I have no problem answering questions, but these ones keep coming up, so let's try to use this guide before asking them again and again...
1. Where do I start & How do I stop being so lame?
A lot of guys initially getting into game want to know what they can do to immediately improve their success with women. You'll hear "be confident" thrown around a lot. While that is true, what you don't hear is how to improve your social confidence. I'd advise every newbie to start off by just being a friendlier person, and by that I mean start small talk with your cashier, bank-teller, etc, say hello to people you don't know on the street, overcome your fear of the unknown. The second thing you can do right away is start working out. You don't have to be He-Man, but a regular exercise routine never hurt a man's confidence. If working out isn't for you a good alternative is learning a martial art.
Here's some tips on being a man from Roosh's blog.
Here's more solid tips from Mixx.
Above all else, stop over-analyzing every little thing, and start doing.
2. Am I too old/young to get into game?
I've been seeing this one a lot. First off, you can never be too young to learn about game. As for being too old, can your dick still get hard? If so, you probably owe it to your penis to keep gaming. Look at guys like Tenderman100, don't let age be an excuse.
3. Approach anxiety & What to open with:
This is a common deterrent for many guys getting into game; they simply lack the ability to go up to a woman they've never met and say, "Hello."
Roosh has blogged on openers and AA many times:
http://www.rooshv.com/hung-up-on-the-opener
http://www.rooshv.com/the-best-motivator...hing-girls
http://www.rooshv.com/7-signs-you-should...ach-a-girl
http://www.rooshv.com/foundation-of-your-game
http://www.rooshv.com/how-to-deal-with-approach-anxiety
I could go on, but the basic idea is to become comfortable through repetition. Think of any skill you've learned in your life, be it a sport, an instrument or a foreign language. How did you get good? Practice. The more you approach, the less you care what a girl says because you know you can always approach another one.
As far as canned openers go, it really doesn't matter what you say, but how you say it. I find that situational openers offer the most to talk about though.
4. Is 'this' an IOI?
Chances are if you *think* it is an IOI, it is, and you should approach. Or if you've already approached and are in a good conversation, you should start finding out just how DTF she is through touching and sexual innuendos. If it wasn't an IOI, not a big deal either, you took a chance and worst case scenario you scare away a girl that wasn't DTF anyway; if she sticks around just work on building attraction and try again.
5. What if I don't know which girl to pick?
Let's say you've got two girls on opposite ends of the bar that are both into you, but you can only try to bang one tonight, what do you do? This is very simple: You pick the horniest one. If both seem like a 'sure thing' then you pick the more attractive one. If you pass up on the sure thing at any point in the night, you will more than likely regret it later. If the girl is especially DTF, work on getting her out of that venue and into a bed, ASAP!
6. Dealing with cock-blocking:
Roosh's line: “Did you really just do that? I’m being friendly and respectful to your friend and you rudely interrupt. Did your parents teach you to be anti-social like that?” from this blog post.
Here's a post from Tuth that links to many other forms of rooster blocking.
The main thing is to keep your cool, and to not let the offender get away with their crime unpunished. You want to give the perpetrator something to think about next time they try to stop you (and their friend) from getting laid.
7. What about Facebook?
My advice is don't add girls to your facebook, especially before you've banged them. Facebook gives away too much information for free, and that could cost you your prospect. If the girl brings up facebook I tell her I'm one of the 23 people left on Earth that doesn't have one, and I'm waiting for a personal invitation and six figure contract from Mark Zuckerberg before I join. Only once has this cost me a potential bang. The only exception is if you're in a place where you can't communicate with a phone, then you'll just have to do what it takes.
8. Texting:
The most common questions here are 'When should I text?' and 'What should I text?' I follow Roosh's texting mantra of keep it simple. Here's my common text template, all from a previous post I made and assuming you've yet to bang the girl you are texting:
I always open with a simple, "What's up?" I don't even put my name, if she wants to know badly enough she can text "Who is this?" or whatever. Telling her "What's up, this is CJ" has never made a difference.
I don't wait extra days to text a girl. If I feel like I can get the bang quickest by texting her the next day, that's what I do. Otherwise I try to text her within 48 hours. If you go much passed that you run the risk of her not wanting to respond to what could become a random name/number. The ideal time of day for this text is between 7pm and 9pm. This is a window frame where she should be out of work/class, but not asleep or out for the night.
During that first exchange I'll banter meaningless bullshit with her, as per playing girls' retarded text message games. I don't help her write a novel mind you, there's pauses to match hers and I try to always make sure she sends the last message that day/night.
Making sure she sent the last message means she's waiting for you to eventually respond, I do this the next day/night. Don't wait more than 24 hours, or she's likely to just divert to one of the other half dozen guys she's texting.
During the second exchange I keep things more simplistic, trying to set up a date. If she doesn't commit to anything here, then I wait several days before trying a restart using "what's up" again and basically going through the routine from the start. If you don't get her out within two weeks, you can safely delete her number as she's put you in texting limbo.
Always read the crap you type before you send it. If it sounds really dumb, then you should probably re-write it.
9. Why did she flake? How can I stop flaking?
So many guys that are just getting into game ask this question. They think that just because they get a number from a friendly girl, had a great first date, texted each other all night, made out and everything but sex happened, that there's no way she'd flake on them now. WRONG! The reality is you will be flaked on a lot as you delve into game. There's a million reasons girls will flake, but to me the most common is:
"The Curse of the Drunken Bar Chick"
-Girls will get drunk out at the bar, do whatever the hell they want - be it making out, getting groped, blowing some dude in the bathroom - as long as they don't get pregnant nothing they did really happened or counts, because guess what? They were drunk!
More fun facts about girls:
1. They'll make out with anyone (especially when drunk)
2. They'll give their number to anyone (especially when drunk)
3. They'll text anyone (especially when bored)
4. They bleed out their snatches every month and get even more illogical, acting solely on emotion.
So, there's a good chance she has other options/distractions going on and you're not a priority. Don't make her a priority either.
The good news is there are two solutions to flaking:
1. You accept that flaking happens, and stop giving a shit about it. In fact you start to expect her to flake, but don't care because you're too busy with your other options.
2. Bang her the day/night you meet her. The fact is, if you bang her and then she flakes, who cares? You've already got what you wanted! Even if you want to make her your girlfriend, Bang her ASAP. Conversely, it's a lot of fun to flake on girls after you've banged them.
10. Breaking a cold streak/dry spell:
As your game develops you start to expect pussy on the regular, so you may be a bit stunned when all of a sudden your fuck buddies have moved on and you have no new prospects. Don't worry, this is normal and you will eventually get laid again. My advice (in order of importance):
- Go out more! If you only go out twice a week, try four nights, if you're going out 7 nights a week, try day game. You get the idea. Just make as many approaches as possible.
- Don't panic! You'll start to look desperate and scare girls away.
- Casually hit up old fuck buddies that fell out of your rotation. You never know, they may be in a dry spell too.
- Try to find a slut online. Don't make this your sole avenue, but you can really supplement your total approaches by spamming online messages hoping to end that drought. Keep in mind online interactions do little to improve your game.
- Lower your standards. I'm not saying go out and fuck a whale, but consider banging a very average to slightly below average girl just to get the wheels rolling again.
11. Re-connecting with ex-gfs, fuck-buddies, friends, neighbors, etc:
When it comes to getting back with a girl, or making another attempt at a girl now that you have 'game' on your side, the general advice is to forget it, and spend your time looking for other girls instead. The reason for this is because you care too much; trust me on this, deep down you do. An ex can also become a crutch, inhibiting you from discovering the delicious tastes of new fruits. The real reason you want to get with an ex is because that is more comfortable for you; don't be too much of a pussy to step out of your comfort zone and try something new.
With girls you've already known for years (friends/neighbors), they've put you in their 'friend-zone' by now, so it's quite unlikely you'll ever bang them, no matter how much you've changed.
The exceptions:
Girls you've known for a long-time, but never really got to know each other. Maybe this is a friend of a friend you've seen at parties, but never talked. Or the girl that lives in your apartment complex that you've seen for months, but never engaged in conversation. In this case you likely don't even exist in that girl's mind, so game away.
Fuck-buddies, and I don't mean the kind you've gone out to dinner with, shared some deep conversations with, but never dated. I'm talking about girls that you used strictly for sex. Maybe she fell out of your rotation, or you just got tired of banging her because something new came along. Now you're bored on a Friday night, on a drought, or you just can't find a girl that swallows, go ahead and hit that bitch up and see if she's still a nympho (she is).
12. What is Oneitis and how can I avoid it?
So you got some game, got a girl, but now you've reverted back to your pussy ways putting her happiness before yours. Worse yet, you're on the forum asking us what you can do to keep her/get her back! Don't be that guy, we'll all laugh at you and then tell you to remember there's other girls out there.
I'm not saying to condition yourself to be completely numb and void of emotions, that's robot-like and unnatural. Instead condition yourself to not be afraid of losing any particular girl. When there's no fear of loss you can say and do whatever you like, because you know you can easily go out and replace her. Plus, if you're like yours truly, you've always got more than one girl in the rotation with your eyes on the next recruit, so you never have to worry about going without sex for long.
13. How do I un-game a girl?
Some of you are asking why the hell you'd ever want to do this? Well, let's say you've got a girl, but you've had enough of her. Maybe you want to let her down soft, or maybe you're worried that she's bat-shit crazy and might try to Bobbit you if you break things off.
Luckily un-gaming a girl is easy, just do what you used to do before discovering game: act needy, call/text her all the time, beg for sex, start acting real jealous when she goes out, etc.
My preferred option is to just phase her out. Start hanging out less and less, while returning fewer calls/texts until she gets the idea that you'll both be moving in separate directions soon.
The other option, is to completely ignore her. This may seem like a real dick move, but think of how many girls have flaked on you. Turnabout is fair play, and sometimes this is the only viable option.
14. Going out solo:
So you're getting into game, and you want to go out every night, but can't find someone to go with you everyday, no big deal! Roosh, G and Houston have you covered. The idea was crazy to me when I first got into game, but now I have no problem at all.
Myself, I like to post up at the bar on busy nights, check out the action have a few drinks while talking to the bartenders (flirting with them if they're girls), and let the action come to me. You can get a lot of conversations started with girls waiting to get their drinks. Aside from that I always remember that Happy Hour is your friend, and I make no excuses for being out alone. I'm out having a drink alone, because that's what I wanted to do.
I hope this list helps serve as a reference to RVF's new members, and can help you quickly answer early questions as you embark on a path to becoming happier and more successful with women. My final piece of advice is to always remember to keep approaching, more and more, as a fellow playa on this site once said, "The only bad approach, is the one you did not make."
1. Where do I start & How do I stop being so lame?
A lot of guys initially getting into game want to know what they can do to immediately improve their success with women. You'll hear "be confident" thrown around a lot. While that is true, what you don't hear is how to improve your social confidence. I'd advise every newbie to start off by just being a friendlier person, and by that I mean start small talk with your cashier, bank-teller, etc, say hello to people you don't know on the street, overcome your fear of the unknown. The second thing you can do right away is start working out. You don't have to be He-Man, but a regular exercise routine never hurt a man's confidence. If working out isn't for you a good alternative is learning a martial art.
Here's some tips on being a man from Roosh's blog.
Here's more solid tips from Mixx.
Above all else, stop over-analyzing every little thing, and start doing.
2. Am I too old/young to get into game?
I've been seeing this one a lot. First off, you can never be too young to learn about game. As for being too old, can your dick still get hard? If so, you probably owe it to your penis to keep gaming. Look at guys like Tenderman100, don't let age be an excuse.
3. Approach anxiety & What to open with:
This is a common deterrent for many guys getting into game; they simply lack the ability to go up to a woman they've never met and say, "Hello."
Roosh has blogged on openers and AA many times:
http://www.rooshv.com/hung-up-on-the-opener
http://www.rooshv.com/the-best-motivator...hing-girls
http://www.rooshv.com/7-signs-you-should...ach-a-girl
http://www.rooshv.com/foundation-of-your-game
http://www.rooshv.com/how-to-deal-with-approach-anxiety
I could go on, but the basic idea is to become comfortable through repetition. Think of any skill you've learned in your life, be it a sport, an instrument or a foreign language. How did you get good? Practice. The more you approach, the less you care what a girl says because you know you can always approach another one.
As far as canned openers go, it really doesn't matter what you say, but how you say it. I find that situational openers offer the most to talk about though.
4. Is 'this' an IOI?
Chances are if you *think* it is an IOI, it is, and you should approach. Or if you've already approached and are in a good conversation, you should start finding out just how DTF she is through touching and sexual innuendos. If it wasn't an IOI, not a big deal either, you took a chance and worst case scenario you scare away a girl that wasn't DTF anyway; if she sticks around just work on building attraction and try again.
5. What if I don't know which girl to pick?
Let's say you've got two girls on opposite ends of the bar that are both into you, but you can only try to bang one tonight, what do you do? This is very simple: You pick the horniest one. If both seem like a 'sure thing' then you pick the more attractive one. If you pass up on the sure thing at any point in the night, you will more than likely regret it later. If the girl is especially DTF, work on getting her out of that venue and into a bed, ASAP!
6. Dealing with cock-blocking:
Roosh's line: “Did you really just do that? I’m being friendly and respectful to your friend and you rudely interrupt. Did your parents teach you to be anti-social like that?” from this blog post.
Here's a post from Tuth that links to many other forms of rooster blocking.
The main thing is to keep your cool, and to not let the offender get away with their crime unpunished. You want to give the perpetrator something to think about next time they try to stop you (and their friend) from getting laid.
7. What about Facebook?
My advice is don't add girls to your facebook, especially before you've banged them. Facebook gives away too much information for free, and that could cost you your prospect. If the girl brings up facebook I tell her I'm one of the 23 people left on Earth that doesn't have one, and I'm waiting for a personal invitation and six figure contract from Mark Zuckerberg before I join. Only once has this cost me a potential bang. The only exception is if you're in a place where you can't communicate with a phone, then you'll just have to do what it takes.
8. Texting:
The most common questions here are 'When should I text?' and 'What should I text?' I follow Roosh's texting mantra of keep it simple. Here's my common text template, all from a previous post I made and assuming you've yet to bang the girl you are texting:
I always open with a simple, "What's up?" I don't even put my name, if she wants to know badly enough she can text "Who is this?" or whatever. Telling her "What's up, this is CJ" has never made a difference.
I don't wait extra days to text a girl. If I feel like I can get the bang quickest by texting her the next day, that's what I do. Otherwise I try to text her within 48 hours. If you go much passed that you run the risk of her not wanting to respond to what could become a random name/number. The ideal time of day for this text is between 7pm and 9pm. This is a window frame where she should be out of work/class, but not asleep or out for the night.
During that first exchange I'll banter meaningless bullshit with her, as per playing girls' retarded text message games. I don't help her write a novel mind you, there's pauses to match hers and I try to always make sure she sends the last message that day/night.
Making sure she sent the last message means she's waiting for you to eventually respond, I do this the next day/night. Don't wait more than 24 hours, or she's likely to just divert to one of the other half dozen guys she's texting.
During the second exchange I keep things more simplistic, trying to set up a date. If she doesn't commit to anything here, then I wait several days before trying a restart using "what's up" again and basically going through the routine from the start. If you don't get her out within two weeks, you can safely delete her number as she's put you in texting limbo.
Always read the crap you type before you send it. If it sounds really dumb, then you should probably re-write it.
9. Why did she flake? How can I stop flaking?
So many guys that are just getting into game ask this question. They think that just because they get a number from a friendly girl, had a great first date, texted each other all night, made out and everything but sex happened, that there's no way she'd flake on them now. WRONG! The reality is you will be flaked on a lot as you delve into game. There's a million reasons girls will flake, but to me the most common is:
"The Curse of the Drunken Bar Chick"
-Girls will get drunk out at the bar, do whatever the hell they want - be it making out, getting groped, blowing some dude in the bathroom - as long as they don't get pregnant nothing they did really happened or counts, because guess what? They were drunk!
More fun facts about girls:
1. They'll make out with anyone (especially when drunk)
2. They'll give their number to anyone (especially when drunk)
3. They'll text anyone (especially when bored)
4. They bleed out their snatches every month and get even more illogical, acting solely on emotion.
So, there's a good chance she has other options/distractions going on and you're not a priority. Don't make her a priority either.
The good news is there are two solutions to flaking:
1. You accept that flaking happens, and stop giving a shit about it. In fact you start to expect her to flake, but don't care because you're too busy with your other options.
2. Bang her the day/night you meet her. The fact is, if you bang her and then she flakes, who cares? You've already got what you wanted! Even if you want to make her your girlfriend, Bang her ASAP. Conversely, it's a lot of fun to flake on girls after you've banged them.
10. Breaking a cold streak/dry spell:
As your game develops you start to expect pussy on the regular, so you may be a bit stunned when all of a sudden your fuck buddies have moved on and you have no new prospects. Don't worry, this is normal and you will eventually get laid again. My advice (in order of importance):
- Go out more! If you only go out twice a week, try four nights, if you're going out 7 nights a week, try day game. You get the idea. Just make as many approaches as possible.
- Don't panic! You'll start to look desperate and scare girls away.
- Casually hit up old fuck buddies that fell out of your rotation. You never know, they may be in a dry spell too.
- Try to find a slut online. Don't make this your sole avenue, but you can really supplement your total approaches by spamming online messages hoping to end that drought. Keep in mind online interactions do little to improve your game.
- Lower your standards. I'm not saying go out and fuck a whale, but consider banging a very average to slightly below average girl just to get the wheels rolling again.
11. Re-connecting with ex-gfs, fuck-buddies, friends, neighbors, etc:
When it comes to getting back with a girl, or making another attempt at a girl now that you have 'game' on your side, the general advice is to forget it, and spend your time looking for other girls instead. The reason for this is because you care too much; trust me on this, deep down you do. An ex can also become a crutch, inhibiting you from discovering the delicious tastes of new fruits. The real reason you want to get with an ex is because that is more comfortable for you; don't be too much of a pussy to step out of your comfort zone and try something new.
With girls you've already known for years (friends/neighbors), they've put you in their 'friend-zone' by now, so it's quite unlikely you'll ever bang them, no matter how much you've changed.
The exceptions:
Girls you've known for a long-time, but never really got to know each other. Maybe this is a friend of a friend you've seen at parties, but never talked. Or the girl that lives in your apartment complex that you've seen for months, but never engaged in conversation. In this case you likely don't even exist in that girl's mind, so game away.
Fuck-buddies, and I don't mean the kind you've gone out to dinner with, shared some deep conversations with, but never dated. I'm talking about girls that you used strictly for sex. Maybe she fell out of your rotation, or you just got tired of banging her because something new came along. Now you're bored on a Friday night, on a drought, or you just can't find a girl that swallows, go ahead and hit that bitch up and see if she's still a nympho (she is).
12. What is Oneitis and how can I avoid it?
So you got some game, got a girl, but now you've reverted back to your pussy ways putting her happiness before yours. Worse yet, you're on the forum asking us what you can do to keep her/get her back! Don't be that guy, we'll all laugh at you and then tell you to remember there's other girls out there.
I'm not saying to condition yourself to be completely numb and void of emotions, that's robot-like and unnatural. Instead condition yourself to not be afraid of losing any particular girl. When there's no fear of loss you can say and do whatever you like, because you know you can easily go out and replace her. Plus, if you're like yours truly, you've always got more than one girl in the rotation with your eyes on the next recruit, so you never have to worry about going without sex for long.
13. How do I un-game a girl?
Some of you are asking why the hell you'd ever want to do this? Well, let's say you've got a girl, but you've had enough of her. Maybe you want to let her down soft, or maybe you're worried that she's bat-shit crazy and might try to Bobbit you if you break things off.
Luckily un-gaming a girl is easy, just do what you used to do before discovering game: act needy, call/text her all the time, beg for sex, start acting real jealous when she goes out, etc.
My preferred option is to just phase her out. Start hanging out less and less, while returning fewer calls/texts until she gets the idea that you'll both be moving in separate directions soon.
The other option, is to completely ignore her. This may seem like a real dick move, but think of how many girls have flaked on you. Turnabout is fair play, and sometimes this is the only viable option.
14. Going out solo:
So you're getting into game, and you want to go out every night, but can't find someone to go with you everyday, no big deal! Roosh, G and Houston have you covered. The idea was crazy to me when I first got into game, but now I have no problem at all.
Myself, I like to post up at the bar on busy nights, check out the action have a few drinks while talking to the bartenders (flirting with them if they're girls), and let the action come to me. You can get a lot of conversations started with girls waiting to get their drinks. Aside from that I always remember that Happy Hour is your friend, and I make no excuses for being out alone. I'm out having a drink alone, because that's what I wanted to do.
I hope this list helps serve as a reference to RVF's new members, and can help you quickly answer early questions as you embark on a path to becoming happier and more successful with women. My final piece of advice is to always remember to keep approaching, more and more, as a fellow playa on this site once said, "The only bad approach, is the one you did not make."
![[Image: gift3.jpg]](https://rooshvforum.network/images/smilies/gift3.jpg)
![[Image: gift2.jpg]](https://rooshvforum.network/images/smilies/gift2.jpg)
![[Image: smile.gif]](https://rooshvforum.network/images/smilies/smile.gif)
