[Arcais]

Oneitis.

You don't have to read this I just need to get this off my chest

I met this girl about 3 years ago from my Dad's work when I went in to see my Dad.

She was a veterinarian technician and was 22 at the time. I was 19.

We dated for a few months and broke up. I almost killed myself when we broke up.

We got back together over the summer very briefly and I broke it off because I felt like she was cheating on me.

Then last year I slept with her like a ONS - she just came over, brought me beer, we fucked and she bounced. I haven't slept with her in a year.

She told me she loved me multiple times throughout our relationship but I feel like shit because I blew it with this girl.

She is a blonde girl with amazing blue-yellow eyes, has some tattoos, and a really hot body. About 5'4' 130 lbs. She's a swimmer and is really intelligent.

I'm 22 now and she's about to turn 25.

I've thought about this girl everyday for 3 years and it gets worse the longer I go without sex. I really need to sleep with other girls otherwise she haunts me.

She was the 4th girl I ever slept with. (I've slept with 14 girls).

I texted her today to get a letter of character from her Dad who is a cop.

I've been feeling like shit lately, and texting her today just compounded it.

She replied, "I really don't want to talk to you".

Which was when I broke down and just fucking bawled.

I've really failed a lot in life.

I've failed with women and I've failed career wise.

I know that these things aren't permanent but I need to get back up on the upward spiral when I was doing really well in life.

I'm facing a few felonies and my lawyer said I might have to go to jail for 10 years.

I'm just so sad and none of my friends really can see that I'm hurt.

I stay really positive around other people and make them laugh but I feel like I just can't take life anymore.

I feel so soul-destroyed and broken as an individual.

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

I'm sorry for your situation, although I can't comment on that girl because I don't know what had happened the first time. Still, you must accept that the average girl gets over oneitis faster than the average guy. You've slept with 10 more women since meeting her, so you are doing well. Surely some of those would like to be with you as well and would treat you better?

But if you're seriously facing felonies that might put you into jail for 10 years, I think you shouldn't be worrying about girls of oneitis at all! I've been reading your post and when I read that line it was like an a-bomb exploding in my face.

[SharkJordan]

Woman are like city buses, another 1 comes around every 15 minutes. You'll get over this girl just try stay positive

[durangotang]

Keep on keepin' on. I understand, life can be difficult sometimes. You probably won't serve that much time for your felonies and oneitis is a problem that we all have to deal with at one point in our life or another.

I don't think that people are presented with problems they can't handle if they choose to, so that must mean you are person who can handle quit a bit. A cliche quote, but true: it's not how many times you fall that matter, it's how many times you get back up.

You can turn things around.

[Walnuts]

I had a talk with my father last week. i was feeling pretty down about uni and the pressure and fear of failure was hitting me hard. i study a hard major (mech-eng). i feel exactly how you feel sometimes. the feeling of being alone and the weight of all your problems on your shoulders but no-one can see what you're going through, and you don't feel like you can tell anyone. you just carry this load throughout your daily life and act happy when you interact with people. the lie carries on until one day it feels unbearable.

i told my father how i felt out of desperation and he actually took time to set me straight. usually he'd tell me to stop acting like a bitch and stop worrying. but i think he saw that i was breaking inside.

he told me; if something is making you unhappy, fuck it. you don't owe anyone anything. don't do anything in life to please others if it means making yourself miserable.Even your parents. because its your life, and your the most important person in your own life.
Parents will always bitch and moan however well you do. you could invent perfect cold fusion and they'd still find something to be pissy about.

if you're stressing yourself out about that girl, i think its not so much the girl, but other underlying causes of depression and emptiness that are making you project her as the cause of sadness. focus on other things that you want to do, fill your life with the things you want to do. with your potential jail time i know that could be difficult. I'm sorry to say i can't offer any helpful advice on that front. maybe another member can.

i hope you take this advice into consideration. it made a real impact on me. i hope it can do the same for you.

[tjames]

Chin up bud. I had oneitis with a girl for 3 years, we had everything in common and we'd stay up until 2am talking even on weekends just me and her. But she had a boyfriend and I was just a platonic friend. Out of nowhere she ends our friendship after 6 months of ignoring me. I was crushed to say the least. I moved on though, and she's not even my type now. Maybe cos I changed a lot.

Anyways, I always tell myself there are hotter girls than the one who just flaked on me or rejected me. Hotter girls that I will be boning soon enough. Always gets me back on the horse.

[Screwston]

Keep your head up Arcais. Remember that feeling sorry for yourself will NEVER do you any good player. Take a deep breath, do whatever you do to calm yourself down, and get your head back on straight.

Once upon a time Houston had his heart broken...I still remember crying myself to sleep. I knew that was the last time I would ever let a girl do that to me and that this lifestyle was going to be forever. I like what Handsome Creepy Eel said "Still, you must accept that the average girl gets over oneitis faster than the average guy.". You have to always remember that a girl will fuck you over so fast without any feelings of remorse. Some guys never learn this and go through what you're experiencing over and over and over.

[ElJefe]

She sounds fat.

Anyways, take that negative energy and channel it into something else, like exercise (weight lifting is great beacuse progress is so visible). Once you feel like you're developing independently, you'll not only KNOW but also FEEL you can get by on your own.

Your major problem is not that you messed up, have oneitis or any of that shit. Your problem is that you are outcome dependent especially wrt this girl. You have made her the solution to all your other problems. She's not, I assure you. A bitch will and cannot fix your life for you and if you try it'll blow up in your face.

Go to work on yourself. She's not important to who you are. You are not part of her, she is not part of you. You need to grab your balls, realize you're ultimate goal is to become an independent, self-reliant ADULT. The only way to do that is to grow. And when you DO start to grow, you'll begin to realize your growth is organic and you do not owe credit for it to anyone else except yourself.

[R Smoov]

This girl in my class that I talk to regularly turned into a sweet little friend to a cold little bitch. And it was weird man! Like before her little nerdy boyfriend she was cool, but like for some reason she got super bitchy for no reason. She went from asking me whenever we were going to eat at the cafe to just randomly telling me to shut the fuck up. So I just decided to and just stop speaking to her. I don't care if she comes back to class apologizing for being a bitch or anything like that. She fucked up, not me.

When people start giving you their ass, the first thing you have to do is think as to why you are better without them. Always repeat in your head "fuck that kid, fuck that kid". Write on a piece of paper with her name on it rip it up, do anything that will make your mind say "fuck you" from that chick. And eventually, you'll understand that the bitch who fucked you over isn't nothing but shit anyways.

And as for the jail sentence man, I really hope you come out okay. The law is really crazy out there. If anything, try to see if you can get a lighter sentence?

But about that jail sentence bro, I'd make sure you get that figured out first man.