[Knowledge Seeker]

There's always a point where a relationship doesn't end up the way the girl is expecting.. When this happens, she starts to stray and begins to find someone who she thinks WON'T neglect her needs.

Is the nice guy approach always the best way to get in the pants of a girl who is being emotional in a relationship? This is the most vulnerable state a girl can be and in they seem to be susceptible to bullshit you throw at them. I feel as if the best thing you can do is agree with every complaint they spew at you. They end up spilling their guts out about every problem they have with the poor guy and this is your way in the door.

For example:

Her: My boyfriend is such an asshole. He spends more time with cars than me.
Me: Yeah, that's fucked up. I feel you should always commit your time to your significant other when you're in a relationship.

Her: He thinks I nag all the time when I really just want more attention from him.
Me: I hear you. Girls just want their man to listen, it's really not that hard.

Her: I hate how he never does anything for me. I asked him for flowers for a month straight and he didn't even get me any. I cook for him all the time, that's the least he could do.
Me: Wow, if I had a girlfriend like that, she wouldn't even need to ask for flowers. I would just surprise her randomly when I come home from work.

Using this approach, I've noticed the girl tends to fall under your spell a little further. It makes it easier to transition into the next phase: isolating her. After you've created the illusion of comfort, it's time to let her stray on her own.

"Hey listen, I know you're feeling down but you should come have a drink with me at the bar. I'll help you get your mind off things."

Am I approaching the game right when it comes to these types of situations? Normally the asshole game works but it's not as effective when the girl is extremely emotional, mopey, or depressed.

Does anyone have any comments or suggestions to this?

[Stitch]

Caaaaareful.

This smacks a bit of white knighting/beta behaviour, which is a good way to get you in the friend zone fast and really get to hear lots and lots more about said boyfriend over the coming months.

Now, having said that, you can be, hm, best term I can think of is "alpha gentleman", as it were, but you won't pull that off by explaining your behaviour; you get there by just doing it as if it was natural and there was no other choice; that's really a different subject but I've found it can work nicely (the difference, say, between saying "oh, but I think men should always open the door for women" and opening the door for her in a confident, non-bow-and-scrape way).

But that's really a different subject. Here, there's no problem engaging her with these items, but you'll probably get a better response if you can make it playful, ie

Her: He thinks I nag all the time when I really just want more attention from him.
You: I totally agree; men should... wait, sorry, what did you say again?

You're going for a sort of "slight giggle, "you jerk!", punch-in-the-shoulder vibe, so that internally/unconsciously she's thinking "wow, when I'm with my boyfriend I'm always tense, and this guy is fun and easy to be around." You don't want "wow, when I'm with my boyfriend I'm emotionally excited even if it's negative, but it's okay because I can always come to Knowledge Seeker and just unload."

IMHO only, but I think it would get you better results. All things context-dependent, of course.

[Joseph_Dantes]

Her agenda is driving her to cheat, and she's craving beta energy. Feed her both the cock and the beta she craves. Your escalation (including maneuvering her into isolation) will be sufficiently alpha. And you won't have to be her beta chump, because she's already got one.

As Narciso Babaero says, 3/5 beta/alpha ratio is the right balance. Getting her to cheat is a whole lotta alpha. Don't be ashamed to balance that out.

[Joseph_Dantes]

Snitch is wrong. These girls are upset and craving connection. Over-alphaing like you're teasing through a bitch-shield is just wrong.

This is a dark, dark, evil thing to do, so get evil with it and really juice the girl with the "connection" she's craving. You're in the evil pact with her together. So intone the blasphemous words and carve into her boyfriend's succulent heart. And admire the way she maintains the plausible deniability of her vag's black intention while his blood dribbles down her chin.

The potential problem (that I don't think the OP has) is if your escalation isn't congruent and continuous. Then you suddenly pop a boner out of friend-zone, and she rejects you in horror.

Also, there's a balance to strike between becoming her understanding-alpha "connection" fix and becoming a torrid intense emotional affair that causes her to leave her partner. That's more down to availability.

[Knowledge Seeker]

(04-27-2012 11:50 PM)Stitch Wrote:  

Caaaaareful.

This smacks a bit of white knighting/beta behaviour, which is a good way to get you in the friend zone fast and really get to hear lots and lots more about said boyfriend over the coming months.

Now, having said that, you can be, hm, best term I can think of is "alpha gentleman", as it were, but you won't pull that off by explaining your behaviour; you get there by just doing it as if it was natural and there was no other choice; that's really a different subject but I've found it can work nicely (the difference, say, between saying "oh, but I think men should always open the door for women" and opening the door for her in a confident, non-bow-and-scrape way).

But that's really a different subject. Here, there's no problem engaging her with these items, but you'll probably get a better response if you can make it playful, ie

Her: He thinks I nag all the time when I really just want more attention from him.
You: I totally agree; men should... wait, sorry, what did you say again?

You're going for a sort of "slight giggle, "you jerk!", punch-in-the-shoulder vibe, so that internally/unconsciously she's thinking "wow, when I'm with my boyfriend I'm always tense, and this guy is fun and easy to be around." You don't want "wow, when I'm with my boyfriend I'm emotionally excited even if it's negative, but it's okay because I can always come to Knowledge Seeker and just unload."

IMHO only, but I think it would get you better results. All things context-dependent, of course.

Good input, makes sense. Just gotta find the balance.

[Stitch]

Quote:

These girls are upset and craving connection. Over-alphaing like you're teasing through a bitch-shield is just wrong.

This is a dark, dark, evil thing to do, so get evil with it and really juice the girl with the "connection" she's craving.

I'm not saying don't go for a connection or over-alpha, because that can drive her away; you're absolutely right. I'm also not saying you can't express sympathy, because you do want that to an extent.

BUT--if you express sympathy and then stay in that frame, you become an emotional dumping ground, not a potentially appealing sexual partner. Take the sympathy and then turn the interaction around so that being with you is a fun appealing release. If you're sitting around listening to her talk about her boyfriend, is she thinking of getting naked with you? Hell no, she's thinking about her boyfriend, which is why she's continuing to talk about him. And you're letting her.

/shrug--I just happen to disagree with Joseph_Dantes, which is fine. In many cases, you really are a better choice for the woman than the guy she's complaining about at length, so it may not even be that evil. As I said, it's context-dependent.

[Veloce]

Can't disagree more here. I saw this scenario far too often when I was young.

Let's create some universal absolutes:

-You hang out with this girl because you hope to fuck her. You don't REALLY give a shit about her love life, her happiness or her well-being.

-When you hang out with her and she brings up her boyfriend, you pretend she said, "My, these clouds are pretty today."

-You game her like any other bitch.

The reason you perceive this girl as mopey or depressed is because she's that way around YOU. Guarantee you when her bf is plowing her she's begging for that dick to drive as deep as it can go, and she's just using YOU as an emotional pincushion because her bf doesn't give her any emotional connection (and rightfully so)

Don't be alpha gentleman. Don't be anything gentleman, christ. Make the switch immediately if you have any hope. When you two are hanging out and she's laying on some emotional BS, completely ignore her and talk about your plans to move to Europe over the summer while you take a swig from a flask of bourbon. Read the chapter in Bang about how to game girls with bfs, and stop this beta mindfuck nonsense.

[Joseph_Dantes]

Yeah, if the relationship isn't that solid, and most aren't, then you don't need to be anything.

Also, I should've said stitch, not snitch. Wasn't trying to be a... bitch.

Being the beta sop is definitely bad, but there's a dark way to escalate while feeding her much needed beta energy, if that's your primary vulnerability wedge into the relationship.

You only need to do this if the boyfriend is genuinely alpha enough to counter you, and the beta "connection" is the weak point.

[Stitch]

Yeah, depends heavily. When I read the OP, I was reading just the guy/girl interactions and assuming this was a stable girl bitching about her boyfriend, in which case redirecting attention from the boyfriend and attaching it to you by demonstrating you're the better man isn't bad (similar to the current girl I have). If she's seriously depressed/emotional, then yes, try harder for the "connection", but I still wouldn't go too "beta" (hate the term) or the mildly craven-sounding approach of "but... but... see, *I* do those things!" (this incidentally is part of how I lost my wife after she went insane, trying to go for the "connection", which ultimately just lost her respect for me--and mine for me as well).

KS's initial "Hey listen, I know you're feeling down but you should come have a drink with me at the bar. I'll help you get your mind off things." is a great middle ground, imho.