the vast majority of the time. Even when girls "put their foot down" you'd be surprised how often they're just bluffing. Generally when you put *your* foot down and refuse to budge it increases their attraction to you.

On rare occasion a girl tries this shit and isn't satisfied with my answer. It's not "committed" enough and she walks. So I let her.

There's not much in between here, or some magic answer. You're right that leading girls on only lasts so long until they want a major commitment like moving in together. At that point you just have to decide what you want and let her know.

[Parlay44]

(05-01-2012 09:50 PM)Aureo Wrote:  

(05-01-2012 09:47 PM)j r Wrote:  

"Something more than what?"

She: "more than what we are now, I fell you're using me!" and boom you're fucked

"It wouldn't work out"

It tells her that you really want something long term but she's not good enough for you.
They love that one.

[Aureo]

Excellent answers everyone, thanks for the feedback

[Caligula]

Appeal to feelings. "I really like what we have, being around you feels great. Let's just take it one day at a time and see what happens."

[WesternCancer]

I like the earnest/connecting to her emotions approach. Me on the other hand I go straight up cocky/funny/asshole.

Tonight I had a girl at my parents' place (I'm here for a few days) -- one of my regulars. We watched a lame movie and I made pseudo-game commentary on the main dude's betatude. The guy finally made one move that was good he told the girl to go fuck herself and that hes going to live his own life (in a non needy way). She squealed in delight when I commended the main character for his effort.

Anyways after the movie we go at it. She stops for a bit and asks if I ever had my ex-girlfriend over at my place (to see how open my parents were to banging or something). I said "oh yeah tons, they usually make them pancakes in the morning and get along great" she hits me playfully and says "well I guess its your life..." Trying to say that I'm free to do what I want. Girl-speak for "I really want commitment out of you, but I won't outright ask because I'm scared of losing you". I cut her off at "its your life" and proceeded to sing its my life by bon jovi. She was blowing me a few minutes later. Unfortunately my mom interrupted us because the cookies she was baking for us were done. If you must know the cookies were very delicious.

[Amour Fou]

In my view, when they are coming with that crap is about time to cut them loose.

[20th Level]

If you are trying to keep a girl around as just a fuck buddy you need to make it look like you always have things like school or business ventures or other super important stuff going on in your life.

Resist the temptation to bang her every day of the week. When she inevitably pops the "commitment" question say " I'm a long way away from a serious relationship, I've got so much stuff going on right now."

Now here's the kicker. If she's not a psycho she'll say she understands. THIS IS WHEN YOU NEED TO GO SUPER TURBO ON HER. Start flirting more when you text and fuck her like its your last meal the next time you hit it. Don't do anything stupid like buying shit or big nights out, simply ramp up the sex-o-meter every time you interact with her.

If you play your cards right you should be able to keep her coming around for a significantly longer amount of time before she gets wise to your ass.

[Aureo]

(05-04-2012 01:24 AM)WesternCancer Wrote:  

I like the earnest/connecting to her emotions approach. Me on the other hand I go straight up cocky/funny/asshole.

Tonight I had a girl at my parents' place (I'm here for a few days) -- one of my regulars. We watched a lame movie and I made pseudo-game commentary on the main dude's betatude. The guy finally made one move that was good he told the girl to go fuck herself and that hes going to live his own life (in a non needy way). She squealed in delight when I commended the main character for his effort.

Anyways after the movie we go at it. She stops for a bit and asks if I ever had my ex-girlfriend over at my place (to see how open my parents were to banging or something). I said "oh yeah tons, they usually make them pancakes in the morning and get along great" she hits me playfully and says "well I guess its your life..." Trying to say that I'm free to do what I want. Girl-speak for "I really want commitment out of you, but I won't outright ask because I'm scared of losing you". I cut her off at "its your life" and proceeded to sing its my life by bon jovi. She was blowing me a few minutes later. Unfortunately my mom interrupted us because the cookies she was baking for us were done. If you must know the cookies were very delicious.

Those moves keep the ball rolling for a while, actually this is one of the best answers here, but it can't work forever.

You see, I had the idea for this thread while reading one of Roissy's last post. https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2012/05/...tful-girl/
Eventually the girl needs a connection rather than just being gamed out of her mind. I'm sure the bestest (nice word hah) answer for this is somewhat alike to what you posted, and what Roissy proposes in that post.

The key lies in not displaying the need to please her, just like you did, while at the same time not hurting her feelings so deep that she can't keep blowing you

[WesternCancer]

I agree with you and just read that heartiste post. I think you really need to judge whether she can take being strung along any further or if you need to show some sort of emotional connection to keep her around. From what I've read a lot of guys will see an instance where asshole game works and then use nothing but that, you have to be dynamic to keep a girl around. She will get fed up with an asshole just like she will get fed up with a nice guy, the trick is to read between the lines, figure out what she wants at the time and relate that to what your end goal is with the interaction.

Me. I like spending time with the girl I did that too, I bring her along to do the interesting things that I do. I'll do stuff like that to set her straight or if I sense I'm being too normal. Keeps her guessing, keeps the legs open and keeps her around for me to get what I want out of her.

[Parlay44]