Quote: (03-31-2012 08:27 AM)Commander Shepard Wrote:
In terms of anxiety, deep breathing, focusing on something outside of yourself, and affirmations like "I can handle it, no matter what happens I can handle it" help. The anxiety won't go away though unless you DO what you are afraid of. I've been doing personal development-self help for over ten years. Despite what a psychologist tells you, you will not get over a childhood issue by contemplation. Taking action is the only way, even though it can be very painful at times.
Sounds good. Recently when I've felt nervous in a loud social setting, I start saying calm things to myself, or imagining the sound of wave crashing. I has helped, and has been a way better way to deal with feelings of discomfort, rather than my usual 'act like a goofy jackass' approach to dealing with these intense feelings. I appreciate this advice.
Quote: (03-31-2012 06:09 PM)Gmac Wrote:
You might need professional help given the circumstances. On the other hand, you might just need experience. Immerse yourself in uncomfortable situations as often as you can. That's how I overcame my social awkwardness and insecurities.
I went to therapy for sixth months, so I think action is what I need to take right now. I have to a certain level, but it feels like there is this massive wall between talking and taking things to "the next level". For whatever reason, I just keep making these excuses to not take action, even when I want to, when it comes to sexual things.
Quote: (04-01-2012 06:23 PM)DareP Wrote:
This is going to be unconventional advice - But my advice would be to go to a rave and do some MDMA. And do this like, 10 times, no more than once every week or two though. Here's why.
I've taken ecstasy once and it was a pretty cool experience. Although, I feel like the rave scene isn't my bag. If I do end up going to more raves, I'll take ecstasy again, but I don't think I'm going to seek out that particular method of overcoming problems.
Quote: (04-02-2012 06:20 PM)houston Wrote:
Ecstasy is a girl's drug and people shove it in their asses to kick it in faster. Just get high and go to the mall so you won't be all there and get so nervous when talking to girls.
Summer is coming and one of my best friends from high school is a huge pothead, so I think I'm gonna try this a couple times. I'm imagining it now, and it sounds like a good story.
Also, I'll be honest. The main reason I started this thread is that I have been really frustrated recently. I feel like I have been stuck at square one for the LONGEST fucking time. I feel like I have evolved in a lot of areas since I have started working and re-working my personality and sense of being one and a half years ago, except for one area. My ability to be sexually aggressive. I just cannot seem to touch people. I don't enjoy it, in fact I actively avoid it. I can't give people real hugs or real handshakes. It is just something that is so frustrating. I obviously need to take the plunge and just go for it.
I know venting on some forum is not optimal, but I don't want to complain about this to my friends either. I've vented a little bit to one of my friends that knows about what happened to me, and I've decided that I'm not going to speak about this out here in the real world anymore. Since I know that complaining and sharing negative feelings is one of the quickest ways to kill a friendship.
Man, I just feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place right now. I know that I'm just gonna have to suck it up and draw from the place inside me that is really strong as a person and push forward.
Either way, thanks guys for reading and for the suggestions. I really appreciate it.