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My First Attempt
04-08-2012, 02:05 PM
Okay guys you may have seen me around on the forum but just to start off I'm Zee the 20 year old from So Cal OC. Anyways I'm just super stoked about this so I wanted to post my story! Maybe get some opinions and advice on how to have finished this if you want to help me out. Alright so yesterday I went to a local outdoor mall for about 3 hours, mind you I have never even attempted done an approach especially one where the girls are just walking around in a mall. The prospect was terrifying to me but I went with my friend Diamond who is also a member on this forum. We walked around for the first hour scoping out multiple sets of 2 and 3 trying to work up the courage to say something. I wore a really bright tie-die shirt thats pretty much straight out of the 70's. This was so I'd have a conversation starter to use. So after attempting to walk towards sets and chickening out of multiple approaches I finally decided to give myself a 30 minute time limit to make my first approach. Diamond and I sat right near the entrance to the mall because that is where a lot of HBs were coming in. 3 minutes before my 30 were up this 9 comes walking toward us. This is how the conversation went
ME: Excuse me!
HER: *smiling* Yes?
ME: Do you think this shirt looks gay? My buddy here keeps giving me shit about it
HER: *laughing* Nooo not at all you look great!
ME: *smiling* thanks!
She lingered for a bit longer and then took off toward the direction she was heading. I know its pretty anti-climactic but it was a huge step towards getting more confidence with talking to girls. I was really pumped about it and I'd love some tips on how I could have kept the convo going longer. I was so excited that she actually smiled at what I was saying that I forgot to keep it going and she left. If you guys have any advice please give it thanks for taking the time to read my story =]
Don't give them what they expect, and you'll get from them what you never expected.
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My First Attempt
04-08-2012, 02:29 PM
Quote: (04-08-2012 02:05 PM)Zee Wrote:
Okay guys you may have seen me around on the forum but just to start off I'm Zee the 20 year old from So Cal OC. Anyways I'm just super stoked about this so I wanted to post my story! Maybe get some opinions and advice on how to have finished this if you want to help me out. Alright so yesterday I went to a local outdoor mall for about 3 hours, mind you I have never even attempted done an approach especially one where the girls are just walking around in a mall. The prospect was terrifying to me but I went with my friend Diamond who is also a member on this forum. We walked around for the first hour scoping out multiple sets of 2 and 3 trying to work up the courage to say something. I wore a really bright tie-die shirt thats pretty much straight out of the 70's. This was so I'd have a conversation starter to use. So after attempting to walk towards sets and chickening out of multiple approaches I finally decided to give myself a 30 minute time limit to make my first approach. Diamond and I sat right near the entrance to the mall because that is where a lot of HBs were coming in. 3 minutes before my 30 were up this 9 comes walking toward us. This is how the conversation went
ME: Excuse me!
HER: *smiling* Yes?
ME: Do you think this shirt looks gay? My buddy here keeps giving me shit about it
HER: *laughing* Nooo not at all you look great!
ME: *smiling* thanks!
She lingered for a bit longer and then took off toward the direction she was heading. I know its pretty anti-climactic but it was a huge step towards getting more confidence with talking to girls. I was really pumped about it and I'd love some tips on how I could have kept the convo going longer. I was so excited that she actually smiled at what I was saying that I forgot to keep it going and she left. If you guys have any advice please give it thanks for taking the time to read my story =]
Good job,
Your main upside is that your young and hungry. Use that energy to gain a new skill.
I could teach you what to say and how to say. But it won't work. Without confidence and experience. This method of training takes to long and is a waste of time.
If you really want to learn how to talk to girls. You need to improve your confidence, tone of voice, body language, and convo skills.
My advice is to take acting classes and toastmaster.
The best communicators and most charming men are actors. E.G. George Cloney, Matt Damon, Al Pacino, Jack Nicholson. etc.
It looks like you live in Cali. Try to take some acting class at your local community college or University. Or you can attend a private acting school. Search the web.
Your life is up to you. No one can change you. Its up to you to transform your life.
By gaining new skill and upgrading your communication is more powerful than any stupid pickup line or convo.
My best opener, is hey my name is Jerome.
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My First Attempt
04-08-2012, 09:09 PM
Have you read Bang and Day Bang, those are the best two places to start. Obviously, the reading and learning in that aspect is half the battle, you got to get out in the trenches and approach. Day Bang has great tips on starting/keeping conversations going, just remember to escalate. You're intention is to take the interaction as far as it can go, which during the day will probably be a phone number, or if you're lucky an insta-date.
At your age and inexperience, you're going to be making baby steps, start off by doing approaches, then numbers, then make-outs, dates, sex, etc. One step at a time, sometimes progress will be slow, just stick with it, and within time, you'll be golden.
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My First Attempt
04-08-2012, 09:48 PM
Hey, welcome to the forum Zee. Glad you've taken the first step and approached a girl.
My advice for a complete beginner would be to talk to EVERYONE you encounter especially in lines, supermarkets, school, the bus whatever. It'll help you with conversation skills and the like.
- Create some kind of identity for yourself with the use of style, the way you talk etc.
- Hit the gym, many guys here would suggest starting strength, pack on some muscle and the confidence will follow.
- Read everything you can about everything that interests you. Pickup obviously seems to be one. I'd suggest: Bang/Day Bang, The mystery Method (to understand how this stuff came to be, a lot is outdated), Roosh's blog, Heartiste's blog, and all of the blogs they link to.
If you have any questions feel free to ask if you cant find it on the search feature.
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My First Attempt
04-08-2012, 09:51 PM
Good first step.
So what are you going to do differently or keep the same next time to keep the convo running? How are you gonna segue your ramble to the next step? What is the next step anyway?
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My First Attempt
04-09-2012, 12:34 AM
from one beginner to another, id say talk to anyone anywhere that you are. its all practice IMO.
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My First Attempt
04-09-2012, 04:36 PM
Quote: (04-08-2012 09:48 PM)WesternCancer Wrote:
Hey, welcome to the forum Zee. Glad you've taken the first step and approached a girl.
My advice for a complete beginner would be to talk to EVERYONE you encounter especially in lines, supermarkets, school, the bus whatever. It'll help you with conversation skills and the like.
- Create some kind of identity for yourself with the use of style, the way you talk etc.
- Hit the gym, many guys here would suggest starting strength, pack on some muscle and the confidence will follow.
- Read everything you can about everything that interests you. Pickup obviously seems to be one. I'd suggest: Bang/Day Bang, The mystery Method (to understand how this stuff came to be, a lot is outdated), Roosh's blog, Heartiste's blog, and all of the blogs they link to.
If you have any questions feel free to ask if you cant find it on the search feature.
Thank you so much for this advice, I'll do all of those things so far I'm reading a lot of books. When you say talk to EVERYONE, what exactly do I say to like random people?
Don't give them what they expect, and you'll get from them what you never expected.
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My First Attempt
04-09-2012, 05:51 PM
Quote: (04-09-2012 04:37 PM)ABDada Wrote:
Usually means just that: talk to everyone, even people who are paid to talk to you. Walk into a store and someone asks if they can help you? Talk to them.
Wandering around downtown in a busy retail district? Ask for directions.
Walking past some restaurants? Walk in and ask the hostess what's good there.
Just get comfortable talking -- doesn't have to be hot gals, but talk until it's second nature.
Great, I'll try that out ASAP it sounds like this could really help me get past my fear of confronting people, I'm halfway there =]
Don't give them what they expect, and you'll get from them what you never expected.
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My First Attempt
04-09-2012, 06:35 PM
Hahaha great stuff. Got a good laugh but great job building confidence. You did what you wanted but next time set the bar higher. Try 2-3 attempts in the mall. The clothes don't matter as much as the conversation but great use of a 'prop'.
Maybe next time say something like, would you buy it for your brother/dad or something to provoke her to go with you into a store and buy something else. Work on keeping the conversation going long and next time you get a solid IOI like you did, give one back. Its just a game so make it fun
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My First Attempt
04-10-2012, 10:38 AM
Quote: (04-09-2012 06:35 PM)-g- Wrote:
Hahaha great stuff. Got a good laugh but great job building confidence. You did what you wanted but next time set the bar higher. Try 2-3 attempts in the mall. The clothes don't matter as much as the conversation but great use of a 'prop'.
Maybe next time say something like, would you buy it for your brother/dad or something to provoke her to go with you into a store and buy something else. Work on keeping the conversation going long and next time you get a solid IOI like you did, give one back. Its just a game so make it fun
Awesome, I'll definitely try setting the bar higher and keep the convo going. That idea is really good to try and get her to go to the store with me! I'll post another when I make a larger accomplishment haha I was just stoked I actually did it.
Don't give them what they expect, and you'll get from them what you never expected.
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My First Attempt
06-14-2012, 01:42 PM
I did my first approach around this time last year. Thought I'd share.
I didn't know a fucking thing about talking to strange women and had no idea what RVF was. I was terrified about looking like a loser, making myself/the girl feel awkward, saying something dumb, etc. But I knew I'd be doing alot of beating off for the rest of my life if I never gave it a shot.
I talked myself into performing the boldest approach I could think of all day at work. On my way home (DC metro at rush hour) I picked my target: a gorgeous, tall blonde. Probably a solid 8 and definitely the hottest girl on my train. As I had planned, I took out a sticky note I made at work with my name and number on it. When I saw her getting up to get off, I stopped her in front of the crowded train.
"Excuse me, this is for you."
"Thanks! Oh wait, no, that's not mine, I didn't drop anything."
"ehhhh...no, I mean this is for you."
"Oh. Um, thanks."
She continues walking to the train door, but doesn't get off. It wasn't her stop yet. Her face was glued three inches from the train door to ensure there was 0% chance she would have to look me in the face again. No one laughed at me, but I felt their eyes and heard a whisper or two. Ouch.
However, once she finally got off the train, I laughed to myself and gave myself a pat on the back. I looked around again, no one even paid me any attention. Hey, that wasn't so bad. And it made me feel like a man.
This outcome was pretty harsh, but I didn't get blown out, yelled at, or slapped. It's nowhere near the absolute worst outcome that Roosh explains in the first chapter of Bang. I've made HUGE progress since then, but I would never had been able to if I didn't have this very temporary ego-bruising failure.
Fuck approach anxiety. If you want it bad enough, you can force yourself to talk to anyone, anytime. Even the failures feel make you feel good, so don't waste time.
Good work OP. Keep it up. And other newbs reading this - no excuses. Just go get it!
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My First Attempt
06-15-2012, 12:26 AM
Lol I remember when I started too, i still have a long ways to go, but I remember approaching this girl on the bus. I got off at her stop and walked behind her a little bit (kind of creeper styles), I tapped her on the back, lol not the best move and I straight up asked her out like in the movies "hi will you go out with me?" she said she had a boyfriend but smiled back. I thought I completely creeped her out but I'm not an average looking guy.
Turned out she really did have a boyfriend and broke up with him a few weeks after. I always saw her on the bus, we actually started talking, she would approach me, I would approach her, anyway we had a pretty good vibe, though I was a noob. I had the chance of making something more but I screwed it by becoming needy. Long story short, even though I initially got rejected, I felt proud I even had the balls to do it.
The only thing I can say is that do not get discouraged if you get rejected. It will happen unless you know Jedi mind tricks or can shape shift into a celebrity, just keep going. Think of it like scars, every time you get wounded/ rejected, the wound will be replaced by a scar, you will build a tough exterior and fuck with girls on purpose for the fun of it.
Last thing, try going on a train and getting up off your seat and giving a girl a compliment/ make a general comment on her and then sit back down. This might help with getting comfortable around girls you don't know, they might even reciprocate and be receptive.
Good luck on your long journey, I'm still a bit of a noob and have a ways to go, but it gets easier if you can handle the nerves.
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My First Attempt
06-15-2012, 01:49 AM
I love reading about newbies just starting out. Just talk to everyone and the nervousness will eventually go away. Get rejected over and over so you become immune to it. Most guys will NEVER be able to approach a good looking female stranger and try to hold a conversation.
